Spring 2020 by Just Between Us

E N C O U RA G I N G & E Q U I P P I N G W O M E N F O R A L I F E O F FA I T H Spring 2020

www.justbetweenus.org

Begin at the End to Start Your New Year by Catriona Futter, pg 14

Faithful in All Our Unknowns by Jane Rubietta, pg 22

26 Winning the Guilt Battle 28 6 Steps for Navigating a Crisis

32 Soothe Your Soul with Songs 1

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30 How Big is Your God?

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Welcome from the Editor

who He is. But most importantly, at the heart of God’s faithfulness is His great love for you and me. Deuteronomy 7:8 says, “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” Let that sink in…He is the faithful God, the keeper of His covenant of love to every single one of us. So as you leaf through the pages of this issue, I want you to realize that you are holding faithfulness in your hands. God has not only been faithful to you our faithful JBU family through the years, but also to our new family members who are about to embark on this faithfulness journey with us for the first time. We are so glad you’ve joined us! It’s my prayer that this issue will point you to God’s faithfulness in your life in new and deeper ways. Author Jane Rubietta kicks off our faithfulness year with her wonderful article, “Finding God Faithful in All Our Unknowns” on page 22. And we were privileged to sit down with JBU founder Jill Briscoe who challenges us to faithfully finish the race all the way home in “Faith Conversations” on page 18. Let’s take some time this new year to recount the past faithfulness of God in our lives and lift up our hearts to Him in gratitude, and to be on the lookout for His faithfulness in the coming days. May we celebrate our always faithful God! And we celebrate you our faithful JBU family of readers. Rejoicing in God’s faithfulness,

Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just Between Us for the last 30 years.

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New years and anniversaries give us a moment to pause and reflect on what is behind us. And my guess is if I were to have a heart to heart with you, most of you would have incredible stories of God’s fingerprints of faithfulness all over your lives. That is certainly true for my life and it couldn’t be more true for the ministry of Just Between Us. Thirty years ago, no one—publishing executives, sometimes our own team, and many others—thought it was possible to run a magazine with a handful of part-time staff with mostly volunteers (over 30 to be exact)! But here we are celebrating 30 years of ministry to women all over the world—you! Without God’s faithfulness which, by the way, we’ve chosen to be our word for the year, we would not be here. Without your faithfulness to us, we would not be here. When I think about how faithfulness is one of the characteristics of God’s nature, I am so deeply grateful and sobered at the same time. Grateful because the God of the Universe chooses to be faithful to me through the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between—even when I am unfaithful to Him. Because of who He is, His character cannot be anything but faithful to you and me. People let us down and we let them down, but we have an intimate God who never lets us down. How refreshing to know that there is someone who we can be certain will do what He says He’s going to do. We don’t have to wonder or doubt—even though we do at times. Everything He does is an outflow of His faithfulness—He’s reliable, dependable, consistent, and loyal. He will never stray from

www.justbetweenus.org In celebration of our 30th ministry anniversary, we will be giving you a peek into the past in each issue this year! Look for this logo.

Contents vol 30 no 2 S P R I N G 2 0 2 0

by Catriona Futter

by Jane Rubietta

How to Start the New Year Off Well What if you started with how you want the year to end, then worked backwards?

E N C O U RA

QUIPPIN GING & E

Spring 2020

H E O F FA I T FOR A LIF G WOMEN

the 26 Winning Guilt Battle 28 6 Steps for Navigating a Crisis is 30 How Big Your God? 32 Soothe Your with Songs

Soul

2020

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by Lisa T. Grimes

by Sylvia Schroeder

Losing at the Guilt Game Learn how to recognize and reject false guilt so you can be set free!

FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS call toll-free 800-260-3342, or visit our website justbetweenus.org. From Canada call 262-786-6478.

Stargazing Have you been standing on a promise, but things look worse instead of better? Remember life-giving power is released through faith in a big God. by Debbie W. Wilson

Riding the Waves Six steps to navigate the aftermath of crises with the ultimate life preserver.

org

G us S P R I N just between

tta, pg 22 by Jane Rubie

etweenus. www.justb

B egin at the End to Start Your New Year

Futter, pg 14 by Catriona

Faithful in All Our Unknowns

Finding God Faithful in All Our Unknowns How God interrupts our everydayness with His unchanging presence.

30 Years in Print ! A Time to Celebrate God’s Faithfulness It’s been 30 years since God took founder Jill Briscoe’s dream for women around the globe to be spiritually encouraged through the written word and made it a reality. Just Between Us has been a faithful lifeline and friend to readers in every state in the U.S. and in over 65 countries—and it has been a great privilege for our staff and volunteers to walk alongside you. What an amazing journey we have been on together—and all because of God’s faithfulness. Hours have been devoted to bringing you biblically based articles that God’s Spirit would use to refresh your spirit, challenge and uplift your heart, and draw you ever closer to God and His great love for you. We thank you, our dear readers, for your faithfulness to us, and your loyalty, encouragement, and prayers. We would not be here celebrating this incredible milestone without you! It is an honor to be your friend and encourager through these pages year after year. “Together we have shared in the blessings of God” (Philippians 1:3). Great is His Faithfulness!

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Contents

CREDITS Founder/ Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

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Editor Shelly Esser General Manager Mary Perso

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun Web Director Mary Ann Prasser Editorial Assistants Aubrey Adams Carol Becwar Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Jen Symmonds Danae Templeton Susan Vanselow

I N S P I R AT I O N Welcome Letter Joni’s Corner

Living on Purpose

Transparent Moments Bits & Pieces

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun Web Debbie Wicker Renewals Manager Nancy Krull Marketing Julie Santiago Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt Subscriptions Rebecca Loesche Julie Matthews Mary Richards Lin Sebena Software Support Rebecca Loesche Photographer Wayde Peronto/ Babboni Photography

Art Director Kelly Perso

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call 856.582.0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com.

24 38 18 FA I T H C O N V E R S AT I O N S All the Way Home Jill Briscoe is still walking in obedience to finish strong.

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by Shelly Esser with Danae Templeton 18

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F E AT U R E S

ENCOURAGEMENT

In the Process of Time Some of God’s greatest gifts are found in the waiting rooms of our lives.

The Homefront

by Lisa Elliott 24

Soothe Your Soul with Songs The healing power of music. by Terry Powell 32

Rooted in the Storm No matter the weather, God grounds our soul. by Kelly Fowler 36

Mental Health Real Faith

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Chronic Hope It Is Well

The Deeper Life

Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today!

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Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800.260.3342. From Canada call 262.786.6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2020 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA. We occasionally share subscriber mailing addresses with select organizations. If you would like your name removed from direct mail promotional lists, please call 800-260-3342 or email jbu@justbetweenus.org.

Soul Refreshment

Let’s make one resolution this year: to anchor ourselves to God’s grace. ~Chuck Swindoll

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.

This one simple act of beginning each day with God sets each day on the path of wisdom.

Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.

~Lam. 3:21-23

~Elizabeth George

~Jim Elliot

~Oswald Chambers

We’re most happy when we’re enjoying God and fulfilling His purpose for our life. ~Nancy Wolgemuth

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Joni’s Corner

heart-to-heart with Joni Eareckson Tada

Email me! response@ joniandfriends.org

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Visit my site! joniandfriends.org

God’s Idea of Good After I broke my neck in my 1967 diving accident, I refused to believe I was paralyzed. Doctors told me that I would never use my hands or legs again, but it didn’t sink in. Every time I prayed, I focused on walking again. To me, it was a good request. Jesus said so in Matthew 7:9-12, “If evil people know how to give good gifts, how much more will God give good gifts to those who ask him?” What could be a better gift than walking? I did everything possible to walk again. I worked hard in physical therapy, assuring my PT that before long, I would be up on my feet. I attended healing services and was the first to wheel up front to receive my miracle. I strained mentally to “make” my hands move. I pushed myself to try to stand, run, hold hands, or even hold a bottle of soda. I straightened up my spiritual act and began reading God’s Word more regularly. I prayed more earnestly, thinking, surely God won’t ignore the prayers of an insistent saint. You can imagine how disappointed I felt when, years later, I was still paralyzed. My hands and legs were still limp and useless. God, I thought, “You say in Psalm 84:11 that you withhold no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. When will I ever get back use

of my legs?!” I did not understand. God promised to not withhold any good thing. And to me, walking was a good thing. Then one day a friend said, “Joni, I want you to know that I think you’re pretty courageous. Your smile in your wheelchair tells me that God can help me get through my problems.” Her comment about courage resonated deeply within me. Something told me this was God’s “good thing.” I realized God wasn’t so much interested in healing my legs, but in healing my heart. God was interested in a deeper healing, and I discovered that His good gifts spoken of in Matthew 7 were gifts of courage and endurance. The Lord wanted to use my paralysis to cultivate perseverance, patience, and a deep reliance on Him—these are good things that will last for all of eternity. With that, I began to pray for a contented heart, settled thoughts, a mouth that didn’t complain, eyes that refused to envy others, and ears that stopped listening to the devilish lie that “one is better off dead than disabled.” In short, I began to accept God’s idea of what is good—a deeper kind of good. A very casual reading of Matthew 7 might have you asking for financial stability, but God may want to keep you leaning on and learning to trust Him. You may desire to marry, but God may keep you single and dependent on His grace. You might ask for a clean medical report, but God just may want to give you courage to face the unknown. These are the “good gifts” of which God is speaking in Matthew 7.

Over the decades, I’ve come to delight in and rejoice over virtues like valor, faith, perseverance, endurance, and peace that is profound, and joy that is unshakable. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade them for any amount of walking, and I would rather be in this wheelchair knowing Jesus as I do, than to be on my feet without Him—and without an ironclad faith refined by fiery trials. Yes, walking is a good thing. But a strong faith and happy dependence on God is so much better! Life is richer and far more satisfying when lived with a courageous trust in Christ. So, the next time you are wondering what good could possibly come from your trials, look for “Every good and perfect gift that comes from above, from the Father of lights” (Jas. 1:17). Rest assured, it will be a gift that will satisfy like nothing else can! Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder of Joni and Friends International Disability Center, is an advocate for people with disabilities, providing Christ-centered programs for special-needs families through retreats. She has also delivered over 100,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to disabled people in developing nations. Her new daily devotional, A Spectacle of Glory, contains fresh biblical insights from her battle with cancer and chronic pain. Joni also serves as general editor of the new Beyond Suffering Bible, a special edition published by Tyndale for those who suffer chronic conditions, and their caregivers. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif.

Ministry on the Go Visit a hurting or sick friend.

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Dr. Angie Ward is a leader, teacher, seminary professor, award-winning writer, and pastor’s wife. Learn more at angieward.net.

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Living on Purpose a life that matters with Jennie Allen

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Visit my sites! jennieallen.com ifgathering.com

You Were Made for Community Just before my husband Zac and I adopted our son Cooper, we went through “adoption training.” We had never adopted a child, so we eagerly drank in every lecture, compelled to get this right. All these years later, one lesson wound itself around my heart so tightly that I’ll remember it forever: “If you want your child to thrive, then make him or her feel seen and loved.” When that’s missing, everything around us seems to crumble into pointlessness and despair. We were built to be seen and loved. God Himself exists in community, the Trinity relating as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Three persons, one God. Perfect community. If God Himself lives in community, I would say we need it too. Yet we tend to regard it as a suggestion. When things get tough, we push it aside. Community is essential. The apostle Paul beautifully described this way of living: “If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (Phil. 2:1-4, ESV). You and I need to be able to seek out wisdom and insight when our own brains can’t sort out the an-

swers. Here are a few encouragements that may push you out of your comfort zone and help you find your people. 1. Seek Out Healthy People. Here is Paul’s advice on the subject: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” Follow me as I follow Christ. If you want to know whom to connect with in community, look for someone who is following hard after Jesus, and then ask that person to coffee. I didn’t say to seek out perfect people. Whole people. Healthy people. Does this potential friend of yours seem to be in touch with her strengths and weaknesses? Is she clear on the values that guide her life? Do you feel seen and valued when you interact with her? Does she listen well? Nobody is going to get this stuff right 100 percent of the time. What I’m asking you to look for is a pattern of progress here. When you’re looking for intimate friendships, you’ve got to start with emotionally intelligent friends. 2. Just Ask. Once you find a whole, healthy person, ask whether she’d like to connect. “Do you want to get a cup of coffee tomorrow afternoon?” “Have you ever checked out the hiking trail up behind our neighborhood?” “Do you and your husband like to play board games?” “Would you like to meet up for dinner before Bible study next week?” • Ask for creative input. • Ask for help unloading your car. • Ask for an afternoon walk. • Ask for advice about a problem. • Ask until asking no longer makes you cringe. That advice might just save your life someday, so I’ll repeat it for you

here: ask until asking no longer makes you cringe. 3. Say Yes. Even if you’re an introverted homebody, you can do this: every so often, say yes. If somewhere along the way you’ve become a decliner, then just for today, might you try on a yes for size? 4. Be All of You, Fast. Our spiraling thoughts of isolation threaten to keep us trapped in a place of self-sufficiency and shame, but vulnerability brings those to a screeching halt. So, be all of you right away, so that your friends get you—the real you. 5 . B o t h e r O t h e r s , a n d L e t Others Bother You. As acquaintances deepen and broaden into friendships, the asks can feel tougher. The stakes are higher now, and fear of rejection is a real thing. My counsel: go for broke. Likewise, to experience true community, you’ve got to be botherable yourself. Take the risk to trust someone with the truth of your life today. Yes, you might get hurt. Yes, you might feel embarrassed. Yes, it might be uncomfortable. But better the discomfort of a friend holding your hand and your truth than the discomfort of thinking you’re alone. If we want to approach life fully in the way that Jesus Himself encouraged, then do life together instead of choosing to go it alone. We weren’t made to celebrate victory or suffer hardship alone. We weren’t made to walk through the dailyness of life alone. We were made to reach out, to connect, to stay tethered. We were made to live together in the light. Excerpted from Jennie Allen’s new book Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, released Jan. 2020.

