Qnotes October 29, 2021 by QnotesCarolinas

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Oct. 29-Nov. 11, 2021 Vol 36 No 14

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In collaboration with the Cherry Grove Archives Collection, the exhibit “Safe/ Haven” showcases photographs from the 1950s of LGBTQ people in Cherry Grove, N.Y., a popular vacation spot at the time.

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11 In ‘40s and ‘50s, Instant Photography Gave LGBTQ People a ‘Safe/Haven’ 14 ‘ Raising Ollie: How My Nonbinary Art-Nerd Kid Changed (Nearly) Everything I Know’ 17 Tell Trinity 18 Screen Savor

Our People: JennyJaymes Gunns

Meet Jenny-Jaymes, forme Vice President, Communications and LGBT Community liaison for the National Organization for Women (Charlotte Chapter).

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6 In Memoriam: Trans Deaths Continue To Surge 8 Now Hear This: Voice Feminizing Surgery 10 An Activist’s Fight To Reclaim a Notorious Slur Used Against LGBTQ Mexicans 16 Ophelia and Shingles 19 Our People: JennyJaymes Gunns

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news Wesley Mancini Wins Pinnacle Award for Fabric Design

Wesley Mancini is a well-known and successful artist and businessman, not just in Charlotte and North Carolina, but around the globe and, more specifically, in the field of textile design for furniture fabrics. Just this past Oct. 18, Mancini attended the International Society of Furniture Designers Pinnacle Awards Ceremony, where two of his designs were chosen as finalists for the first time fabric design was included as a category. Of the four nominated, his Bauman fabric design was chosen as the winner. Alongside a beaming photo on Facebook of Mancini with his award, he posted the following: “At the 25th anniversary of the International Society of Furniture Designers Pinnacle Awards ceremony [with] the inaugural inclusion of fabric design as a category, two of the four finalists for our industry were mine. I’m happy to say I won!” Hundreds of Mancini’s friends and acquaintances offered words of support and congratulations on his profile. That comes as no surprise, especially because he’s been so actively involved with arts and culture (both here and around the country) and the local LGBTQ community for many years. His devotion to support of both likely grew out of a response to the controversy surrounding the 1996 Charlotte staging of “Angels in America,” a play with gay and HIV/AIDSrelated themes. In a strikingly anti-gay response to the presentation, the Mecklenburg County Board of Commissioners voted in 1997 to strip public funding from arts groups they deemed as inappropriate.

Raleigh Joins Wake County in New Non-Discrimination Protections

The Raleigh City Council unanimously voted to join in a new, LGBTQ-inclusive non-discrimination ordinance Tuesday, the day after the ordinance was passed by Wake County. The move makes North Carolina’s capital city the 15th local government in the state to pass such an ordinance since a ban on local non-discrimination ordinances expired late last year. The ban was one of the legacies of 2016’s brutal fight over HB2, the controversial law that excluded lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from statewide nondiscrimination protections. Though House Bill 142 partially repealed HB2, it locked in place a ban on new LGBTQ protections – including nondiscrimination ordinances for employment and housing. In January the town of Hillsborough became the first local government to pass new local protections. The ordinance in Raleigh and Wake County offer protections against discrimination based on “sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression” as well as national origin and ancestry, color, ethnicity, religious belief, disability and things like veteran status or the wearing of natural hair or hairstyles. The protections apply in places of public accommodation like restaurants and hotels as well as in employment. State law continues to govern access to multiple occupancy restrooms, showers or changing facilities. They are not covered by any of the new local ordinances and religious organizations continue to be exempt.

Waiting for an Apology: Faith Leaders Pressure Lt. Gov. Robinson For Anti-LGBTQ Remarks

In Raleigh on October 11 and again on October 15, faith and community leaders representing more than 20 organizations and more than 380,000 LGBTQ North Carolinians came together to make three simple demands of North Carolina’s Lt. Governor Mark Robinson. 1. Apologize for the hateful language and attacks on the LGBTQ+ community. 2. Begin face-to-face meetings with impacted persons, community, and faith leaders. 3. If the aforementioned requests aren’t met, resign. Organizers of the effort have yet to receive a direct response from Robinson. However, in a recorded message released Tuesday, October 12, Robinson stated he would not resign and was dismissive about the harmful nature of his remarks by claiming that he was speaking about books, not people. In response to the Lieutenant Governor’s deflection of hate speech and saying the conversation is about books, Rev. Vance Haywood, Senior Pastor, St. John’s MCC offered the following reply: “We are not yet there in the conversation. We cannot get to the point of discussing books until we get rid of the language used to disparage, harm and attack... “So today, we are only addressing what has been said, how it has affected people, and what needs to be done to make it right. After that, if Mr. Robinson wants to have a civil conversation about books, we can have it.” Over the past three days, additional video has surfaced of Robinson speaking at

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Oct. 29 - Nov. 11, 2021

In response to the local government sanctioning of bigotry and intolerance, Mancini founded the Wesley Mancini foundation in 2000. Over the next decade (and then some) the foundation funded multiple LGBTQ-related nonprofits before bringing the successful project to a close in 2013. Among a multitude of endeavors he has been involved in to improve and empower the impact of arts and culture in the community, Mancini has served on the boards of the McColl Center for Art and Innovation, The Mint Museum of Craft and Design and the Bechtler Museum of Modern Art, among others. He is currently serving on the Arts and Science Council Board. info: bit.ly/3Bh2Kik — David Aaron Moore

Wesley Mancini with his Pinnacle Award. (Photo Credit: Facebook)

“I’m proud to see the Raleigh City Council come together to take action and ensure our city is a place where all people feel protected, respected and safe,” said Raleigh City Council Member Jonathan Melton in a statement Tuesday, “As an LGBTQ person myself, it’s so meaningful to know that my city is striving for inclusivity and dignity for everyone, and as an out elected official I’m grateful to work with colleagues committed to doing the right thing.” With the addition of the state capital city of Raleigh, North Carolina’s five largest cities – including Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro and Winston-Salem – all offer such protections. “We’re so pleased to see Raleigh take this historic step to expand nondiscrimination,” said Kendra Johnson, executive director of Equality NC, “Nearly 30 % of the state’s population is now covered by LGBTQ inclusive ordinances, and this represents a great change for the city of Raleigh and the state of North Carolina. Raleigh has taken a big step forward to protect LGBTQ people, especially for folks with multiple layers of marginalization, and this only grows momentum for non-discrimination on the local, state and federal level.” Equality NC and the Campaign for Southern Equality have led the charge for new nondiscrimination ordinances, though the NC is Ready for LGBTQ Protections campaign. The groups point to polling that shows 67 percent of North Carolinians support protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination. Polling shows that 67% +of people in North Carolina support protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination. Studies have shown that one in three LGBTQ people – including 3 in 5 transgender people – have experienced discrimination in the past year. This article originally appeared on the website ncpolicywatch.org info: bit.ly/3GfDAEk — Joe Killian

