A L I C E & T H E M U M S T h e
L a b o u r
ISSUE 1
S t o r i e s
E d i t i o n
The Tired Mums Club's Laura gives us advice on birth preparation
Released Februrary 2020. Top Ten Hospital Bag Must Haves
C Section & Vaginal Birth Stories from Mummy Bloggers
CONTENTS Vaginal Birth / C Section /Â The Birth Toolkit
05
The Editor's Story: Alice's labour that started in Nandos!
22
16
The Perfect Birth?
26
Birthing multiples by a twin mummy
Laura Grant on the importance of birth planning
29
30
Have a giggle at what the Dads had to say about the day their babies were born
How Hypnobirthing could change your birth experience
32
34
Are your bags packed? Here's our Top Ten essentials
Contact us for information on how you can get involved
03 05 08 11 16
Welcome! Alice & Ted Kayleigh & Harry Jade & Reuben Bethan & Annabelle
19 22
Daniele & Amelia Skye, Cece & Elle
25 26 29 30 32 34
Quote of the Month Planning for Birth Dads on Birth Hypnobirthing Hospital Bag Tips Contact Us
issuu.com/aliceandthe mumsmag
Alice EDITOR
This little project has been on my mind for some time now- and I'm quite disappointed it's taken me this long to put together- but most of you reading this know what motherhood is like and the sheer craziness it brings. I think I've got a pretty good excuse for only just getting round to it. A year ago I created a blog that featured regular guest writers, spilling their every thought on the woes and troubles of motherhood, but also the delight and enjoyment it brings. My main intention was to 'share the load' if you will, in informing other mothers that they are not alone in every struggle, whether it be attempting to get that newborn to latch, the utter guilt of returning to work or dealing with your first toddler tantrum. Motherhood- for those of you that don't know- is
mental. It's emotional. It's frustrating. It's completely exhausting and yet purely beautiful. When I started that blog I knew that new mums needed to hear that message and the things that I was certainly never told. They needed the cold hard facts. The honest truth. That is what I wish to bring to you in print. As my blog becomes more and more selfishly about me and my experiences, I knew all your stories still needed to be shared. The first edition of Alice & the Mums focuses on your labour stories, and I hope more than anything that expectant mums read it feeling prepared for what birthing a baby brings, that new mums read it with a feeling of fondness despite the vivid memory of the pain and new scars to show for it, and mums who've been mums for a while look back with a familiar smile.
“Motherhood- It's emotional. It's frustrating. It's completely exhausting and yet beautiful.�
ALICE & THE MUMS | 3
VAGINAL BIRTH STORIES HYPNOBIRTHING, WATER BIRTHS & THIRD DEGREE TEARS
VAGINAL BIRTH STORIES
ALICE & TED THE EDITOR'S STORY
By Alice King
Labour wasn’t half as bad as I expected, although I’m probably one of the rare few that has ever said that. Yeah, it’s bloody painful, don’t get me wrong, and I was lucky enough to have a fairly straightforward birth.
I think in my mind I’d built it up to be something truly awful, absolutely horrendous even, and really- it was okay. When telling my labour story in person, it often starts with ‘Well, I was sat in Nandos one Saturday, and…’ so I guess in writing it should be no different. Well…I was sat in Nandos one Saturday with my brother in law and sister in law, my partner, Rob, and my 2 month old niece, Ahsoka.
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VAGINAL BIRTH STORIES
Just a day over my due date and incredibly uncomfortable, (trying ever so hard to fit my bump between the back of the chair and table ledge,) I kept rearranging my position. It felt like my bump was bulging beyond the barriers of my skin and that my little one inside was struggling to find a good position. He kicked me more than ever before. My sister in law gave me a look of sympathy- but now I think of it it was probably one of knowing. We got home shortly afterwards and I spent most the afternoon playing on the Xbox and bouncing on my exercise ball. It got to about 5 O’Clock and I was starting to feel pain coming in waves right at the
" I climbed out the bath and realised I was covered in blood."
bottom of my bump and across my back. I struggled into the bath and began to cry as
friends at the time and it had been an
the waves became increasingly painful and
ongoing joke that the night she was out for
exceedingly close together. An hour later
this meal would be the night that it
and I still hadn’t moved. Rob called the
happened- and everyone was right.
labour ward, and after speaking to the
Stealing her away from the seabass she’d
midwife she had
just ordered, we were on our way.
decided that my contractions weren’t
Once I’d arrived at the hospital they did
strong enough yet to take a trip to the
many checks and there was more waiting
hospital, until shortly after that when I
than anything productive. I kept being told
climbed out the bath and realised I
that it was likely I’d be sent home and that
was covered in blood. After another call, I
I wasn’t in established labour yet. I kept
was drying myself off ready to go
asking myself “how much worse is this
Now the plan was always for my mum to
going to get?” The nurses, doctors and
take me to the hospital, and I felt so terrible
midwives worked hard to figure out what
as she was out for dinner with
was going on and concluded that my
ALICE & THE MUMS | 6
waters had broken- and I was
away from my little one being born, to
completely and utterly oblivious to this!
him being likely only an hour away. I laid
The fluid in my bump was decreasing
on my back, Rob one side and my mum
and I was told I’d be sent to the DAU to
the other, squeezing so tight, being so
further dilate and then I’d need to be
close to getting my little boy out. The
induced.
pushing was the easiest part physically,
The DAU was lonely, despite being
but the worst was feeling myself tear. I
there with my mum and Rob. Others
can remember the rush of adrenaline
would come and go, but I was there for
to this day and despite the gas and air it
the long haul. It was too painful to sleep,
was excruciating. After 45 minutes
and I must have had 2 or 3 baths just in
of pushing and a 4 hour labour, I was
the one night. After an attempt to drink
one push away. But he could wait 30
some coffee and keep myself awake, I
more seconds, as I shouted: STOP!