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Transparent Moments breakthrough insights with Anita Carman

Visit my site! inspirewomen.org

liever for help was a lack of faith and that we should instead pray for the Holy Spirit to help someone discern our need. I went to the Bible to ask God to show me if it was more spiritual to remain silent with our needs or if it’s equally biblical to ask for what we need. God brought to my mind Matt. 12:2-4 where Jesus instructed the disciples and said, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.” This Bible story taught me that God might instruct us to pray for a need to be met or instruct us to go and ask for help as a test of our humility and obedience. God does not always have to work the same way. How God leads us in one season may not be the way He chooses to lead us in another. We all are in training like Prince, and can too easily disobey. Let’s continue to seek God’s voice and follow it no matter what kind of distractions or temptations we find along our path. Anita Carman is the Founder and President of Inspire Women, an organization that inspires women across ethnicities, denominations, and economic levels to discover God’s purpose. It also funds biblical resources and scholarships to train women for missions and ministry. She has an MBA and completed graduate level studies at Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita is the author of Transforming for a Purpose and A Daughter’s Destiny. She lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. They have two sons.

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Lessons from my Canine Friend My dog Prince is a French sheep dog who when full grown will be over one hundred pounds. I never imagined when I started to work with a dog trainer that God would use this time to grow my maturity as a leader. Here are three lessons I learned from training Prince that have resonated with me. 1. Live to Please Your Master. When a dog sits on command, he may be sitting on the outside but standing on the inside. When Prince sits in a lazy way, he is slouched over with one of his legs relaxed and extended beyond the frame of his body. A true sit is when he sits in an erect way with both back legs tucked in under his body like a soldier who is standing at attention. A true sit is also when he’s not looking around but looking for my eyes. When he looks around it means he’s looking for a way to escape and is not truly obedient. An obedient dog looks for my eyes to get his cues from me. He lives to please the master. What a lesson this was to me as I assessed my own life, where I am the servant and Jesus is my Lord and Master. Can I truly look into the eyes of Jesus and know that I am doing exactly what He has instructed me to do? Can I be confident that I am earnestly obeying Him, and not merely going through the motions?

2. Obey Even When God Seems Distant. The trainer began with the sit command while he was standing right next to Prince. Then he put Prince in the sit position while moving away from him, beginning with being five feet away, then ten feet, then twenty feet. The idea was to teach Prince that sit meant sit, and he was expected to sit in that position, even when the trainer walked away from him. Again, I found myself thinking about whether I stay where my Lord and Master has planted me or get restless when God’s voice seems distant. Do I release myself and then find myself wandering around aimlessly because I have disconnected myself from what I last heard God say? 3. Listen for the Master’s Voice. The trainer intentionally invited those around the dogs he trained to put temptations in front of the dogs. For example, he invited those around him to call their dog’s name to show how the dog will not respond to anyone else’s voice. He invited some to put treats in the dog’s line of sight to illustrate how the dog obeyed the command to “come” no matter what temptations were put in his path. This live demonstration of what it meant to obey the Master’s voice was a warning to me on how easily we can stop following God’s voice while listening to the many voices around us. I was reminded to return to the Bible as my foundation. For e x a mp l e , I re c a l l a t i m e when someone was trying to persuade me that asking another be-

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Bits & Pieces

for everyday faith and life

3 Ways to Jumpstart Your Prayer Life If we’re honest, there are times in our relationship with God where prayer can feel flat, rote, or downright lifeless. Here are three ways to jumpstart your prayer life this week: 1. Write them down. Choose to record your prayers in written form in a notebook or journal each day this week.

Joy in Journaling

Words of Wisdom

Daily practices like journaling matter. There’s something about recording what we’ve learned that enables it to “stick” more deeply within our system and recall God’s faithfulness. So how can we start journaling and stick with it? Try these tips:

“We cannot let the difficulty of our circumstances define the faithfulness of our God.”

1. Get a journal you can take with you everywhere you go—it doesn’t have to be fancy. 2. Get a pen you like to use. 3. Simply write the date and write down what’s happening in your life, what verse you might be learning, or what God is trying to teach you.

~Lysa TerKeurst

“God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful—“severe mercies” at times, but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” ~Elisabeth Elliot

4. If you miss a day or two, don’t beat yourself up. But try to do it more often than not. I’ve found it becomes something that’s just a habit. Excerpted from the Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith web series with guest Max Lucado. Look for Max’s Happy Today: A Guided Journal to Genuine Joy wherever books are sold.

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2. Snap a photo. Start a collection of pictures of things, ideas, and people you need to be reminded to pray for. Each time you scroll through photos on your phone, in a scrapbook, or on the refrigerator, speak words of blessing and prayer over them. 3. Only use three. Limit the length of your prayers each day this week. Instead of using long-winded prayers, consider limiting your prayers to three words. As you distill your prayers to their simplest form, reflect on what you’re really saying to God and how much you are trusting Him. 12

Excerpted from churchleaders.com by Margaret Feinberg (January 11, 2019).

Write Us! Please send your short (250 words or less) snippets to: submissions@ justbetweenus.org.

N e w B o o k f r om Just Be t we e n U s

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HOW TO

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THE YEAR OFF

well Begin at the end. by Catriona Futter

This is not about guilt or shame. What is important here is who we are becoming more than what we are doing, and to understand that we need to know where we are starting from. So, as you reflect on how other people may have perceived and experienced you last year, what stands out about your character? Bring that to Jesus in conversation. Imagine you have gone for a walk with Him, or sat with Him with a coffee, and you are discussing the year ahead. Because we are not alone in any of this: we are fully known and deeply loved by Someone who wants the very best for us. As you talk with Jesus, ask Him: • Jesus, what are Your plans for my year? • How are You inviting me to address this aspect of my character that You are highlighting? • How would this change things? • What are You wanting to grow in me? • What is one thing that You are inviting me to surrender to You this year?

IMAGINE

end

T H AT Y O U A R E AT T H E

look good

OF THIS YEAR AND YOU

BACK AND

S AY: T H AT WA S A Y E A R . W H AT

happen

W O U L D H AV E

HAD TO

TO MAKE IT SO?

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How was 2020 for you? No, you have not misread that—what sort of year was 2020? Seems like an odd question to be asking given that 2020 has just begun. But imagine that you are at the end of this year and you look back and say: That was a good year. What would have had to happen to make it so? I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, believing that they generally only set us up to fail. However, the beginning of a new year is a great time to stop and take an inventory of your life. And the best way to start the year well is to begin at the end. There are two aspects to this—looking back to the end of the year that has gone and looking ahead to the end of this year. And as we do this, to ask ourselves the two questions I pose most as a Life Coach: Why am I doing what I am doing? and What is most important here. Self-awareness is key in understanding our motivations and deciding our priorities. Think back with me to last year. What was the year characterised by? Perhaps you had a good year, with celebrations, growth, good opportunities. Or it may have been a difficult year with hardships, poor health, financial struggles, or loss. Chances are it was somewhere in between. But as you think about last year, pay attention to the emotions that are surfacing. How would you describe yourself as the year ended? What words immediately spring to mind? Pause with God for a few moments as you reflect on that. Now consider all the people you connect with each week, in the various roles and responsibilities that you have. Be brave and ask yourself a thornier question: How would those people describe me last year? How would they have perceived you and what would their experience be of you in that role? As I think back to last year and my own roles, how would my teenage girls have experienced me as a mom—distracted, frazzled, nagging? Or present to them, encouraging, prayerfully supportive, fun? Would my husband say that I was disengaged, complacent, and focused on other things, or supportive, affirming, and cherishing him? As a life coach, was I striving and trying to run my business in my own strength, or was I surrendering to God and His will and timing for my work and plans? How present was I as a friend, daughter, sister? As a church member, did I focus more on what I didn’t like in the services, or did I come to church seeking to worship and bless God and encourage? As a follower of Jesus, was I content and joy-full, or stressed and busy like almost everyone else?

We cannot do this in our own strength—this is not about trying harder. It is important that we recognize our frailty and come instead to God in surrender and dependence, seeking His strength, His love, His grace, and His hand at work in our lives. Take some time to work through these questions, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and direct your thoughts. This is primarily about who we are becoming in the year ahead. Let’s consider next what we want to be doing. Go back to that question I posed at the start: What will have to happen this year for you to look back and say, that was a good year? What do you want the year to be characterized by? What do you want to do more of? Less of? Now of course, we cannot possibly know all that this year will hold, and some of what happens in our lives is out of our control—illness, unemployment, death, sudden and unexpected changes. But what we can control is ourselves: our choices and responses to what is happening to us. One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. I know that I so often get things skewed and try and control that which is external, but fail to control my own emotions and responses.

W E C A N S TA R T

steps

THE YEAR WITH ACTION

goals

AND SIMPLE

T H AT A R E I N

L I N E W I T H W H AT

GOD IS DOING IN

priorities year

U S A N D W H AT H I S ARE

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FOR US IN THE COMING

But we are the ones who choose how we use our time, how we respond to events that happen to us, how we prioritize what is most important. We choose what we say yes to, and whenever we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else. How do we make this practical and achievable? Perhaps this week take some time to work through the following exercise. This is a gift you are giving not only to yourself, but to all those you connect with. Make a list of the major categories of your life: significant relationships, family, friends, health, finances, work (paid or unpaid), spiritual and personal growth, fun and recreation, and home. For each category ask yourself: • What do I want to have achieved by the end of this year? • What one change could I make that will help me get there that I can start doing now? Keep it simple, specific and relevant. • What do I stand to lose by not doing this? What are some of the obstacles that are going to get in my way? As I consider this, what am I most afraid of? • Write down your plans, tell someone for support and accountability, and prayerfully and regularly review your plans, asking: why am I doing what I am doing, and what is most important here? In this way, we can start the year with action steps and simple goals that are in line with what God is doing in us and what His priorities are for us in the coming year. And finally, and most importantly, remember that God is in charge; we are not! The Sovereign Creator of the Universe, Immanuel God with us (Luke 1:23), He is the One who says to us: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me” (Matt. 11:29). What is most exciting about the year ahead is that we get to partner with Jesus! In John 10:10 Jesus promises us life to the full. As we envision with Him what kind of year we want to have, let us partner with Jesus to steward well who He has made us to be and to make proactive and intentional choices about what He has given us to do that align ourselves with that vision. Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach and speaker who is passionate about equipping people to discover and live out their unique, God-given identity and purpose. She runs her own business Equip for Life Coaching, offering individual coaching, team coaching, and speaking. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband and two teenage daughters. She blogs at http://equipforlifecoaching.com/blog/.

30th Anniversary Spotlight

A SWEEP OF DE U T I T A R G g thankful. about bein thing or two teach us a Lynda Elliott Melvin can by

en just betwe

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R 2019

Thanks to JBU a Message of Gratitude Sweeps the World!

gi might be brin was N After all, it “I’V E BEE I olyn , and Exactly a we frien d, Car Black Friwi whe n my HA PPY Rock on but it was It beg an t in Little around fro kfas the kled brea at hand met for n lights twin llite Café. a IN LIFE and gree Sate breakfast on day. Red ows of the omand wind ing line. Cust s Melvin too the door was a wait BEC AU SE cold hand re a.m. there Even at 8 chair. “The rubbing their kfast before in groups, an UP e a hot brea could feel ers stood clear,” he I MA DE ing to shar I r together, wait the stores for bargains. but it was most impo D into ays, I swarming MY MIN was born. t of the holid s the season excitemen s that spoil the cheery mother rais the usual stres fatigue. WH EN I laced with son. I’ve b and window, of anxiety with layers Y d by a large Jesus has a I were seate WA S A VER thing I am Carolyn and to drizzle outside. ing n dash begu be This is and it had re going to YO UN G groaned. “We’ bing my p “Oh, no,” I T the rain!” “I promise When around in MA N THA d Carolyn, next year, ” responde plates, I “Every year, t get into a frenzy the again!” I won’ I WA NT ED sed all over born th myself that myself stres elder find an ys ed but my but I alwa eye, I notic TO HEL P corner of my the window, making le Peop Out of the of the other side sidewalk. He was carraised ly man on the PEO PLE . , shelterully down woma his left hand several his way caref T umbrella in cing sity. Th and balan LIFE ’S NO rying a black from the rain, ath a thin gray she r ing himself right shoulder. Bene el shirt and his child AB OU T a plaid flann his head brooms on dressed in ected much coat, he was striped ski cap prot hed, WH AT s. A . As I watc help brown pant a red his eyes glasses cove aside to allow T DY and thick ed politely SO ME BO and stepp can he smiled by. stre couple to rush WI LL DO ren ” I asked. child that? his his o’s of “Wh several st in. He put YO U. R ms. He’s almo FO broo e “That’s Melv s on keep ge selling thos ha through colle seventies, but he keep IT’S ALL in his in he does it.” blind and t know how into the a ing on. I don’ the doorway cleared AB OU T ed through and L Melvin duck mers smiled rs hand, othe Waiting custo AT WH shook his restaurant. tafew A from him. ed quietly the way for as he mov need a lder N you shou CA “Do YO U asking, patted his e to , smiling and Spirit spok Holy the ble to table y?” Suddenly DO FO R broom toda rly him. n the elde me: Interview DY gized. Whe purSO ME BO I was ener I made a Instantly, our table, r, and I won approached I’m a write gentleman a ELS E. I said, “Melvin, you. I have chase, then me interview let t D migh ” der if you very special. LOV E GO ent. your life is mom a that h ght for hunc E ed and thou do a lot of AN D I LOV Melv in paus “I’ve been asked to ed. But this time Then he smil I’ve always said no. PEO PLE .” and interviews breakfor ” ay yes. I’ll say next Frid N in —M ELVI to meet the as if Melv on, ipati We set a time antic unexpected fast. I felt

Just Between Us magazine content has been rich and rewarding over the last three decades. Throughout our 30-year anniversary celebration, we will be highlighting some of our favorite stories that have appeared in the magazine, hoping to refresh your soul, make you smile, and take you down memory lane with us. In this issue, we are spotlighting a special story about an elderly man who had been selling brooms for 60 years. It has appeared twice in JBU, most recently in the winter 2019 issue. We asked the author, Lynda Elliott, to write a follow-up about Melvin Pickens and how God used JBU in amazing ways to help him continue his “Sweep of Gratitude.”

