Methodist Message: May 2024

Welcoming children as gifts

The Bible doesn't talk about 21st century family struggles, so what should we do?

MSM's Children in Worship camp teaches kids what worship is all about

Contents

Editorial Board

Adviser and Publisher

Dr Anthony Goh

Chairperson, Council on Communications

Communications Manager

Lynn Tan

Managing Editor

Alvin Tay

Editor

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors

Lucy Cheng

Janice Khoo

Tan Chiu Ai

Elliot Soh

Proofreaders

Kenneth Lee

Christabel Tan

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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/ Bishop’s Message / / News /

3 One MCS Holy Week services 2024: God of all nations

5 MSM's Children in Worship camp teaches kids what worship is all about

11 Methodist Preschool students design solutions to solve environmental problems

/ Feature /

13 Leading with faith: A journey in mental health advocacy

16 Methodist Social Principles: The Bible doesn't talk about 21st century family struggles, so what should we do?

/ Opinion /

18 Soundings: Welcoming children as gifts

20 Young Voices: A calling to teach the children of God

22 Is Qi compatible with the Christian faith?

/ Outreach /

24 No longer facing financial and emotional battles alone

26 Dedication Service for Little Candles Methodist School (Primary) held in Phrao, Chiang Mai

/ Relationships /

29 You & Your Family: Utara—Finding our true north

31 At The Well

/ People /

37 Sowing the seeds of faith

Children as God's gift

"Children are a heritage from the LORD … Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!"

Psalm 127:3, 5 (NIV)

Psalm 127 concludes in verse 5 by saying, "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of (children)" . It is clear that Psalm 127:3-5 encourages us to regard children as a gift and blessing from God. But we should not ignore the way the Psalm begins: "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain" (Psalm 127:1, NIV).

On the one hand, Psalm 127 encourages us to have children—a quiver full of them! Children are a blessing from God! (Singapore's declining birth rate encourages us also.)

But, on the other hand, Psalm 127 reminds us that no matter how much we labour and long for something, the outcome of our efforts depends ultimately on God. Psalm 127 applies this wise counsel (verse 1) to the blessing of children (verse 3). This wise connection is reinforced by the fact that the words for "builders" (verse 1) and "children" (verse 3) rhyme in the Hebrew language (bonim, banim).

We pray and plan for the gift of children, but always remain content to trust in the Lord's timing and decision. For "children are a heritage from the LORD …" but "unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain."

Certificate in Christian Worship 2024

5 Saturdays, June to October* 9am to 12pm

Course fees: $327 per participant (incl. GST)

Register below or at bit.ly/ msm_ccw24 by 3 June.

A course for worship leaders and teams to gain practical insights and skills to enrich worship experiences, lead with purpose, and navigate contemporary challenges in the worship ministry.

*22 Jun \ 27 Jul \ 24 Aug \ 21 Sep \ 26 Oct

(right) TRAC representatives led in a time of contemporary worship on Holy Wednesday

(bottom right)

The three AC Presidents and Bishop used four languages for the Benediction with Bishop praying in Greek on the first two nights and in Hebrew on Holy Wednesday

ONE MCS HOLY WEEK SERVICES 2024:

God of all nations

Holy Week services took on a different approach this year with the services of the first three days conducted under One MCS, helmed by the three Annual Conferences from 25 to 27 March. Local Conferences did not conduct services on these days and instead encouraged members to attend the One MCS services.

The multilingual services were held at Toa Payoh Methodist Church (TPMC) in person and also livestreamed. On average, 359 persons attended in person while about 727 unique views were recorded online over each of the three nights. Notably, several in-person attendees were not from the Methodist community.

Over the three services, Bishop Dr Gordon Wong shared reflections on Isaiah 56-58, titling his sermons "God of All the Nations", "God of the Crushed in Spirit" and "God of the Hungry".

On Holy Monday, Bishop reminded us from Isaiah 56:7 to welcome "foreigners" into the

house of God regardless of their background or whether they had been baptised. He also challenged us to think about the ways we could receive the people around us that might feel excluded in church. He raised the examples of two churches that had made their "houses" more accessible. One had placed coffee machines and facilities on the entry level of the church premises for anyone to use, while another hosted singalongs with prayer.

On Holy Tuesday, Bishop took us through Isaiah 57:15-19, expounding on how our God is holy and righteous and sits with "the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit" . Just as John Wesley, the founder

of Methodism, said in his sermon "On Zeal", to "relieve the distress of our neighbour, whether in body or soul" was a hallmark of Christian godliness, Bishop encouraged congregants to do likewise. Bishop, who is the patron of Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), highlighted the work of the MWS Family Development Programme (FDP), which supports lowerincome families in getting out of debt and building their assets by transforming their attitudes and habits towards their finances. A booth was opened at TPMC on Tuesday for anyone who felt moved to support the FDP.

On Holy Wednesday, also known as Spy Wednesday, Bishop told the story of Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Even Judas, a close disciple and friend of Jesus for three years, could be tempted to betray Jesus. The congregation was reminded to check if we were betraying our God by committing the wrong actions because of our imperfect understanding of the Bible.

Bishop reminded us that "our God is the God of the Bible who is a God of all nations" and prayed that God would "save us all this Holy Week as we fix our hope on Jesus who was crucified and died but rose again for everyone".

Eden Lok worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church and serves in the Children's Ministry and Youth Ministry (Youthphoria). He captains the 33rd Juniors Boys' Brigade company and is currently pursuing a Bachelor in Early Childhood Education / Photos courtesy of Eden Lok

MSM's

Children in Worship

camp teaches kids what worship is all about

"Worship is an expression of reverence, obedience and gratitude towards God; it is about praising and serving the Almighty God every day. Ultimately, worshipping God is about wholeheartedly seeking to glorify and honour him for all that he has done."

This reflection was shared by 12-year-old Sahana Lenin, a participant at the Children in Worship (CIW) camp that took place during the March school holidays. The two-day camp, organised by the Methodist School of Music (MSM), is targeted at primary school-aged children, and part of a monthly programme that runs throughout the year.

The camp is not like other vacation Bible schools or regular church camps, for its objectives are wholly focused on Christian worship—teaching the right posture of worship, from a position of obedience, in a safe environment of fellowship. But more than that, CIW seeks to gather children who worship in Methodist churches across the three Annual Conferences and raise a generation of children in unity.

The 41 participants, ranging in ages from 6 to 12, will be equipped in the year-long cultivation of disciplines such as praying, giving thanks, seeking forgiveness, and journalling. With milestones dotting the calendar—including an exhortative

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)

Mr Christopher Hayward

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education

• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8 7 : 1

• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups

• Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Achievements include

• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP

• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore

• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities

• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

(right)

Ann Palaruan demonstrates dance movements

(far right)

Amelia Leo leads the children through a time of pondering about what it means to worship on Sundays and in our daily life

(bottom) Children co-creating a rhythm gleefully with musical notes, symbols and word syllables

Learning to write simple tunes

dedication at Aldersgate Sunday in May and equipping at the Worship Symposium run by MSM in September—these children will get to try their hand at preparing the liturgy of the CIW Closing Service in November.