started vomiting everywhere. I started
Everyone came to a halt and
on the gas and air and that made me
confusingly looked up at my keen
vomit too- but I soon got the hang of
expression. “I just wanted to say thank
it. It soon reached the morning and I
you to everyone for helping me.” I said,
was ready to go. They sent me off to the
so pleased with everyone and everything
labour ward and the anticipation of
that had happened. And like that, with
holding my little boy in my arms within
just one more push, he was here.
the next 24 hours was overwhelming. I
Holding Ted for the first time didn’t
wanted him out and I was determined it
even feel possible. He was so small, so
was going to be quick.
sweet, so beautiful. After checking he
Once on the labour ward, I was
was definitely a boy, I wanted nothing
hooked up to the drip and ready to be
else but to hold onto that moment
induced. It sounds so silly, but having
forever. That moment was the start of a
those cannulas in my hand was the
massive change in my life, but a very
worst bit of all of it for me. I’m not
meaningful and perfect one. It was the
squeamish with needles but I am with
start of madness, sleepless nights and
veins, and I hated looking at it. I just
tantrums, of firsts and many memories.
wanted to pull it straight out. My
Thank you, Ted, for such a wonderful
experience of my contractions at this
journey so far.
point was that I just wanted to keep moving as the more I moved, the lesser the pain. My boy had now moved back to back and the contractions were getting worse because of this- but no fear- my midwife stuck her hand up there and turned him back round for me! Everything from this point happened so quickly, and I was in such a blur of gas and air related euphoria I’m not sure what happened when or the timings of anything. I remember going from feeling like not much was happening to everything all happening so quickly. I went from most likely being half a day
ALICE & THE MUMS | 7
Kayleigh Williams avoided talking about her birth and felt unprepared for some of the trauma and unexpected moments it bought with it. She tells us her labour story and how she was scared for the life of her little boy, Harry.
ALICE & THE MUMS | 8
"I regret not educating myself a bit more with it."
Kayleigh & Harry's Story LABOUR I S SOMETHI NG EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN GOES THROUGH, AND WHETHER I T’ S A C- SECTI ON OR NATURAL, WE ALL HAVE DI FFERENT MEMORI ES OF I T EACH TI ME.
"The midwife told me I was already 6cm dilated and I didn't feel a thing!"
I refused to listen to anyone’s labour stories purely because deep down I didn’t want to face the fact I was going to be ruined by this bundle of cuteness. I had my heart set on a calming water birth followed by returning home with Harry within the hour. I was determined that’s what was going to happen and although I had people telling me: “You’d be surprised” and “It doesn’t always work out like that” I really wish I’d listened to everyone because oh boy, labour is HARSH, on a whole different level of pain. Harry was due on the 20th August 2018, but made an appearance on the 24th of August 2018. I envied everyone I knew who had a baby within those 4 days because I prayed it was me everyday, as I waddled through town with this, huge space hopper attached to me, everyone looking at me in the 33 degree heat asking me how I’m coping and how they’re not jealous of me. Oh, I hated peoples opinions towards the end, it was not something I wanted to sit down with a cup of tea and actually enjoy listening to. I knew I was in pain, I knew my bump was above average and no I wasn’t coping. Those 4 days felt like 4 weeks. I was having my sweep done on the 23rd of August and my midwife asked me if I was in any pain or so, and I said no- why? She told me I was already 6cm and listen to this, I didn’t feel a thing. I felt completely normal, uncomfortable yes, but no pain down there. She told me to get down to the hospital because if my waters go, I’m going to be having this baby on my bed and I wasn’t ready for ALICE & THE MUMS | 9
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that kind of birth. I had to head down to the hospital so off me and Owen went, excited we were going to meet our baby. Much to our disappointment we spent 5 hours in hospital waiting and waiting. No pain, no signs of labour at all so we were sent home. By this point I was frustrated because my whole day had been wasted all for nothing. It was around 1am when what I thought was my waters, went. I got out of bed and let everyone know it’s time for me to go. I started having tiny pains and each time they got worse. Owen drove me to the hospital and that was probably the worst drive I had ever been on. I was in SO much pain, almost unbearable at times but I knew it was going to be okay. The hospital got everything ready for me. My waters hadn’t actually broken, the midwife had to brake them for me and oh my goodness, it went everywhere. Harry had pooped inside of me so it was a case of getting me into the room and getting this baby out of me. The pain was so bad at this point and I had to reach for the gas and air as I was panicking and needed to calm myself down. Owen was by my side supporting me, letting me know everything was
ALICE & THE MUMS | 10
ito be okay. The midwife told us we were losing Harry, he’s getting stressed and he needs to come out now. In came I reckon about 15 doctors and nurses, who helped take me down to theatre as this was then classed as an emergency. Owen was left in a room all by himself for around 20 minutes bless him. I don’t remember this at all but I’m guessing he felt scared and worried for us all. I was given an epidural as the pain was getting so unbearable I was crying, I physically could not move anywhere. Harry’s heartbeat was slowing down, so I had to be cut twice down below, and Harry was given forceps and ventouse as he was almost stuck inside of me. Pushing whilst not feeling a thing was so difficult. Harry then came at 4:43am on the 24th August. My whole world changed from that moment and it was the best moments of my life. I’d just been through the most traumatic time of my life but all that mattered was Harry in my arms and Owen right next to me. I was not expecting what I had in store for my labour. It was truly the worst experience my body has ever been put through. I regret not educating myself a bit more with it. The only positive thing from it was Harry. My little bundle of joy.
JADE & REUBEN Jade's birth: Mistaking contractions for trapped wind and doing it all without pain relief!