When we arrived at Melvin’s house, I saw that it was a very small, wood house on stilts in the poorest section of town. Rain had caused a flood under his house, but he had a wooden walkway across the water to his front door, so he could enter his home. I could see that he and his blind wife Dorothy had many needs. We did not have to worry, however, because as a result of the JBU article, people stopped Melvin on the street and bought all the brooms he could carry. Others called him and ordered his brooms as favors for large parties. One couple bought him a new refrigerator, just as his refrigerator died. People sent money. Another friend painted an oil portrait of Melvin, using a photo of him holding his brooms. Neither he nor Dorothy could see, but his children could. Our family took him food and cash. Melvin asked, “I have been a deacon in my church for 50 years. I have never had a suit to wear, or a white shirt and tie. Would it be okay for me to use some of this money for that?” Of course, it was! It is amazing to see the plan God had to use an old blind man who walked the streets of Arkansas and sold brooms, who could not read, write, or drive and who had never left town to send his message of gratitude all over the world via JBU! As long as he lived (until a year ago), people continued to buy brooms from him. One woman said, “I have a closet full of Melvin’s brooms that I have never used, but there is just no way to refuse to buy from him. Truly, Melvin left a sacred symbol of God’s love and care— red brooms and on many, blessings from JBU. I miss him. ~Lynda Elliott

To read Melvin’s story in JBU Go to justbetweeus.org and type in “A Sweep of Gratitude.”

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The week after “A Sweep of Gratitude” was first printed in Just Between Us magazine in 2004 ( just before Thanksgiving), a Jewish friend of mine suggested that we have a special day of sales for Melvin and his brooms. She asked Satellite Café (where it all began) if we could borrow their front porch and set up sales for his brooms. The owners of Satellite knew Melvin well and were happy for us to set up free coffee and donuts outside on their porch, even though they were selling the very same things inside! Many friends and I sent out emails to everyone we knew, asking them to come and buy brooms, also asking them to send emails to those they knew. Melvin was so excited, even though he never dreamed how successful he would be. The line of those waiting to buy a broom was early, long, and out of sight! We had copied JBU’s article and taped it to every broom and tied it with a red bow! Satellite Café was decorated for Christmas and we played Christmas carols on an old boom box! The atmosphere was very festive! By noon, Melvin had sold all of his brooms. We could hardly keep up with all the money! He asked me to take him home, because he was afraid that his neighbors would hear about it and steal all of his money.

All the Way Home Jill Briscoe is still walking in obedience and finishing strong.

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by Shelly Esser with Danae Templeton

faith conversations

She has countless stories of adventures in every corner of the earth, dangerous places she has walked into simply because God told her to go, so what choice did she have? She’s flown millions of miles even though she’s afraid to fly—and she’s never stopped walking in obedience despite her fears. Raised during World War II, Jill came to Christ as a college student while at Cambridge. She could never have dreamed of all God had in store for her. Looking at Jill, you would never imagine she’s struggled with paralyzing fear her entire life because of all she’s accomplished, but she’ll be the first to tell you that it’s only because she’s “done it afraid” that she’s done it at all! Born and raised in Liverpool, England, Jill’s proper British accent may be what first endears people to her, but it’s her sold-out passion for Christ that leaves people saying that after they’ve been with Jill they just want to be with Jesus. From the moment she speaks, you want to listen. Today, at 84, Jill has lived a lot of life. God has taken her on such an incredible journey—and it’s all the result of her faithful life-long surrender to His call. To many, through her speaking, books, Just Between Us magazine, Telling the Truth media ministry, or personal contact, Jill has become a hero, a mentor, and a friend, but she’s the first to tell you that she’s just an ordinary woman old and gray. She enthusiastically says, “I want to keep on so I can share the wisdom God has taught me through the years and continue to spread His Word far and wide, for as long as He wants me to.” Jill wants Jesus more than anything. Year after year, she has given Christ her all and has picked up her cross and followed Him all over the world because she loves people and the Lord she loves so passionately has told her to go. Always, she’s wanted to make a difference in the world—whether ministering to teens and street kids in Liverpool England, to women in America, missionaries and

pastors’ wives at home and abroad, women on death row, or millennials on college campuses—so she continues to go where God leads her. A verse God gave Jill through two different women is coming to fruition in Jill’s latter years, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come” (Ps. 71:18). JBU recently had the privilege of sitting down with Jill, the founder of Just Between Us, to talk about her amazing life and how much she desires to simply be faithful to the finish.

JBU: Where did you first get your “call” to ministry? Jill: I got saved! That’s “the call” for every disciple of Jesus. Matthew 28:19-20 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” That’s what we’re all supposed to be doing. The mission field is between our own two feet wherever we are today. My story is simple. I’ve stayed where I was put, gone where I was sent, and it has led me literally around the world. It won’t be easy. You know that because Jesus said to take up our cross and take it with us. We have to die to what we want and be obedient. Just say yes!

JBU: How do you hear the voice of God so you can be obedient? Jill: It often starts with a simple prayer: “Lord, what do you want me to do today?” So often it takes me too long to come to the Lord and just ask Him to speak to me. That involves listening which is hard. Would I hear His voice? Would He speak to me in a thought? How would I know it was His voice and not just my imagination? I have learned we hear God’s voice through His Word and by applying commands or principles in the Scriptures to our present problems or questions for guidance. What is more important than us speaking to God or Him speaking to us? Get up and meet Him early. Read His Word first thing. “Savior let me hear your call. Then make me ready to obey Thy commands.” Obedience has always been the key to my Christian life, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. I would have never left our England with Stuart and the kids to emigrate to the U.S., and beyond. 19

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PHOTO CREDIT: WAYDE PERONTO

Ask Jill Briscoe to talk about her more than 60 years of walking with the Lord and ministry, and her blue eyes sparkle.

JBU: Some people may be surprised that you make New Year’s resolutions. Jill: At the beginning of the year, I start praying, “Lord give me a word or an idea from You.” This past year, as clear as day, I got this picture of my cell phone and my Bible. I realized I had become addicted to my phone. I’ve always put it next to my bed along with my quiet time material. I began to realize, however, that the first thing I reached for in the morning was no longer my Bible but my phone, so I literally moved it to a different place so I wouldn’t be tempted. Out of habit, just last week without realizing it, I found myself putting it next to me again. I want the discipline and the hunger to pick up God’s Word first, not my phone. I want to be ready to hear God’s voice and I can’t do that if I’m letting other things, like my phone, become more important.

JBU: You’ve been frightened most of your life haven’t you? Jill: Yes, I’ve always been a very fearful person. Maybe it’s because of the bombing every night as a little girl in war-torn England. So how does somebody like me walk into difficulties and danger? Scared. I’ve gone scared and I’ve stayed scared. People often ask me, “Doesn’t God give you peace in those moments?” No, He gives me courage.

JBU: How do you trust God when He asks you to do things you don’t think you can do? Jill: You step out and do it scared rather than not doing it at all, because it’s what God is asking of you! God has said to me, “Jill, will you go on without the courage for me?” I can do that. Anyone can do it scared. Just decide— yes—I will do this because it’s the right thing to do. In those moments, I’ve had to leave my emotions outside and take my will by the hand and take the step of obedience. After obedience, I find the courage was waiting for me.

JBU: Are we all called to participate in some type of ministry or service? Jill: Disciples of Jesus are all called to serve. Ministry is loving people, helping people, serving people, and sharing the gospel with people. It goes on all over the world and on all seven continents. Old people and young people. Black people and white people. Wealthy people and poor people. Sick people and healthy people. Ministry is a “full-time 24-four hour thing.” An “I can’t wait to get going in the morning thing.” An “I don’t have time to sleep thing.” An “I can’t believe I have the privilege of doing this thing.” It’s “a hard thing, “a glorious thing,” a stretch, a reach, a “pulling you in every direction thing.” It is exhausting and exhilarating, an emptying of yourself and a “filling up to overflowing thing.” Ministry is an act of the Holy Spirit, a spiritual art that is for all of us—those of us who have grown up in the church and those of us who have come to Christ from outside the church. So don’t say, “But I don’t have any opportunity to serve. I have no training.” Start by asking God to show you the hundreds of opportunities that are right between your own two feet every day of your life from now on.

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JBU: Tell us about a ministry trip God used to turn your fear into faith. Jill: Years ago, Stuart and I were asked to a Wycliffe translation ministry base to speak at a conference where two missionaries in that country had just been kidnapped. Wycliffe had to bring all their translators and families from around the country to the base for safety as a result. Stuart said, “Jill, I’ll be going. It will probably be easier if you don’t come with me, but if God is telling you to come then you must come and not stay 20

home. Find out what God wants you to do.” I had two months to decide. I agonized. Even after reading a pile of stuff on the courage of famous people, I still couldn’t decide. But somewhere in the pile, I came across this little quote, “Courage is fear that’s said it’s prayers.” And I thought, “I can do that.” I can say my prayers, telling God about my apprehension. I decided if God wanted me to go, He would supply the strength. It’s being willing to do the right thing frightened out of your mind, if necessary because He’s asked you to. That trip was one of the scariest trips I’ve ever taken in my life. The only guard the base had was kidnapped two weeks prior to our arrival. Because we had to go through a path in the forest to get to the conference, a guy picked us up and brought us back and forth on a bike. The entire time, I did it frightened, but I’m so glad I went. Ten years later, we were in Japan. A man picked us up from the airport and said, “Do you remember me? I was the guy who picked you up on my bike at the Wycliffe conference. That week changed my life and that’s why I’m here devoting my life to missions.” God was so good to show me the fruit from that terrifying trip and step of obedience. I told the Lord when I got back, “I’m just a fearful person and will be until I get to heaven.” But I decided then that I would no longer let fear rule my life. I wanted to fear God more than I feared anything else. For me, fearing God meant that I would not disobey Him.

JBU: How does God empower us to keep the faith and finish strong? Jill: We need to keep putting our roots down deep by God’s River of life—His Holy Spirit. Life in the Spirit necessitates that you draw on His power and be refreshed by the Living Water of the Holy Spirit. It’s His Spirit who appoints, assists, and anoints us to face the faces of those to whom He sends us. We have to keep our eyes on Him because there will be enough faces to intimidate us, enough circumstances to discourage us, and enough insecurity for us to protest. To all of our whining, God will calmly say as He said to Jeremiah, “You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you…I have put my words in your mouth” (Jer. 1:7, 9). Calling, commissioning, and communicating will busy us with kingdom work and fulfill us. As we are careful to mind our minds as God minds our hearts, His work will be accomplished. If things are right when we are on our knees, they will be right when we are on our feet!

faith conversations

In those moments when we’re fighting our fears and whatever else holds us back, when we come unstuck and start to get God and life mixed up— when we want to lay down our cross—His compassions never fail. They will be “new every morning,” and great will be His faithfulness (Lam. 3:23).

JBU: How do we know what it is He wants us to finish? Jill: I look at Jesus. At the end of three years of His ministry, He could say He finished the work the Father had given Him to do, even though there seemed like there was still so much work left undone. It’s not a question of having time to do all the things you want to do for Him, but of having the time to do all the things the Father wants you to do for Him! When those things are done, He will open the door, and we can come home, but not before. As Psalm 139:16 says: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” God has written down that number for each of our lives.