Returning for the second year of CIW, Sahana, who worships at Seletar Tamil Methodist Church, said, "The CIW camp has been a very eventful experience for me. Not only did the camp change my perspective towards worship, but it also helped me to understand the true meaning of worshipping God."

The children began each day with a time of preparation, seeking an understanding of worship. With a heart filled with praise, the song of preparation was sung:

Come into God’s presence saying Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

In the immersive gamified programme, children were thrilled to be presented with an adventure map designed to chart their discoveries in the four domains of melody and singing, movement, rhythm and global music. Landscapes depicted in the game segments brought attention to the heartfelt worship of a glorious God, inspired by Psalm 98:7-8, "Let the sea roar, and all that fills it; the world and those who dwell in it! Let the rivers clap their hands; let the hills sing for joy together."

To teach rhythm, animal names were integrated with musical notation and brought to life a "Rhythmic Zoo". It made for a dynamic and humourous encounter that all the children loved.

Then the children were immersed in a whole-body experience, engaging in a repertoire of dance movements led by Ann Palaruan, an experienced liturgical choreographer. The excitement and jovial exhilaration reverberated in the waves of laughter as children moved to music.

The singing segment included the scientific exploration of diaphragm muscles in choral breathing, with the children testing out the range of their vocal abilities. The global music segment saw the children play with percussion instruments from around the globe, and, were able to perform an instrumental piece within 30 minutes of instruction!

Mithilesh Saravanan, 12, from Seletar Tamil Methodist Church, who participated in the camp with his sister and cousins, said, "We learnt how to worship God by singing praises and playing various musical instruments. I also learnt how to create a new song for God and presented it in the camp. The experience enabled me to feel God’s love in my heart and get closer to him spiritually."

A choral finale

The camp culminated in a resounding choral item, containing liturgical elements of praise, prayer, proclamation and promise curated from the four groups. They admired the many parts of rhythm, lyrics and melody of the final product.

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands!

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good! Create in me a clean heart, O God! We sing, we share, we serve, and care!

Sahana concluded, "To cultivate a heart of worship in God, we must read the Bible and pray regularly." Indeed this is true not just for these children, but for all children of God.

graphic novel JOHN WESLEY

Methodists worldwide celebrate Aldersgate Day on 24 May to commemorate the turning point in John Wesley’s life and ministry in 1738, where he felt his heart “strangely warmed”. The graphic novel—John Wesley: The World, My Parish—tells the story of his life in a different yet relatable way.

Get yours today!

This month, buy two copies of the John Wesley graphic novel at $40 and you will receive a complimentary 12-month Methodist Message (MM) subscription worth $30. Promo ends 31 May 2024.

News Chan Yuey Sum is the Senior Manager (Marketing and Promotion) at Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd (MPSPL). / Photos courtesy of MPSPL

Methodist Preschool students design solutions to solve environmental problems

Solving

TA little help from a teacher

Little innovators creating their prototype

Ideas are sketched first

oday's preschoolers are growing up amidst pressing environmental challenges like climate change and pollution. Equipping them with the knowledge, skills and mindsets to navigate such a complex landscape is crucial for their future and the planet's well-being.

Mr Roland Tan, Executive Director of Methodist Preschool Services (MPS) said, "We believe that teaching preschoolers about climate change is crucial because it instils early awareness and understanding of environmental issues, fostering a sense of responsibility and stewardship for the environment from a young age. Early education also empowers children to become informed advocates and changemakers for environmental protection and sustainability."

To this end, MPS recently introduced a signature programme, Methodist Preschool Children Designathon (also known as MPS Designathon), a programme specially designed to help K2 children discover and learn about climate change and environmental sustainability.

This first-in-Singapore preschool Designathon combines elements of play in a structured process of hands-on learning for the K2 cohort in the network of six Methodist preschools.

Developed in partnership with Amsterdambased Designathon Works, the curriculum is based on three themes—Plastic, Robots and Water. Educators from the MPS network attended comprehensive training conducted by Designathon facilitators to equip them to teach and guide their preschoolers through the Designathon process.

The process starts with an interactive lesson where age-appropriate knowledge and environmental challenges related to the selected theme of Plastic, Robots or Water are shared with the children. The children then work in small teams to ideate, visualise and sketch their solutions before presenting their budding ideas to the class. With their teachers' guidance and support, they use recycled materials and simple technologies to create prototypes, which they share and present to classmates.

The MPS Designathon draws on the young ones' boundless imagination and creativity to dream big and to think boldly, critically and out of the box to ideate and build solutions for a brighter future. Adrian Lim, MPS Director of Education Services, said, "We see our children as changemakers and hope they will grow up to be engaged citizens and future activists, scientists and inventors who can take action for a better world they want to live in."

The programme also helps the children hone their social and communication skills through working in teams. The opportunity for each project group to present their sketch and built-up prototype also enhances their presentation skills and builds up self-confidence.

The MPS Designathon stacks on another key MPS curriculum initiative, the LEGO Build the Change Programme. Launched as part of MPS' Extended Curriculum in 2023, it also supports efforts to equip

kindergarteners with foundational knowledge about environmental challenges, inspire the changemaker within and imbue values of global citizenship. After gaining an understanding about the adverse impact of climate change on animal habitats, the K1 & K2 children are challenged to exercise their creativity by using LEGO bricks to build innovative solutions to address the concerns. The programme concludes with the teams showcasing their LEGO creations during a show-and-tell session to peers and teachers.

For details of the MPS Methodist Church Members Promotion, go to https://methodistpreschools. org/methodist-church-memberspromotion-2024 (right) Presenting sketches before prototype creation (far right) MPS Designathon creators

Visit the MPS website at https://methodistpreschools.org/ to schedule a visit to an MPS centre.

Sandra Wee oversees communications at Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) and believes in empowering communication with compassion. / Photos courtesy of SOS

Leading with faith A journey in mental health advocacy

In the world of crisis intervention and suicide prevention, hope can often seem elusive, but for one CEO, faith has been a guiding light, illuminating the path towards healing and resilience. Gasper Tan stands as a testament to this enduring strength. As the CEO of Samaritans of Singapore Limited (SOS), he embodies the spirit of unwavering faith and hope. Under his steadfast stewardship, SOS has transformed both corporately and in its service offerings beyond its well-known 24-hour hotline, while keeping to the same mission—providing a refuge of solace and empathy to those grappling with their deepest challenges.

Gasper's journey into the world of mental health advocacy was shaped by his personal trials which led to a turning point in his faith. In the early 2000s, as he began

But the road to success was marred by the haunting spectre of his mother's battle with depression. The weight of her suffering bore heavily on him. When news of her suicide attempts reached him, Gasper found himself teetering on the precipice of despair.