ALICE & THE MUMS | 11
Written by Jade Miller My birth story starts at 4am on Tuesday 12th February 2019, when I awoke in the middle of the night and was struggling to get back to sleep because of trapped wind cramps. I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I’d become really uncomfortable and the cramps were super niggly preventing me from getting any kind of sleep. I was tossing and turning and eventually decided to get up so I didn’t disturb my husband. I went downstairs and switched the telly on, popped the kettle on and made a peppermint tea and bounced on my ball. I then tried pacing around the room, followed by putting my feet up with a hot water bottle across my stomach. Once up, I got my husband to give me a mini back massage and voila within 10 mins I was able to go pass some wind and go to the loo. My husband the little miracle worker, I thought. I was thrilled and awaited the relief… oh man it didn’t come. Instead, as the morning progressed the trapped wind cramps got worse and I started getting regular lose bowel movements. The only saving grace was I thought ‘great, hopefully this is the clear out I’ve heard people talk of before labour starts’. I had a scheduled midwife appointment booked in the afternoon at the local midwife led birthing unit and my husband had arranged to finish work early so he could take me. Unfortunately, due to severe SPD I’d decided to stop driving and this made it a nightmare getting anywhere – as not only was I not driving but I was on crutches. My husband had been being a champ and helping by giving me lifts where he could. By 14:00 I was now feeling exhausted from the trapped wind cramps and a bit fed up of not being able to shift it. I also was starting to feel a bit gross as I was on the loo at least every 10 mins for a lose bowel movement (sorry, TMI I know). I’d been practicing hypnobirthing via The Positive Birth Company’s digital pack and had really enjoyed doing so. I was therefore using the discomfort I was feeling to channel and practice both my up breathing and my down breathing. I timed a shower so I’d be finished and dressed in time for my husband picking me up for my appointment. My goodness did that shower feel amazing on my tummy and back, I didn’t want to get out! It was at this point that I got out of the shower and thought… wait a minute. These cramps are becoming really intense and since when does trapped wind peak and then die off. I popped the Positive Birth Company’s brand new app ‘FREYA’ on (amazing by the way!) and ‘she’ straight away
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READ MORE ABOUT JADE & REUBEN OVER ON HER INSTAGRAM: @THE_MILLER_ DIARIES
told me that I was having surges 3 in 10 and should now be considering calling maternity triage. Nevertheless, I still really doubted these were surges (which makes me laugh now). They weren’t at all what I was expecting! I’d always been told ‘you’ll know when it’s contractions’ therefore I was expecting something so powerful there was no doubt labour was coming, but that wasn’t the case. I told my husband about my discomfort and what the app had suggested when he got home and jokingly said ‘how amazing would it be if the midwife examined me and told me I was 4cm, in established labour and was good to go’. Off to my midwife appointment we went! I told my midwife about the trapped wind and clear out and requested an internal examination in the hope that now at 40+5 my cervix was starting to make all the necessary changes. On the bed I got and she did her usual foetal measurements and checks. ‘Great, head really low down in the pelvis’ she
exclaimed. ‘Wahoo’ I thought as he’d been at brim the last 2 appointments. She went ahead with the examination, paused and looked shocked. ‘You clever woman’ she said ‘you’re 5cm! These are contractions not trapped wind and your waters are bulging. It’s happening’. With those words my mind raced. I was in the very place I wanted to give birth. The birthing room & birthing pool of my dreams were literally down the stairs. In my mind I was imagining the relief I was about to feel as I stepped into that toasty birthing pool with my positive affirmations playing in the background. All of a sudden there was a popping noise followed by a gush. I then felt this warm sensation go up my legs and back. My waters had broken just as she was finishing the examination. Wow! Don’t expect the Hollywood water break I’d been told. It’ll likely just be a trickle. Ha! I was soaking wet with me and the midwife literally swimming in it. Then I looked at the midwife in amazement and excitement only to be
crushed with the words ‘I’m really sorry Jade. Your waters have gone and baby has done a poo’. She checked baby’s heartbeat with a doppler and explained I’d no longer be able to give birth at the very birth centre I was currently stood in (and had my heart set on) and that I needed to ring the hospital triage and head straight there. My husband called whilst the midwife and I got me sorted. They asked to speak to the midwife who explained the examination findings and that my waters contained meconium. The hospital said I needed an ambulance but the midwife and I felt that was unnecessary and that I’d make my own way there. Bad move. We started trying to head to the hospital but the end of school traffic had started to meet the dreaded Manchester commuter traffic AND Manchester United were playing at home. The traffic was not moving, not at all. My surges were now every minute apart and increasing in intensity. I spoke to the hospital and they said I needed an ambulance. We agreed I’d head home (the opposite direction to all the traffic) and wait for the ambulance there. I was happy to head home as I’d promised my midwife I’d go straight to the hospital and not first nip home for my hospital bag. But this was not something I was happy with. Not only was my birth not going to be where or quite how I wanted but I’d also not have my hypnobirthing ‘toolkit’ to hand. We headed home and waited for the ambulance. Surges and pressure were now extremely powerful and I was on the phone to the ambulance call handler updating her on when I was having surges and any progression. My husband was trying to pack all the last bits for the hospital bag as well as guide me through the surges. I leant over my sofa on all fours and breathed through each and every one. When I became vocal my husband prompted and reminded me of my breathing.The ambulance took 1hr 10mins to come which literally felt like forever. At one point, I’d felt the adrenaline try and creep in as I had a quick internal panic that my baby had pooed and I might be delivering him at home on my own without any medical staff. Wow did this make the surges much less manageable. I reminded myself of the all I’d learnt in the digital pack and refused to let the
ALICE & THE MUMS | 13