JBU: What is the key to making it “all the way home”? Jill: To do my part. So, what is our part? It is first and foremost to carry my cross and not anyone else’s. And to live with a sense of “calling.” When we can look up to heaven and say with understanding, “I want Your plan in my life,” not mine, and we commit to a relationship with God that takes first place before all other relationships, then we will have begun to do our part. That relationship leads us to know the things He has in mind for us day by day! To finish strong—all the way home—we must nurture our relationship with Him, listen to His voice, and then obey!

JBU: Have you ever struggled with staying where you’re put until you’re done?

Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just Between Us for the last 30 years. Danae Templeton was raised on the mission field and was an intern at Just Between Us this past summer. Currently, she is a student at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Ill.

Shaken, drained, discouraged, sickly Tired and troubled and depressed, Glad the time of serving over, Now I could go home and rest. Soon I could return to family “Yes,” tomorrow I’d be gone, Sitting in the last hot meeting, I tuned in to what went on. Listened to my husband preaching, My, it was a great last talk, All about the call of Jesus, All about our life’s “faith walk.” What a great word for the students! Hoped “they’d” listened, yield their hearts, They were young, their lives before them, Now their turn to do their part. Time for prayers of dedication, I was tired, so late at night, Shut my eyes and wished it over, When a picture sprang to sight! Saw a cross alone, discarded Lain at rest against a wall, Who’d lain down such holy symbol? Who’d abandoned life’s “faith call”? Then a voice so dear – familiar, Asked a question – pierced me through, Who is it that you’re expecting Carrying it home for you? How could I lay down that crossbeam? How to think that no one saw? Who did I expect to lift it, Carry it to heaven’s door? “Jesus, Jesus, please forgive me, Carried Thou your cross for me, All the way to hell to save us, Help me carry mine for Thee!” “I’m no hero – special woman Just a lady, old and gray, But my cross, Lord, I will carry, Home, Lord, home, Lord – ALL THE WAY!” Spoke His voice so quiet – but clearly then: “All the way home, Jill; all the way, all the way home!” ~Jill Briscoe

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Jill: Of course. Especially on a trip a few years back to India. It was one of the hardest trips I’ve ever taken. There was a lot of unrest and killing and the town, Arisa, was on fire. A pastor and his wife and their nine-year-old son were on their knees being told to recant their faith. We were teaching young women and men at a Bible college who didn’t know whether their parents were dead or alive in a nearby town, or if they had been able to run into the forest to safety. The police were brought in to keep things “safe.” At that point, I had had it. I was done. I knew I was done but I sort of didn’t want God to know (laughs). I was finally going to be going home—home to the kids, grandkids, and my safe free land—forever. A week later, when it was safe to go home, Stuart was teaching one of his last sessions on taking up our cross. I thought, “Lord, I think I’ve done my part and done pretty well, it’s their turn now.” I bowed my head. I don’t get visions but I often get pictures in my mind. The Lord was on the steps of my soul and we began a conversation. “Jill, what do you see?” “I see a wall and a cross against it.” “Is that your cross?” “Yes. I’m done.” “I see that. Jill, who do you expect to carry it home for you? Then: ‘All the way home, Jill. All the way home. All the way home!’” The Lord said it to Peter, He said it to the first 12, and He’s said it to every simple, single, normal, ordinary person—including me—all the way home. Take up your cross, Jill. Die to your hopes and your dreams. Die to your ambitions. Die to everything else but Me. So I picked up my cross and told God again that I will go where I’m sent, stay where I’m put, giving it everything I’ve got, and will walk it all the way home until I see Him face to face.

All the Way Home

FINDING GOD FA I T H F U L IN ALL OUR UNKNOWNS

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How God interrupts the everydayness of our lives. by Jane Rubietta Most of us live an everyday, normal, very average existence. We experience disappointment, grief, laughter, love, surprise, and loss. We plug along, mind our own business, perhaps excessively, then in the middle of our tepid tedium, our world shifts. God speaks into the long run-on sentence of our life. Just so, God interrupted the everydayness of Abraham’s life with a simple command: “Go.” Abraham had never heard from this God. We have no record of his family carrying a gilt-edged family Bible from Ur, no ledger of family offerings or prayers. Nothing. Seriously? God just said, “You’ve never heard of me; no one 22

sang you lullabies about me. No ‘Kum Bah Yah’ around the campfire. Leave everything—your country, relatives, father’s household, the life you’ve been living. Everything that you base your identity upon.” If Abraham had a track record of God’s calling or provision or faithfulness, going might have made sense. He could have said, “Okay. This worked before. I’ll take this calculated risk, based on what I already know.” Except he didn’t already know anything about this God. Start your engines, here comes the miracle. Maybe the amazing feature of the finding and calling of

T R AV E L I N G MERCY Dear One Here’s the deal: I called you. I promised I will be faithful. What part of that Don’t you believe? And who has hurt you So much that it is difficult To believe me Or to trust me Or to follow me? I am faithful And I will be faithful, And I will not— Repeat I will not— Abandon you On the trail. So come with me, Follow me, To the land I will show you.

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Abram is that God found and called. But it’s bigger than one man’s life from four thousand years ago. This miracle is about us too. The God of the universe, who created heaven and earth, who broke apart the endless night with light and hung the stars in the sky, the moon for a nightlight, and the sun to brighten the day—this God speaks into our ordinary lives. Every day is an invitation to leave yesterday behind. To “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household, to the land I will show you” (Gen. 12:1). God not only speaks. God makes promises to us. It’s almost laughable, it’s so undeserved and so unnecessary. Did God need to reach out to us? The great God of heaven, the Creator of the universe, calls us from our insignificance and anonymity into relationship, into covenant, into meaning and purpose. This puzzle piece fits perfectly into the hole in our soul, that deep crevasse of endless emptiness. It answers completely an unutterable ache we experience, or try to avoid or satiate with substitutes—a longing for relationship, for meaning, for something bigger than our day-to-day plodding steps that go nowhere but in circles of insignificance. A longing for freedom from all the bondage of our past, our mistakes, even our hasbeen/almost-were success stories. This sense of futility and obscurity groans within us all. God’s voice penetrates our walled-in existence, transcending all the humdrum days of our lives. Still, how many cold nights did Abram lie wide awake under the night sky, chew his lip, and wonder, “Am I on the right path?” How often, in the heat of the day with its blinding glare of sun, did he squint and ask, “Really? Is this right?” How many times did he repeat God’s words, “Go to the land I will show you?” As many times as necessary to keep the wheels turning forward, to keep from returning to the people, the gods, the life he’d left behind. God said: “I will show you.” That’s a promise. Not an “I might” or “If I am in the mood.” Not, “If I can remember the route or find the map or care on that particular day.” God said, “I will show you.” A promise is only as good as the one who makes it. We trust our bank, and our bank fails. We trust our economy, and it collapses. We trust our leaders, and they slip into a moral black hole. We trust our parents or spouse or friends, and they disappoint us. But if God promised, then doesn’t that change everything? God is the bank that never fails. God is the economy that never collapses and the leader who never slips. But to imagine that we’ve never likewise been disappointed by the way God answered us, or didn’t answer us, would make us blithe liars. Or at least, people who rarely reflect on the difference between hope and reality. Or on the difference between what we believe to be true and our daily experience. Just to be clear: at no time does what we think about God or what we experience of God change who God actually is.

IN THE PROCESS OF TIME Discovering the gifts in waiting.

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by Lisa Elliott

It’s amazing how five simple words can change the way we approach life. Several years ago, a friend gave me five significantly life-changing, perspective-gaining, peace-attaining words as I was discerning God’s direction. These words come from Ex. 2:23, NKJV: “in the process of time.” “[In the process of time] during that long period, the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them” (Ex. 2:23-25). Meanwhile, back on the hillside, “Moses was tending his flock…and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush”… So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight… When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush” (Ex. 3:1-4). You may have heard it said that, “Life is not a destination, it’s a journey.” With that in mind, there are things that need to happen and pieces of the puzzle that need to be put into place in the process of time. The stage needs to be set and the players need to be where God wants them before the curtain rises. Events must take place that allow for God’s will to unfold in the process of time. A lot of things can transpire, a lot of life can be lived, and many valuable lessons can be learned in the process of time. Here are some of them:

GOD IS A GOD OF PROCESS (PHIL.1:6). God is a God of perfect timing (Eccl. 3:11). Therefore, let’s celebrate the process and trust in His perfect timing—waiting in excited expectation and anticipation of the things God wants us to be, see, and experience in the process of time. “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay” (Hab. 2:3).

IT CHANGES OUR PERSPECTIVE. Processing things that have taken place in our lives allows us to make sense of some of God’s ways that didn’t make sense at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. “Those who wait upon the LORD will … mount up with wings as eagles” (Is. 40:31). IT GRANTS US PEACE. As we come to terms with and accept God’s perfect plan, He gives us a peace that allows us to rest and trust in Him. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Is. 26:3).

IT HELPS US ANALYZE, REALIZE, AND PRIORITIZE OUR DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITIES. From time to time, it’s important to take inventory of our lives. “There is a time for everything

IT REMINDS US OF GOD’S FAITHFULNESS. As we take time to reflect on God’s faithfulness in the past, God gives us hope for our future. “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him’” (Lam. 3:21-24). IT ALLOWS THE NECESSARY PAUSE IN OUR LIVES FOR INNER HEALING TO TAKE PLACE, REST TO BE SAVORED, AND STRENGTH TO BE RESTORED. “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31). “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it’” (Is. 30:15). IT CAUSES US TO RESPOND IN A TIMELY AND GODLY FASHION RATHER THAN REACT TO LIFE’S CIRCUMSTANCES. “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near” (Is. 55:6). “And David inquired of the LORD” (1 Sam. 30:8). IT GIVES THE LORD TIME TO PERFECT US AND TRANSFORM US INTO HIS IMAGE. “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). IT TEACHES US THE PERFECTING WORK OF PATIENCE. “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (Jas. 1:4). “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Pet. 3:8-9). IT REFINES US. “In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Pet. 1:6-7). Lisa Elliott is a speaker and award-winning author of The Ben Ripple and Dancing in the Rain. She and her pastor-husband David live in Ottawa, Ontario. They have four adult children (three on earth, one in heaven), a son in law, and three grandchildren.

Ministry on the Go Purchase a gift subscription to JBU for a friend (justbetweenus.org). 25

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IT MAKES THINGS CLEARER. Microscopes make small things bigger and telescopes make large things clearer. Often we get fixated on the minute details of our lives rather than seeing the God of the bigger picture. “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps” (Prov. 16:9).

and a season for every activity under the heavens: A time to keep and a time to throw away” (Eccles. 3:1, 6). “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).

losing at the guilt game As you learn to recognize and reject false guilt, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find freedom!

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by Lisa T. Grimes

offers us that same freedom. We focus less on ourselves, have a more positive outlook, think more clearly, and enjoy life more. Second Corinthians 3:17 states “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

the abc’s of false guilt

To overcome false guilt, I’ve implemented these ABC’s:

accept authenticity

I’ve learned to accept my authenticity as God’s gift to me. Bronnie Ware, in her memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, shares the most heard regret while interviewing her patients: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Too often, we dwell on what we’re not—that’s tiring. To live our best life— not the one imagined for us or that we’ve fashioned in our minds—we need to embrace the way God individually wired us. This allows us to focus our energy on where we excel, not on our weaknesses. It helps us appreciate what we have, not what we’re missing.

we can’t wallow in guilt while resting in God’s peace; they’re mutually exclusive

build healthy boundaries

Give yourself permission to say “No.” We don’t need to attend every function our children participate in, volunteer in the nursery every Sunday, or prepare a home-cooked meal every night. Operate from a place of courage and confidence—not guilt—and don’t be shy about telling your coworkers when you have a family priority. “No” can simply be “No”—we don’t need to turn our “No’s” into confessionals. In fact, when we give too much information and come across as apologetic or seeking affirmation, we are allowing guilt to drive us. Realize working the most hours doesn’t equal the greatest productivity. Work smartly.

connect creatively

Being a career mom forces creativity to connect with family and friends. When our first son was young, my job included routine travel, so I’d occasionally take him along. From my trips, he was allowed to choose the city he most wanted to visit that year, and our family would find a way to make mom’s travel an adventure!

