O&AN | October 2018 by Out & About Nashville

MURFREESBORO PRIDE’S THIRD YEAR ROCKED DATING WHILE LIVING WITH CHRONIC STIs

OCTOBER 2018 / VOLUME 17 / ISSUE 10 FIRST ISSUE FREE - ADD’L COPIES 50¢ EACH

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STAFF

Publisher: Jerry Jones jjones@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Print Editor: James Grady jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Digital Editor: Joseph Brant jbrant@outandaboutnashville.com

Sales Associate: Eric Ginsberg

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CONTRIBUTORS

Writers: Stephen Ray Albers, Craig Ammon, Julie Chase, James Grady, Josh Robbins, Chris Sanders Photographers: Julie Chase, James Grady, Michael Maupins, Cody Stallings Cover Photography: Cody Stallings National Advertising Representative: Diversitas Media 3000 North Sheridan Road, Unit 15F | Chicago, Illinois | 60657 (312) 600-8823 ext. 712

OPPORTUNITIES

Out & About Nashville welcomes volunteer writers, photographers and videographers throughout the year. If you’re interested in contributing to our publication, send an email to editor@outandaboutnashville.com with a resume, contact information and samples of your work if available. Our volunteer staff is unpaid, but contributors do receive credit for their work in our print publication and online. Those seeking an internship in journalism or mass communications are strongly encouraged to apply.

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Out & About Nashville strives to be a credible community news organization by engaging and educating our readers. All content of Out & About Nashville is copyrighted 2017 by Out & About Nashville, Inc. and is protected by federal copyright law and shall not be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. All photography is licensed stock imagery or has been supplied unless otherwise credited to a photographer and may not be reproduced without permission. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representations does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of the person or persons. Out & About Nashville accepts unsolicited material but cannot take responsibility for its return. The editor reserves the right to accept, reject or edit submissions. All rights revert to authors upon publication. The editorial positions of Out & About Nashville are expressed in editorials and in the editor’s notes as determined by the editor. Other opinions are those of writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Out & About Nashville or its staff. Letters to the editor are encouraged but may be edited for clarity and length. There is no guarantee that letters will be published. Out & About Nashville only accepts adult advertising within set guidelines and on a case-by-case basis.

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16 10.18

CONTENTS 8

LGBT CHAMBER SPOTLIGHT: PHIL COBUCCI

LGBTQ+ CHURCH OPENING IN MURFREESBORO

WHERE TO GRAB COCKTAILS AROUND TOWN THIS FALL

LEARNING TO LIVE AND DATE WITH HIV TODAY

MURFREESBORO SHOWS ITS TRUE COLORS FOR PRIDE

8 6

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OCTOBER 2018

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Phil Cobucci & BAM! Social Business

CRAIG AMMON

The Nashville LGBT Chamber received a $25,000 grant from Metro Nashville in June and a $2,500 grant from Wells Fargo in August, to grow and certify LGBT owned businesses. Each month the Chamber will highlight one of its members that is already certified as an LGBT BE (LGBT Business Enterprise) or is in the process of getting its certification. To find out more about certification, contact the Chamber. The 2018 Nashville Pride Festival was a huge success, drawing 35,000 participants that gathered to connect with one another and celebrate our community. While past president Phil Cobucci and the rest of the Pride Board are pleased with the festival’s success, they’re not quite ready to rest on their laurels. Cobucci said, “Every year, we have the opportunity to review things that went well and things that could be improved upon. This is a process that is done every year as the festival and month-long celebration of LGBTQ pride in Nashville continues to grow.” The Pride Board is already meeting to evaluate Pride 2018 in order to prepare for 2019. Of course, they want to make the festival more efficient and enjoyable for the growing number of participants, so logistics around the live entertainment, the admissions gate and concessions are key concerns. This is especially true as they plan for next year’s Pride, which will mark the 50th anniversary of Stonewall and the birth of the Pride movement. But Cobucci asserts that Pride goes beyond enjoying a two-day festival of celebration and entertainment as a community. He feels strongly that Pride is ‘connector’ of all the diverse members of our community. As such, it must be a platform to raise awareness and provide advocacy for those within our community that might go unnoticed or under-served. For example, last year Pride honored the Trans community in the Equality Walk and in a ceremony on the main festival stage, bringing awareness to the daily struggles and even dangers to the Trans members of our community. Cobucci said that are other issues that Pride can bring to the forefront in the public dialogue about LGBT issues to raise awareness and provide education and outreach. In doing so, Pride can connect those in need to the agencies that do the work on a daily basis. For Cobucci, service on the Pride Board is a labor of love. “I think we should celebrate Pride 365 days a year,” he said. Cobucci was raised in an environment that was not supportive of his orientation, so he considers the Nashville LGBT community his “chosen” family. He appreciates Pride as an opportunity “to bring the community closer together so that we can move forward together. Pride gives us a platform to drive awareness about who we are as a community, the great things we have done, and continue to do.” He said Pride and his involvement in the LGBT community is a ‘re-direction’ for him, meaning that he directs his love to those in our