A mountaintop experience in the valley

Yet, it was within this seemingly bottomless chasm of despair that Gasper experienced a profound transformation. In the depths of darkness,

he rediscovered God, finding solace and strength in Scripture. This spiritual renewal reminded him that true success is not measured by worldly standards but by the love, peace, and hope found in a life aligned with God's purpose. He discovered the importance of nurturing not just the mind and body, but also the soul, through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

Through Psalm 139:23-24, God revealed that he was intimately aware of Gasper's inner turmoil. In a moment of humble surrender, Gasper prayed for the Lord to search his heart, recognising that his trials were not mere obstacles but integral milestones in understanding his true purpose under God's sovereign design.

This prompted him to depart from the hustle of the marketplace, to be still, and surrender his life entirely into God's hands. Over the course of four years, God meticulously worked in Gasper's life, speaking to him clearly through his Word (specifically the Book of Job) and shaping him for a divine purpose. God gently steered his journey toward an unforeseen calling—joining SOS as its CEO in 2019. Gasper felt unprepared, as his previous experiences appeared to lack direct relevance.

But the comforting words of Isaiah 41:10 offered reassurance as he ventured into unfamiliar territory, reminding him of God's constant presence: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Embracing these scriptural truths, he found the courage to step boldly into his calling, trusting in God's provision every step of the way and applying his marketplace experience and talents to the role.

As Gasper, who is a member of Foochow Methodist Church, assumed the role of CEO at SOS, he was struck by a profound realisation: SOS was not merely an organisation but a conduit for God's love and compassion in a fractured world. Recognising its role as a tangible expression of hope and healing, Gasper's heart resonated deeply with SOS's mission—to extend hope to those wrestling with despair and isolation. He firmly embraced the significance of inclusivity, understanding that every individual, regardless of their struggles, deserved compassion and support—a principle reflective of Jesus' own compassionate nature.

More than just a hotline

Since his stewardship, SOS has expanded its services and outreach programmes beyond its 24-hour helpline to include a text messaging service, crisis intervention, support for suicide attempters, support for grieving families who have lost loved ones to suicide, and extensive training initiatives empowering the community to assist individuals in crisis. Reflecting on this growth over the last five years, Gasper attributes it to God's guiding hand. "Each step forward is a testament to aligning with God's divine plan and faithfully fulfilling the mission entrusted to us," Gasper says.

During an office renovation three years ago, Gasper stumbled upon archived documents detailing the inception of SOS and its deeprooted connection to The Methodist Church in Singapore. (The founding director of SOS was the late Rev Dr Gunnar J Teilmann Jr, an American Methodist missionary pastor who pastored several Methodist and Anglican churches in Singapore before heading SOS. 1 ) Gasper believed that this discovery was not a revelation of historical facts, but a divine orchestration of events, highlighting how God's hand had been at work since the very inception of SOS.

For Gasper, his faith has been more than just a belief system; it has been a source of strength and inspiration in his work. "God's goodness is evident in every aspect of our journey," he shares. "From the tireless dedication of volunteers and staff to the transformative impact witnessed in the lives of those touched by our programs, we witness God's hand at work daily."

SAMARITANS

OF

SINGAPORE

conducts the "Be A Samaritan" (BAS) programme which aims to equip communities with the knowledge and skills to be a firstresponder to anyone facing a crisis. Communities who have experienced a suicide loss may also get in touch to arrange for critical incident stress debrief sessions.

For enquiries or more information

Write in to comms@sos.org.sg

24-hour Hotline: 1767

24-hour CareText: 9151 1767 (via WhatsApp)

Dr Cheah-Foo Fung Fong is the Vice-President of the Trinity Annual Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore.

Methodist Social Principles

The Bible

doesn't talk about 21st century family struggles, so what should we do?

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good. But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible. How then can we apply its principles to our lives? This essay is from a 9-part series of reflections on the Methodist Social Principles, which will help all Christians live by God’s principles in today’s complex world.

/ Part 2 of 9 /

A broken world

Ling* and her sister have grown up in a home where they have known no material lack. Yet at home, Ling lives with her parents' constant fights and quarrels. On Ling's 21st birthday, her parents divorced.

Mong* is a young lady who lives in a one-room flat. She ekes out a living as a massage therapist. Her husband left her after her son was born four years ago.

Tiong* is a successful entrepreneur who works long hours to provide a comfortable lifestyle for his family. He travels often and this takes a toll on his relationship with his wife. He hardly has time with his sevenyear-old daughter.

These are real stories of people living in our

community. They may even be part of our church congregation.

Societal norms create tensions and fracture family relationships. The church community is certainly not exempt from the causes and impact of divorces and single-parent families.

Some struggle, too, with sexual brokenness and addictions, and others with fertility issues. Some suffer in silence and perhaps in shame. How should the Church respond?

Families as God's beautiful plan

We understand, from the Bible, that God has a good plan for families. Marriage was instituted by God—when "a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Sex is a beautiful and sacred gift of intimacy shared between husband and wife, through which they fulfil God's command to be fruitful and multiply.

Restoring God's rule for individuals and families begins with a relationship with Jesus.

But the first family, Adam and Eve, did not bring children into Eden. Instead they brought sin into the world and severed the relationship between God and man. Since then, God has been on the path of restoring mankind to himself through the completed work of Christ on the cross at Calvary.

Restoring God's rule for individuals and families begins with a relationship with Jesus, which leads us to complete salvation from our sins and the empowering, through the Holy Spirit, to lead a life of personal as well as social holiness, for ourselves and for our families.

Rather than a list of do's and don'ts and high-horse statements, Christian Social Principles like the Methodist ones paint for us God's plan—that marriage is a covenant of love, commitment and fidelity between a man and a woman; that children are a blessing from the Lord, with new life beginning at conception; that faith is imparted to children by their parents and parent-child relationships intentionally nurtured through quality time in worship and recreation; and that children honour, respect and care for their parents, especially in sickness and old age.

We are reminded of the effect that sin has in distorting our perception of sexuality. This manifests in several ways, including fornication, adultery, exploitation of sex, addiction to pornography, same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria. All of these are distortions of God's original design for mankind and cannot be upheld in Christian teaching.

Yet, persons struggling with sexual brokenness are of sacred worth to God and they need the healing and transforming power of God's grace. The Church needs to be a place where persons with sexual brokenness may be "ministered to and guided with faithfulness, courage and love, so that they may grow in holiness"

( The Book of Discipline of The Methodist Church in Singapore , Methodist Social Principles, ¶84.3h).

The Church is also to be a safe place for those who may be prejudiced against in family situations that may not fit the perceived norm, for instance, those who are struggling through the pain of divorce, the hardships of single-parent families, the societal pressures faced by those who are not married, and the anxieties borne by married couples who are unable to conceive.

The Church needs to surround the hurting with a community that loves, encourages and supports them, including coaching and counselling for those who require it.

Ultimately, the journey in personal and social holiness begins with a relationship with Jesus Christ.

When individuals and families begin to understand what it means to belong to the Lord, the family transforms radically.

The question, then, is whether we believe God is able to bring the broken and hurting back into a relationship with himself, no matter how impossible that may seem.

If we believe so, then we begin to ask ourselves what we can do, as his people and his Church, to walk with people like Ling, Mong and Tiong in practical, lifegiving ways that will bring the Kingdom of God to rule in their lives and in our society.