adrenaline have any interference again. ‘You can do this’ I told myself. ‘The surges cannot be more powerful than me because they are me’. Jump forward to when I arrive at the hospital after being blue lit there (with even the ambulance getting stuck for a bit in the traffic and road works). I was shown to the ugliest labour room I’d ever seen. No ball, no mats, no pool. Just a hospital bed and static monitor. I requested a room with a birth pool and was told nope baby has pooed so that’s now out of the question. I explained I was uncomfortable and needed to be mobile and at least have mats or a ball to try. The midwife went off to find a monitor and on her return said that they would let me try for a water birth if I’d accept some examinations before hand. Let’s do it, I thought. They moved me to a much more appealing room and ran the pool. I couldn’t wait to get in! What a tease it was seeing it and being told I had to be checked and have X,Y & Z done first. Right I thought, let’s adopt a UFO (upright, forward & open) position and concentrate on this breathing. The surges were now very powerful with lots of pressure building in my bum. I decided to get on my knees on the bed leaning over the back of the bed which was bolt upright. As soon as I adopted this position I felt something change. ‘I think I’m ready to push’ I announced. I don’t think they believed me. 'You feel like you’re 9cm’ she said. At this point I was worried things started to take a slightly negative turn, I didn’t feel the midwives were supporting me in the way I’d hoped and dreamed of. They were totally ignoring my birth plan and there was some sort of issue that they were discussing between themselves whilst in my presence but were using medical lingo and weren’t informing me what was going on. It was at this point I was told they needed a second opinion from a consultant and I was not allowed to use the pool.It was from here on out that I could have had a massive wobble and my hypnobirthing dream could have easily been over. However, it was announced that my midwives were being relieved for 30 mins to have a meal break and I would have 2 other midwives covering. My husband passed them my (what now felt redundant) birth plan over to them. Suddenly everything changed. The room
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was dimmed, they spoke in hushed voices, they told me if I felt I was ready to push then I should and they encouraged me. Wow, this is it I thought. I’m in the zone. I got my husband to put the positive birth affirmations on a loop and I began breathing baby down.I bartered with the midwife that I’d let her do an examination if she’d promise me her and her student midwife would stay and deliver my baby instead of the original midwives I’d been assigned. She promised me she’d do her best. Off we went. I felt like me, my midwife, student midwife and my husband were a team. They were reminding me of my breathing and where to channel my energy. They kept me calm. They guided me through. I remember the joy from everyone when the top of baby’s head became visible. ‘Do you want to reach and feel it?’ They asked. Wow I thought. Check me out. I felt like a super woman. I’m having a baby and I’m doing this without pain relief! I also reminded myself of how the days events could have had such a negative impact. I was now so so close. I could tell by the excitement from the room when my surges hit and I was channeling the baby out. He was so nearly out but my body was struggling to have the energy to get him through. Unbeknownst to me, I’d now been in the pushing phase for 2 hours. My midwives said ‘come on Jade you’re so nearly there. We leave in 15 minutes and we want to see the rest of your beautiful baby’s head’. Wait, I want this too I thought! And my body was telling me I was so close. I allowed them to guide me into a new squatting position and this was great as it allowed my body some extra gravity to bear down. It was then that my midwife asked if it would be ok for her senior colleague to enter and take a look. She explained she was a little concerned that baby was getting tired & slightly distressed and that the pressure was a bit too much for him so they really wanted to get him out ASAP. They asked how I’d feel if they did a small cut. My birth plan stated without a shadow of a doubt that this was absolutely not for me. I didn’t want interventions! I thought about BRAIN (a hypnobirthing acronym) and what my options were. Then I saw my wonderful midwife’s face and could tell from her eyes that this was the best thing to do. I trusted her completely.My student midwife got really close and looked so excited as she got ready to deliver my baby. With the next
"Well it must have gone well 'cause I've not heard you say 'I'm never doing that again'." surge I gave it all I had, they did the cut and just like that his head was out. The room told me how his little eyes were open and were looking around the room. I was so jealous I couldn’t see this! I knew I had one more push and I could see him. That surge seemed to take FOREVER to come. But when it did it felt amazing. I just felt him glide out and it felt so euphoric. Right in that moment I felt like a super woman. What an amazing team of people I had around me. My gosh things did not ‘go to plan’ but my birth was AMAZING. If that wasn’t a positive birth I don’t know what is. My lovely midwife explained baby had actually done another poo and that is why they needed the intervention. As well as the fact they’d struggled with my temp the whole way through the pushing stage and I was about to fall into one of their policies about appropriate interventions required for that.I had beautiful skin to skin with my boy following his birth and he fed almost immediately. He was so happy and content and so was I. I still feel totally on cloud 9. I have the PBC digital pack to thank for feeling empowered to make the right decisions about birth for me and my baby. For having the tools I needed to remain positive. For being so in control of my body that my contractions were mistaken for trapped wind (haha!). For knowing that breathing alone can be a pain killer. I remember the midwife saying shortly before she left ‘well it must have gone well cause I’ve not heard you say I’m never doing that again’. Followed by ‘when I labour I want to be exactly like you’. Wow. What a compliment. Hypnobirthing and a drug free birth were right for me. As I say, things didn’t pan out quite how I’d hoped or imagined they would – but this didn’t take away from the fact I had the most empowering experience and was able to safely deliver my baby into the world.
ALICE & THE MUMS | 15
BETHAN & ANNABELLE
BY BETHAN MCKENNA
medical staff who weren't sure whether I'd be able to labour naturally
I know people talk about 'birth plans' my birth plan was to have no birth plan (apart from to keep baby and myself safe)...why? I'll just briefly explain! When we first decided to have a baby, I didn't think there would be any problems or complications...I'm a fit
due to the pressure of pushing. So we discussed caesarean section. This meant due to the operations I've had, I would need to be put to sleep for the procedure. At this point I felt like everything was out of my controlbut...our safety first! After speaking to a neurologist he
and healthy 23 year old I
deemed it safe for me to have a
thought...until my first midwife
natural labour. However, there were
appointment where they go through
time limits on all stages of labour to
your medical history with a fine tooth
make sure we were safe, so I knew I'd
comb!
have to labour/push quickly! "It's my
As a child I had to undergo 3 lots of
first baby, I'll never do it" I thought.
brain surgery due to the pressure on
However; I thought to myself, whatever
my brain. This raised alarm bells for
happens now is what's best for me and
ALICE & THE MUMS | 16
baby, so I will go with the flow, with no
each time) after 5 I'd think 'half way
birth plan or expectations. I'll listen to
there!'
the midwife & that's literally all I can do! The day came where they were
My midwife was very calm and quiet, she sat by the pool with me and my partner. It was as if she was there 'just
going to 'pop my waters.' they put a
in case' and I felt like between the 3 of
cannula in preparation of what may
us it was the most calm experience
happen and so it began.
and completely IN MY CONTROL (at last!)
"With gas and air and positive thinking- I got through!"