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If guilt and worr y were Olympic sports, I would be a gold medalist. I’d have defended my title for a few games. We know life is too short to be filled with guilt and worry, yet years of practice keep them around. Who wants more guilt trips? No one! But that doesn’t stop us from heaping worry on top of guilt for a toxic concoction that can poison minutes or hours on any given day. Consider the effects of guilt and worry—stress, decreased self-esteem, fatigue, and unclear decision-making. Why is it easier to identify these saboteurs in others? How do we stop this cycle? We’re going to be dealing primarily with guilt in this article. We need to first evaluate whether it’s true or false guilt. This can be tough, so there’s help. In Give Yourself A Break, author Debbie W. Wilson explains the difference. True guilt comes from doing wrong. God gave us consciences that “ding” when we sin, so that we can confess to Him and be cleansed. False guilt arises over things for which we have no control. It can also be placed on us by others as a result of not meeting expectations placed on us or even created by us. Some people try to lay guilt trips on us to make themselves feel better. Guilt never takes a day off. A British survey found that 96 percent of women feel guilty at least once a day and 50 percent up to four times a day. Satan wants us to feel guilty because it keeps us focused on ourselves. He wants us to feel guilty for being tempted, but being tempted is not sinning. When we don’t fall into temptation, yet feel guilty, that’s false guilt. Don’t count yourself guilty when you’ve done nothing wrong. Here’s something to remember: if I didn’t create the issue or cause it, and I can’t change it, cut it off or cure it, then I shouldn’t let it control me. That’s the problem with guilt—it likes to control us. We can’t wallow in guilt while resting in God’s peace; they’re mutually exclusive. When I feel guilty about something, like not working as late at the office as others, missing another soccer game, or speeding through my quiet time, I search Scripture for a word. Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” changed my world. I’m thrilled to say I’m no longer in contention for a medal. It only took one or two reminders—times a few hundred! God’s Word is truth, so when we apply it to guilt and worry, it works. A “not guilty” verdict in court offers freedom. Not feeling guilty over something we didn’t cause

riding the waves

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Six steps to navigate the aftermath of crises with the ultimate life preserver. by Sylvia Schroeder

When the crisis is past, it can hit you between the eyes like a rogue wave. I sat in the back row at church with my son and husband, glanced toward the exit, measuring its distance. My son stared at the river of tears washing my cheeks. My husband held my hand, but I couldn’t dam the flow. My daughter’s condition was getting better, but I wasn’t. When my daughter Charity was diagnosed with a brain stem lesion, we barely could keep our heads above water. We surfed from one crisis to another. When the storm abated, we looked at the giant waves we’d been through and sensed their weight on top of us. We felt like we were sinking with wreckage floating around us. Perhaps David felt that way when enemies surrounded him and his life was in jeopardy. “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into

deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me” (Ps. 69:1-3, NASB). After two years of medical institutions, everyone closest to our 26-year-old daughter was depleted in every way. Her husband and two little girls had lived with all the uncertainty and trauma. Each day seemed worse than the one before. Despite a turn for the better, complete recovery would not come as we had hoped and prayed. We breathed relief as stability began to return. Still, it seemed our feet spun in the air. When circumstances move past the crisis, emotions don’t necessarily follow suit. The experience had been spiritually challenging, yet deeply intimate, but our experiences needed an outlet. Emotions were raw, tears had no doors. They came and went, awake or asleep, no threshold barred. I feared them because I had no control. Weeping was as much a part of me as breathing. While I stayed near my daughter, my husband worked his job three hours away. “I can’t stop crying,” I told my husband over the phone. The crazy thing was, I really couldn’t. I went to sleep crying, cried in my sleep, and woke up from hearing myself cry.

“What if I die from not being able to stop crying?” my voice wobbled across the miles. Fear clutched my chest until it hurt. “Think about how much better she is,” he encouraged. Compared to the teeter-totter of life and death, things were looking up. However, in spite of deep gratitude and progress, I continued to unravel. I needed to gain a foothold, something to help me climb out of a pit, so deep and dark I couldn’t see light at the top. I couldn’t will myself into a better spot. My husband and children seemed to handle what we had been through. They adjusted to the losses and changes, but I felt like I would never be anything, but broken. Looking back, the process could have been helped by keeping these six steps in mind.

find someone to talk to

Processing grief and loss involves reviewing the details and digging into the mud, but verbalizing facts unravels the feelings underneath. Hospitals and sickness became my entire life. While our daughter stabilized, emotional needs I’d held in check were insatiable. I felt like my friends were relieved things were looking up, and I didn’t want to bother them further. I was drowning in sorrow and didn’t know where to turn.

admit your spiritual need to walk together

Satan is not a gentleman. When you are at your weakest, Satan strikes like a lion at its prey (1 Pet. 5:8). My husband and I longed for someone who had experienced suffering to walk with us, to let us voice the questions, doubts, and deep stirrings of faith without freaking them out. We had big questions and deep struggles, and they affected every aspect of our lives. Yet, in the darkness, God’s character revealed itself in ways we had never known. We devoured Scripture. We looked for someone who “got it” to disciple us through sorrow and growth, and point us to Jesus.

exchange the triggers

appreciate the need for sleep

Sorrow is exhausting. The amount of sleep we got didn’t match the necessity. Life had changed forever for us. We were worn out in body and soul, but the battle wasn’t over. Our inner person required more than a good sleep; it longed for hibernation and nurture.

get moving

Hospital life is not healthy. Hunched like an old lady in the hospital for months didn’t do much for my spirit or my body. Nutrition had little importance. Now, I needed to revitalize my whole person to bring vibrancy back into my life. I forced myself to take walks. I found it a precious connection with Jesus and the outside world.

expect it

I didn’t. My recovery took time. For two difficult years, I thought if my daughter would be okay, I would be too. It wasn’t that simple. Life is complex. Don’t be surprised by the long haul, know it’s coming. Count on healing. It too will come. As time passed, the residual effects tempered. In oceans of tears, we anchored ourselves in the Bible and held on tight to Jesus, our life preserver. Like a drowning person, for a long time, I found myself breaking through the deep waters for gulps of oxygen, feeling sun on my face, and then going down again. David, in his desperation, cried out to God with the humility of a person submerged, but the trust of knowing Someone was able to save him. He looked forward to healing yet to come. “Deliver me from the mire and do not let me sink; May I be delivered from my foes and from the deep waters. May the flood of water not overflow me nor the deep swallow me up, nor the pit shut its mouth on me. Answer me, O LORD, for Your lovingkindness is good; According to the greatness of your compassion, turn to me” (Ps. 69:14-16, NASB). In the aftermath of a crisis, when we expect to feel better because the situation has improved, we may be shocked to find resiliency is gone. In that place, God is still Who He claims to be. His lovingkindness is good. He turns to us in the greatness of His compassion. He is able to calm troubled seas. David declared hope. We can too. “I will praise the name of God with song and magnify Him with thanksgiving” (Ps. 69:30, NASB). Sylvia Schroeder serves as Women’s Care Coordinator at Avant Ministries. Mom to four, grandma to 13, and wife to her one and only love, she enjoys writing about all of them. Find her blog at When the House is Quiet. Like her Facebook page or follow her on Twitter.

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Everyone goes through grief differently. A friend suggested I write down every time something made me cry. My list hit 100 with lightning speed. Everything made me cry. When my husband saw that list, a seedling of healing sprouted. While he processed through music, it touched deep wounds in me. He sat long hours and scanned pictures of our daughter before the illness. Those pictures stabbed my heart like arrows. Together we searched for ways to replace sad triggers with hope triggers. We intentionally exchanged our hurt for praise. We worked to help each other process the grief, and it strengthened our marriage.

stargazi How big is your God?

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by Debbie W. Wilson

My teenaged heart awoke to God while lying on a dock staring at stars visible only to someone away from city lights. The smell of the marsh, the rhythmic lap of the river, and the chirping night symphony cast a spell that made me feel small, yet part of something magnificent. David surely felt this magic when he wrote, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Ps. 19:1). Abraham also felt it. “For the Scriptures tell us, ‘Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith’” (Rom. 4:3, NLT). Genesis says this happened while he gazed at the stars. Abraham had just defeated four wicked kings to rescue his nephew Lot, and he’d given up his rightful monetary reward. Perhaps he worried these kings would seek retribution. Or, in hindsight, had he been foolish not to take his fair share of the booty? Maybe he was just worn out from battle. Whatever his state, God understood and said, “Don’t fear, Abraham. I am your great reward.” Now, if God spoke to you and said He was your great reward, how would you respond? Would you bow speechless and amazed? Would you leap for joy? 30

Abraham said, “Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless” (Gen. 15:2)? In other words, “What I want is a son.” “What can you give me?” Whoa, Abraham. Don’t you know to whom you’re talking? His reply reminds me of the little girl who prayed, “Thank you for the baby brother—but I prayed for a puppy.”

God Cares About Our Deepest Longings

Abraham wanted a son. Did his frankness offend God? No. Abraham and God were close. Abraham didn’t need to fake a pious response. God understood his disappointments and longings. In fact, God had initiated the idea of Abraham being a father (Acts 7:5). God promised Abraham would indeed have a son who would be his own flesh and blood. Then God took him outside and said, “Now look toward the heavens, and count the stars, if you are able to count them. And He said to him, ‘So shall your descendants be.’ Then he believed in the LORD; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness” (Gen. 15:5–6, NASB). I picture a long pause as Abraham considered the starry hosts. Count the stars? Impossible! But Abraham continued to gaze into the heavens anyway. The cold lump of disappointment he’d carried melted as he watched new stars emerge. Belief warmed his core and spilled out in laughter and tears. Yes, he would become the father of many. The Creator, the One who spoke worlds into being, would do this.

ing

The Strength of Weakness

Not being able to get what we want with our own strength carries benefits. Abraham and Sarah couldn’t produce a son the natural way. They had to rely on God. Faith, not sight, kept their hope alive. Which is the greater challenge for God: To create a child from a couple past childbearing age or to change a sinner into a saint? To heal a broken bone or to heal a broken heart? Nothing is “too hard for the Lord” (Gen. 18:14). It doesn’t matter if your challenge is physical, spiritual, or relational; the God of Abraham has the power to create something new. As Abraham’s faith enabled him to have a son at age 100, our faith empowers us to “produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22–23, NLT) and to make disciples through the Holy Spirit’s power (Acts 1:8). Faith keeps hope vibrant when circumstances appear hopeless. Abraham’s faith grew stronger as his situation grew bleaker. It is as though he said, “Wow, God, this is going to be some miracle.” And it was. Our inability to gain what we want can discourage us or refocus us. If something I want is not God’s will, then do I really want it? If it is His will, then can my helplessness stop God’s power? Instead of asking, “Am I able?” we ask, “Am I available?” Focusing on being available instead of on being able plants my trust in His ability—not my own.

heavens glory skies work “The the

declare

of God; the

proclaim the

of his hands”

(Ps. 19:1)

Have you been standing on a promise and things now look worse instead of better? Remember Abraham and let your impossible situation feed your faith. Life-giving power is released through faith in a big God. Adapted from Little Faith, Big God. Used with permission. Debbie W. Wilson is a Christian counselor, coach, and Bible teacher. She helps women enjoy grace-filled lives. Additionally, she is the author of Give Yourself a Break, Little Women, Big God; and Little Faith, Big God (Feb. 2020; see ad on page 13.) Debbie enjoys a good mystery, dark chocolate, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

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Why would counting billions of stars help Abraham believe he would father a son? God gave Isaiah similar instructions. “Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing” (Is. 30:26, NLT). Notice the scene with Abraham again. “Now look . . . and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” Then Abraham “believed in the Lord.” Abraham began to count the stars and was overcome. Who was this who spoke to him? Nothing was impossible to the Creator of all of this. The New American Standard Bible says he believed in God, and God counted his faith as righteousness. The promise of a son was no longer remote when Abraham saw the size of God. The promise of great nations coming from an infertile couple was nothing to the Creator of the Milky Way. In the end, God took Abraham’s weakness and turned it into a staggering promise. Not one heir, Abraham—billions.

What has discouraged you or left you feeling powerless? Have you brought it to God? Maybe it’s time for a little stargazing. Impossible problems are no problem for a big God.

SOOTHE YOUR SOUL WITH SONGS The healing power of music.

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by Terry Powell

Again, the Holy Spirit employed music to soothe my soul. Tears clouded my eyes. Despite heavy rush hour traffic, my spirit had been ushered into the presence of God. For an hour, out-loud prayers erupted from me. One song spawned praise. Another inspired intercession for my grandson and for my two grown sons. Yet, another prompted me to confess. Admittedly, my heart had been dry for weeks. Although I had been reading the Bible and praying regularly, my recent times with the Lord had been brief and perfunctory. Each morning, I hurried to resume a major writing project. How gracious God’s Spirit was to me during the drive home, fueling my mind and heart with biblical truth through the lyrics. The front seat of the car became holy ground.

THE MINISTRY OF MUSIC Martin Luther, the catalyst of the Protestant Reformation, knew the value of music to sustain faith and help people focus on the character of God. He wrote, “Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest resource in the world. Music is one of the most glorious gifts of God, to which Satan is a bitter enemy, for it removes from the heart the weight of sorrow and the fascination of evil thoughts.” An emphasis on worshipping God through music stitches together many pages of the Old Testament, especially in the Psalms. For example, Ps.104:33 (KJV): “I will sing to the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.” Tucked into a psalm prompted by persecution he experienced, David nonetheless wrote, “My lips will greatly rejoice when I sing praises unto thee” (Ps. 71:23, KJV). In the early church, songs offered not only praise to God, but mutual encouragement among the believers. “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col. 3:16). Singing sustained Paul and Silas during a rough night in a Philippian jail. They had been beaten with rods, and their feet were fastened in the stocks. Yet they buoyed their spirits by “singing hymns of praise to God” (Acts 16:25).

EVEN WHEN OUR INNER TURMOIL MAKES FORMULATING A PRAYER DIFFICULT, HEARING A SONG, OR OUR OWN SINGING, OFFERS A WAY TO EXPRESS FAITH, AND TO SENSE GOD’S PRESENCE DURING DIFFICULTY.