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community who need and appreciate it, instead of towards those in his life that might reject him due to his LGBT identity. Cobucci first became involved in the Pride Board through his contacts in the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Cobucci moved to Nashville from New York City in 2008 and launched BAM! Social Business, a digital marketing and website development company. BAM! Serves a wide variety of clientele, from small, “Mom and Pop” shops to large multi-national corporations, assisting them in developing and implementing their social media strategies. For smaller companies, BAM! can build those strategies from the ground up. For larger corporations, BAM! will focus and improve social media strategies as an extension of existing marketing directions. BAM! was one of the first companies in Nashville to become a National LGBT Certified Business Enterprise through the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce and the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. Cobucci encourages Chamber members to make the investment of their time to become certified. “It’s a lot easier than most people think,” he said. There are a lot of steps to follow and the process takes time, but not much was required of applicants besides submitting documents and financial statements

they should already be keeping in order to run their businesses. Cobucci said there are many advantages to becoming LGBT Chamber certified. Many large corporations have quotas in place to that ensure that they hire minority-owned businesses, and certification is necessary to receive that consideration. So, his company has opportunities to conduct business with these larger corporations that he might not have as a small business owner competing with larger companies to secure those relationships. Cobucci spends most of his time away from BAM! Social Business giving of himself to an array of social and charitable causes, such as serving on the boards of Nashville Emerging Leaders, the Pencil Foundation and Inside Out Faith, as well as the Davidson County Foster Care Review Board and an exploratory committee working on establishing a Pride Community Center here in Nashville. Cobucci is fond of saying that all of us should strive to give our “time, talent, or treasure” to connect all of us and help those in need to get the care, resources, and advocacy they need to thrive. Cobucci feels very blessed to be able to give all three. Lately, he’s made it a point to encourage others to get involved in causes about which they feel passionate. Cobucci said, “There is no single person in this world that can do everything, however, everyone can do something. I like to take a global viewpoint on everything that I get involved with. Think globally, act locally—I suppose. I am a firm believer that the measure of a persons’ life is the effect that they have on others.”

2015

To find out more about how BAM! Social Business can help your company tell its story in the online and digital space, please visit bamsocialbusiness.com.

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LITTLE CONVERSATIONS YOU CAN HAVE TO MAKE A BIG IMPACT ON THE ELECTION CHRIS SANDERS

My guess is that most Out & About Nashville readers are more informed about the November election than the average Tennessee resident. You might be surprised what your friends and neighbors don’t know about the upcoming election, and you might also be surprised by how it easy it is for you to have a quick conversation that will get them up to speed. Here are a few examples of election conversations I have stumbled into over the last few weeks: When is the Election? I wore a Karl Dean for Governor campaign sticker into one of the Bellevue Twice Daily locations last week. The clerk asked me, “The governor’s race already happened, right?” Rather than shake our heads when our neighbors don’t know when an election is, let’s give someone credit for asking. Election Day is November 6. Early voting starts on October 17. Have you checked your voter registration? I was talking with a friend last week who isn’t politically active. I asked him whether he is registered to vote. He said, “I voted in the Trump-Clinton election. So I think so.” I asked him to check his registration at https://proudvoter.org/tep on his phone. His registration did not show up. But he can correct that before October 9, which is the voter registration deadline in Tennessee. I wonder how many of our friends are in for an unpleasant surprise when they show up at the polls. Let’s reach out to our friends as soon as we can so that they are ready to go. What have you heard about the candidates? One night I was at Legend’s in Lebanon, where they play great 80s music, by the way. As I was getting my check, I asked the server, “So what have you heard about the Governor’s race.” “Nothing really,” she said. That reminded me that the conversations we have might be the first or the main source of information people have about a particular race this year. Just asking a simple question might give you the opening to pick up another vote for a pro-equality candidate.