Next thing I knew I was saying those words 'I'm ready to push.' After a few controlled pushes I felt the 'sting.' I knew this meant we were nearly at the end. 17:17 my baby was in my arms, I sat in the pool all wrinkly, holding my new
Moments after my waters being broken (15:30) I began to contract and fast! My midwife was amazing, we
tiny human, with my partner (an emotional wreck) behind me. It really was the most amazing,
worked so well together (I think that's
overwhelming feeling - so much so - I
important) she ran the pool for me and
forgot to ask if I'd had a boy or a girl!!!
I waddled in. The contractions were painful yes, but with gas and air and positive thinking, I got through! Everytime one contraction passed I said 'one more closer to meeting my baby!' and throughout each contraction I counted to 10...(mine seemed to last 10 seconds
You
ca n f B e th o l l o w a I n s ta n o n g ra m @be at th a n a 19 f m c k e n n or m o re upd a te s .
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C SECTION ELECTED, EMERGENCY & RECOVERY
DANIELE & AMELIA By Daniele Cerva So it was Sunday, the day of my baby shower. We were in the middle of August, so it was just far too hot for a heavily pregnant lady. I was having such a perfect day (minus the heat) with all my friends but I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable, which I had just put down to how hot it was. It was about 2/3pm and I went to the toilet and before I wee’d I heard a trickle in the toilet and I thought to myself ‘oh my god I didn’t even feel my wee come out at first, must just be another pregnancy symptom’, This happened another two times throughout the day and I thought nothing of it. I then went to the toilet again and when I had finished there was a trickle of water running down my leg and I saw that my wee in the toilet was blood tinged! I called my friends’ mum in and showed her
and she said to just call my midwife to let her know. So I headed back home and called my midwife, told her what had happened and she told me to put a maternity pad in and call back in an hour and to pack a bag just in case, in that hour I had soaked through the pad, I called her back and she said ‘yep sounds as though your waters have broken, you need to head down now’. My boyfriend and I were in disbelief, I was 36 weeks and we were sooo not ready yet. We started to make our way to the hospital, it was about 5 o’clock in the evening, both of us just playing it cool not really knowing what was going on, we even stopped at McDonalds on the way there as we thought it would be a long night. We weren’t quite sure what was happening and we needed to eat. It was about 7/8pm ALICE & THE MUMS | 19
when we got to the hospital, I had soaked through another maternity pad and I was then examined by a doctor because I hadn’t reached full term yet and my waters had broken. She felt my stomach and said that the baby was breach. They did an ultrasound just to be sure and confirmed it. My heart sunk, I had a feeling my whole pregnancy that my baby would be breach and I’d need a caesarian. I just knew it and it was my biggest fear, I did NOT want a caesarian. My boyfriend started crying, bless him, he knew how much I didn’t want a caesarian. We asked if there was anything else they could do but they explained to us that they wouldn’t be able to turn her in my tummy as my waters had broke and there was nothing protecting her and that they’d need to get her out in the next 24 hours. So because we had eaten on the way in they said they couldn’t operate on me just yet and I’d need to wait 8 hours. They put us in a room and I had a midwife come in and check the baby and my obs every few hours. It was now the next day, maybe 11am and the midwife came in and asked when last I ate or drunk. I told her the night before as I was told to fast before they could operate on me, she then offered me a slice of toast and some water. More time had passed and we asked when I’d be going down, the midwife said that because I had eaten it had put me back! We were really frustrated at this point as I was conscious of the time because I knew there was a 24 hour slot from when my waters had broke to when they needed to deliver my baby and they just kept putting me back and then offered me food which put me back further! Then my contractions started...! Started off slow and then got worse and moved round to my lower back! I was in pain, I wasn’t allowed any pain relief and I felt really frustrated as I was having contractions for no reason as I knew I’d be having a csection! It was now about 7.30pm and the midwife who had checked me in the night before had started her shift and when she saw that I was still there, she kicked off! She couldn’t believe that my baby hadn’t been delivered and she could see I was in pain too and so she said I’d be next on the ALICE & THE MUMS | 20
list to go down. Finally, I was going to have my baby with me. By this point I could barely stand up with the pain, so they wheeled me down to the operating theatre in a wheelchair. I was petrified, they made my boyfriend wait outside while they prepared me for the operation. I sat on the side of the bed holding on to a pillow while they put the cannula in my hand and administered the epidural. I laid down on the narrow bed and the anaesthetist asked how I was feeling. I said I don’t think the epidural was working because I could still feel my legs, he asked me to lift one leg and I physically couldn’t, my legs were dead! I was expecting to feel nothing after the epidural but I could feel numbness which is what confused me, it’s a really odd sensation. My boyfriend came back into the room and sat by my head, I was so scared I was physically shaking and crying. There was so much going on in the room, so many people, each with their own job to do. As they started the operation, the surgeon was talking me through every step she was doing. She got my baby out and we heard her saying ‘come on little one. Come on. Come on.’ We got scared at that point but within seconds we heard a little cry and everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief and then I was crying again. Happy tears this time. They showed me my baby briefly and I gave her a kiss and they took her to get
weighed.We could see her across the room with her little legs sticking up in the air like a little frog as she was breach and her legs actually stayed sticking up for about 6 weeks after! They then gave her to my boyfriend and the two of them went into a different room while I was then stitched up, I think I remember about 2 or 3 people just watching what the surgeon was doing and one of the best things I could have heard in that moment was one of them saying to the surgeon how neat her stitching was! I went into recovery and had skin to skin with my beautiful baby. We moved onto the ward and because it was now about 12 midnight my boyfriend wasn’t allowed on the ward and had to leave which I wasn’t happy about. I laid in my bed unable to move from my hips down, I couldn’t pick up my baby from her cot but I soon forgot all about that as excitement kicked in, I didn’t sleep at all. I got one of the midwives to pass my baby to me and we just cuddled. It was now about 6am and the epidural had now worn off and one of the midwives helped me off my bed to put me in the shower. She removed the catheter which was full (I didn’t know I was even emptying my bladder!) and I had hobbled along to the shower. Adrenaline had taken over and I was now on cloud 9, besotted with my baby,
The pain I was in didn’t cross my mind as all I cared about was holding my baby close and nursing. I tried to keep on top of my painkillers to minimise discomfort but it was still painful, painful from the inside, sitting down and laying down is uncomfortable as your insides feel like they’ve been rattled up, it’s an indescribable feeling but they feel loose and wobbly and just not right. We stayed in hospital for 2 more nights, which I actually didn’t mind as I was getting lots of help with breastfeeding and the midwives were giving me these injections in my tummy to stop blood clotting. I was actually really nervous to be discharged from hospital as that was when reality would hit and I knew things were going to be different then. It was a slow couple of weeks while I was recovering, my insides just felt weird, I couldn’t sit on the sofa because it was too soft, I had to sit on a dining chair, even sitting up in bed felt too uncomfortable like I was going to damage my insides. I remember the car journey home from the hospital was horrendous, I remember shouting at my boyfriend to drive slower because my insides just felt like they were rattling around, I felt every bump in the road! Being at home I now had to give myself the blood clotting injections which I struggled to do as I have a real thing about needles and it also hurt, I had all these little bruises all over my tummy. It took a couple of weeks for me to start feeling more normal and for the pain to go. I now have a perfect little scar that reminds me of how amazing my body is to have carried and delivered the most amazing little human.