*Names

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

The past few decades have witnessed tremendous advances in the field of prenatal genetic screening. The new technologies that are being introduced promise to be game changers in the whole area of prenatal care. As Ignatia Van den Veyver explains:

More recently introduced technologies such as chromosomal microarray analysis and whole-exome sequencing can diagnose more genetic conditions on samples obtained through amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling, including many disorders that cannot be screened for non-invasively. 1

The Christian response to these developments in genetic technology is dependent on several considerations.

Christians are not Luddites—they are not in principle opposed to science and technology. Much, however, depends on what prenatal genetic screening is for, and the purposes it is meant to serve.

Christians should have no fundamental objections if these tests are meant to prepare parents to care for their genetically compromised children and help society to put in place the support that makes such

Welcoming children as gifts

care possible. However, Christians cannot endorse these tests if they aim to enable parents to "select" healthy children by aborting their unborn children who are predisposed to debilitating diseases for which there is no cure. Christians also cannot endorse these tests if their broad acceptance and practice would result in the introduction of what bioethicists have described as "soft" (i.e. non-coercive and non-authoritarian) eugenics to society.

In the early 2000s, Iceland introduced prenatal screening for Down Syndrome. While these tests are not mandatory, the government ensures that all expectant mothers are informed about their availability and encourages them to get tested.

According to Landspitali University Hospital in Reykjavik, about 80 to 85 per cent of pregnant women choose to take the prenatal screening test. CBS News reports that "the vast majority of women—close to 100 per cent—who received a positive test for Down [S]yndrome terminated their pregnancy." 2

Iceland can achieve a record-low number of children born with Down Syndrome, with an average of just one or two a year for a population of around 330,000. This

remarkable statistic, however, is not the result of some medical breakthrough in treating Down Syndrome, but the termination of the lives of unborn babies who are predisposed to the condition. Put bluntly: Iceland's "solution" to Down Syndrome is to eliminate children with this condition, with the aid of prenatal screening.

Christians must categorically reject this approach, not only because they view abortion as the wilful termination of human life, but also because the approach itself is highly problematic: it perverts society's attitude towards children with disabilities.

In 1977, theologian and ethicist Stanley Hauerwas wrote a moving and powerful article (whose title may sound offensive to some today) called Having and Learning to Care for Retarded Children 3 He argues that children must be seen as a gift precisely because "we do not determine their right to exist or not to exist".4

Reflecting on the meaning of the gift, Hauerwas writes: "Insofar as gifts are independent they do not always bring joy and surprise, but they equally may bring pain and suffering … [G]enuine gifts create needs, that is, they teach us what wants we should have, as they must remind us how limited we are without them." 5

Applying this understanding to children, Hauerwas writes eloquently that:

children are basic and perhaps the most essential gifts we have because they teach us how to be. That is, they create in us the proper need to want to love and regard another … Children are gifts exactly because they draw our love to them while refusing to be as we wish them to be. 6

What about children with disabilities or who are genetically compromised? Why should they be welcomed and loved?

They should be welcomed and loved not out of some twisted sense of heroism or even

pity. They should be welcomed and loved simply because they are children. No matter how compromised they might be, they are gifts which must always be accepted with gratitude. They must never be seen as a "problem" or a "burden" to their parents and to society.

Hauerwas again puts this passionately:

What is important is not that we Christians have retarded children, but that we know why and to what end we have them. To have them in order to witness to what nice people we are is only another subtle way to use them. We have them because they are children— no special reason beyond that needs to be given—but as children they present special needs that we must know how to meet responsibly. For we must know how to care for them in ways that respect their independence from us as their existence, as well as our own, it is grounded in the fact that we are each called to service in God's kingdom. 7

When we see children in this way as gifts, we will never subject their lives and their right to exist to a utilitarian calculus. We will never see them as a disposable commodity that can simply be discarded when they fail to meet our quality control criteria.

1 Ignatia B. Van den Veyver, ‘Recent Advances in Prenatal Genetic Screening and Testing’, National Library of Medicine , Oct 28, 2016, https://pubmed. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27853526/.

2 Julian Quinones and Arijeta Lajka, ‘ “What kind of society do you want to live in?”: Inside the country where Down syndrome is disappearing’, CBS News, August 15, 2017, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ down-syndrome-iceland/.

3 Stanley Hauerwas, ‘Having and Learning to Care for Retarded Children’, Journal of Religion, Disability & Health, 23 Sep, 2008, 149-159. Originally published in Truthfulness and Tragedy: Further Investigations into Christian Ethics (Notre Dame, In., 1977), 147-156.

4 Ibid., 155. / 5 Ibid. / 6 Ibid., 156. / 7 Ibid., 157.

Young Voices

Eden Lok worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church and serves in the Children's Ministry and Youth Ministry (Youthphoria). He captains the 33rd Juniors Boys' Brigade company and is currently pursuing a Bachelor in Early Childhood Education. / Photos courtesy of Eden Lok

A calling to teach the children of God

From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.

Isaiah 64:4

Each Sunday, over 120 children in the evergrowing Children's Ministry at Aldersgate Methodist Church gather for a time of worship. The combination of dance actions, sign language and music engages the senses of the children and their teachers and leads them to worship God. I see a boy invent his own worship dance moves, a girl close her eyes while lifting up her voice in song and siblings hold one another to provide comfort and assurance. In these heartfelt moments, I sense joy in these children around me.

We move to the classrooms and the children retrieve their Bibles and stationery, ready for a time of prayer before the lesson begins. The teachers plan activities that enhance the lessons—illustrating the motivations

and dispositions of each character in the Bible story and how they responded to God. Games, manipulatives like playdough and movements allow them to simulate the Bible story. I enjoy seeking responses from the children and allowing them to figure out the biblical truths with their peers.

One of my favourite days in the season of Kingdomtide is the annual Children's Day celebrations in October, where the children are encouraged to invite their friends and classmates. We see huge turnouts of over 400 children annually and it is an opportunity for outreach and evangelism. One of the children asks for additional copies of the invitation so that he can invite his whole class of forty. It is indeed inspiring to see children put God first in school and use their influence to draw others to God.

Encountering God

As a young child, I wondered what it would be like to encounter God. I had thought that good works would prompt God to reveal himself to us. I assumed that our individual identities were wholly self-made and self-directed. As a 14-yearold, this led me to focus on academic excellence alone. I imagined that I could

Eden teaching Bible lessons during Aldersgate Methodist Church's camp in 2023

establish myself by my academic prowess and it would lead to success in every endeavour in the future.

Classroom challenges

My conviction to teach in Sunday school, and thereafter to embark on a teaching career, did not come with compulsion. Rather, it was a gentle prompting during a routine bus ride that God revealed himself to me as the God of infinite knowledge. I was doing nothing, pondering nothing, looking forward to nothing. In that moment I was filled with an abundance and fullness that was not of my own and felt God calling me to commit myself to become a teacher. God set eternity in my heart, and it was surprising, delightful and overwhelming; I was filled with conviction.