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How can I register to vote? Last week I was at East Nashville Beer Works for Jim Shulman’s election night watch party. A friend and I were talking about online voter registration while we were in line (yes, I really do have geeky political conversations at breweries). I showed him our business cards with the voter registration link and the scannable QR code. Someone overheard our conversation and said, “Actually I need one of those cards. I’m not registered.” Isn’t it great that she took the initiative in that moment!. You don’t need a card to help your friends get registered, though. You can simply send them this link: https://proudvoter.org/tep/. The way I see it, any of us can have conversations like the ones that I have had over the last few weeks. It comes down to a few simple pieces of information that we should keep at hand: Deadline to Register to Vote: October 9 Early Voting Starts: October 17 Election Day: November 6 Link to Register or Check Registration: https://proudvoter.org/tep/ There are thousands of people in our networks who don’t know the basics. The campaigns are trying to inform them, but your friends are more likely to listen to you. The election really is in our hands. Chris Sanders is the executive director of the Tennessee Equality Project.

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VOTE NOW

VOTING IS NOW OPEN FOR OUR

2018 READERS’ CHOICE AWARDS O&AN Faves & Raves – our LGBT readers’ choice awards – begins its voting process on Saturday, September 1. Readers can log onto the O&AN website September 1 – October 24 and vote for their favorite LGBT and LGBT-friendly individuals, businesses, and community events in over 50 categories. Winners will be unveiled and featured in the O&AN year-end Faves & Raves issue in December.

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Celebrating 16 YEARS of bringing Tennesseans LGBT NEWS.

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OCTOBER 2018

PLANS FOR AN LGBTQ+ AFFIRMING CHURCH IN MURFREESBORO ANNOUNCED JULIE CHASE | @NOTNINAHAGEN

Cynthia Andrews-Looper has come home and is doing well. Four years after leaving a church she built from the ground up, the Reverend Cynthia feels called to ministry once again. She has been dropping hints on her social media accounts for a few weeks now, but she finally let the cat out of the bag on the day of Boro Pride. A new church is coming to Middle Tennessee soon, and it will be the first one planned from day one to be an LGBTQ+ affirming church outside of Nashville. Rise Up Community Church will begin as a Bible study group and transition into a church plant in the MurfreesboroSmyrna area, according to Andrews-Looper. Reverend Cynthia said that Rise Up will be a church where everyone will be welcome no matter their background or life experience. She says that she grew up with an evangelical conservative background, but considers herself to be a progressive Christian believer. After leaving her former Church in 2014, she wrote a book soon afterwards about her personal experiences that some felt to be controversial. The book told her personal story as a minister and as an open lesbian back in the days when being out could ruin someone personally and professionally. She told her side of the story about leaving her former church and addressed deeply personal issues that left her emotionally wounded, but still standing. “I’ve walked through some dark moments, but what I have realized is that I am stronger than I was ever aware of,” Reverend Cynthia said. “I realize that God has been with me all along the way and have been able to come out on the other side with a message

of hope.” Reverend Cynthia said that she has had some challenging years since leaving her former Nashville-based church, but she has been learning lessons and applying them to her current life. She said that she is in a good place today and feels that now is the right time for her to come back into active ministry. She is thankful that there are more affirming churches in our community than when she started many years ago, but feels there is still room for other voices too. “I believe God’s love is for all people and that God has a purpose and design for us and loves us just as we are,” Reverend Cynthia said. “There’s nothing we can do that will make God love us less... God is love and God loves us. That’s the heartbeat of my message.” For more information about this church, visit Rise Up Community Church on Facebook.

