on MIGHT on relationships
“Until death do us part.”1 to “Throughout all the worlds of God.”2
Christian marriage vow from the Book of Common Prayer. Baha’i quote on marriage from Abdu’l-Baha.
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One Report is spiritually-minded content for and by young people. This publication is borne from a reflection of the teachings of the Baha’i Faith and many of our contributors are Baha’is, but not all. The goal is for One Report to offer space for people from all faith backgrounds and beliefs to discuss issues of faith and spirituality. In a time of turmoil, One Report hopes to be a source of unity and collaboration. It is an opportunity for young people to learn from one another and share reflections that feel relevant, pressing, stirring, and elevated. Thank you.
One Report is edited by Anisa Tavangar with Maya Mansour. Images in this issue are by Samira Saunders.
WALKING INTO THE OCEAN Written by Alexandra Findlay
A few weeks ago I walked into the ocean with the hope that I might float on the water. I’ve learned that the ocean is a good place to experience a healthy dose of fear, remind me of my smallness, and surrender control to the power of nature.
Lately, I feel as though I’m stuck in a loop: same town, same job, same relationship status. Walking into the ocean every so often is my self-prescribed remedy—a way to shake things up. While I know what my limits are, I also know where to push myself a little further, and pushing myself into the unfamiliar has come in handy in the search for a mate. Dating is basically a suspension between extreme terror of the unknown and thrilling excitement at the possibility “In what seems like of connecting with another soul. Dating is search for a partne this life with, I tumb a lot like walking into the ocean.
over again, defeate
In order to float, you must swim past the might of it all.” breaker toward the swells, where, before a wave crests, it has a slow, smooth roll. It builds out of sight under the big blue before crashing the shore. When I walked into the ocean on this day, my body did not make it to the gentle rumble, the water proving itself more mighty. Caught in the breaker, tossed and tumbled by three consecutive waves, my body was plunged and pulled
e an endless er to share ble over and ed by the
under. Submerged in swirling blues and muffled sounds of swooshing, I was surprised by how calm I felt. As I caught my footing and rose out of the water, I smiled and felt refreshed. Laughing, I stumbled to shore, my whole body tingling, like each one of my cells had just been power washed. I was energized. I was recharged. That’s the thing about being thrown by waves, once you get your footing, you walk out of the ocean renewed. Even outside of the water, my body encounters the surging of waves. In what seems like an endless search for a partner to share this life with, I tumble over and over again, defeated by the might of it all. Might, meaning both power and possibility, reminds me of faith, strength and steadfastness. What feels like constant defeat is constant protection. With each toss I build a great resilience, discovering more of myself in the process. Understanding my strength, my worth, my desire more clearly. Pendulous between terror and thrill, somehow I remain both open to wipeout and hopeful I might make it past the breakers.
EFfort is rest Written by Parisa Rowhani-Farid
he asked me how i knew that we were right for each other that you were my truth i said that i didn’t i’d never truly know “right” is a fantasy a mere outward show ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said that when a man has love effort comes easy and can be likened to rest effort is what matters the environment we create characterised by patience the decision to wait
things aren’t perfect they’ll never be but if with love, effort is a rest, then love becomes the key “a love that sweeps away all barriers a love that conquers all foes” a love from now until forever god only knows. “where love dwells, there is light” and yet, love is almost equal to habit the never-ending process of refinement of turning flaws into magic adjusting to one another learning how to fit best finding out the quirks and the sensitive areas not to press learning how to love you trying my daily best striving forever as effort is rest
“Be dissolved in the fire of love. In this city the heaven of ecstasy is upraised and the world-illuming sun of yearning shineth, and the fire of love is ablaze; and when the fire of love is ablaze, it burneth to ashes the harvest of reason.” The Seven Valleys; The Valley of Love Baha’u’llah
Unconditional & impermanent Written by Cat Francis
Everything I learned about love as a child was a lie. When I think about the ways in which I was taught about God’s unconditional love, it was always married with the unavoidable promise of hell, which programmed me to relate love to suffering. This demanded that I fix myself to fit the shape of a certain way to live. If I did not abide by God’s rules or the rules of a romantic partner, I would fall to hardship.
“Some of these bonds rewrote
The lack of true my narrative of love, making me a explanation as to victim of narcissism, while others why things had to turned me into a villain, seeking be this way made me feel small, power through manipulation. At hopeless, and times I found myself wondering if trapped. When I I even deserve love.” saw my mother pair her understanding of unconditional love with her need to be loved, I saw how it allow herself to be used, misshapen, and eventually abandoned. She was first abandoned by my father and then another person who did not understand what it meant to love unconditionally, or really, love at all. As all children do, I fell heir to her nature. I subconsciously adopted the habit of loving co-dependently and compulsively needing my lover’s approval, just as I needed God’s approval. While I inherited a narrative of giving love to a fault, I simultaneously inherited an attraction to
people who need love and attention to a fault. The connections I made were toxic and unfruitful. Some of these bonds rewrote my narrative of love, making me a victim of narcissism, while others turned me into a villain, seeking power through manipulation. At times I found myself wondering if I even deserve love. Is love even real? Where does romance fit? Do we tend to the Ego in any capacity? Or ignore it for true happiness? My most recent relationship was one that challenged my understanding of unconditional love. It met my desire for balanced companionship: wanting to feel the kind of love that filled me but did not drown me. While many of my needs were met, ultimately, the ways I needed (and still need) to heal made it so the partnership could not blossom any further
"If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path." Buddha
romantically. It is left to be seen if it will grow in any other direction. Most relationships end, in one way or another, through death, or through some understanding that we are not serving or being served to compliment our highest good. Buddha says that Equanimity, the desire to accept things as they are without trying to change them, is one of the main components of true love. I’ve learned that impermanence is a reality. This fact is growing to be more of a relevant remembrance as each of my relationships end, and begin elsewhere. I learn more and more that the most important love is the love I have for myself. Unconditional love is being in service with a conscious understanding of impermanence. Being in service should be from a cup that is full, not a cup dying to be filled.