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Scene 1: 6-7 Years Ago It happened out of the blue, as I strolled through the den. An unseen force suddenly penetrated my chest cavity, got a vise-grip on my heart, and squeezed forcibly until tears began flooding down my cheeks. No, it wasn’t a heart attack. It was the song my wife was playing on her piano in the living room. I couldn’t name the song, nor remember the lyrics, yet God’s Spirit was already using it to soothe my downcast spirit. I knew without a doubt that I had previously heard the song, and that its message had thrown a lifeline to me at a time when sea waves billowed, and I was drowning in sorrow. My eyes moist, my chin trembling, I walked to the piano and asked my wife Dolly, “What is the title of that song? Please tell me.” “The Anchor Holds,” she answered. “We’re singing it this Sunday. The choir sings it every year before taking a summer break.” The following Sunday, this reserved, non-demonstrative, Presbyterian worshipper stood up, held his arms high, and wept uncontrollably as the choir sang the stanzas and chorus: The anchor holds, though the ship is battered. The anchor holds, though the sails are torn. I have fallen on my knees, as I faced the raging seas. The anchor holds, in spite of the storm. Imagine...the Holy Spirit massaged my heart with a song, even when I didn’t recall the title or the lyrics! Scene 2: July 16, 2019 After his four-day visit with us, I drove to Charleston, S.C., and reluctantly handed off my eight-year-old grandson to his mom. As I began the 120-mile return trip, I turned on the car radio. Typically, I keep the dial on a sports talk station, but the signal wasn’t reaching that far from my home in Columbia. What I heard, instead, was a choral rendition of the hymn, “Be Still My Soul.” For the next hour, the Christian station played one renowned hymn after another: solos, duets, some by choirs—all performed by excellent voices. Among the hymns that I heard were How Great Thou Art, Like A River Glorious, and It Is Well With My Soul.

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A Christian blogger, Martha Hays, testifies to the help of music during difficult times. “Music that comes directly from the Word of God is medicine for the soul. God’s words can bring healing, comfort, and encouragement like no other, but pairing those words with beautiful melodies implants them in my mind as well as my heart. The words get ‘stuck’ in my mind, and throughout the day, in times of need, I sing the Scripture to myself.” Dr. Michelle Bengtson, who wrote a highly regarded Christian book on depression spurred by her own experience, adds, “Listening to praise and worship music helped me to hold on when my grip was failing.” At the end of each chapter of Hope Prevails (2016), she provides a playlist of songs that ministered to her during her despondency. My purpose is not to offer a comprehensive treatment of what the Bible says about music; rather, I want to extol its value for hurting people, whether the pain is physical or emotional. Even when our inner turmoil makes formulating a prayer difficult, hearing a song, or our own singing, offers a way to express faith, and to sense God’s presence during difficulty. When God’s people are hurting and praying is difficult, Christian music is a means of God’s sustaining grace. What we hear or sing reminds us of who God is, what He has done, and what He promises to do.

IDEAS FOR A PLAYLIST OF ENCOURAGEMENT

LISTENING TO THE MUSIC

Contemporary Songs:

Psalm 98:1-6 encourages us to sing and offers reasons why. Examine these verses and make a list of all the reasons. For this Psalmist, one thing that inspired singing was remembering past deeds of the Lord in relation to Israel. He has “done wonderful things” (vs. 1). He has shown “faithfulness to the house of Israel” (vs. 3). Right now, perhaps you are hurting due to physical discomfort, the loss of a loved one, or discouragement in a circumstance you cannot control. To counter this pain, look over your shoulder and rekindle memories of God’s past faithfulness to you, to your family, to your church, to your school, or to your business. How has He acted on your behalf? Find a song that has buoyed your spirit at some point in the past. Or ask a worship leader for titles. Then, listen to the music and sing along. By praising God in song for what He has already done, He will strengthen your faith for any current trial or stressor.

”Through It All” (Andrae Crouch)

Terry Powell teaches church ministry courses at Columbia International University in S.C. Additionally, Terry is an author and has recently launched a new blog on faith and depression: penetratingthedarkness. com—an excellent firsthand resource on depression. You can contact Terry at terry.powell@ciu.edu.

I realize that any list of songs that offer comfort to the hurting will omit someone’s favorite. Yet I’d be remiss if I did not give you some song titles that comfort during difficult times. Hymns: “God Moves In a Mysterious Way” “It Is Well With My Soul” “Like A River Glorious” “What a Friend We Have In Jesus” “How Firm a Foundation” “Great is Thy Faithfulness”

”Humble King” (Vineyard Worship) ”Blessings” (Laura Story) “Hold Me Jesus” (Rich Mullins) “Before the Throne of God Above” (Selah) “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord” (Matt Redman) Lyrics Based on Biblical Texts: “Oh God, You Are My God” (Psalm 63) Fernando Ortega “Hiding Place” (Psalm 32) John Michael Talbot “Lord, From Sorrows Deep I Call” (Psalm 42) Keith & Kristyn Getty “I’m Trading My Sorrows” Daryl Evans “Psalms” Shane & Shane (Volumes 1 & 2 of songs based solely in the Psalms) ~Terry Powell

Ministry on the Go Invite a friend to lunch or coffee and just listen. 34

Finding God Faithful in All Our Unknowns (continued from p 23)

God’s faithfulness doesn’t depend even remotely on the Q U A N T I T Y or Q U A L I T Y of our faith. God is faithful, R E G A R D L E S S of how much or how hard we BELIEVE. Sometimes we think our journey with God depends on the power of our faith in the One who calls us. But that isn’t true. God’s faithfulness doesn’t depend even remotely on the quantity or quality of our faith. God is faithful, regardless of how much or how hard we believe. Is the problem, when it comes to following after God in good times and hard, really our own fear of not hearing clearly? Or perhaps our own autonomy and desire to be the director of our own pathways? Our ability to leave and our willingness to follow depend on that final phrase, “I will show you.” If God could show Abram, then God can show us. We watch, and keep walking. On those lonely nights that throw hand-shadows of questions on the walls, flip doubt on its side and turn to God’s faithfulness. Rest there. Tomorrow’s another day, another Genesis, another beginning in the book of all our beginnings. Maybe it’s time to lace up those sandals. God’s calling and faithfulness haven’t changed, nor the invitation into lives of significance. How do we know? God promised. Excerpt from Finding Your Promise: From Barren to Bounty—the Life of Abraham by Jane Rubietta. Copyright ©2015. Published by Wesleyan Publishing House USA. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Jane Rubietta is a pastor’s wife and mother of three children. She speaks internationally and has written 20 books, including a four-book daily devotional Finding, set through the book of Genesis. For more information, see JaneRubietta.com.

Leave extra money at a coffee shop to pay for the next person who comes in.

If I’d been away, I would sometimes surprise my boys for lunch at school. I put encouraging notes, Bible verses, or cartoons in their lunchboxes, even when I was traveling. This simple gesture continued through high school, and if I forgot a day, look out! They and their friends were waiting to read what crazy cartoon I’d tucked in the lunchbox.

diffuse difficulties

Preparation is a good antidote to guilt. If you spend time preparing, whether for a presentation at work or for your family in your absence, you spend less time feeling guilty. None of us can be everywhere at once, but we can be prepared.

establish expectations for yourself that are reasonable

Think of some expectations you place on yourself and ask, would I place the same expectation on a friend? God wired us each uniquely, so the best daily expectation you can place on yourself is to seek God’s will. Be realistic. You’re not perfect, so set goals of excellence, not perfection. You don’t have to be the best at everything you do. Do your best and move on, sans guilt. Setting expectations with our children is also important. When we’re tired and maybe feeling guilty over something, we need to be clear and consistent with our expectations of them; otherwise, we confuse them. Has any other mom taken a guilt trip offered by their kids? When we accept these guilt trips, we establish unhealthy patterns for them and us. When a well-meaning older woman questioned me about going back to work after having our first child, it stabbed my heart. No mother wants to feel her choices are hurting her children. We all have examples of times when people’s insensitive comments have inflicted guilt or caused us to question ourselves. Learning to recognize and reject false guilt has set me free. I don’t like losing. But losing at the guilt game is something I enjoy. Want to compete for last place? Lisa T. Grimes is a Managing Director of Habergeon, LLC, co-author of Remember Who YOU Are, and CEO of PurThread Technologies. She serves as Board Chair of Knowing God Ministries, Inc. and Lighthouse Ministries. Lisa and her husband live in Cary, NC. They have two adult sons and a daughter in law.

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Ministry on the Go

Losing at the Guilt Game (continued from p 27)

Rooted in the Storm No matter the weather, God grounds our soul.

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by Kelly Fowler

aptly nicknamed for the way it caused the earth to quake like a herd of elephants stampeding over a savannah. The traveling shudder and thud now woke us at night, sometimes in rapid succession that sounded like overgrown artillery. My husband and I quickly synthesized political information in our minds that allowed us to know firmly that those bombs would not reach us and why. Our stomachs sickened at the thought of bombs hitting buildings, dwellings. Our minds turned to our children. What would they make of these nowclear war sounds? Could they understand that they were safe despite the proximity? Our older son asked about the noises and my husband explained the situation plainly, openly, and frankly. Our son received the information calmly. Later, on the lower level of their bunk bed, I held them in their soft summer-thin blankets. I sang hymns and we talked about their Syrian friends, Amir and Yusef. They’d shared many soccer games and afternoons playing “Memory” together on the simple rug in their family’s apartment. These friends were safe now that they were here in our town, away from Syria. I explained to my boys that it was the same for them. They were safe here. We prayed and I felt their heart rates through the thin fabric of their pajamas, slow and gentle. I held them up against my body, at rest in the storm. Earlier that day, lying together on our backs, I’d read to them from a book about two children, Siri and Erik, in a village in Denmark. During a time of turmoil in their village, they observed their mother’s calm. “As they crawled into their beds that night, Siri and Erik felt that God was strangely far away, but as long as their mother felt He was near, they knew He must be, for mothers always knew about such things” (Sticks across the Chimney: a Story of Denmark by N. Burglon). In the morning, we read Psalm 46 as they spooned yogurt into their bowls. My heart felt pierced. I knew my children now ingested David’s words about the earth “quaking” and about “nations in uproar” with an intimacy I struggled to accept for them. We turned our thoughts to the God who “makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.” He keeps trees rooted and dancing in the storm. We prayed together with new knowledge and confidence. Indeed, if my Father could make the trees dance in the storm, if knowing that could ground my soul, the same grounding could lay within my grasp, and my children’s grasp during a very different storm. The memory of those pines, swaying, ecstatic, and untouched by the wild rain, sent out a root system of hope and trust in the soil of my own heart. I knew I could pass this to my children in this moment. I knew I had awakened to witness those trees in the storm for a time such as this.

Kelly Fowler and her husband moved to Northern Jordan in 2010 and soon added two little boys to their family. Here, God has given them a great love for the people in their local community and a love for smoky tea and patchwork tent homes. They work with a small hospital that focuses on chest diseases where Kelly works as a nurse practitioner. Additionally, she homeschools their sons and spends time with women in her community.

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I woke one night to the sound of wind and rain. Living in the desert of northern Jordan creates a subtle constant thirst, a persistent hum of hope and welcome held out to all rain. This night, I listened as the wind capsized the heavy metal structure that held a neighbor’s porch swing. It fell with a bang and I began to worry about the trees. In addition to so many olive and stone fruit trees, our arid landscape also hosts evergreen varieties: scrub pine, cypress, and the rare cedar. Like the rest of the desert, they are always a bit dry and thirsty survivors. I pictured the browning tufts of needles on the cypress, the vulnerable upper branches. I wondered if the trees that flank our apartment might break and fall in this wild wind. I tiptoed out of bed, past my sleeping husband and little boys, to the balcony that adjoins our living room. Closing the sliding doors behind me, I stepped to the railing and beheld something marvelous. Against a sky backdrop the color of clementines, I could see the silhouettes of the pine and cypress and eucalyptus swaying rhythmically in the wind. I saw them dance in the rain, confident and anchored. I witnessed joy. Jutting pine needles and rattling diamond eucalyptus leaves flew in one direction and then arced in the other, playing in the gale. No branch cracked or fell. The trees made a spectacle of their own rootedness. Wet wind pricking my face, I lingered to watch and listen a moment, closing my eyes. I then padded back to bed. Tucking myself into the curve of my husband’s warm and slumbering body, I felt the deepest peace. I felt a bit like a little girl in her flannel nightie sneaking out of bed late at night. Uneasy about the unknown and the sound of strange music, she cracks open the large ballroom door, careful not to disturb or to be seen. There, she beholds a world she never knew, a world of swirling gowns and stringed music. She sees her parents, laughing and dancing, her mother’s bright silk skirts unfurling as she spins. Her father’s eyes sparkle. She tiptoes back to bed, heart overflowing and fears evaporated. She’s glimpsed a larger world outside of herself and that comforts her. Seeing the trees that stormy night felt that way to me. This stolen peek at my Father’s dancing and powerful secret world imparted to me a grounded wonder. Months later, sounds from another world woke us again in our beds, rattling our doors. They were not the sounds of a rainstorm. In an effort to complete the process of seizing control of southern Syria, the military had launched a bombing campaign just north of the Syrian-Jordanian border that lies 12 miles to our north. For more than five years, the sound of shelling in nearby Daraa’ reverberated like distant thunder in our little town at a fairly consistent rate—sometimes daily and sometimes weekly. The olive farm where we live allowed for louder reverberations as no larger village lay between us and the border, and no buildings absorbed the sound. The low thud was always subtle and distant, not recognized as bombing by our children. In the summer of 2018, the military used a new kind of weapon in their bombing campaign: “The Elephant Rocket,”

encouragement / the

homefront

Snapshots of Serenity by Pam Farrel

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Pam Farrel is a bestselling author of 45 books including coauthoring Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Bible Study Experience. She has been happily married for 40 years and enjoys traveling. Pam and her husband, Bill, live on a houseboat in Oxnard, Calif.