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LGBT COMMUNITY SUFFERS FROM FINANCIAL INEQUALITY SEXUAL MINORITIES POORER THAN STRAIGHT PEERS STAFF

Sexual minorities in the U.S. have fewer economic resources than their straight peers and the gap is more pronounced among women, according to a new study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law. Researchers analyzed data gathered from 14,051 participants in the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health and found that sexual minority women were more likely to be near poor, receive public assistance and report economic hardship in the past year. In addition, sexual minority women were less likely to graduate from college and were twice as likely to be unemployed, compared to heterosexual women. Among women, sexual orientation inequities in homeownership were more pronounced for whites than racial minorities. However, rates of homeownership were the lowest for Black and Latina sexual minority women and were the highest for heterosexual white women. “Socioeconomic status is a major contributor to health and disease throughout a person’s life,” said lead author Kerith Conron, Blachford-Cooper Distinguished Scholar and Research Director at the Williams Institute. “Understanding the extent and nature of sexual orientation differences in socioeconomic status is essential to reducing health inequities, particularly as the population of sexual minorities grows and ages.” Fewer sexual orientation differences in economic status existed for men. Sexual minority men were more likely than their straight peers to have a college education. Yet, they earned less and were more likely to report economic hardship in the past year than straight men, which could indicate that sexual minority men face wage discrimination.

In addition, socioeconomic status among men differed by race. White sexual minority men were less likely than white heterosexual men to be among the highest earners. But Black and Latino sexual minority men did better economically than their Black and Latino heterosexual peers. “These patterns suggest that multiple forms of inequality, as well as factors that promote resilience, must be considered in analyses of the diverse LGBT community,” said Conron. “Moreover, findings emphasize the need to include LGBT measures in large surveys conducted by the US Census Bureau, including the American Community Survey and the Survey of Income and Program Participation, in order to better track, understand, and respond to observed economic inequities.” The report, “Sexual orientation and sex differences in socioeconomic status: a population-based investigation in the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health,” appears in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health and is co-authored by Kerith J. Conron, Blachford-Cooper Distinguished Scholar and Research Director at the Williams Institute, along with Shoshana K. Goldberg, Research Assistant Professor at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, and Carolyn T. Halpern, Professor, Department of Maternal and Child Health, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. The Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, a think tank on sexual orientation and gender identity law and public policy, is dedicated to conducting rigorous, independent research with real-world relevance.

“These patterns suggest that multiple forms of inequality, as well as factors that promote resilience, must be considered in analyses of the diverse LGBT community.”

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

OCTOBER 2018

MAKE YOUR OKTOBERFEST A NASHVILLE EXPERIENCE the weather will start to cool, and the leaves will start to change color. Autumn is upon us, and with it comes on of the season’s favorite festivities, Oktoberfest! As Music City’s culinary star has risen, so have the number of craft breweries and distilleries based in our own back yard. It’s now entirely possible to celebrate Oktoberfest for an entire month, imbibing only the best local brands. You could try something new every day and not run out of options before Halloween! This month’s cover is meant to highlight some of those local brands, many of which feature local brand-centric taprooms and many others which are popular at our favorite local gay bars.

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CORSAIR DISTILLERY Corsair Distillery became licensed in the state of Tennessee in 2010, and by 2012 it had been awarded “Craft Distillery of the Year” and “Innovator of the Year” by Whisky Magazine. Corsair is housed at Marathon Motorworks Village, the former location of Yazoo Brewery, is the site of the company’s distilling operation in Tennessee, and now houses a 240 gallon still from the 1920s that survived Prohibition. Corsair produces a wide variety of spirits, from gin to whiskey and even a red absinthe, all of which are spectacular. Editor James Grady puts this distillery at the top of the list because the company’s signature gin is “out of this world … definitely my favorite Tennessee spirit!” Corsair has a taproom and offers distillery tours at its location at 1200 Clinton Street

YAZOO BREWING COMPANY This local favorite produces a wide variety of local craft beers, from seasonal concoctions to locally historic brews. The latter includes the Gerst Amber Ale, Nashville’s oldest beer. Gerst Amber Ale was the recipe of the Gerst House, a recently-closed local legend, and was passed along to Yazoo to keep its beer legacy alive in the community. Yazoo has also been supportive of LGBT community groups, such as the Nashville Grizzlies, whose Christmas party the brewery’s Taproom has hosted for the last few years. Check them out at 910 Division Street.