For more updates from Daniele & Amelia, and for info on Daniele's business, follow her Instagram accounts @dgc_v & @danielecerva ALICE & THE MUMS | 21
SKYE: BIRTHING TWINS By Skye (Instagram: @skye_jennifer_) So here I was…37 weeks and 2 days
My pretty and overly prepared bags were
pregnant with my identical twin girls. I was
packed and I’d carefully placed my
due to be induced but I had to wait
notebook and birth plan right at the top of
another 2 days until I would meet my new
my case for easy access. I was certain of
arrivals. After having my little boy 2 years
everything I wanted and for weeks my
(to the week) previously, I was hoping it
fortnightly scans showed both babies were
would be 2 girls we would be welcoming in
head down so a natural delivery was always
to the world. As our twins shared a
on the cards and I was quick to dismiss
placenta my husband and I were informed
consultants who explained some twin
at the 12 week scan appointment that it
mums wanted to schedule a cesarean
"I FELT FAR MORE NERVOUS AND WORRIED THAT I DID WITH MY FIRST PREGNANCY." was categorised as a high risk pregnancy. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis, (a
section and I could consider that option. But I was really looking forward to being
pregnancy complication which is
a bit more aware of my surroundings than I
essentially severe nausea and sickness and
was when I had my little boy. With my first
I had pelvic girdle pain in my third
time, after being in labour for 12 hours I
trimester.) Throughout my twin pregnancy
tried pethidine which unfortunately slowed
I felt far more nervous and worried than I
my labour. I was really struggling to cope
did during my first pregnancy, which is
with the contractions intensifying. I had
usually something I think most mums look
imagined a calm environment with
forward to in subsequent pregnancies-not
classical music, mood lighting, bouncing
being as nervous!
on a birthing ball and was hoping for a
ALICE & THE MUMS | 22
water birth.
Instead it was bright lights, noises from
single contraction. After my first experience
only equipment and being moved 3 times
of labour and giving birth all I could
to different rooms. I finally decided to have
remember was the contractions! If there’s a
an epidural after my midwives were
next time I would write a short list of
concerned that I was exhausted and
‘preferences’. All that mattered in the end
discovered that the gas and air I’d been
is that our girls arrived safely and in good
puffing away on for hours on end wasn’t
health regardless of it not going to plan.
working!
Eliza weighed 7 pounds 1 onz and Cecelia
I ended up being so tired I couldn’t push
weighed 6 pounds 4 onz. Life would never
and was taken to theatre for an assisted
be the same again, I soon realised that you
delivery. My little boy, was revealed to be a
could be prepared as much as possible for
healthy little boy but weighed a massive 9
labour and birth, but nothing would be
pounds 13 onz which explained why I
able to truly prepare you for your new life
needed an assisted delivery and
as a twin mama! Or a twin and toddler
episiotomy. Afterwards I hardly remembered it all and I wanted it to be different this time. All I remembered was feeling really panicked and worried and feeling like I had failed in following my birth plan. As a twin birth is higher risk, a water birth is not permitted at most hospitals in the UK. My consultants advised me to keep my
"I WAS SO TIRED I COULDN'T PUSH" birthing plan simple because an
mama in my case! Nothing scares me after
emergency cesarean section would occur
dealing with terrible two tantrums, potty
in 1 in 5 twin births anyway. Unfortunately,
training and two newborn babies all at the
when I arrived at hospital to have my
same time!
waters broken, Eliza turned and was lying
I’m blessed, so blessed, but nothing could
in a transverse position. I was rushed in for
have truly prepared me for this year… so
an emergency cesarean section. It all
make a birth plan but be confident in your
happened so fast and before we knew it
own abilities as not everything will be as
our little girls were with us and I was so so
expected during labour, birth and life once
shocked -I was convinced we were having
you’re home. You will do it. We all do it and
more boys! But it hadn’t entered my mind
we all grow, just as much as our little ones
that I could have my babies without a
do!
ALICE & THE MUMS | 23
A Beginner's Guide
THE BIRTH
TOOLKIT
Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”
MARIA SHRIVER
ALICE & THE MUMS | 25
Planning for Birth (In Hindsight) WRITTEN BY LAURA GRANT
ALICE & THE MUMS | 26
While I was pregnant I wrote a mammoth blog post over on life by Laura about why I think it’s important to have a birth plan. I was hoping for a natural, home, water birth in front of the twinkling lights of my Christmas tree. How picturesque! I imagined getting those early contractions and snuggling up to my husband on the sofa, all excited, watching Christmas films ‌ and what did I get? The exact opposite, a stubborn breech baby and an elected c section. So looking back, do I think researching birth and making a plan was a waste of time?
"Think about how difficult it is to make a decision when you're hangry... then multiply that by a million."