I have served in the Children's Ministry for more than a decade. In every moment I am blessed with the full measure of God's joy and delight, through every encounter with his children. What has kept me labouring in this harvest field is the knowledge that I remain in God's perfect plan, covered by his grace and mercy.

Sometimes it is challenging to bring across the abstract visions and imagery in the Bible to a young audience. In such situations, I remember God helps us to understand the Word by his Holy Spirit. Once, I was teaching a lesson on Isaiah 6, and the description of heavenly beings provoked a chorus of private conversations on how these heavenly beings looked like, threatening to derail the entire lesson. This behaviour occurs frequently in the classroom and it is tempting to call out this behaviour as disruptive. However, in the Bible account, Isaiah presented a willingness to heed God's call, and I drew their attention to this point to redirect their conversations back to the main objective of the lesson.

Giving children the time and space to understand that it is important to listen and obey the Scriptures requires patience. As a teacher, I want to seize these teachable moments and allow them to come to their own understanding of the truth. I hope this is how they will begin to be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

A great responsibility

To accept the call to teach is to accept a call of great responsibility. As stewards of God's children, we have a duty to keep them accountable to the truth and build up their faith.

But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God."

Luke 18:16

If we go before our God Almighty with full sincerity and humility, he withholds nothing and reveals himself to us. This is the truth I wish to convey to the children.

Rev Daniel Tong is an alumnus of Trinity Theological College and has served as an ordained Anglican minister for 31 years. He is a published author on books about Chinese practices and beliefs and is married with three young adult children.

Is Qicompatible with the Christian faith?

Spend any time exploring Chinese culture and practice, and one will without fail come across the notion of Qi ( qi in Chinese pinyin or chi in Wade-Giles romanisation). It can be variously interpreted as "steam", "breath", "vital energy", "vital force", "material force", "matterenergy", "organic material energy", or " pneuma ".

Qi (classical script: 氣 , simplified script: 气 ) is to the Chinese the intangible power behind the creation of the universe, traditional Chinese medicinal diagnosis and treatment, and the practice of Feng Shui . It is the life force that powers all things, the "psychophysical energies that permeate the universe". 1

As something integral to Chinese heritage, it is important that we delve into the notion of Qi by asking the following three questions:

 Firstly, is the concept of Qi a philosophy of life?

 Secondly, is Qi a law of nature?

 Thirdly, is Qi a supernatural force?

Is the concept of Qi a philosophy of life?

By "a philosophy of life", I do not mean how we should live life or our purpose in life, but an account of the creation of the world and how it holds together. In Chinese philosophy, " Qi has a material existence independent of subjective consciousness and is the basic element of all physical beings. It is also the basis for the birth and existence of life and spirit … Its concentration gives birth to a thing and its evaporation signals the end of that thing. Qi permeates all physical beings and their surroundings." 2

Humanity through the ages has posited various theories for the creation of life, and the concept of Qi is part of a centuries-old Chinese philosophy about creation. This is a historical fact we cannot deny. As such, the answer to the question of whether the concept of Qi is a philosophy of life is, "yes".

This is not to say, however, that we agree with this proposition of creation. For as believers, we hold that "[i]n the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" (Genesis 1:1) and that "[a]ll things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made" (John 1:3 KJV). For us, Qi is not the vital animating force which sustains and upholds all living things, but we believe that "[t]he Lord is the sustainer of [our] soul" (Psalm 54:4 NASB).

Is Qi a law of nature?

While we acknowledge the ancient Chinese concept of Qi as a theory of creation, what about the belief held by many Chinese in the physical and material reality of Qi as a "vital energy", "vital force", and "material force"? In this regard, is Qi a force of nature, or a law of nature like Newton's law of gravitation and three laws of motion?

Years ago, someone asked me what I thought of a machine which could apparently measure the level of Qi in a person. My response was that in order for a machine to measure the level of Qi within a person, the maker of the machine must first have clearly identified and defined what Qi is. If such an identification is available, it would be the discovery of the century and much touted by the Chinese worldwide—but to date, silence. After all these years, the words of James Flowers hold

true, who wrote in his article What is Qi? , "[t]he quest to define Qi continues, with there being no breakthroughs that we know of." 3

This should not surprise us, because " Qi embraces all manifestations of energy, from the most material aspects of energy (such as the earth beneath your feet, your computer, and flesh and blood) to the most immaterial aspects (light, movement, heat, nerve impulses, thought, and emotion),"4 composing "itself in each being, feeling, thought, deed, or phenomenon, materially as well as mentally." 5

How can a philosophical concept encompassing every known "material force" and "organic material energy" in this world be scientifically classified and technically measured? It simply cannot be. So, is Qi a scientific law of nature? The answer to me is "no".

The aforementioned machine is probably a product of Western alternative medicine, advocating that the magnetic field or bioresonance surrounding each individual aids in the diagnosis and cure of certain diseases. There is no scientific basis, however, for such a claim.

Is Qi a supernatural force?

Stating that Qi is not a law of nature does not end our exploration. How do we address Qi as a vital force with real world efficacy, a belief which permeates Chinese traditional practices such as Feng Shui, traditional Chinese medicine, and Qigong ?

As Christians, we believe in the reality and efficacy of both natural and supernatural power. Thus, if we hold that Qi has efficacy but is not a natural force, we must explore the possibility of it being a supernatural power, for which we hold that there are only two sources. Some might posit that the potential source of Qi as a supernatural power is the Holy Spirit. After all, "spirit" in Hebrew is " ruach ", which also means "breath" (Job 12:10). Thus, if the Spirit is ruach , which is breath, and Qi is breath, then the Spirit is Qi and vice versa.

The logic of this semantic play on words breaks down when you consider the practice of Chinese philosophy, which advocates that Qi may be

directed and captured through actions such as the orientation of our front door and placement of water features, our ingestion of different ingredients, manipulation of physical points on our bodies and our deep breathing and meditation. These can in turn presumably lead to better health and material success.

Now, if Qi is the "Holy Spirit", and the orientation of our front door and placement of water features, our ingestion of different ingredients, manipulation of physical points on our bodies and our deep breathing and meditation lead to Qi , the "Holy Spirit", bettering our health and material success, what does that make us— who are able to orientate, place, ingest, and manipulate Qi —in relation to God?

The Holy Spirit cannot be manhandled by us—we are humans! The Holy Spirit is not Qi. God is not the source of the supernatural power of Qi. Establishing the efficacy of Qi to be neither a natural force nor the supernatural empowering our Lord God leaves us with only one other supernatural force to consider—a force our Father in heaven clearly advocates we have nothing to do with!

Is Qi a philosophy or force?

What can we conclude then regarding the notion of Qi ? Is the concept of Qi a philosophy of life? It is, but one at odds with biblical teaching.

Is Qi a law of nature? No, there is no proof that it is.

Is Qi a supernatural force? Qi is not the "pneuma" (spirit) of God. Supernatural forces not of God are not to be dabbled in.

1"Qi," Encyclopædia Britannica, March 8, 2024, https://www. britannica.com/topic/qi-Chinese-philosophy.