DISKIN CIDERY

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PHOTOS: COURTESY OF FACEBOOK

Relatively new to the scene, Diskin is Nashville’s first and as yet only craft cidery. Their sweet-tart deliciousness can be found on tap or by the can at bars and restaurants across Middle Tennessee, and the cidery’s tasting room now hosts weekend brunches, as well as other events, in addition to regular tastings. Made locally, Diskin Ciders translate Nashville into their recipes, with offerings like Lil’ Blondie Semi-sweet Southern Cider and Six One Five Fruit Tea Cider. Check out some of their concoctions at your favorite local spot, or at their tasting room at 1235 Martin Street

Black Abbey Brewery is a local artisanal brand that produces a beer based on the long tradition of German monastic brewing. This brewery offers tastings in its taproom and tours of its facilities at 2952 Sidco Drive. East Nashville Beer Works—open 7 days a week—is a neighborhood favorite. This is due in no small part to their dog-friendly beer garden! This family-friendly location also features a great menu including pizza and salads. Check them out at 320 E. Trinity Lane, or find them on tap at your favorite watering hole. Jack Daniel Distillery is the oldest registered distillery in the United States. Visitors receive personally-guided tours of the distillery, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, and observe the famous whiskey-making process Mr. Jack Daniel perfected back in 1866. It’s a little drive from Nashville to Lynchburg, but definitely worth an afternoon! Nashville Craft Distillery is fairly new to the scene. Since 2016, Nashville Craft Distillery, founded by a forensic scientist, has produced small-batch spirits from scratch, with a focus on local and regional ingredients. Earlier this year, a New York Times article, “Five Places to Go in Nashville,” featured this distillery. Short Mountain Distillery was among the first in Tennessee to recapture the hallowed art of moonshine making for the modern consumer. Departing from touristy attempts to utilize poor-quality, highly flavored neutral spirits, owner Billy Kaufman studied traditional Tennessee recipes for shine and has created a line of high-quality spirits. Short Mountain Distillery is also LGBT owned and operated, so if you haven’t yet, give them a try! Turtle Anarchy Brewing Company is a family-owned microbrewery in Nashville. What started as a weekend hobby shared by brothers grew into a 5,600 craft brewhouse in Franklin, Tennessee, in 2012, and a much larger facility in Nashville in 2015. Their mission is to brew flavorful, dynamic, and unique beers. This is just a small selection of the local, craft and artisanal outfits producing quality alcoholic beverages. So this October, as the ghosts and goblins begin to stir, drink responsibly, but get out there and try something new, maybe one of Nashville’s frightfully good spirits!

“I’VE COME TO REALLY ENJOY NASHVILLE BREWING COMPANIES LAGER. IT’S NOT TOO HOPPY AND NOT TOO WHEATY, BUT LEAVES A SLIGHT CITRIC FLAVOR ON YOUR TASTE BUDS. TO ME, IT’S THE PERFECT LIGHT LAGER FOR A WARM DAY.” - GABRIEL DIANGELI

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“I CAN’T SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT PICKERS BLUEBERRY VODKA! BLUEBERRY IS MY FAVORITE FLAVOR, AND PICKERS HAVE DONE IT JUSTICE. SLIGHTLY SWEET, WITH A MINIMUM BITE, AND BECAUSE IT’S ACTUALLY MADE WITH FRESH BLUEBERRIES, YOU KNOW IT HAS A VERY CRISP TASTE. BECAUSE THE VODKA ITSELF HAS SUCH AN AMAZING FLAVOR, I DON’T WANT TO RUIN IT BY ADDING TOO MUCH ELSE WHEN I MAKE A DRINK WITH IT. A LITTLE SPRITE, A SPLASH OR FRESH LEMON JUICE, AND IF YOU’VE GOT A BIG SWEET TOOTH LIKE ME, MAYBE ADD A LITTLE TRIPLE SEC TO SPRUCE IT UP AND MAKE THE BLUEBERRY REALLY POP!” - GABRIEL DIANGELI

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

OCTOBER 2018

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PLAY Dance Bar 1519 Church Street | Nashville, TN 37203 615-322-9627 | playdancebar.com

Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 | bartdurham.com

Look East (Optometrist) 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-928-2281 | lookeastnashville.com Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 | coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza 615-371-1210 Skyline Medical 615-724-0066 npspharmcay.com SPIRITUALITY Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville TN 37209 615-352-3838 | htccnashville.com PERFORMING ARTS Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 | nashvillesymphony.org

Tribe 1517 Church Street | Nashville, TN 37203 615-329-2912 | tribenashville.com REAL ESTATE Sheila Barnard, Realtor THE REALTY ASSOCIATION 1305 Murfreesboro Rd | Nashville, TN 37212 615-385-9010 sheilabarnard.realtyassociation.com Kate Nelson, Realtor VILLAGE REAL ESTATE 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-383-6964 | realestatewithkate.com

Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce P.O. Box 330971 | Nashville, TN 37203 615-507-5185 | nashvillelgbtchamber.org