churches and referring to transgender and homosexual people as perverts, unholy, and the antichrist. According to a report in the Fayetteville Observer, as recently as October 1 at a celebration for the far right wing North Carolina Values Coalition, the Lieutenant Governor told the crowd that school boards are “pushing these perverted agendas, to try to teach our children that they’re really not boys or girls, or they’re shoving this homosexuality garbage down their throats.” “There is no question in my mind that Lt. Gov. Robinson intends to hurt and malign people,” says Haywood, “Not only has Mr. Robinson placed countless lives at risk by fanning the flames of ignorance, hate and bigotry of the LGBTQ+ community; he has done it from locations that could imply he is speaking on behalf of the greater Christian community, or possibly even God. Let me be clear; he is not.” Following the October 15 press conference at the Old State Capitol Building in Raleigh, protestors and faith leaders marched past the Legislative Building to the Lieutenant Governor’s Office and then on to Governor Cooper’s office before joining a Freedom Friday Vigil led by Rev. Dr. T. Anthony Spearman, President of the North Carolina chapter of the NAACP. According to the FBI, hate crimes are rising nationally in 2021, and incidents directed toward the LGBTQ community make up roughly 17 percent of those reported. So far, 2021 is on track to be the deadliest year yet for transgender and gender non-conforming people, according to the Human Rights Campaign. The Trevor Project estimates that at least one LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13-24 attempts suicide every 45 seconds in the United States. “From this day forward, the blood is on Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson’s hands for every LGBTQ+ person in North Carolina that dies by suicide, is violently attacked or murdered,” says Haywood. info: bit.ly/3C43NmN — David Aaron Moore

Wake County Passes LGBTQ Non-Discrimination Ordinance

North Carolina’s Wake County passed a non-discrimination ordinance (NDO) October 18 to protect the LGBTQ community. More than one million people live in Wake County, which is home to the state capitol of Raleigh, as well as other municipalities and towns such as Apex, Cary. Fuquay-Varina, Garner, Holly Springs, Knightdale, Morrisville, Raleigh, Rolesville, Wake Forest, Wendell and Zebulon. A crowd of supporters of the ordinance, many carrying placards with the message “All Are Welcome Here,” gathered to show their appreciation for the county commission’s unanimous vote. The ordinance will protect both people who live in Wake County and visitors from discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and natural hairstyle. The county-wide legislation applies to employees in the workplace and all individuals in public areas, like eating establishments, hotels, rental properties and retail stores. While the ordinance doesn’t yet apply in specific language to religious organizations, the recent landmark ruling Billard v.Charlotte Catholic may have a much larger impact on religious institutions than expected. For now, however, any employer or business that is not a religious institution in Wake County that violates the ordinance could face local government mediation and legal charges from county officials. According to a report from the news department of local Raleigh TV station WRAL, teens like Harrison Casey Garcia, who was the target of gender-related bullying during high school, confirm the belief that the ordinance will protect other teens from similar circumstances. “It makes me very happy that I can fight for the younger generations and my siblings,” Garcia said in the interview. “I think [my] whole situation would have gone so much differently if there was something in place for me.” At deadline, the Raleigh City Council planned to pass the same NDO at their The Wake County Commission met at next meeting, adding yet another county the Justice Center October 18 to approve and city to take such an action. a county-wide NDO. (Photo Credit: info: bit.ly/3pq47sC Wikimedia Commons) — qnotes Staff

Moonlight on Main Comes to Belmont

For three consecutive weekends during October and November, Moonlight on Main will bring a warm glow to chilly nights in historic downtown Belmont in neighboring Gaston County. Museum of the Moon, an international touring exhibit from U.K. artist Luke Jerram, features a seven-meter detailed NASA image of the lunar surface. Traveling across global public spaces, the riveting presentation of artwork will take center stage at the Stowe Park amPhoto Credit: Courtesy Belmont Tourism phitheater Thursdays through Sundays, October 22 to November 7. “We hope the exhibit will be an educational experience of a lifetime, and inspire the next generation of scientists, artists, poets, writers and musicians from Gaston County,” says Phil Boggan, downtown director for the City of Belmont. “The evenings and weekends will evoke passion and exploration as the ethereal blue light cast by the full moon serves as the perfect environment for art exhibitions, theater performances, and a variety of musical concerts.” In addition to the glowing and gleaming moon itself, lunar-inspired events unfold throughout the three-weekend presentation. A free opening night art Exhibit and Downtown Art Tour will take place October 21, 7-9 p.m., ushering in Moonlight on Main with original art pieces and a guided outdoor walking tour. Other festivities include the kid-friendly Boo Fest on Oct. 23, a Halloween Bar Crawl on Oct. 30, Howl at the Moon for furry friends on Oct. 31, and a Moon Educational Program on Nov. 7, presented by The Schiele Museum of Natural History. Live music iicludes the Charlotte Jazz Band, Noel Freidline and Maria Howell; Villains Cabaret and the Pink Floyd Experience. For the full three weeks of the exhibit, downtown Belmont will radiate as an outdoor art gallery with projected art and lights around Main Street. Additionally, nine outdoor mural installations representing the moon’s role in the Underground Railroad will be displayed daily in Stowe Park with guided tours available on Oct. 22. According to the local Tourism Development Authority, Moonlight on Main is an opportunity for visitors across the Charlotte region and well beyond to explore the art and architecture of downtown Belmont, as well as restaurants, local businesses and small town charm. For the uninitiated, Belmont is 15 minutes west of Uptown Charlotte. Once a place where textile industries served as the driving economic force of the community, the town now represents a destination for architecture and history fans, foodies and antique shoppers. Belmont offers a scenic view of historic homes and storefronts, vintage streetlamps and red brick sidewalks. It’s a community that boasts entertainment, the arts, unique local retail, destination restaurants and a variety of special events. info: visitbelmontnc.org — Melinda Skutnick