2 "Qi (Vital Force)," Key concepts in Chinese thought and culture, accessed March 19, 2024, https://www. chinesethought.cn/EN/shuyu_show.aspx?shuyu_id=2130.

3 James Flowers, "What Is Qi?," Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine 3, no. 4 (October 23, 2006): 551–52, https://doi.org/10.1093/ecam/nel074.

4 Christopher Hafner, "What Is Qi? (And Other Concepts)," Taking charge of Your wellbeing, accessed March 19, 2024, https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-qi-andother-concepts.

5 Jung-Yeup Kim, Zhang Zai's Philosophy of Qi: A Practical Understanding (Lanham, MD: Lexington Books, 2015).

No longer facing financial and emotional battles alone

Growing up in a broken family, Irene understands the sting of being scorned and marginalised. Even at 51, she bears the invisible scars of relentless bullying and isolation from neighbours and classmates throughout her childhood years.

"They looked down on me and called me terrible names like 'bastard'. The comments have stayed with me to this day. I had no friends, and no one to fend for me then. When I got bullied, I had to fight for myself," shared Irene, who was raised solely by her grandmother.

Lacking guidance, Irene dropped out of school, haunted by memories of childhood bullying that shattered her trust in others. Unprocessed emotions have only deepened these wounds over time, profoundly impacting her well-being.

Challenges on all fronts

Financial strain, worsened by soaring living expenses, adds to Irene's burden as the main caregiver for her family of five, comprising her husband, her 32-yearold daughter who is a single mother, and her two grandchildren, aged 10 and 4. As Irene had to leave her job to care for her grandchildren, the family now relies solely on her husband's income as a delivery driver. They struggle to get by each month, sometimes resorting to borrowing from others.

Overwhelmed by the burdens, Irene experienced bouts of anxiety and depression, exacerbated by her past traumas. "I have attempted suicide multiple times and sought help at IMH," she confessed. "I was on psychiatric medication for many years, sometimes taking up to 15 pills a day. Even with medication, it was hard to stand on my own."

It was amid this whirlwind of challenges that she sought support from MWS Covenant Family Service Centre –Buangkok (CFSC).

Holistic empowerment

Navigating a world that felt harsh and unforgiving, Irene finds solace in no longer facing her financial and emotional battles alone.

"When loneliness or depression looms, I reach out to MWS for help because I must stay strong to take care of my family. The staff are there to listen and counsel me, even when I break down. Though we are not related, they make me feel truly cared for," said Irene.

"But financial strain weighs heaviest. Money is tight, and I feel very stressed and helpless. Sometimes, I skip meals so my grandchildren can eat."

Over the years, MWS CFSC has been supporting Irene holistically. Alongside counselling and casework, she receives referrals to vital resources like childcare centres, schools and financial institutions. Irene was also placed on the MWS Family Development Programme (FDP), where every dollar she puts towards clearing debts or saving is matched with $2, helping her move towards financial stability.

An MWS FDP volunteer also journeyed with Irene to build her financial literacy and guide her in managing her finances.

"After clearing my debts and accumulating some savings, my load became lighter. Thanks to this programme, I could finally afford to buy a mattress for my family," Irene beamed.

While childhood trauma and growing up in a broken family can present

significant challenges, individuals can overcome these obstacles with support, resources and resilience. Access to mental health services, financial guidance and supportive relationships can help alleviate the lasting effects of childhood adversity on well-being in adulthood.

EMPOWER FAMILIES TO WEATHER LIFE'S STORMS TODAY

For families like Irene's, the worries of daily living are like a constant storm that they cannot find shelter from. MWS journeys alongside families, empowering them to break out of poverty in its various forms, from financial struggles to poor social support and fractured relationships. Your donation helps break the cycle of poverty that persists across generations, providing hope and dignity to over 11,000 individuals and families like Irene's. Join us in making a difference.

To donate, visit mws.sg/empowerfamilies-throughstorms, or scan the QR Code.

If you feel that you are unable to cope and have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please contact SOS' 24-hour hotline 1767 , or their 24-hour CareText via WhatsApp 9151 1767

If you feel you may be at immediate risk of harming yourself, call 995 or approach the A&E department of your nearest hospital.

Outreach

Pastor Daniel Loo is the Pastor-in-Charge of Little Candles Methodist Church and is a member of the Board of Management of Little Candles Methodist School. / Photos courtesy of Methodist Missions Society

Dedication Service for Little Candles Methodist School (Primary) held in Phrao, Chiang Mai

On 20 March 2024, an extraordinary milestone in the ministry of the Methodist Missions Society of Singapore in Thailand was reached. It was the day the Dedication Service of Little Candles Methodist School (Primary) took place in the town of Phrao, Chiang Mai, in north Thailand. The event, presided over by Bishop Dr Gordon Wong of The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS), was the culmination of a building project that began two and a half years earlier in November 2021 and completed just days before the Dedication Service.

The story of Little Candles Methodist School, however, truly began in 2008 when my wife, Sharon, and I first arrived in Phrao as missionaries. The question on everyone's mind then, and even now,

was "Why Phrao?" After all, Phrao is just a small countryside town where the biggest "shopping centre" is a 7-Eleven convenience store.

My wife and I were answering God's call to assist a local church in setting up a dormitory for hill tribe students. When that project finished, we stayed on at the request of some parents to provide English tuition for their children. This led us to start a nursery in 2010, which grew into a kindergarten in 2012. In 2016, we joined Methodist Missions Society (MMS) and in December 2020, the school's building and land was transferred to the Muangthai Mettakij Foundation, the subsidiary of MMS in Thailand. The plan was to extend the existing school to provide primary school education.

Unveiling of plaque commemorating the dedication of

(below)

Col (Ret) Quek Koh Eng, Regional Director for East Asia, Laos, Thailand and TimorLeste in MMS, coordinated the proposal for a primary school in Phrao, known as Little Candles Methodist School Primary Building Project, that was passed at the General Conference of MCS in 2020. MMS then appointed a school board led by BG (Ret) Prof Emeritus Lionel Lee to steer the school through its transition to primarylevel education and lead the fund-raising committee. A building committee, led by Lip Jin Ho, was selected to oversee the construction of the school which was completed within budget and only six months late, despite being constructed

The Dedication began with a ribbon cutting ceremony by Bishop Dr Wong, His Excellency Nirat Pongsitthithaworn, the Governor of Chiang Mai, Mrs Jinda Kamlangprasit, Deputy Provincial Education Officer of Chiang Mai, and Mr Suchad Chiaranussati, Chairman of the Muangthai Mettakij Foundation. The guests were then ushered into the new multipurpose hall to be captivated by Thai dance performances by the school students. This included students from P1, the first cohort of primary enrolments (numbering 42) who commenced in May 2023, and students from K3 who will form the second cohort (expected to be at least

Chiang Mai

Similar to the Methodist schools in Singapore, there is a strong partnership between church and school. Little Candles Methodist Church (LCMC) runs Christian programmes for the students and provides pastoral care for the school staff. LCMC is regarded as the heartbeat of the school, so it was only right that the LCMC team led the worship.