John Cannon Studios 1108-C Woodland Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-496-1259 | johncannonart.com PET SERVICES Wags & Whiskers Pet Supplies & Dog Wash 1008 Forrest Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-228-9249 | wagsandwiskersnashville.com

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

LIVING & DATING WITH HIV The Good, The Bad, and How to Stay Positive JOSH ROBBINS

I found out that I was positive because I got really, really sick. I had every symptom in the book which is a good thing and a bad thing. All the way from night sweats, to the chills, to feeling like I had the flu. And even the mouth ulcers, they were all a part of it. I called up a clinic on a Friday and I wasn’t able to see them until the following Tuesday. That was the longest weekend in my life. Once I found out I was positive, I felt like I had the weight of the world on me – particularly being in Nashville, because literally the day that I received my diagnosis there were posters all over the bathrooms throughout the city that were geared toward HIV negative men for a vaccine study, and I was one of the poster boys at that time for the study. So here I was, disappointed in the fact that I was now positive. Then a lot of other emotions came. I was tired, I physically didn’t feel well, I wondered what other people would think. I was scared, and I felt completely alone. I was 29 years old and not one person had ever told me in my life that they were living with HIV. Because I didn’t know anyone that was living with the virus, I wanted to provide a resource and a place for my journey to be documented so that I could tell that story in a way that was honest and transparent, which is how [imstilljosh] came to be. My advocacy is about reaching people in the moment of diagnosis who are struggling and making decisions on what to do next. Having that kind of resource can be a life saver for people as there’s data out there showing that newly diagnosed men with HIV are five times more likely to commit suicide within that first year of diagnosis. And so, the message that I have always tried to continually share and recognize is just staying alive

and positive, because having HIV doesn’t make you alone or unlovable. You have to take care of yourself and keep fighting. I’ve been living with HIV for six years now, and unfortunately, some things haven’t changed since my initial diagnosis. There’s still stigma, and there’s still fearmongering going on all the time. But some things have changed since 2012. For instance, PrEP came out just after I was diagnosed and is now very well-known, and its availability has helped educate some of the community and has lowered fears and anxiety for people that are negative to be able to date or have sex with somebody that has tested positive for HIV. Then undetectable equals un-transmittable, that movement came out in 2016 and has made a big difference. U=U means there is literally “zero risk” at all with somebody with an undetectable viral load, and that has really helped shape people’s perception and fear or anxiety of somebody living with HIV in context of dating them or having sex with them. Another major thing that has changed is that I am no longer in a relationship. I was lucky enough right after the time of my diagnosis to find someone who was educated about it and wasn’t scared of me —someone who became my partner, best friend, and support system during the start of my journey living well with HIV. I got pretty lucky. He’s a great guy and I wished we would have worked out, but we didn’t. I still care for him a lot. It’s always difficult to let a relationship go. I made it through that tough part. But, now I am once again in uncharted territory…dating while living with an HIV diagnosis. This has lined up with an exciting opportunity to be a part of DatingPositives, a new dating platform specifically meant for people living with incurable STIs. Part of my work with DatingPositives is

“I want to encourage people to continue to live their lives no matter what situation or what circumstance is put in front of them.”

contributing stories for their online magazine, WAXoh, specifically a video series called Life with Josh, which chronicles my experiences in the dating world. While [imstilljosh] is very much focused on HIV-related news and advocacy, DatingPositives is giving me an opportunity to give a glimpse into my life in a way that I’ve never done before. I’m giving a more personal, intimate view into what I’m thinking, what I’m experiencing and what my life is. By providing a more unfiltered view into who I am and what I’m about, I’m hoping other people can watch the series and see themselves and their experiences in a different way. I want to encourage people to continue to live their lives no matter what situation or what circumstance is put in front of them. Like, getting stood up on the first date. Spoiler alert, that happens to me on episode two! I honestly never thought it would, but I know other people appreciate seeing that they’re not the only one this kind of thing happens to. I’m excited to get into different topics down the line: sex on the first (or second, or third) date, how to have conversations on exclusivity, decoding text messages, etc. These are all things anyone dating has to go through, but on my journey, HIV is another factor. People have been asking me what I’m looking for. Truth is, I’m looking for somebody who is unpredictably simple. I’m looking for somebody who believes as much as me that integrity matters. And I’m looking for somebody who isn’t perfect. I’m looking for somebody that can laugh as much as they can do anything else in life. I think too many times in relationships we start with a list of all these requirements. And that’s not what I’m looking for.