Visit my site! Love-Wise.com

My mother is a shutterbug. She has shelves and shelves of photo albums. Her love for capturing the moments of life and love, friends, family, and fun has passed down to me. Photography captures priceless memories. In this world of social media, cultivating your image, and sharing only the outside joys (and avoiding the inner pains) leaves little room for learning to process the trials, traumas, and tempestuous storms. We live in a broken world. So many days seem difficult, discouraging, and downright depressing. Life is often a mix of tragedy and triumph. It is easy to click, post, and share images of victory, happiness, elation, or adventure. However, when we take the time to learn to process the pain, through the peace only Christ can give, with hope and help from His Word applied to our stress and sorrow, we can find inner tranquility and share ironclad strength and a proven path to serenity with others. Our spouse, our children, and extended family also gain a better, stronger, more resilient, and calmer version of us! In our own life, the past few years of our social media captured weddings, births of grandchildren, birthday parties, family vacations, travel to exciting places, and a new home on our live-aboard boat slipped in a marina on the Pacific Ocean. Sprinkled among these are raw moments of fears, frustrations, and stressors like the almost two-year process of downsizing, giving away nearly 90 percent of our worldly goods and belongings, then riding a roller coaster of emotions trying to sell our home for over a year, so we could move to take care of two 90-year-old in-laws.

During these years, God foreknew my life stress and knew I would need to cultivate joy in a new city with the new role of serving elderly parents. Through Scripture I was studying, God handed me snapshots of Christ and as I pondered Him, I gained more personal peace, serenity, and tranquility that transformed dark days into ones empowered and enlightened by God. Take your pains and pressures, and process them through these snapshots of Scripture. Bolster your faith by reviewing the goodness of God when sufferings shatter your tranquility: 1. Look to the cross: “…fixing our eyes on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:2). When you feel you cannot take another step, retrace Christ’s last days, and gain strength for your next steps. Like Jesus, look to the victory ahead, and by faith, write the results you are praying for.

2. Look at what you have, not what you don’t: “We are

hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8). This could read, “You are in a vice grip of pressure, but it won’t flatten you; you are at a loss to make sense of it all with doubts, but not in utter despair, because God will give an alternative exit or reroute you; God is always with you; you have been thrown to the ground, but not

killed.” It could be worse! List what is going right. 3. Look to help others: “Praise be to…the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). List ways God has comforted or encouraged you, then pass these forward to another. 4. Look for ways to smile: “A joyful heart is good medicine” (Prov. 17:22, ESV). Laughter releases happy endorphins. Do activities that have brought you joy in the past to regain hope for the future.

5. Look for purpose in the pain: “Then Jesus went…to a place

called Gethsemane, and he said to them… ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death… he fell with his face to the ground and prayed’” (Matt. 26:36-39). Take an extended time away with God to sort out your emotions and find answers to questions, or gain comfort. 6. Look to friends: Pray for each other. “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (Jas. 5:16). What four friends do you consider your stretcher-bearers (Mark 2:3-5)? Ask your friends to pray with and for you. It is my prayer that these snapshots of Scripture will lead you to God’s place of solace for your soul.

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encouragement / mental

wholeness

Looking After Your Mental Health by Michelle Nietert

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Michelle Nietert has been a professional counselor for 20 years and owns a large counseling center in the Dallas area. Previously, she served as a crisis counselor for a large school district. Michelle’s goal is to provide practical biblical solutions for you by answering your questions regarding mental health.

Visit my site! michelleneitert.com

Q: I’m the caretaker of a parent who has Alzheimers. I have no time off and struggle to take care of myself without feeling guilty. I’m worried that I might now be struggling with burnout. What should I do? A: Caregiver fatigue is a real issue in our culture today. I counsel many women who feel stretched between their parent’s failing health and caring for young children or grandchildren. We live in a world that says, “Put your mask on first before you care for others,” but that seems to contradict the teaching of Jesus, who calls us to lay down our lives for others. Below are three practical ways to join with God and prevent personal burnout: 1. Jesus walked on this earth and did not answer all the cries of man but instead did the Father’s will. Protecting your time alone with God is never selfish but a necessity. 2. God has not called you to please others only Him, and that means it’s okay to tell your mama, daddy, kids, or anyone else, “No” or “Not today.” Recently, a client I’ll call Sara really struggled with her elderly mom, who if Sara told her no, used passive aggressive phrases like “I understand you’re too busy for me,” that played the well-developed guilt strings created in her since childhood. Sara and I worked on creating her priority list determining what were reasonable amounts of time she could contribute while still meeting the other demands and callings in her life.

3. You are not Jesus or anyone’s savior. Often I work with empathetic women, who feel that if they don’t do it, it won’t happen. They often need to let things drop so that others will be encouraged to help care for loved ones. In addition, a no from you might allow the recipient to look elsewhere, discovering unknown resources and alternatives. Q: A close friend recently lost a child to cancer and I’m wondering how to be supportive. I’m scared whatever I say will be wrong and might cause more suffering. How can I help? A: With our dynamic electronic distractions, people are experiencing less face-to-face connection in the church and their communities. Grief is so hard because what people need more than someone to say something wise is to be listened to without interruption. It takes more than a moment to create a safe place of vulnerability. People need someone to sit with them in their pain without trying to fix them or speed along a process that takes time no matter how strong our faith is, how prepared we are to lose someone we love, or how knowledgeable or experienced we are in the grief process. I experienced all these challenges when my husband’s twin sister died of breast cancer leaving behind three young children. Sadly, her husband had died of colon cancer two years earlier. I, too, needed help from a severe physical response to grief,

letting go of difficult family dynamics, working through a typical grief timeline of one to two years to process my own emotional stages. Q: I might be struggling with some symptoms of depression and anxiety. How can I tell what typical levels of worry are and when I need to seek help? A. As counselors, we look at two main aspects of mental health—frequency and intensity. I’d encourage you to evaluate your emotional struggles in a similar fashion when discerning when you need to seek help. For example, if you have a critical inner voice that attacks you once a week, I’d call that human temptation and let it go. If you wake up in the morning dreading the day, feeling flooded with negative thoughts and the hopelessness of things not changing, your intensity and frequency would be of concern. When I had my first child, I thought my level of worry felt different. As I work with women struggling with post-partum anxiety, we talk about the difference between worry and a mind that won’t quit racing which leads to a body that never shuts down, sleeping issues, and sometimes-panic attacks where your heart races and you feel like you can’t breathe. If you get to panic attacks or thoughts of death, please know the intensity and frequency of your struggles can be improved quickly with a quality treatment plan and possibly medical or supplemental intervention for a season.

real faith / encouragement

Texting My Mother-inLaw’s Son by Laura Sandretti

Visit my site! laurasandretti.com

I forget my 50-something husband used to be a 19-year-old son. He has fears, challenges, and struggles too and needs what every son needs. He needs to know he is loved, appreciated, prayed for, and believed in. He needs to feel, hear, and “taste the love,” just as much as our son Casey does. That’s when I got choked up. Not because I texted him at the right time, but because I forgot how much he needs it. It’s easy for me to encourage my son and be his biggest fan when he’s sick or struggling, but I forget. I forget my 50-something husband used to be a 19-year-old son. He has fears, challenges, and struggles too and needs what every son needs. He needs to know he is loved, appreciated, prayed for, and believed in. He needs to feel, hear, and “taste the love,” just as much as Casey does. Oh, how I’ve forgotten that. I see Chris as independent, strong, and steady. Sometimes, I subcon-

sciously think my compliments, gratitude, and encouragement will be received from him kind of, like when your mom says, “You’re the best, honey!” Sometimes, I’ve been so focused on my children, work, and ministry that I’ve failed to remember that just like there’s still a little girl in me who wants to be pretty and craves my dad’s approval, Chris needs voices encouraging, affirming, and reminding him that he’s doing great, I’m proud of him, and I’m praying for him. Maybe the Spirit is prompting you to encourage your motherin-law’s son today, too. Go for it. They’ll both be grateful you did.

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Laura Sandretti is a Christian speaker, author, and blogger. Laura just finished her second book, Imperfectly Perfect, A Devotional for the Transformed Everyday Sinner. Laura has been married to her husband Chris for 27 years and has three children. Laura’s books are available online on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

My son, who just started his freshman year of college, is sick. For the first time, Casey feels miserable, and I’m not there. I can’t make him chicken soup and ask him the infamously dorky question I always ask on the rare occasion when I cook from scratch, “Can you taste the love?” Instead, I’ve been texting him and trying to encourage him in the stress of being sick and traversing college. However, today, I wasn’t thinking about Casey. I was brought to tears thinking about my husband, Chris. Four years ago, Chris lived in Canada for his job for six months of the winter. In that time, he got the flu, missed out on our kids’ lives, and missed his bed, couch, and having home-cooked meals. That assignment was for the first phase of a project recently launched; Chris is overseeing the deployment. When I texted Chris that I was praying for the launch and for his leadership, he said my text was well timed. My husband is incredibly calm and unflappable. His pulse rate is usually in the 50s (or as I call it, “half alive”), but this week I think it’s pushing into the 60s. Chris isn’t only overseeing a national company-wide computer conversion; he is overseeing hundreds of people. That means hundreds of opinions, emotions, and all other things that come from complex, bright, amazing, difficult, and everything in between people. Chris texted me that he was grateful for my encouragement right when he needed it.

encouragement / chronic

hope

Marching Up to the Thing You Fear the Most by Adriana Hayes

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Adriana Hayes is a freelance illustrator, professor, writer, and speaker who finds joy in helping others discover how God can bring “chronic hope” into their lives. She lives in Brookfield, Wis., with her husband, Chris, and three daughters.

Visit my sites! chronichopeblog. wordpress.com or madebyadri.com

“How, can we trust When you say you will deliver us from All, of this pain, that threatens to take over us Well, this desert’s dry But the ocean may consume And we’re scared, to follow you... ~Lyrics by Ellie Holcomb “Red Sea Road” This song by Ellie Holcomb became my mantra over two years ago, when we started our journey as foster parents. It helped me formulate an answer to one of the most difficult, yet most frequently asked, questions: “How will you give them back [to their biological parents] if and when that time comes? My answer comes straight out of the Old Testament recordings of God parting the Red Sea and then after Moses’s death, the Jordan River, in order to allow safe passage for His people. In both stories, the Israelites set out on a journey knowing that an impassable body of water lay between them and what God had promised to them. I’ve found myself chewing on this particular portion…plodding in the dry desert…and what that must have looked like and felt like for these children of God. Did they whisper among themselves, “Is our leader (Moses or Joshua) building a strategy right now on how to cross the water when we get to it? I sure hope so. I have my children and my cattle and those things are too important to leave to chance. Maybe

we should try to gather a group to sort out another plan.” What about how they must have been feeling when they finally reached the water? I’m sure many were feeling too exhausted to even think about continuing. These were large bodies of water. The Jordan River was at flood stage with strong flowing currents. The nation of Israel is estimated to have been over two million people at that point in history. That is a lot of people crossing a wide expanse of ground and would’ve taken weeks for everyone to cross. How did they summon the strength to keep going? I’ve found myself returning to Josh. 3:15-16, as we get closer to the day we find out if these girls will stay in our family forever. It says, “Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing” (emphasis mine). The reason I keep turning to this verse is because I need to keep reminding myself that God did not reveal His rescue plan until the priest’s feet actually touched the water. He wanted to see that they had faith to walk right up to the seemingly immovable challenge ahead of them and then He showed His mighty power. Living with chronic health conditions often leads to knowing that daunting waters lie before us: surgeries, treatment plans, and longterm lifestyle changes. It’s tempting

to ask God, while we’re still in the desert, how He’s going to get us across safely on dry ground. In the past 27 months of having these girls in our family, I have cried out to God more times than I can count. I want Him to reveal to me how I will be able to go on if they don’t continue with us. However, God has remained silent. Yet, His presence has clearly been with me in this season of waiting, just as it was with the Israelites in the form of the cloud of smoke, pillar of fire, daily manna, and water from the rock. It’s been what I’ve needed in order to sustain me each day—nothing more, nothing less. However, He hasn’t provided the answer I think I so desperately need. He’s been showing me that I need to, in faith, march right up to the thing that I fear the most. Then, and only then, will He reveal His plan to me. It may not look like what I want it to, but I can continue on knowing that God will not leave me in the desert forever. He loves us as His children, and He will provide dry ground for us to walk across on. “We will sing, to our souls We won’t bury our hope Where He leads us to go There’s a red sea road When we can’t, see the way He will part the waves And we’ll never walk alone Down a red sea road...” ~Lyrics by Ellie Holcomb “Red Sea Road”

it is well / encouragement

...with My Prayer Life by Elizabeth Murphy

Elizabeth Murphy has been a soughtafter speaker for the last 15 years. She serves on several non-profit boards, teaches Bible studies, and is an author and regular columnist for JBU. She and her husband, Mike, have four sons and three granddaughters. They live in Brookfield, Wis.