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life

In Memoriam: Trans Deaths Continue To Surge Remembering Those Lost Due to Violence in 2021 by Lainey Millen | Guest Contributor

he year 2020 was the worst year in history for transgender murders and violence. And 2021 continues along that same path as bigotry and hatred rock the nation and the world. COVID-19 has changed our world view, as well as how we conduct ourselves from day to day. The isolation that has been felt since lockdowns began in March 2020 certainly adds to the stresses that are experienced — all adding to the overwhelming sense of loss from transgender violent death atop what is a constant in the face of pandemic losses. In 2020, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) tracked a record number of violent fatal incidents against transgender and gender non-conforming people. A total of 44 fatalities were tracked by the organization, marking 2020 as the most violent year on record since HRC began tracking these crimes in 2013. HRC added, “Sadly, 2021 has already seen at least 41 transgender or gender non-conforming people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. We say at least because too often these stories go unreported — or misreported. In previous years, the majority of these people were Black and Latinx transgender women.” Details about those victims, in addition to those whom qnotes had not reported for the balance of 2020, are shared in the narrative that follows, supplied by HRC. We mourn the loss of these individuals and honor their memory. Lea Rayshon Daye Lea Rayshon Daye was a 28-year-old Black transgender woman who died in Cuyahoga County Jail in Cleveland, Ohio on Aug. 30. Daye was found unresponsive early in the morning on Aug. 30 and later died. An investigation into her death was ongoing. HRC did not become aware of her death until November. Angel Unique Angel Unique, whom some reports identify as Angel Haynes, was a 25-year-old Black transgender woman who was killed in Memphis, Tenn. on Oct. 25. Unique, who was a licensed cosmetologist, was killed as the result of a gunshot wound. Yunieski Carey Herrera Yunieski Carey Herrera, also known as Yuni Carey, was a 39-year-old Latina transgender woman who was killed in Miami, Fla. on Nov. 17 as the result of a stabbing. “The loss of any transgender or gender non-conforming person is a tragedy, and Yuni’s death is no exception. The fact that she was killed during Transgender Awareness Week only makes this loss hurt more,” said HRC Director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative Tori Cooper. Asia Jynaé Foster Asia Jynaé Foster was a 22-year-old Black transgender woman who was killed in Houston, Texas on Nov. 20 as the result of a shooting. Foster was also killed on the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

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Tyianna Alexander Tyianna Alexander, who was also known as Davarea Alexander, was a 28-year-old Black transgender woman. Alexander was shot to death in Chicago, Ill. on Jan. 6. On social media, friends posted that she had “good energy” and had “a beautiful light,” with one friend saying, “I loved everything about her.” Said another friend, “This lady was nothing but life, encouragement, motivation and fun.” Samuel Edmund Damián Valentín Samuel Edmund Damián Valentín, a transgender man, was killed on Jan. 9 in Trujillo Alto, Puerto Rico. Samuel was looking forward to starting a new year. On Jan. 1, he posted on his Facebook, “a new year to come, grateful for all the experiences who [taught] me how strong we really are, to life, to good and bad, and for all justice that is forth to come.” He also spoke out against violence in Puerto Rico, expressing his hope for a Puerto Rico without killings. Bianca “Muffin” Bankz Bianca “Muffin” Bankz, a Black transgender woman, was shot to death in Atlanta, Ga. on Jan. 17. On Jan. 29, Bankz’s friends and the Trans Housing Coalition (THC) held a vigil outside of her apartment to remember her. Said THC’s Founder and Co-Director Jesse Pratt López, “Muffin was just blossoming into herself.” Dominique Jackson Dominique Jackson, a Black transgender woman, was shot to death in Jackson, Miss. on Jan. 25. According to her Facebook, Jackson was the Mother of the Haus of Redd, and the founder of The Ladi Redd, Inc. Friends remember her on social media, with one saying, “My heart is heavy,” and another sharing, “I’m at a loss for words.” Fifty Bandz Fifty Bandz, a 21-year-old Black transgender woman, was shot to death in Baton Rouge, La. on Jan. 28. Friends of Bandz and advocates said her name as they released balloons to remember her life. On Facebook, one friend shared, “When are we as a community going to do something?!” Alexus Braxton Alexus Braxton, also known as Kimmy Icon Braxton, a 45-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed on Feb. 4 in Miami, Fla. Braxton was a hairstylist and active on social media, posting regularly. One of her most recent posts said, “They can’t stop my shine.” Family and friends held a balloon release to honor Braxton’s life on Feb. 8 and have been remembering her on social media, with one saying, “I’m beyond devastated.” Chyna Carrillo Chyna Carrillo, who also went by Chyna Cardenas, was killed in the morning hours of Feb. 18 in New Wilmington, Pa. Not much is known at the time about Carrillo’s personal life. One of her social media posts suggested she would have celebrat-

ed her 25th birthday just weeks before her death. “Chyna was very young and did not deserve to have her life cut short,” said HRC’s Cooper. Jeffrey “JJ” Bright and Jasmine Cannady Siblings Jeffrey “JJ” Bright, a 16-year-old transgender boy, and Jasmine Cannady, a 22-year-old non-binary person, both from Ambridge, Pa., were killed on Feb. 22. Bright was a student at Ambridge High School, while Cannady worked at FedEx, according to their Facebook page. Both siblings were active in PRISM, a non-profit organization for the LGBTQ+ youth of Beaver County, Pa. “JJ is a part of our PRISM family,” PRISM shared on their Facebook. “JJ was a beautiful person with the biggest and brightest smile.” PRISM described Cannady as “a sweet, shy and artistic soul,” and according to the Transfamily of NWPA, Cannady “loved to dance. They cared deeply for their friends.” On Feb. 23, PRISM held a candlelight vigil in memory of the siblings.

17 in Los Angeles, Calif. A former colleague of Pardo’s from Starbucks shared that as co-workers, they had an “amazing time together.” According to The Advocate, the TransLatin@ Coalition and Pardo’s friends and family, a candlelight vigil was held in her memory on March 20. “Rayanna was such a beautiful young person who just wanted to live her life and be herself,” said Trans Latin@ Coalition President Bamby Salcedo. Jaida Peterson

Jenna Franks Jaida Peterson, a 29-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed on April 4 in Charlotte, N.C. Peterson’s family and friends have remembered her on social media, with her sister sharing, “You are going to be truly missed and once again we love you always.” Local advocates in Charlotte held a vigil on April 9 to remember her.

Jenna Franks, a 34-year-old white transgender woman, was killed in Jacksonville, N.C. in February. Jenna was a part of the Onslow County LGBTQ+ Community Center family. She was remembered on Facebook by friends and family as “sweet” and “a rock star.” Dennis Biancuzzo, executive director for the Onslow County LGBTQ+ Community Center, described Franks as “a beautiful soul” and “a breath of fresh air.” Diamond Kyree Sanders Diamond Kyree Sanders, a 23-yearold Black transgender woman, was shot to death in Cincinnati, Ohio on March 3. Diamond was described by a family member on social media as “beloved.” An obituary shared by her family describes many loving memories. “She valued her family and enjoyed spending time with them. As a child, she would say ‘I love my WHOLE family!,’” the obituary states. In her adult life, Diamond was a traveler, known to be in New York City one week and New Orleans the following week, also according to her obituary. Rayanna Pardo Rayanna Pardo, a 26-year-old Latina transgender woman, was killed on March

Dominique Lucious Dominique Lucious, a 26-year-old Black transgender woman, was shot and killed on April 8 in Springfield, Mo. According to her Facebook account, Lucious was a fan of the TV show “Empire.” On social media, many of Lucious’ friends expressed their love for her and how much she will be missed. One friend shared, “Many don’t get to live in their authentic truth. You were fierce, glam, and hunny gorgeous! I love you now, tomorrow and forever.” Remy Fennell