People have also been asking me, why DatingPositives? Some people think that a dating site catering to positive people creates further stigma, but I disagree in this case. First of all, you don’t need an STI to join DatingPositives, as long as your vibes are positive. But more importantly, for those of us living with an STI, it can be so incredible to know that people on the site will understand where you’re coming from, and what you’ve gone through. Because some people still believe that if they ignore, or block, or really act like we don’t exist in the world that they can’t contract HIV. People have blocked me on other dating apps or dating websites because I have HIV, when the reality is that people like me – who know their status, who are medicated and undetectable – are the people they should least fear. It’s the people who say they’re negative, but they’re only assumed negative or maybe they’ve just never been tested, who pose the most risk. This is all part of the journey for me. I’m excited for what the future holds, and excited to share my stories via DatingPositives. Whether you want to just become friends, or you want to hook up, or you want to go on a date, or you’re looking for that right match for you for life, the choice is there. And this is an amazing choice.

Josh Robbins is an award winning sexual health advocate, author of the site imstilljosh.com and paid spokesperson for DatingPositives.com. He was nominated for a GLAAD media award in 2017 and recently won the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s Excellence Award in the blogging category.

MURFREESBORO SHOWS ITS TRUE COLORS 3RD ANNUAL PRIDE FESTIVAL BRINGS SUPPORTERS TOGETHER STEPHEN RAY ALBERS

If asked what color someone associates with The Boro, the answer would most likely be blue—True Blue, the official color of MTSU. However, on September 8, 2018, it would have been the beautiful array of colors belonging to the LGBT community. Unofficially, everything kicked off Friday night at The Boro Bar and Grill, an establishment well known for its support of the rainbow, with a golden drag performance. The actual event began the following day with a march of pride around the historic, former, state capital building located on the square. Autumn Martin, with her mother Sheila at her side, arrived just in time to participate. “We got there just in time for the march, and really liked that we walked alongside Zac Woodward [from 107.5 The River’s “Woody & Jim Show”].” This was only one aspect of the event the Martins’ enjoyed. “We liked that there were a lot of kids and animals running around. It was full of loveness (sic)… I can’t wait to go again next year, and bring more of my best friends with me.” Festival committee member Leslie Russell Yost, who was very proud of the diversity represented, said, “This year’s event was a great snapshot of our community. LGBTQA [folks] were all out in attendance, and all communed with one another as neighbors.” Continuing on she stated, “The TEP (Tennessee Equality Project) and The BoroPride planning committees were thrilled with the turnout and support of the community.” Leslie estimates attendance was over 4,000, up by 1,500 compared to last year. The executive director of the TEP, Chris Sanders said, “The large number of youth and college students impressed me this year.” He added, “When I talked to people my age, they noted that they never would have guessed that their home town would host a Pride festival on the square… That tells me the event meets a real need in the community.” Contributing to the success of the event were the sponsors, vendors, event t-shirt sales, volunteers, event committee, and most importantly those out there getting their Pride on. Without their support BoroPride wouldn’t exist. For the full version of this story, with more insights from attendees and more about the entertainment, visit outandaboutnashville.com

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

OCTOBER 2018

PHOTOS: JULIE CHASE, JAMES GRADY, MICHAEL MAUPINS

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

OVER

the RAINBOW

C H ANGE I S I N T HE W IND

JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

The first thing you see when you walk inside our house is the book collection. Last time it was tallied up for insurance purposes, roughly three thousand paperbacks and five hundred hardcover books graced the shelves surrounding the living and sitting rooms downstairs. They mostly belong to Soulmate; I tend to keep my far smaller collection upstairs by my bedside...mainly because I’m lazy. We met in college and very clandestinely shared a room in the women’s dorm near the campus library. The library was our public hangout. Our college was just getting computers when we began...and phone service to the dorm rooms when we left. There was no Internet back then and very few of my gang really watched television. When not studying or going to Mass, we mostly read a lot. It was a different world then. Frankly, Soulmate and I never truly left it. May I confess something embarrassing? I only learned how to use the Internet just a few months before my surgery last year. The skill set was long overdue, and my recovery period would call for a distraction beside the dusty tomes of nonfiction I regularly consume. I still struggle with social media, but daughter-unit did take the time to show me the wonders of Netflix and YouTube (I caught up with Alphaville and Modern Talking vids at long last). For these reasons, and a few more, it is far easier for Gen X’ers like us to turn the overheated social media chatter off. Our daughter tends to keep us up to speed with the latest trends when not busy crafting with her sewing machine. We grew up without the distractions (save for MTV...priorities people!) but we sometimes do miss out because we are not tuned in 24/7. I do envy the choices that Millennials and younger have open to them through the technology, but I also