Estrangement Written by Parisa Rowhani-Farid
i like my tea with cardamom black and brewed for some time two spoons of sugar left to cool for a while i took you the same way adding you to my usual routine thinking i didn’t need to make any adjustments that you’d fit right in mixed you into my life without a second thought let you cool for a while before taking the first gulp i had made a terrible mistake as you, my love, were not sugar, but salt with a similar texture the colour identical to a fault
you complement many things perfectly i, however, was not one nor my morning routine, my staple in this, you caught me off guard it was not your place and i was not the one you will suit someone else perfectly i am sure, my love i will sit and watch with joy as you blend into their life removing all traces of estrangement refusing to push you away with estrangement there can be no unity yet, it’s the tale we’re told don’t speak once it’s over let one another go once my best friend degraded to a memory sugar and salt can exist in one space with love, for the sake of unity
To; From Written by Yasmine Ayman to Nick Gauthier
Getting to know you is like a refreshing breeze and weightless anchor. I feel like I am discovering my own faith and spirituality all over again, as I am asked to expound and elucidate from the inner depths of my own understanding. Far from just prompting the logical, you ask for the cornerstones of my faith, reaching out to my highest and deepest aspirations as well as my nearest beliefs and desires. As Independent Investigation of Truth is one of the biggest responsibilities of being a Baha’i, I feel like I have met and truly felt this responsibility over and over again through teaching you, a person I truly care for and admire. As you may have realized, spiritual principles are at the forefront of our relationship, and we hearken back to the Baha’i teachings, even if at times indirectly, to guide and fortify our own paths. I think spirituality manifests itself through genuine curiosity and awe for the world around us, dedication to each other and to our friends, as well as faith in the future and what I believe to be the Will of God. In short, as both an anchor and breeze, you have helped me grow closer to my faith and to God, and have helped me fearlessly challenge my knowledge with love and trust. Your patience has helped me grow and spread my wings, and I can only hope that in doing so, I have enriched your growth and progress too.
to; from Written by Nick Gauthier to Yasmine Ayman
In many ways, hearing the word “spirituality” sends a shudder down my spine, evoking memories of confusion, frustration, and impatience from a time when attending church was an obligation that lacked the sense of fulfillment I now feel. Spirituality has a new ring to it, a budding beauty, which I attribute to a journey I’m in the midst of with you. When I first met you, I was drawn by your bright light, seen in everything from your smile to your passions. Far more expressive and unreserved than I, you are constantly at the threshold of your deep-seated faith and your desire to exhibit it out in the world, longing to share it with humanity. It’s this light that I use to navigate my own reservations, preconceptions, and misconceptions about what it means to be spiritual, each and every day. Your steadfastness to your faith has continuously compelled me to approach something that discomforts me, confuses me, and disheartens me. I approach with hope and trust in the thought that if I get close enough to the edge of your light, a light that transcends individuals, I will experience comfort, clarity, and profound love. Our relationship is a conduit for personal growth— learning from each other’s strengths to challenge the fortitude of our weaknesses, depending on a spiritual connection. The connection is one that lights my darkened path while it brightens yours, fulfilling its purpose.
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.� Ephesians 4:2-3
pt i exposure Written by Milena Bee
// mysterious white blood cell count or, early onset desire, in a lifetime where desire is no longer classified as a sickness. // april 16th and you wait, in bed, nude, asleep, alone until i come to you, awaiting confessional, repentant, framed in velvet and so, it has been at least two months since my last confession prepared to finally open up to you, to face the scorn awaiting us your hands fold over, your breath ghosts me, your glance at my lips, mine mine mine, do you still want me? did you ever? venial sins seem mortal through the light coming from within us. it feels like i haven’t fucked anyone since you. it feels like I can still feel your lips on mine, my ghost, our ectoplasmic reside so similar to the organic/orgasmic layer we leave upon each other.
pt ii CRUCIFIXIUS Written by Milena Bee
if I’m ill, in truth, does my sick saliva threaten to contaminate you, and your blessed breath, forgive me father for I have sinned, become too drunk on the new blood of christ and given myself over to be the new mary magdalene. body of christ forgive me for my oversight, my inability to think straight when your lips are upon mine, a silent blessing bestowed upon me. did you find yourself within me? an apostle for your use, I cry truth while you pay tribute on your knees, all for you if that is what you desire it has been a month since my last confession since my last moment as the lamb of god strung out on holy light
salvation threatens again, lifts me away from you, within your grasp, as i lift away from you i see your smile, relief, your own salvation and the light from within me burns you out. four hail mary’s and you praise this new day, promising repentance never on your knees lest you become familiar neither priest nor priestess but at home amongst selfish pews, mouthing scripture denoting my dedication as a point of interest, a place where you can project your desire onto me, blank canvas, the lamb waiting for slaughter.
"If love did not exist, what of reality would remain? It is the fire of the love of God which renders man superior to the animal. Strengthen this superior force through which is attained all the progress in the world." Abdu'l-Baha
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