Remy Fennell, a Black transgender woman in her 20s, was shot to death on April 15 in Charlotte, N.C. Fennell’s aunt said, “She was a vibrant young transgender woman who was just trying to make it and was doing it. She started her own business,

graduated from cosmetology school…She has left her mark on the hair industry.” Tiara Banks Tiara Banks, a 24-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Chicago, Ill. on April 21. According to a news report, Banks was sitting alone in her Ford Fusion when the shooter approached the vehicle and shot Banks multiple times. Banks was pronounced dead at the scene. “At just 24 years old, Tiara had her whole entire life ahead of her, and, instead, we are remembering her because of the ongoing fatal violence against transgender people,” said HRC’s Cooper. Natalia Smut Natalia Smut, a 24-year-old Black and Puerto Rican transgender woman, was killed on April 23 in Milpitas, Calif. Smut was a celebrated drag artist in the San Jose LGBTQ community with local community members describing her as a “motivating and creative spirit” with “captivating performances” and a “love for advocacy within the community.” Friends and community members organized a vigil for Smut, with more than 100 people attending. Iris Santos Iris Santos, a 22-year-old Latinx transgender woman, was killed in Houston, Texas on April 23. Santos was sitting at a picnic table enjoying a meal when an unidentified suspect approached and shot her. Santos was taken to a local hospital, where she was later pronounced dead. “Iris was so young with so many things to look forward to,” said HRC’s Cooper, “Iris was simply minding her own business, sitting and eating when her life was abruptly cut short.” Tiffany Thomas Tiffany Thomas, a 38-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed on April 24 in Dallas, Texas. Thomas has been remembered as someone who had a “big heart,” who was “funny,” “stayed laughing,” and who was “stylish.” Keri Washington Keri Washington, a 49-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed on May 1 in Clearwater, Fla. “Our community is yet again in mourning as a result of senseless acts of violence against transgender and gender non-conforming people,” said HRC’s Cooper, “Keri was at least the fourth transgender woman killed in less than 10 days, each of them Black or Brown. We urge everyone to end the stigma against transgender people, and to destroy the roots of transphobia and racism that fuel this violence.” Jahaira DeAlto Jahaira DeAlto, a 42-year-old transgender woman, was killed on May 2 in Boston, Mass. A well-known and beloved transgender advocate, advocate for survivors of domestic and sexual violence, and member of the ballroom community, DeAlto was a member of the House of Balenciaga and was a founder of Berkshire Transgender Day of Remembrance and Berkshire Pride Festival. She shared on Twitter, “I am the mother who raised the children whose rainbow sparkled too brightly and blinded their birth moms… I know what gratitude in the eyes of a young person who finally feels seen looks like. And for me, that’s enough.”

Whispering Wind Bear Spirit Whispering Wind Bear Spirit, a 41-yearold Indigenous non-binary person, was shot in York, Pa. on May 3 and died early on May 4. They often shared photos of meaningful quotes on their Facebook. Friends and family have remembered them on Facebook, with one sharing, “You are missed”, and another remembering Whispering Wind as “a beautiful and kind soul.” Sophie Vásquez Sophie Vásquez, a 36-year-old Latina transgender woman, was shot and killed in Georgia on May 4. Vásquez was a part of the EsTr (El / La) Community, or Community Estrella, a community that works to support transgender people in the Atlanta area. She is remembered as “the kindest person on the planet” and as someone who was “truly beautiful inside and out.” Danika “Danny” Henson Danika “Danny” Henson, who also went by Pryynce Daniel and Niia Da Don on Facebook, a 31-year-old Black transgender woman, was shot and killed in Baltimore, Md., on May 4. Henson also may have identified as genderfluid. According to family, Henson had just begun transitioning. One family member shared that Henson “always had a BIG heart… there was love behind everything!” On May 6, friends, family and the Baltimore Safe Haven hosted a candlelight and balloon release vigil to remember Henson. Serenity Hollis Serenity Hollis, a 24-year-old Black transgender woman, was shot and killed in Albany, Ga., on May 8. Her mother said that “the person that’s responsible has no idea what they took from us... I absolutely want to see that justice is served.” Oliver “Ollie” Taylor Oliver “Ollie” Taylor, a 17-year-old white transgender boy, died on May 19 after being kidnapped and shot on May 12 in Gervais, Ore. He was a student at Gervais High School, where he was involved in the Gervais Future Farmers of America organization. The high school held a vigil to remember Taylor on May 20. Oliver is remembered as “an amazing child with a quirky sense of humor, who impacted so many people.” Thomas Hardin

Thomas Hardin, a 35-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed on May 2 in York, S.C. According to local news, friends have shared that Hardin “identified as a woman,” continued to use the name Thomas and used both he and she pronouns. Friends remembered Hardin as

someone who “always kept you laughing.” A funeral service was held on May 12. Poe Black Poe Black, who also went by Oliver Jackson and Legion, was a 21-year-old transgender man who was killed in Niland, Calif. in an area called Slab City in early May. His body was found on May 11. Black was originally from Nashville, Tenn. and often posted about disability rights and Black Lives Matter on social media. He was also an artist, with several online stores where he displayed and sold his art. E.J. Boykin E.J. Boykin, who also went by Novaa Watson, was killed in Lynchburg, Va. on June 14. He had just recently celebrated his 23rd birthday on June 10 and was studying at Morgan State University. It appears E.J. was also the parent of a young child. One of Boykin’s friends told HRC that, “He was loved and like[d] by everyone. He was one of those people that was just good vibes and energy.” Aidelen Evans Aidelen Evans, a 24-year-old Black transgender woman, was found dead in March in Port Arthur, Texas. Initially investigated as suspicious, as of July, her death is being investigated as a homicide. Evans was originally from Beaumont, Texas and had recently spent time in Port Arthur, Beaumont and Houston. “Nobody — no parent should have to go through this,” said Lois Balka, Evans’ grandmother, in March. “You will always be in my heart.” Taya Ashton Taya Ashton, a 20-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Suitland, Prince George’s County, Md. on July 17. According to social media, friends and family held a vigil and balloon release to remember Ashton. “Taya was just at the beginning of her life — a life that she deserved to live to its fullest,” said Lindsey Clark, HRC associate director of the Transgender Justice Initiative. “Black transgender women continue to be killed in this country, and this violence is unacceptable.” Shai Vanderpump Shai Vanderpump, a 23-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Trenton, N.J., on July 30. According to Garden State Equality, Vanderpump was “a fierce LGBTQ advocate.” A GoFundMe remembered Vanderpump as being known for her “style [and] love of family,” as someone who had a “heart of gold” and who “loved to dress, smile and see everyone happy and smiling.” Tierramarie Lewis Tierramarie Lewis, a 36-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Cleveland, Ohio on June 12. Due to misgendering and misnaming from local officials and a lack of media coverage, her death was not reported until recently. According to reporting from The Buckeye Flame, Lewis moved to Cleveland last year for a fresh start. One friend remembered Lewis as “a spirited girl… one day she would have purple hair, one day pink hair and always an outfit to go with those colors.” Miss CoCo Miss CoCo, a 44-year-old transgender woman of color, was killed in Dallas, Texas on Aug. 7. According to Nu Trans Movement, she was “a well-known small