Drawing from the name of the school for his sermon, Bishop Dr Wong challenged the staff and students at the school to always be "little candles of light" by doing good deeds and showing kindness to those around us every day (Matthew 5:16). Next was the unveiling of the plaque, and then tours of the school, followed by lunch which was a scrumptious selection of Thai dishes including pig trotters. To top off the excitement of the day was a taster of burgers and drinks from our very own Daniel's Burgers restaurant, which supports our ministry and has become an iconic feature of Phrao.

Reflecting on the past two years, it has been a long journey for the staff of both Little Candles Methodist School and LCMC. The challenges in opening the first private primary school in Phrao have brought us closer together and more dependent on God. We have also learnt gratefulness from the generosity of those who gave to the building of the school. Besides providing quality education, the purpose of the

primary school is to walk with the children on their journey of faith to a higher level— which was not possible with a kindergarten alone. That this goal is already being achieved is evident among the new Primary 1 students who have shown a growing intellectual ability to ask deeper questions about God, with some even joining the Sunday worship at church.

Praise God for Little Candles Methodist School!

You and Your Family

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Utara:

Finding our true north

Years ago, when Singaporean families went on holiday, it often took the form of a road trip to Cameron Highlands or to Kuala Lumpur. The road then was an undivided two-way road that snaked up north and was periodically signposted with signs that read "Utara" (or North in English). Regardless of the occasional detours, twists and turns, if you followed the Utara signs and stayed on the road, you would eventually reach Kuala Lumpur.

Sadly, many who entered the field wanting to "do good" leave feeling defeated and thinking that they did not make any positive contribution to their clients' lives.

Social work and counselling are vocations with their fair share of "twists and turns". The unexpected detours and logjams often leave many travellers feeling lost, tired, discouraged and disillusioned. Just like travellers who found themselves on a wrong train, many wonder if they made a wrong choice in their journey for a meaningful career.

Some suffer burnout from the emotional stresses that come from helping clients with chronic and multiple needs. Some plod on day after day, with each step leaving them feeling tired physically and emotionally. They question how their noble and well-intentioned decision has been translated into doing "soul numbing" tasks of following protocols and procedures.

I have sometimes been asked what has kept me on this vocational path for over four decades. Some of my enquirers probably are unaware of the detours I have taken. Like the year where, after more than 10 years working as a counsellor, I left to join the corporate world. It was there that I saw the focus was not on helping the individual but on maximising shareholders' gains.

That difficult year away taught me some valuable lessons, such as discovering which things would give my life meaning and satisfaction. I concluded that helping others gives me real joy. The helping does not need to involve doing big things like saving a marriage; it could even be as simple as buying tissue paper from the old aunty in the hawker centre. Doing good deeds gives me a "kick", a sense of meaning and purpose.

Realistically, not all of us are able to do jobs that help others, like being teachers or nurses. I do believe, however, that in every job are opportunities to show compassion— like helping your colleague when her computer crashes or when you have a plaster for someone with a blister.

As for those well-intentioned but disillusioned social workers and counsellors, are they not involved in doing good? Being in a position that allows you to do some good is often not enough. Intention needs to be coupled with appropriate actions and outcome. As many in the helping professions know, good outcomes are not always achieved. Much depends on so many factors other than the helper's competency. What is more, the growth and change we are targeting often happen in slow and oftentimes imperceptible degrees.

Another factor that eats away at one's idealised optimism is that the helping professions are often governed by more than good intentions. There are procedures to follow, criteria to be applied and red tape to be navigated.

Fortunately, for most of my working life, I have been allowed to do my work in a way

Open daily: 8am-8pm | Public Holidays: 9am-2pm

that is aligned with my values and beliefs. This I found is the true north that has guided my career decisions and informed some of my day-to-day choices. It breathes life into my work. As long as I go by my Utara, keeping close to my true north, I know that I am close to watering holes where my soul can be replenished.

What are the personal values that define you? Some of us might have to dig deep, maybe as far back as our school years. Perhaps, they were shaped by your parents, major life experiences or your faith? Some of us feel strongly about justice, fairness, compassion, etc. These values are often life- and energy-giving. Other values like getting ahead, personal gain, efficiency, etc. are sadly self-diminishing. If you know of someone who has lost their way, perhaps it is time to point them back to their Utara.

• Located next to Commonwealth MRT Station

• 99-year lease commencing from 1964

• Clean and peaceful environment

• Transfer of urns or exhumation can be arranged

OPEN

TO ALL

CHRISTIANS Single and double niches are available with the following

(Level 5) Open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays) Tel : 6479 8122 | HP : 9670 9935 Fax: 6479 6960 Email: gepc400@gmail.com For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Friendships

Can't click with my cell group mates who are older

I've been attending cell group for a few years but the level of interaction is at acquaintance level and we usually just talk about the Bible. I'm the youngest in the cell group and the rest are clearly in a different phase of life. The topics the elderly talk about always centre around bodily pains and the married ones talk about their kids. I'm the only single and while I empathise with them, I feel like we do not have the same interests. It's very difficult to click with them in a more intimate manner. I've tried visiting another cell group with people closer to my age, but it felt awkward. How do I build intimate relationships with cell group mates?  Friend

Li Ping says

Dear Friend,

Have you shared your concerns with your cell group leader(s) and sought his/ her/their advice? Let me address two assumptions I hear in your question about building intimate relationships:

You are right about it taking more than just Bible study! Relationships are built primarily through activities that build relational joy and attachment, such as eating, playing and doing life together. While these can be part of a cell group meeting, much takes place in informal occasions in between. Do attend these activities if your cell group has them or you can initiate them.

Your other assumption about relating more easily with others in the same life phase is not necessarily true, as your own experience in the other cell group has shown. Much depends on members' intentionality to nurture relationships and show genuine love.

Activities like the following (mentioned in The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation by Jim Wilder & Michel Hendricks) can also build relational intimacy in any group. Consider introducing them to your group.

A. Build relational joy. Select one member and have others share something they are grateful for in this person. When all have shared, repeat with another member and so on.

B. Practise sharing and receiving weakness. Go round in the circle and share:

A physical weakness (e.g. backache, illness). Everyone responds by saying together "Lord Jesus, help us." Repeat until all have had a chance to share.

• A relationship weakness (e.g. broken friendship, family problem). Everyone responds by saying together "Lord Jesus, help us." Repeat until all have had a chance to share.

A character weakness. This is the most challenging, so begin with a low or medium level character flaw.

1. Spend one minute in silence asking Jesus to show you something he likes about you.

2. Spend another minute asking him to reveal a character weakness he wants you to share with the group.

3. Go around the circle and share what God revealed in (1) and then (2).

4. Everyone responds by saying, "Lord Jesus, help us." Do not comment or give advice.

Family Is it normal that my daughter's boyfriends last a short period of time before she moves on to the next?

