GOD’S TIMING IS ALWAYS PERFECT

By Alfie W. Grant

At 28 years old, I seemed to have it all. I was a recent graduate of one of the top business schools in the country, had traveled the world and had many amazing experiences in my short time here on earth. I had just landed a position at a top global commercial real estate firm and returned to the great city of Atlanta to begin the next stage of my career. Additionally, I have two amazing parents who have given me their best, four loving siblings who have done nothing but support me, and an amazing extended family that continually wraps me in a blanket of love. I am an extremely blessed young lady.

Although things seemed to be going well, I really had not imagined myself at this point in my life with no husband in sight. In the midst of working and going to school, I’ve always been praying for God to bless me with a husband, and honestly, I really could not understand why He had not given me one yet. I desired to be someone’s wife, to support my man in all his endeavors, and give him all the love that I had in my heart. I desired to be a wife because I grew up in a two parent household and saw how much each of my parents gave to each other and how much they gave to us, and I wanted the same type of relationship in my life. But for this to happen, I needed a husband. It felt as if God wasn’t hearing my prayers anymore.

I had been dating a guy off and on for nine years in hopes that he would be my husband. We met the summer before my freshman year in college, and although he was a little older than I was, we had a lot in common: we had similar backgrounds,

similar interests, and similar goals, so our friendship naturally blossomed into a relationship that I thought would last forever. But as time went on, I began to notice that what had started off as an innocent first love had transitioned into a tumultuous relationship where I watched him welcome the attention of other women in his life. I thought this was the man I was supposed to marry, so how did we end up here? And how could we recover? Over and over again, I forgave transgressions and even in the times when we actually broke up, I always believed that things would get better so I took him back.

I fought for our relationship and I loved hard. However, hindsight being 20/20, I realize now that I gave up parts of me for that relationship that were never meant to be given to him. I sacrificed my standards and I sacrificed my self-worth for him in ways that seemed minor at the time, but I now know they were detrimental to my selfworth. I accepted things into my spirit from him such as the lying, the infidelity, and the lack of communication because I believed him to be my future husband. But he was not my husband and after nine years, it finally became crystal clear to me that our relationship would never work. Even if he never cheated another day in his life, the trust in our relationship was ruined and I could no longer dedicate myself to our relationship when he was not truly dedicated to it himself.

After coming to this realization, I began to reflect in

the hope that I would not make the same mistakes again in life and have a healthier relationship in the future. But then I began to wonder why God allowed me to experience this pain. I have always known my Heavenly Father to be a protector and provider…so why didn’t He shield me from this sorrow that I experienced over the years? Why did He allow me to make the same mistakes over and over again? When I really stepped back and considered the choices I made during our relationship, I also considered the few times that I consulted God for direction in that relationship. Should I really be questioning God or rather look at myself? Even when I did consult God, it was about the little things in the relationship. But the most important thing that I neglected to consult God about was whether He even approved of our relationship.

Having realized the now obvious error in my ways, I made a conscious decision to always consult God regarding my entire love life. I even went one step further and committed to Him that if it was just me and Him for the rest of my life, I pray that I may be content as a single woman forever.

Wow…I had gone from marriage being my goal to praying to be okay without a husband for the rest of my life. It seemed extreme, but given the nine year situation from which I had just emerged, a total reset of my mind, body, and spirit was due and I welcomed the change.

And yet, God was still working on my behalf.

Fast forward to July of 2010. I received a Facebook comment from a guy named Sean Grant on an article I posted. Sean was a Facebook friend of mine and our paths had crossed numerous times over the years, but no real interaction had materialized. We were members of the same church, and I had seen him perform spoken word and Christian Hip-Hop during our worship services on many occasions. I thought he was quite talented, admired his craft,

and often wondered what his personality was like. We also went to the same college and all of my memories of seeing him on campus included him being very polite and very kind, giving me friendly side hugs when he saw me and inviting me to church events, but never having a full conversation.

His comment to what I had posted was simple yet sweet. It was not like the other malicious responses I had received. This comment turned into more conversation on Facebook, which led to us really getting to know one another. Our similarities and our interests seemed endless.

But as soon as I realized that I may be interested in him, I remembered my commitment that I had made not too long ago to God: to include Him in all parts of my love life, and that meant including Him from the very beginning. I knew that it was extremely early to be thinking this way since Sean had not even asked me for my phone number, but I wanted to be sure that I was honoring my new commitment to Christ. So in that moment, I prayed to God that as this person enters my life, I would always remember that my commitment to Him comes first.

Soon Sean did ask me for my phone number. And in our first conversation, there was such a gentleness in his voice and a natural flow. He made very clear his love for Jesus Christ and that he takes his relationship with Him very seriously. And Jesus remained a topic of our continual conversations. I knew that regardless of the future of this relationship, I had found a friend for life.

The relationship between Sean and I continued to grow as did my relationship with Christ. Sean led me in daily Bible Study and I joined a ministry at our church. I was experiencing transformation and freedom in my life like never before.

Ten months after meeting Sean Grant in the summer of 2010, he proposed. And ten months

after that, on June 9, 2012, we made a commitment before God and our families to honor and cherish one another for the rest of our lives, and to love each other with the heart of God.

his faithfulness, his kindness, his humility and his thoughtfulness. Although my past isn’t perfect, I can say now that God has made everything beautiful… in His own timing. (edited and republished with permission)

There are times when I sit back and wonder why God did not allow me to meet Sean earlier in my life. But what I have learned is that if I say I have faith in God, I have to have faith in His timing. For reasons that only God knows, Sean and I were not to meet until the moment we did and not a second sooner.

Now that we are married, I can see where my past has prepared me for my present and I am able to appreciate attributes of Sean that I may have taken for granted if I had never experienced the dating history that I have.

Alfie Williams Grant is a graduate of Georgia Institute of Technology (B.S.) and Northwestern University (M.B.A). She is a wife and mother and feels blessed to be walking in God’s purpose for her relationship. She and her family live in Kennesaw, GA and attend One Church ATL.

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