girl with a big, bubbly personality. CoCo was a happy person [and] proud to be living her truth!” Pooh Johnson Pooh Johnson, a 25-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Shreveport, La. on Aug. 23. Johnson was an accomplished makeup artist under the name Titanizer. Zoella “Zoey” Rose Martinez Zoella “Zoey” Rose Martinez, a 20-yearold Latina transgender woman, was fatally shot in Seattle, Wash. on Aug. 31. Initial reports did not recognize Martinez as transgender until her family confirmed her identity in October. In a statement to HRC, Martinez’s family shared that “Zoey mastered makeup that accentuated her loving and caring personality... Zoey had a beautiful spirit, she always had a smile and had only kind words to say about others. Zoey was a born leader and her peers acknowledged her as such.” Disaya Monaee Disaya Monaee, a 32-year-old Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Chicago, Ill. on Sept. 6. “The epidemic of violence plaguing the transgender community, particularly Black transgender women, is appalling,” said HRC’s Cooper, “It is often the result of a toxic combination of transphobia, racism and misogyny.” Briana Hamilton Briana Hamilton was a 25-year-old Black transgender woman who was fatally shot in Chicago, Ill. On social media, Hamilton’s mother described her as an “amazing person who touched so many peoples hearts with her presence, and her memory will forever live on.” Kiér Laprí Kartier Kiér Laprí Kartier, a 21-year-old Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Arlington, Texas on Sept. 30. Kartier was from Dallas, Texas and graduated from Skyline High School. Her friends remembered her on social media as a “very strong, independent person” who “always had my back through thick and thin.” Mel Groves Mel Groves, a 25-year-old Black transgender man, was fatally shot on Oct. 11 in Jackson, Miss. Groves was a plant soil scientist at Alcorn State University who loved agriculture and animals. Groves was also an active member of The Knights & Orchids Society, “a southern centered grassroots startup founded and led by black, queer, transgender, and gender non-conforming people supporting gender justice and LGBTQ visibility.” Royal Poetical Starz Royal Poetical Starz, a 26-year-old Black transgender woman, was fatally shot in Miami Gardens, Fla. on Oct. 2. Starz was a graduate of Florida Career College Vocational School. On social media, she was remembered as “the life of the party.” : : qnotes’ resources for gathering the names of the victims were limited for this year’s reporting as of press time. Should other names be left out of the list above, readers are asked to forward them and details about their deaths to editor@qnotescarolinas.com. They will be added to the online coverage for this storyline.

Oct. 29 -Nov. 11, 2021

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life

Now Hear This: Voice Feminizing Surgery Surgical Technique Offers Alternative for Trans Women Seeking to Modify their Voice

by L’Monique King qnotes Staff Writer

ead this article aloud. No, seriously. Read these words and all the words that follow out loud. While you do that, listen to the sound of your voice. Do you like it? Do you think it matches your gender or is it higher or lower than you think it should be? If you’re a trans woman or a cisgender woman with a voice so low that you’re frequently misgendered during customer service telephone calls, Voice Feminization Surgery might be something to consider. Never heard of it? Well, sit back, sip your lemon water and continue reading. In the last five years or so, the internet, friend circles and clinicians who provide care to the trans community have been flooded with chat about Voice Feminization Surgery. Until about five years ago, anyone seeking to surgically change the pitch of their voice would have had to grab their passport and head for Seoul, South Korea. As far back as 1999 the Yeson Voice Center in Seoul began successfully performing the surgeries, with the majority of their patients traveling from the United States, the U.K. and Canada. What exactly is Voice Feminization Surgery? According to the Mayo Clinic, there are two frequently used surgical options for raising voice pitch: Anterior Glottic Web Formation and Cricothyroid Approximation. Anterior glottic web formation Surgery creates a web or scar band at the front of the V of the vocal cords (anterior commissure). This shortens the vocal cords to help raise voice pitch. Anterior glottal web formation affects frequency range by eliminating the ability to produce lower pitches. It also narrows the airway to some degree. As a result, this surgery might be less appropriate for vocal professionals and, perhaps, serious athletes.

Cricothyroid Approximation surgery fixes the cricoid cartilage to the thyroid cartilage, elongating the vocal cords. This results in a higher speaking pitch and a reduction in the ability to lower pitch. However, studies have found that this technique doesn’t have a lasting effect. Physician Assistant Wesley Thompson of Amity Medical Group, an independent family medicine practice with three locations in the Charlotte area, engages and treats many trans patients. Wesley has been dedicating his time to practicing Transgender Healthcare and HIV medicine for 35 years. Thompson shared his thoughts about surgical voice alteration: “[Trans] clients, generally trans women, often ask about Voice Feminizing procedures. It’s a little risky, and often people can end up with a raspier voice than expected. So, I typically recommend a speech therapist. A speech therapist can train you how to speak with more feminine inflection and coach you in feminine verbiage and language.” He also pointed out that Voice Feminizing Therapy is more than surgery: it includes teaching people how to style their speech through vocal coaching. Thompson stated that the reason the majority of interested clients are trans women is largely because trans men who undergo testosterone therapy experience a thickening of their vocal cords, which lowers the pitch of their voices. This decreases the need or desire for any surgical modification. CoCo Gabrielle Channel is a local trans woman with a unique voice. Channel doesn’t have a problem with anyone who might elect to have surgery to alter their voices, but it’s not something she plans to do. “I’m not interested in going to someone to teach me how to talk or [have] surgery. It might work for someone else, but it’s not for me. For me, it comes naturally to raise my pitch (or lower it) when I’m presenting as a woman. People accept it because it

‘Voice is part of your packaging … [it’s] who you are,’ says CoCo Gabrielle Channel

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Wesley Thompson of Amity Medical Group: “Voice feminizing therapy is more than just surgery.” doesn’t sound phony or fake. People say I have a unique voice and respect me for not being fake or deceitful.” In Channel’s opinion, “Many trans women, especially in the Black community, already know how to control their voices.” Also, a lot of guys who are attracted to Trans women of color, care more about how trans women look than how they sound. According to Channel, an identifiable trans voice is often considered appealing for the many individuals who find trans women desirable. “Voice is part of your packaging, who you are and that’s what they’re attracted to: who you are, as a trans woman.” The pitch of our voices is measured in hertz (Hz). According to the Mayo Clinic, the average frequency of an adult male’s voice is approximately 107 to 120 Hz. For females it is 189 to 224 Hz. However, voices perceived as female are most often about 165 Hz. As one might imagine, these frequency numbers aren’t the only numbers of concern for those considering surgical voice modifications. Cost is also a factor. Surgery can run from $8,000 to over $27,000, varying by surgeon, location and technique and may not be covered by health insurance. Fortunately, things are changing and options are increasing.