E Absolutely not!I may not have got the birth I’d planned for but I was totally clued up on all styles, my options and was able to make informed decisions. I knew what questions to ask and could better assess the pros and cons of my situation. This was in a large part, down to the hypnobirthing course I did online via the positive birth company and from reading Milli Hills positive birth book (both of which I highly recommend.) My birth plan not only included my #goals scenario but also options for induction, assisted delivery and a c section should these be needed. Personally I think it’s much easier to have thought about this in advance, rather than trying to think about it in the moment when emotions are high and hormones are raging! I mean think about how difficult it is to make decisions when you’re hangry… then multiply that by a million. A plan is also useful so that your birth partner can be completely informed and take over some of the communication for you,
should you not feel up to it. And of course when they need to be aware if you would like to be hand fed grapes and fanned with leaves like the absolute queen you are! (No request is too much, be bougie, it’s your last chance to make it all about you before the baby comes! We hear of too many women who end up having traumatic birth experiences and feeling out of control, I think this largely down to being uninformed and not knowing what on Earth is going on. Medical professionals asking you questions which you don’t understand, having decisions made for you. I think that if women took the time to do a little research, they would feel more empowered in their experience and have the best birth they can.) A lot of ladies decide to shut out the birth, choosing not to think about it and to just go with the flow and I totally get that! It’s a scary thought, it’s something we’ve never experienced before, whether we’re pushing a watermelon out a much smaller hole or ALICE & THE MUMS | 27
E
having major abdominal surgery. But for me personally hypnobirthing made me feel so at ease and actually excited to have my baby. Knowing exactly what would happen to my body, what options were available to me and when I should ask questions made me feel less helpless. And not going to lie… having a plan laid out made the organisational freak in me extremely happy! Your plan doesn’t have to be an extensive 5 page essay, in fact I discourage this ( no midwife will have time to read that ) but just a few things jotted down ( or you can use the icons Milli Hill suggests in her book which I absolutely loved! ).Do you want pain relief? Do you want to be mobile? Would you like a birth pool? Are you happy to be induced? Would you like baby to have the vitamin k injection or oral drops? Would you like to birth the placenta naturally or have the injection to bring it on quicker? Do you want delayed cord clamping? Immediate skin to skin? These are all things to consider and again, it’s easier to do this with a clear fresh mind than a split second decision in the moment. Research what these things are and why they're done so you will have an informed
"Knowing exactly what would happen to my body, what options were available to me and when i should ask questions made me feel less helpless." ALICE & THE MUMS | 28
opinion and won’t feel silly when being asked your preference.This is the biggest day of your life so far, reclaim some control, feel empowered and have the most amazing experience.Good luck mumma’s!
Introducing Laura Laura Grant is the brains behind 'The Tired Mums Club.' The Tired Mums Club is a mum-centred community that offers support and empowerment to mothers. There are online resources available on numerous topics, events and meet ups for mums to get together and share stories, and Facebook support groups too. The Tired Mums Club have just launched a VIP membership which offers local discounts and exclusives for members. For more information, please have a look at Laura's Instagram @thetiredmumsclub and website www.thetiredmumsclub.com
"I REMEMBER GETTING REALLY FRSUTRATED AT FIRST BECAUSE I KEPT FALLING ASLEEP, AND SHE KEPT HAVING CONTRACTIONS EVERY FEW MINUTES AND WAKING ME UP! THE REASON WHY I WAS SO INCONSIDERATE IS BECAUSE I DIDNT REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH PAIN SHE WAS IN UNTIL ABOUT MIDNIGHT, AND THEN I JUST FELT LIKE IT PROPER KICKED IN AND SHE WAS IN HORRIFIC PAIN. I REMEMBER EVERY TIME I LOOKED AT HER AND THEN HER MUM IT WAS HORRIBLE. I WAS NEVER WORRIED FOR HER . IT WAS FUNNY THAT SHE KEPT GETTING TOLD NOT TO BITE SO HARD ON THE GAS AND AIR. IN THE END IT WAS LONG. IT WAS TIRING- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT."
DA DS' COR NER
"EMOTIONAL." "PETRIFINGLY BEAUTIFUL" "THE FEELING OF BEING HELPLESS WATCHING HER IN PAIN."
"THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE." "IT WAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE LENGTHS THAT WE ARE WILLING TO GO THROUGH FOR LOVE." "LIKE LIVERPOOL THIS SEASON-THE WAIT FOR GREATNESS." "THE BEST DAY EVER." "ANXIOUS" "LIKE WATCHING YOUR FAVOURITE PUB BURN DOWN." "TIRED" "EASY."
WE ASKED THE DADS HOW THEY FELT ABOUT BIRTH AND THE DAY THEIR BABIES WERE BORN. ALICE & THE MUMS | 29
UNDERSTAND HYPNOBIRTHING By Faye Southey So you’ve heard of hypnobirthing, people are raving about it but you’re still not sure what it is….Well let me help you. First up, let’s clear the air and talk about what hypnobirthing is NOT. Hypnobirthing is not woo. It is not vagina whispering. It is not about being hypnotised in to walking around like a chicken. It is not about having a ‘perfect’ birth. It is not reserved for vaginal birth. It is not something you ‘achieve’. There is no right way to give birth. Every birth is unique and even birth is valid. SO, what is hypnobirthing then? Katrina Berry describes hypnobirthing as 'a proven method of birth preparation that can facilitate a calm and confident birth’. Hypnobirthing explores our own ideas around birth and how our subconscious plays a huge part in how our births play out. It is all about learning the science behind birth, learning about the mind body connection, practicing deep relaxation & self hypnosis, and arming yourself with an array of tools and techniques that will help you navigate a calm, fearless and positive birth. That’s right, you heard me; calm, fearless and positive! We are fed an idea that birth should be feared. That it is excruciating. That women are on the whole incapable of birthing their babies unassisted. Well I am calling bullshit. With the right preparation, knowledge and self belief, birth can be a positive experience whatever your circumstances may be. Birth is
ALICE & THE MUMS | 30
transformational, so let’s make it a positive point in our lives to remember…Still not sure? No worries, if the idea is new to you, it’s natural to be wary. Let me share with you a few benefits of hypnobirthing:• Hypnobirthing is for all birthing people, all births and all circumstances. It is accessible to everyone. It helps to reframe anxieties around birth, and particularly benefits those who have experienced negative or traumatic births previously. It is full birth prep that involves a birthing person’s chosen birth partner, offering a foundation of support and team approach to navigating birth. It offers pain management strategies that do not require intervention - side note: hypnobirthing is not about ‘achieving’ a painless birth, it is about working with your body to confidently and calmly manage any sensations or pain that you do feel. Women who have used hypnobirthing during their labours have been found to be less likely to require medical intervention. It can shorten labour. It aids prenatal bonding with baby.• Babies born to mothers who have used hypnobirthing techniques are said to be calmer, as they have entered the world
with less stress hormones involved. It is empowering, enriching and educational. And something that can be carried through in to new motherhood and beyond.