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

know from experience that stillness and quiet often leads to a good bit of clarity. We got some clarity this week. As I write… a new Deep Throat-type figure has emerged onto American history, and just a few days later, more figures whispering from the shadows are claiming that they are not responsible for what the current occupant of the White House has been doing, but by golly they have been saving all of us from what he really wanted to do! Now put your phones down and think for a second. What does this truly mean? My takes only here: 1. The subordinates have gotten a good look at the internal polls for November and are starting to save themselves. 2. A prosecutor, elected official, or senior legislators may demand a resignation from someone in return for putting out a dumpster fire, and the subordinates are starting to save themselves. 3. Someone is about to do something big like firing a prosecutor, unleashing a firestorm on par with or bigger than Watergate, AND THE SUBORDINATES ARE STARTING TO SAVE THEMSELVES! Titanic, meet Iceberg. It’s just a matter of time now and there is already a queue for the lifeboats. When you see the rats fleeing the ship, it’s most likely a goner. This is going to end, and probably far sooner than any of us truly expect. Now this does not mean that we do not have problems on our front burner. The latest news for us to worry about as of this writing is another legal effort to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people in the workplace (Bring it! Even the most conservative Supreme Court Justice in modern American history will not want their name linked to a labor law decision that would potentially rival Dred Scott for its infamy.) The potential appointment of another arch-conservative to the high court is a far

OCTOBER 2018

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

It’s going to get a little bumpy but don’t be fooled. We’re headed for a resolution.

bigger threat in the long-term, but there are only so many things we can do about that one. We now know that elections do matter, and the best response will be the show up and vote for those who have our backs every single time. The damage has been done, and it will take a good twenty years or so to fully clean up the mess, but we have done this before and we will do it again. This community has survived legalized bigotry and AIDS. We will survive our generation’s brush with fascism in the same manner: by openly living our truth and encouraging the next generation of LGBTQ+ people to go us one better. But friends, I feel it is safe to say that the change in the weather may perhaps augur a change in direction. As we run up towards November, you are going to see and hear a lot of noise over your social media accounts. Turn it off for a few, step outside for a walk over the newly fallen leaves and take in a big breath of that crisp fall air mixed with the smoke that only comes from Tennessee hickory wood. Change is coming. Very soon… Be ready.

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman.

Your Nashville Symphony Live at the Schermerhorn JAMES GREGORY

THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA

IN CONCERT

oct. 25 & 26

oct. 28

RUSSIAN MASTERS

HALLOWEEN MOVIE NIGHT

PHANTOM

OF THE OPERA

FEATURING TCHAIKOVSKY’S PIANO CONCERTO NO. 1 CLASSICAL SERIES

oct. 30

oct. 29

BÉLA FLECK, EDGAR MEYER & ZAKIR HUSSAIN

nov. 2 & 3

nov. 4

THE MUSIC OF

THE MAVERICKS POPS SERIES

nov. 8 to 10

THE ROLLING STONES

STRAVINSKY, RAVEL & STRAUSS nov. 11

CLASSICAL SERIES

NOV. 16 & 17 AN E VENING WITH ANNIE LEIBOV ITZ

NOV. 18

NOV. 20

NOV. 27

James Gregory, The Tenors, Phantom of the Opera, Béla Fleck, Edgar Meyer & Zakir Hussain, Maxwell, Jim James and Annie Leibovitz presented without orchestra.

615.687.6400 NashvilleSymphony.org

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

WITH SUPPORT FROM 1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

MAKES ITS TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO NASHVILLE

OCT 24 – NOV 4 ON SALE NOW! TPAC.ORG/Phantom • 615-782-4040 Groups of 10 or more call 615-782-4060

Show presented

O U T A N D A B O U T N Aby S H V I L L E .CO M

OCTOBER 2018

TPAC.org is the official online source for buying tickets to TPAC events.