Though many disparities still exist regarding the provision of inclusive health care, “Across the country, health insurance companies are increasingly recognizing the need to end systemic denials of lifesaving gender-affirming health care for transgender people,” said Noah Lewis, director of the Trans Health Project at TLDEF, in a press release. North Carolina Health News, an independent, not-for-profit, statewide news organization dedicated to covering health care in North Carolina recently reported the following: “The nationwide trend to remove the exclusion of gender-affirming care follows President Joe Biden’s May declaration that the Department of Health and Human Services will prohibit discrimination [against] LGBTQ people by health care organizations that receive federal funding.” In addition, a June 2020 Supreme Court decision found that discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity at work violated federal civil rights laws. As inclusive civil rights legislation expands, LGBTQ community members will have greater access to affirming care — a big deal for those who just want to live their lives in a manner that feels comfortable and genuine, one octave at a time. : :

Oct. 29 -Nov. 11, 2021

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life

An Activist’s Fight to Reclaim a Notorious Slur Used Against LGBTQ Mexicans Retrospectives from the LGBTQ History Project by Christiana Lilly | Guest Contributor

ntil recently, Alberto B. Mendoza hated 41. He cringed if his dinner bill or hotel room number had the number in it, and with the countdown to his 41st birthday, he dreaded the year to come. His hatred of the number started when he was a kid — growing up on the San Diego-Tijuana border, he was excited when some friends nicknamed him 41. That is, until his father told him what it meant. “When he heard them, he called me into the garage and said, ‘Why did they call you that? They’re calling you a faggot, are you a faggot?’” Mendoza remembers, “I just remember wanting to disappear and crawl into a hole.” Mendoza, who is gay, was not ready to be outed. He came out when he was 19, and for decades more he hated the number. He made many achievements, including serving as the executive director of the National Association of Hispanic Journalists, and he is now the managing editor of JSK Journalism Fellowships at Stanford University. When he was set to turn 41, he told a friend over dinner how much he was dreading the milestone. That’s when he learned the story of how the slur came to be.

The Dance of the 41

The origin story of “41” being an antigay slur goes back to 1901 in Mexico, when a secret society of gay men would meet to indulge in drinking, dancing, sex and other merriment. It was during these gatherings that they could be themselves — talk how they wanted, dress how they wanted, and be openly affectionate with their friends and lovers. The group hosted an annual ball, with half dressing in women’s clothing while the other dressed in tuxedos. It was during the group’s ball in 1901 that police raided the party and arrested 42 men. However, the record mysteriously changed from 42 arrests to just 41 — there is no concrete proof, but it’s long been believed that one of the men at the party was Ignacio de la Torre y Mier, the closeted sonin-law of Mexican President Porfirio Díaz. To avoid a political uproar and save face, the story goes that Díaz had his son-in-law taken out of jail and his arrest hidden. The remaining 41 men were not so lucky, and newspapers referred to them as the “41 maricones,” the Spanish equivalent of “faggot.” Those wearing dresses were forced to sweep the streets, unprotected from an angry homophobic public, and many of the men were sent to work camps in the Yucatan supporting Mexican solders fighting the Mayans. Homosexuality and men dressing in women’s clothing were not illegal, but the government felt it had to make a statement against the men’s immorality.

41 in Popular Culture

According to a report on the 41, “They were wearing elegant ladies’ dresses,

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Alberto B. Mendoza, the founder of Honor 41. (Photo Credit: Alberto B. Mendoza) wigs, false breasts, earrings, embroidered slippers and their faces were painted with highlighted eyes and rosy cheeks … We refrain from giving our readers further details because they are exceedingly disgusting.” After the crackdown of the 41, the number was used as a slur against gay people. It became such an unlucky and unwanted number that throughout parts of Mexico, they have skipped the number for hotel rooms, house numbers, building floors, and even battalion numbers. The number 41 (and sometimes 42) was seen as a sort of scarlet letter to be avoided, hence the reaction by Mendoza’s father when his classmates called him that. “It all made me shiver and took me to a negative place,” Mendoza said. But with the rise of the equality movement around the world, the story of the 41 has come to light and seen from a different perspective. In November 2020, the Mexican film “El Baile de Los 41” was released to much acclaim, then picked up by Netflix and premiered in May 2021. Starring Alfonso Hererra as Ignacio and Emiliano Zurita as his fictional lover, Evaristo Rivas. Since many details have been shuttered away or destroyed since the 1901 incident, the film takes creative liberties in retelling the tale of the Dance of the 41 while still memorializing a dark time in Mexican history.

Reclaiming 41

Once Mendoza understood where the number came from, it became not a slur, but an homage to the 41 men who were assaulted for their sexuality. He decided that for his 41st birthday he would not hide but instead uplift the number with a

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new organization: Honor 41, an annual recognition of 41 LGBTQ+ Latinos. “I felt that I wanted to do something to really celebrate how far we’ve come by reclaiming the number and taking its power away, its negative power,” Mendoza said. In the spring of 2013, Mendoza announced the first class of Honor 41, a range of role models from across the country, gender identity, sexuality and age. The youngest member of Honor 41 was just 12 years old, and the oldest was 82. The 12-year-old is Zoey Luna, a trangender girl featured in the documentary “Raising Zoey” and who recently played a trans girl in 2020’s “The Craft: Legacy.” Over the years, south Floridians have been included in the list, including Herb Sosa, Arianna Lint, Maria Mejia, Jose Luis Dieppa, Ricardo Negrón Almodóvar, Morgan Mayfaire, Pablo Sanchez, Cary Tabares and more. Starting with hundreds of names, Mendoza and his board of past honorees will whittle down the list to choose people who are deserving of being in that year’s class. They take into consideration important pressing news for the year; some people are set aside to be considered for another year. “On a daily basis I look through different media outlets, and I share articles that are at the intersectionality of gay Latino, social justice, health and share those stories on social media,” Mendoza said, “I am truly trying to make sure it’s a balanced list.” From 2016 to 2019, he took time off from the project to deal with the loss of two close family members. For the class of 2021, which will be released in November, Mendoza is also going to be including LGBT people who have passed away to remember their legacy.