I prayerfully understood this to mean that when I hear God in my prayer time, I need to pay close attention, listen carefully, and keep thinking on it. I do this by listening creatively. prayer time, I need to pay close attention, listen carefully, and keep thinking on it. I do this by listening creatively. First, by writing down the verses I am attune to and putting them in a place, I will see several times throughout the day. I often need to be reminded over and over what’s been said, (you can ask my husband about this!) and this helps me focus and remember. The other way I listen is to share insights and understanding with someone else. It’s sort of like talking aloud to myself. Something about the

words coming out of my mouth and back into my own ears using my own voice adds additional impact to the words. Writing a note or texting work well here too. I’ve realized that what encourages me, often encourages another and when I feel God’s power, compassion, and care for a situation in my own life, through the study of His Word and prayer, others in need come quickly to mind. Early morning texts are a great way to reach out. I also listen by asking God to show me what these verses/words look like in real life. This changes what I look at and look for as I go about my day. It serves the same purpose as an illustration used in a sermon or a book that make a point come alive. When I pursue the things of God, I find them. My understanding increases and my ability to respond and apply God’s Word grows. In Genesis 3, it says God was looking for Adam and Eve. He wanted to walk with them in the cool of the day giving the impression this was a custom of His, something He did regularly. I don’t know what those walks looked like, but I like to imagine there was understanding, sharing, caring, and maybe even laughing. This is the way it was to begin with and when I pay attention to the time after prayer, and listen creatively to God, I get a glimpse of the garden and it is well with my prayer time. 43

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Visit my site! espeaks.net

My husband and I were in a car accident last spring that resulted in months of physical therapy. Three times a week, all summer long, I worked at trying to get back to the way I was before the accident. Back to the way I was to begin with. I call it the summer of PT, physical therapy, or pain and torture depending on what we were doing each day! The sessions were restorative for my body, but there was a different kind of PT I discovered that is restorative for my soul, my prayer time. I am an early riser so the time I spend with God is usually before sunrise. I begin by reading the Scriptures using a reading plan that takes me through the entire Bible in a year. I’ve been a Jesus-follower for almost 50 years and have just now realized how helpful it is to read the Bible in a systematic way. Sometimes I explore other resources like Bible versions and commentaries to dig deeper and expand my understanding, then I spend time in prayer. All of this is working well for now but what’s not is the time after I pray. What I do with what I’ve heard, seen, and learned of God. In my reading, I came to Mark 4:23, “If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” I have ears but do I hear? Further study led me to The Expositor’s Commentary which says, “There shall be given over and above, not to those who hear, but to those who think on what they hear... the more a man thinks, the more he will understand, and the less a man thinks, the less his power of understanding will become.” I prayerfully understood this to mean that when I hear God in my

encouragement / the

deeper life

They Call Him Holy Spirit by Melva L. Henderson

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Melva L. Henderson is an author and speaker. Additionally, she is the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder of World Outreach and Bible Training Center, Inc. Melva is wife to pastor Ervin L. Henderson, mother of five, and grandmother of two. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Visit my sites! Melvahenderson.org, worldoutreachbtc.org

“If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever” (John 14:15-16, KJV). In 1991, I was a Bible college student working third shift as a hotel auditor. One evening, I was driving to work on a dark road when I heard a stern voice suddenly say, “Stop the car!” I was the only person in the car, but the voice was loud and clear. Immediately, I slammed on my brakes and within seconds, a train sped past in front of me. With hands clinging to the steering wheel, my body shook and tears filled my eyes as I realized what could have happened. While dating Skip, my now husband of 25 years, I met a man who could have destroyed my life. As this new “friendship” progressed, I decided to end my relationship with Skip. It was a decision I soon regretted. Over a short period of time, things in the new relationship began to shift in an unhealthy way. One day as I pondered whether or not to stay in this unhealthy relationship, I heard a voice within me ask, “Melva, did you notice you’re being pressured to compromise moral integrity in this new relationship? Did you notice Skip never pressured you in this way?” After a few more critical questions, I realized I had made the wrong decision and quickly ended the relationship. Space won’t permit me to share all the times the Holy Spirit has assisted me concerning my family, business, and ministry. He’s been faithfully by my side, providing wisdom and guidance just as Jesus said He would.

My grandmother called the Holy Spirit her “first mind,” but Jesus called Him the Comforter who would be with us forever. I studied the word “comforter” and found that in the Greek language, comforter is translated Parakletos, “one called alongside to help.” I also discovered seven attributes defining who the Holy Spirit is for the believer—Advocate, Comforter, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby, Counselor, and Helper. 1. Advocate. As your advocate, the Holy Spirit publically recommends or supports you. He allows the world to know that God is with you. By allowing His anointing and power to be on display in your life, He endorses you before men, angels, and the devil. 2. Comforter. In the natural, a comforter is something you can wrap around yourself to keep warm. The same is true of the Holy Spirit. When the world you’re in feels cold, the Holy Spirit is there as your covering. He surrounds you and supernaturally wraps you in the love, peace, and presence of God. As your comforter, the Holy Spirit listens to you and gets you through rough or troubled times. He will forever be there when you need Him most. 3. Intercessor. Although Jesus is your intercessor with God, the Holy Spirit also acts on your behalf. He prays the will of God through you when you don’t know how to pray (Rom. 8:26). He speaks to peo-

ple on your behalf, conducting negotiations when they are needed. 4. Strengthener. As your strengthener, the Holy Spirit provides additional stamina when you need it— spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. He’s your personal trainer and reinforcement. If fear or the desire to quit overwhelms you, the Holy Spirit infuses your heart with the power to stand strong. 5. Standby. As your standby, the Holy Spirit is ready for duty or deployment especially in times of emergency. You can rely on Him as a resource to move in the places you ask of Him. 6. Counselor. The Holy Spirit is also your counselor, He’s the one qualified and fully equipped to give you guidance in your personal, business, and ministry life. He has the answers for every social, relational, business, and psychological situation or problem. 7. Helper. By revealing the Word and heart of God, the Holy Spirit supports and helps you walk out this Christian life so you can be a powerful witness for Christ. This is who the Holy Spirit is in your life. When you yield to Him, allowing all He is to manifest through you, your life becomes an example of Christ to the world. Others will be drawn to you and God will receive the glory. You were created to live a life dominated by the Holy Spirit. When you step into that reality, you will find strength and peace like you’ve never known.

Bii and Pam Faael

Enriching and Encouraging Relationships

Best Selling Authors of over 50 books & international speakers www.Love-Wise.com

Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation (Required by 39 U.S.C. 3685) Publication Title: Just Between Us. Publication No: 1069-3459 Filing Date: October 10, 2019. Issue Frequency: Quarterly No. of issues Published Annually: 4. Annual Subscription Price: $19.95. Complete Mailing Address of Known Office of Publication (Street, City, County, State, and ZIP+4)(Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters or General Business Office of Publisher (Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Full Names and Complete Mailing Addresses of Publisher, Editor, and Managing Editor (Do Not Leave Blank): Publisher (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Editor (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Shelly Esser, Editor, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Owner (If owned by a corporation, its name and address must be stated and also immediately thereafter the name and addresses of stockholders owning or holding 1 percent or more of the total amount of stock. If not owned by a corporation, the names and addresses of the individual owners must be given. If owned by a partnership or other unincorporated firm, its name and address as well as that of each individual must be given. If the publication is published by a nonprofit organization, its name and address must be stated.) (Do Not Leave Blank.) Owner: Elmbrook Church, Inc., 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Known Bondholders, Mortgagees, and Other Security Holders Owning or Holding 1 Percent or More of Total Amount of Bonds, Mortgages, or Other Securities, If none, so state: None 12. Tax Status (For completion by nonprofit organizations authorized to mail at nonprofit rates) (Check one) Has not changed in the preceeding twelve months. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Winter 2018-Fall 2019. Extent and Nature of Circulation - Average No. Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 months: A. Total No. Copies (Net Press Run): 9,650. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-Country Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541. (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 8450. (2) Paid In-Country Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0. (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS: Paid Distribution: 48. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 386. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b (1,2,3,4): 8,884. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 128. (2) In-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 10. (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (Carriers or other means): 396. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d (1), (2), (3) and (4): 534. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 9,418. G. Copies Not Distributed: 232. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 9,650. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/l5f x 100): 94.33%. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Fall 2018. Extent and Nature of Circulation- No. Copies of Single Issue Published No.Copies Single Issue Published Nearest to Filling Date: A.Total No.Copies (Net Press Run): 9,300. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-County Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541 (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 8,642. (2) Paid In-County Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0 (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS Paid Distribution: 40. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 216. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b(1,2,3,4): 8,898. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-County as Stated on Form 3541: 123. (2) In-County as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 1. (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (carriers or other means): 190. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d 1,2,3,4): 313. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 9,211 G. Copies Not Distributed: 89. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 9,300. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/15f x 100): 96.60%. This Statement of Ownership will be printed in the Spring 2020 issue of this publication. I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete. I understand that anyone who furnishes false or misleading information on this form or who omits material or information requested on the form may be subject to criminal sanctions (including fines and imprisonment) and/or civil sanctions (including multiple damages and civil penalties). Mary T. Perso, General Manager Date: 10/10/2019.

www.justbetweenus.org/jbu-conference Jill Briscoe Main Speaker

Stephanie Seefeldt Worship Leader

Elizabeth Murphy

2020

Women’s

For every woman who desires to go deeper in her faith and influence others.

Emcee

hosted by

October 13-15, 2020

Forest Springs Camp and Conference Center Westboro | WI Register at www.justbetweenus.org/conference 45

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magazine and ministry

encouragement / between

friends

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way by Shelly Esser

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Shelly Esser has been editor of Just Between Us for 30 years. She and her husband have four adult daughters and two sons-in-law, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

Email me! sesser@elmbrook.org

Years ago, I took my 12-year-old daughter to the bank so she could make a deposit in her savings account. As she had not ever done it herself before, I told her how to fill out the deposit form and watched her do it. In the process a man next to us said, “I don’t believe what I’m seeing,” and went on and on about how wonderful it was that I was teaching her how to do her finances. As he left, he turned to us and said, “You two have made my day—you are doing a wonderful job!” I made his day? He made mine. Whoever would have thought that a little outing to the bank would generate such encouragement for my soul—and from a complete stranger? The whole incident got me thinking about just how hungry most of us are for a little daily encouragement in our lives. How often do we think or observe good things about someone, or their ministry, or their impact on us, but never take the time to tell them? Had this man never said anything to me, I would have just left from another ordinary stop at the bank. Instead he filled up my soul—and I didn’t realize how desperately I needed it until he spoke those uplifting words. Encouragement is a way for us to feed others’ souls spiritually. It’s that word, text, call, or note that says, “I notice you, I care about you, and what you’re doing is significant—it matters—you matter.” Especially as influencers, we need to be cheering on those God has put in our circles of influence. While

what we do is all about catching the look of the Master, I think what others do needs to catch our look. The apostle Paul certainly modeled this. I find it interesting that in the early church special agents of encouragement were actually sent out into the churches for that sole intent. In Eph. 6:22, Paul tells the congregation, “I am sending him (Tychicus) to you for this very purpose…that he may encourage you.” In 1 Thess. 3:2, Paul says, “We sent Timothy to strengthen and encourage you in your faith.” Paul had a great desire that the flock be encouraged and we need to have that same desire for the people in our lives as well. Their souls need it. Many of us are in positions where encouragement comes our way that really isn’t ours alone, but also belongs to our team. Whenever someone sends in an uplifting letter about our ministry, I try to send it on to our team members who have had a huge part in making all we’re doing possible. It can’t stop at the top—it needs to filter down regularly. In fact, Heb. 3:13 says, “But encourage one another daily.” How am I daily encouraging those God has entrusted to my care? That includes everyone—our kids, husbands, friends, coworkers, etc. The Christian life can be long and hard, and our souls get battered in the process. Overshadowing our

walk of faith is the enemy aiming his discouragement at us at every turn. Encouragement is our opportunity to fight those arrows of discouragement in other’s lives. So often we only hear the complaints, and after awhile those comments can level us. Why not look at what is lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, or excellent (Phil. 4:8)? Let’s notice the great things others are doing. We need to be generous with our acts of encouragement because others need it. I was having an email exchange with a friend not long ago and I ended my letter to her with a couple of sentences that I didn’t even think about. She later told me that it made her cry and lifted her soul. I was so surprised by her response. The Holy Spirit hugged her soul that day. Encouragement does that in a powerful way. It gives people the will to continue, and it provides the necessary hope and courage to go on. That stranger at the bank will never know how much he fed my thirsty soul. His encouraging words built me and my daughter up. He not only made my day, but my week! Hebrews 10:25 commands us to “encourage one another.” Whose soul does God want you to hug today? This article first appeared in the winter 2007 issue.

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Articles inside

Chronic Hope

Between Friends

The Deeper Life

Mental Health

Real Faith

The Homefront

with Songs

by Kelly Fowler

by Lisa Elliott

Transparent Moments Bits & Pieces 12

18

Joni’s Corner

Living on Purpose

Welcome Letter