My daughter has always been popular in school. Now that she has started dating, I've noticed her relationships last for short periods of time, about 3-6 months, before she moves on to the next guy. Is this normal or should I be concerned?

 mummy

Benny says Dear mummy,

The topic of boy-girl relationships is a concern of many parents of adolescent children, especially when they are girls, and when it is in the early stages. Are you worried that she is initiating too many new relationships at a young age, that her choices in boyfriends have proven unsound or that she is taking this whole experience too casually?

Dating is an exciting phase in one's life. It does require an ability to manage many competing priorities and to have a healthy dose of self-esteem. The fact that your

daughter seems to be popular and that it is she who initiated the breakups suggests that she is not lacking in self-esteem.

Is the concern that she may have a sense of self that is too inflated and that she is insensitive to others? Being popular may mean that she has a choice of suitors (not a bad situation) but if she is not seriously interested in them, should she encourage them in the first place? If the interested parties are her peers, then their emotional maturity may lag as girls seem to mature a little ahead of their male peers. What this means is that their ability to manage the highs and lows of a relationship may be untested. The rejection and breakups they experience can be rather painful.

Remember that the dating norms of our youth today compared to those of their parents' generation is vastly different—it looks more "casual" these days. This is not to say that they lack commitment and loyalty but these things are more quickly established. Perhaps it reflects the pace of the world they live in.

It might be time for a good motherdaughter conversation to talk about the value of friendship and taking one's time to grow a relationship. After all, they have their whole life ahead of them.

Friendships

I keep paying for meals out with my friend

My new friend and I are from vastly different cultures, but we see eye to eye on most things. We are both students and when we go out, we are supposed to take turns to pay for meals. But I've noticed that I am always the one paying. Should I say something? It's not that I don't want to be generous. I just don't want to be taken advantage of. Furthermore, he comes from a much wealthier family than I do.

 creditcard

Ai Jin says Dear creditcard,

If you have both agreed on taking turns, you can assume that this rule is in place and to be effected. How then did you end up paying for the meals again and again?

Let's explore what could have happened, aside from cultural differences. Perhaps one's upbringing and a lack of a gift in hospitality can make one oblivious. Or could it have slipped his mind? Or are you faster at offering to pay? Regardless of the many possible reasons, the fact of the matter is that the plan to take turns to pay can stand ground only if you abide by it as well.

Honour your own values: while you can be generous, you believe in respect and doing the right thing. Follow through what you believe in. The next time if it's your friend's turn to pay, practise taking the role of a receiver, wait and let your friend act first and thank him for the meal.

Walking alongside you with compassion and care ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

MISSIONS FOR EVERYONE | HELP FEED THE MOBILE MASSES

1 June 2024 (Saturday), 9.00 a.m. – 12.00 p.m.

Orchard Road Presbyterian Church, 3 Orchard Road, S238825

Register before 18 May via www.wycliffe.sg/events . Limited slots available. Free

Many language communities have the Bible in their language but do not have access to it in a format they can easily use. Since 2010, Kalaam Media has been meeting this need by publishing Scriptures and related content in local languages on websites and in mobile apps. This half-day workshop shows how you can create mobile applications by using finalised Scripture files. The first hour will be spent installing software, then the rest of the time will be spent preparing and testing the apps. The finished app will work just like Kalaam apps on the Google Play Store, demonstrating what it is like to build apps for minority language communities around the world as part of the Kalaam team. There are some technical requirements for the workshop but no coding experience is necessary.

This workshop is conducted by Jim Moore, the Managing Director of Kalaam Media.

Organised by Wycliffe Singapore

THE SIGNIFICANT WOMAN (TSW) COURSE

16 July – 8 November 2024. Choose from evening classes (Tue/Wed/Thu), 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m. or morning class (Thu), 9.30 a.m. – 11.30 a.m.

Hybrid. 9 sessions, primarily on Zoom with three on-site sessions at Cru Centre, 18 Verdun Road #03-01, S207280

Register before 11 July 2024 via https://www.cru.org/sg/en/train-and-grow/the-significanceproject/the-significant-woman.html

Course fee is $80; participant book is $38.90, to be purchased separately (prices inclusive of GST)

NOTE: Attendance at the Course Preview on 4 July 2024 (Thursday), 7.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m. at Cru Centre is required for those who sign up.

The Significant Woman is a discipleship course and represents a new kind of learning process. By utilising life-coaching methods, caring facilitators and personal peer coaches, this unique course provides a method of personal discovery like no other. It combines the Word of God with biblical life principles and is presented in a warm, caring and secure environment, allowing you to apply what you are learning to your daily life.

Organised by Cru Singapore

D6 FAMILY CONFERENCE 2024

26 & 27 July 2024 (Friday & Saturday), 9.30 a.m. – 5.00 p.m. Paya Lebar Methodist Church, 5 Boundary Road, S549954 Register before 30 June via https://d6family.sg $140 per person and $650 for a group of five

D6 is an annual family ministry conference focusing on generational discipleship in churches and homes. The goal of the D6 movement is to equip families and churches to pass on a spiritual legacy to future generations. The keynote speaker for this year is Dr Scott Turansky, Professor at Concordia University, Pastor at GraceWay Bible Church and co-founder of National Centre for Biblical Parenting, USA.

Organised by Sower Institute for Biblical Discipleship

• Six fully air-conditioned rooms

• Tranquil and peaceful surroundings

• Floor-to-ceiling windows with natural light

• Unobstructed views of lush greenery

• Free high-speed Wi-Fi connection

• Ample free parking spaces

and comfort during this period.” -Elizabeth Tang Every funeral: A beautiful farewell, a lasting memory

• Chapel with seating capacity of up to 150 persons

• Memorial room with a furnished outdoor patio available

• Rooms are also available for private memorial services

• Award-winning Christian columbarium

Shermaine Vong serves in the Children's Ministry in Bukit Panjang Methodist Church as part of the worship team. / Photo courtesy of Shermaine Vong

Sowing the seeds of faith

IShermaine and her husband, Pr Jason Lee and their son, Nathan

love children so it was only natural that I joined the Children's Ministry. This ministry lays the foundation of a child's faith and walk with God. As children grow and face many challenges in life, the lessons learnt in church act as the seeds of faith planted by the Sower. Watching children exercise their childlike faith is a great reminder for us adults to find hope in God's goodness and grace, even in the simplest of ways.

Singing worship songs is one of the many ways for children to remember and hold on to God's promises easily. I remember a song I learnt in Sunday school about the "Fruit of the Spirit". It really helped me to remember all the different "fruits" to this day!

The Bible says, "As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty" (Matthew 13:23). I pray that these seeds fall on good soil and that children will remain rooted in God's word and continue to walk in his ways throughout their lives.

Based on Ephesians 2:10

23 & 24 May 2024

Faith Methodist Church

Lecture—“ The End of Methodism? ”

Thu 23 May | 7.30p.m. - 9.30 p.m. | Worship Hall

Speaker Rev Dr Chiang Ming Shun

In English | Livestream is available

Scan here to register or find out more

Celebration Service

Fri 24 May | 8.00 p.m. | Sanctuary

Speaker Bishop Dr Gordon Wong

In English with Mandarin translation

Dinner begins at 6.00 p.m. Registration is required for dinner.