When the honorees are chosen, Honor 41 creates a video for each person to tell their story. Many have similar themes of being bullied, abused and misunderstood, but somehow each one has found a way to surround themselves with supporters and loving themselves. For Mendoza, what has struck him the most is younger LGBT people coming out at younger ages and having more supportive experiences from their friends and family than he and others did. “It isn’t just about 41,” Mendoza said, “It’s really about how we’re connected as LGBTQ Latinos. At the core of our challenge is still mostly culture that is homophobic, religion that is homophobic, and family that can be homophobic. I think we’re all much more empowered when we can take things that are negative and finally reclaim them.” To learn more about the Honor 41 project or to nominate an LGTBQ+ Latino who has made a difference, visit honor41.org. : : Christiana Lilly’s foray into journalism began at 11, when she put together a one-page gazette for classmates recounting field trips, announcing the lunch menu and other important news. Today, she’s a freelance journalist who covers a plethora of topics, including contributing regularly to South Florida Gay News. There, she covers health, religion, law and activism impacting the LGBT community. Her reporting has been recognized by the Society of Professional Journalists Florida chapter, Florida Magazine Association, and Florida Press Club, including stories on human trafficking, teen suicide, conversion therapy and youth homelessness. Christiana grew up in Asia as the daughter of a foreign service officer, and now calls Pompano Beach home with her husband and rescue dog.

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In ‘40s and ‘50s, Instant Photography Gave LGBTQ People a ‘Safe/Haven’ Retrospectives from the LGBTQ History Project by Christiana Lilly | Guest Writer

wo men dressed in drag for a tea party, two women cuddled up at the beach. Today these might be benign photographs, but in the early 1950s, they were memories shuttered away from public view. Until now. These two photographs and a slew of others were a part of the New York Historical Society’s exhibit “Safe/Haven,” showcasing photographs of LGBT people in Cherry Grove, N. Y., a popular vacation getaway for the community in the mid-century. “They maybe had a sense of, ‘This stayed here;’ it wasn’t going out into the world where it might be used against you as evidence that you were gay,” said Brian Clark, co-curator of “Safe/Haven” alongside Parker Sargent and Susan Kravitz. The project is in collaboration with the Cherry Grove Archives Collection, of which Clark has been on the board of for more than a decade. The exhibit first went on display at the Stonewall National Museum & Archives in Fort Lauderdale, but was cut short due to the pandemic. The team has collected photographs of the LGBT experience in the community over the years — some have been donated by family members who inherited photographs, and others were salvaged from

Men on the Beach, ca. 1950. (Photo Courtesy: Cherry Grove Archives Collection, Gift of Paul Jablonski)

the sidewalk before they were picked up by waste collection. The board received a large collection from a gentleman who died after spending decades collecting materials, as well as four photo albums from Earl McDonald, who performed on Broadway from the ‘20s through the ‘40s. So far, they have digitized roughly 16,000 photographs. “Every time I Patricia Fitzgerald and Kay Guinness, Cherry Grove Beach, September would go through 1952. (Photo Courtesy: Cherry Grove Archives Collection, Gift of Gay and get another doNathan and Julie Paradise) nation, we would just be so impacted by “Dropping off an undeveloped film the joy, the fun and at the pharmacy in the 1950s would the community that existed,” Clark said. have literally meant risking everything. The idea behind “Safe/Haven” was to It would have been incredibly difficult — showcase a world that was not able to be and daring,” Capo said. documented until the advent of instant Cherry Grove was a popular vacation photography, such as Polaroids and photo spot for LGBT people — located on Fire booths. Here, LGBT people were free to Island, they were free to be openly afbe themselves and have a lasting memory fectionate, attend costume parties, theater without having to drop off films to be productions, and rub elbows with the likes developed by a third party. of Truman Capote, Patricia Highsmith and This was also happening during the other creatives. “Safe/Haven” chronicled post-World War II era, when people the atmosphere of lively parties as well as were being shipped to large port cities intimate moments between couples. to report for duty. There, they met other “The media portrayed gays and LGBT people and, for many, experienced lesbians as living terrible, disparaging the culture for the first time, explains lives,” Clark said, “This is an example of Julio Capo, an associate professor at how even under the risk of being found FIU’s Department of History as well as a out and the need for safety and secrecy, board member at the Stonewall National Museum & Archives. people were able to, here in Cherry To hide their sexuality, gay couples Grove, have a community.” would often pair up with lesbian couples This was also a time of segregation — on double dates for a fun night out, and as restrictive as it was for LGBT people “swap” to pass as straight couples, he to be out, for people of color it was even says. And for photos, it wasn’t uncommore difficult to be targeted for both mon for people to wear masks to hide their sexuality and race. In this exhibit, their identity. which consists of mostly white people,

privilege is a part of the conversation with being able to vacation on Cherry Grove. While Polaroids and photo booths were easy and private ways to capture memories, there were also LGBT-friendly camera shops. Take Harvey Milk’s Castro Camera, which served not only as a place to develop film but also became a meeting place for activists. There were also gayowned and operated companies that were safe places to print materials for protests. “We don’t think of something like developing your own photograph as being overtly political, but goodness, it really, really was,” Capo said, “It was an act of defiance and an act of bravery. It was incredibly political and significant to shaping the very lives we’re able to live today.” For both Clark and Capo, looking to the past helps them understand the lives we live today — recognizing the sacrifices of the predecessors who fought for equality, for something as simple as taking a photo next to their partner. “We kept seeing all the play, just really playing, intimacy, community, and I thought ‘Oh my God, that’s so powerful,’” Clark said, “There was certainly sadness with depression and discrimination, but there was also resilience and there was also connection and there was also joy.” Christiana Lilly’s foray into journalism began at 11, when she put together a one-page gazette for classmates recounting field trips, announcing the lunch menu and other important news. Today, she’s a freelance journalist who covers a plethora of topics, including contributing regularly to South Florida Gay News. There, she covers health, religion, law and activism impacting the LGBT community. Her reporting has been recognized by the Society of Professional Journalists Florida chapter, Florida Magazine Association, and Florida Press Club, including stories on human trafficking, teen suicide, conversion therapy and youth homelessness. Christiana grew up in Asia as the daughter of a foreign service officer, and now calls Pompano Beach home with her husband and rescue dog. : :

Oct. 29 -Nov. 11, 2021

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Simply Marvelous

An Interview With Queer-Conscious Rapper Chris Conde by Gregg Shapiro Contributing Writer

From a forebear. Yes! There’ve definitely been artists, like San Antonio’s Third Root, who understand and see the pedigree of influence I’ve digested from hip hop, growing up in the ‘90s. Listening to Missy Elliott and Busta Rhymes and them being able to see that influence on me. It’s nice to know they know where I’m coming from. Obviously, every artist is trying to do their own thing, but I think it’s important, especially with rap, to be able to say, “This definitely comes from these people and these spaces.” I do feel very accepted in the rap community. And the LGBTQ community. I think they love that I’m as flagrant as I am [laughs]. Really in your face. I’m very unapologetically queer and subversive in that way. I don’t care who knows or who doesn’t. Part of my art comes from a place of spending so much time trying to not be gay. Being so concerned about trying to be straight and fit into some sort of mold that people expect me to be in. My art came from a very spiteful place. It just explodes with an earnest urgency [laughs].