The V Hive hypnobirthing courses are full birth preparation courses, tailored to you. No vagina whispering. No promise of a painless or ‘perfect ’birth. But knowledge, tools & techniques that will lead you to discover your inner lioness – bringing your babe in to the world with confidence, positivity and calm. I am here for it all. Informing, empowering, listening, sharing, inspiring, laughing, crying, holding, guiding. With you at the centre of it all.
WANT TO KNOW MORE? FOR MORE INFORMATION ON FAYE AND THE COURSES SHE OFFERS, PLUS WHERE YOU CAN GET HOLD OF THE GORGEOUS 'MOTHERING HARD' PIN ABOVE, GET IN CONTACT OR HAVE AN EXPLORE ON THE BELOW: www.mamadotgang.com/thevhiveemail thevhive@mamadotgang.com www.facebook.com/thevhivehypnobirthing www.instagram.com/thevhivehypnobirthing
ALICE & THE MUMS | 31
Hospital Bag Hacks ALICE KING EDITOR Some bring a suitcase, some just a simple oversized
to size, so when you're stuck on the ward, you can save
handbag. I personally bought three weekend bags-
time and energy by simply grabbing the correct bag.
one for me, one for my partner and one for baby. Packing your hospital bag doesn't need to be difficult,
2. Bring as Many
and you'll be surprised at how much you can shove into an overnight bag. This is my far from perfect, but
Nighties/Pyjamas as You Can!
hopefully incredibly useful guide to packing a hospital bag- what you definitely need, what makes the wait more bearable, and what I wish I'd bought with me.
I made the mistake of only bringing three nighties. One, I wore to the hospital. I was sick down it. I got changed into the second and guess what? I was sick down it.
1. Baby's Outfits in Separate
Then the third I wore after my little one had come and I had bathed. I wanted nothing more than to go home in
Sandwich Bags This hack became viral a few years ago and has been making the rounds ever since. Honestly- it's genius. Let me explain. So you sort out your baby's outfits into piles, so vest, babygrow, perhaps leggings and a top, include socks and hat, and each individual outfit you put into separate sandwich bags. You label them up according
ALICE & THE MUMS | 32
another pair!
3. Leave Your Make-Up Bag at Home You. Will. Not. Need. It. We all dream of leaving hospital with perfect beachy waves and a contour, but reality is
that that isn't reality. Sure, Kate Middleton is absolute leaving hospital goals but for us 'commoners' stumbling
7. A Handheld Fan
into the passenger seat of the car aching all over is more realistic.
I went into labour in the height of summer in the hottest heat wave since the sixties. I needed a bloody good shower and the sweat was dripping off me. Hospital's,
4. Consider Luxury Bath
particularly rooms that are there to cater for our little people, are naturally incredibly warm. You've already
Products an Absolute Necessity
got a bowling ball attached to your stomach, you want to be comfortable, and the extra heat can only be
I cannot describe to you how disappointing my post labour bath was. I could barely climb in, when I eventually did the water was freezing, and my visitors
prevented with a cold flannel and handheld fan. Make sure your birthing partner holds it while you do the difficult bit!
were starting to arrive outside. Since then I've heard lots from mothers who invested in luxury bath products and
8. Think About How You're
got their partners to run them a perfect bath ready for the post blood, sweat and tears clean up!
Going to Feed Planning how you are going to feed your baby will make
5. Snacks, Snacks & More
a massive difference. If you are choosing to breastfeed, midwives suggest you do not bring any ready made
Snacks
formula as this means you are more likely not to stick with the nursing and to turn to other options. If you did have difficulties with breastfeeding then hospitals will
You'll need all you can to keep going, and hospital food provide emergency formula. This means you can save a isn't cheap. You might even arrive when all the coffee bit of space if you're planning on boobing it! stalls and shops are closed, so be prepared. Even if you aren't hungry, your birthing partner will likely be starving! It also helps when you reach the post-natal unit and you
9. Bring Entertainment For Your
realise you might not eat again for another 12 hours!
Birthing Partner 6. Phone Chargers
While you're busy doing the dirty work, your birthing partner (whilst around making sure you are okay,
It sounds really obvious, but in the heat of the moment, regularly giving back massages and generally being your mad rush of chucking the bags in the boot and biggest cheerleader) may have some downtime. Bring a breathing through those increasingly painful and gaming device, tablet or book for them. It might even frequent contractions, it's easy to forget one of the most keep your brain off the pain too! used things in our ordinary days. Forgetting the phone chargers leads to mishaps we just can't be doing with.
10. Don't Eye Roll... But Bring
No pictures. No way of informing the outside world your little one has arrived. We were super organised and bought a spare charger that we kept in the bag and I highly recommend doing this!
a Positive Mindset! 'Nuff said! Positive attitude equals positive birth!
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MARCH ISSUE
ISSUE. 2
NEXT MONTH: MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH EDITION
Self Care
We spend so much time looking after our mini mes- how do we look after ourselves?
Cover Stars
An interview with this month's mummy and baby
book worms
Girl power books to make you feel empowered
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