hris Conde, the ATX-based self-proclaimed “thicc, queer Mexican” rapper has returned with his second full-length album Engulfed in the Marvelous Decay (Fake Four Inc.), available on clear (and queer) vinyl. On this powerful follow-up to 2019’s Growing Up Gay, Conde draws on his various influences, something that comes across forcefully on the metal edge of “American Faggot,” the emotional rap of “Everyday,” the indie rap/pop of “Okinawa,” the dancefloor banger “Sun,” and the political statement of “Seat at the Table.” Chris was kind enough to make time for an interview in early autumn 2021. According to the liner notes, your new album “Engulfed in the Marvelous Decay,” “was originally a post-rock project” by you and your friend Ed [Hirschmungl] that began when you were teenagers in Anapolis, Md. How did it morph into a hip-hop creation? Before I wrote those liner notes, I sent the record to Ed. He said, “This album is just completely you. All of your influences are in here.” He’s known me since I was 16, 17, and he said “All of your metal, your rock, your hip-hop; all of your influences. If somebody knew you like I do, I see everything that you’ve been influenced by on this album.” I guess it’s just me starting to experiment with music. Especially really trying to create within those early teen years. [Laughs] when we were creating that music in Maryland, I remember we came up to the kitchen to have a snack or something at his parents’ house, talking about what we can call this project. Not really being serious, but just being kind of dumb, and it just came out of nowhere, “Engulfed in the Marvelous Decay.” Bands like Explosions in the Sky and Fear Before the March of Flames had come out. Sufjan Stevens had all these long song titles. I wanted to do something a little bit extravagant, over the top and tongue in cheek. I always kept that phrasing in my head and in a weird way it made sense for this record. You’re now based in Austin. Are you finding support and camaraderie in both the LGBTQ+ and hip-hop communities? Yes. Initially I came up through the punk rock and rock and roll spheres and com-

Photo Credit: Anthony Garcia munities. I didn’t play my first rap set until six years ago or maybe a little bit longer. I didn’t really go to a whole lot of rap shows. I was really involved in the hardcore and indie communities. That’s where a lot of my friends were. They asked me if I wanted to do my rap stuff at their show. I said, “OK.” So, I didn’t come up through hip-hop. To answer your question, yes, now I feel very accepted in both communities. I’ve been surprised about how well the rap community accepts me here in Texas. There are some great people here who love what I do and encouraged it and love that I’m doing it. There was a named Bushwick Bill from the Geto

Photo Credit: Anthony Garcia

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Boys. They were originally from Houston but then here in Austin for maybe the last 20 years. I opened up for him during SXSW event, and I was rapping about being queer and overcoming internalized homophobia. At the end of my set, I said, “Thank you for letting me be here, for letting me be who I am. I think it’s important that people like me are on these bills like this, and I appreciate your support.” I handed the mic to Bill who was next, and he was like, “That’s what’s up. That’s what hip hop is.” It was cool to get a shout-out from somebody who was as legendary as him. There was some affirmation from an older generation.

“Mariposa” is a fitting name for the second song on the album, especially in the way it takes flight on the subjects of self-worth and survival. A mariposa also emerges from a cocoon, and the song “Re-emerge” visits those similar themes. Would you agree that there is a through-line connecting the songs? Yes, with those songs. But, also with the entire album. “Mariposa” is a statement of who I am now. My first record, “Growing Up Gay,” which came out in 2019, talked about getting to a place of finally being OK. “Mariposa” says, “I am here, and I am ready and I’m ready to give back. I’m here to tell you what my journey has been like.” [The song] “Re-emerge” is basically, this is what you do. “Stretch out your hand towards the ceiling/rearranging holy healing/ from way deep in.” Giving people permission to transform themselves. Do you think that’s another way that sobriety comes through in the work? Sobriety was the start of me getting to a place of changing. I didn’t realize that I even struggled with internalized homophobia. I wasn’t in a place where I could even see that. When I got sober, I saw how much I was still not OK being queer. Back in 2014, on day one of my sobriety, I called a friend who is gay and had been sober for a few years. I was like, “I don’t know how to live my life anymore.” He said, “I’ll come pick you up and we can talk.” I didn’t know who else to reach out to. I knew that he was gay, and he was sober and somehow, he was happy. I didn’t know how you could get all those things together [laughs] and make it work. He picked me up and took me to his apartment. He said, “I’m going to tell you my T, my truth, and then you’ll tell me your truth, how you got here, and I’ll tell you how I got sober. In the meantime, I’m going to put you in drag.” We shared each other’s stories, and he painted my face as a drag queen, and I put a wig on, and something healed in me on that day. It was this powerful moment. I look

back at that as when everything pivoted. Something gave me permission to express myself however I wanted, and I could also be sober doing it. According to the Internet, so-called “cancel culture” came into being in the late 2010s. Would it be fair to say that your song “Cancel Culture Blues” is an attempt to cancel “cancel culture,” or at least to call it out for what it is? Yes. I think there are a lot of systems that we’ve tried to put in place that are not working and that are dangerous for our growth as a community. I think that cancel culture is one of these things that are more harmful than they are good. It’s definitely easier to tear down something than it is to build something. When we exercise cancel culture, we don’t allow people any sort of grace, any sort of communication, space for growth or redemption. It’s like putting somebody in the middle of a field, picking up stones and stoning them to death. “Cancel Culture Blues” was written to say, “This isn’t working anymore. We need to stop doing this.” I don’t think we shouldn’t hold people accountable. If you listen to the rest of my record, I think people would understand where I’m coming from. No one has challenged me on that song, saying that I’m defending abusers because that’s not what I think people get from my music. Policing of people is ironic especially, in this day and age, so it’s challenging these systems, and asking, “Why are you doing this? I think this is actually for your own ego, I think this is actually about you, and not about moving forward.” Because, at the end of the day, as I broke it down in the song, everyone

the intro and outro, I produced myself. Sometimes I struggle with states of mania and panic and depression. I just need to create sounds to help me feel differently in those moments. For the intro, I was feeling very depressed and recorded myself doing those “ahs,” and I felt better. The same thing with the outro, “Sun.” I was feeling kind of crazy and I started writing these beats and then looping them, and building this whole little world. I felt like they worked.

Photo Credit: Anthony Garcia has made mistakes. Not one person has not hurt somebody else, even if it was unintentional. To masquerade that you are the pure-hearted person and judge of everyone is just silly to me. Album closer “Sun” sounds like an homage to classic drum’n’bass and breakbeat. Is that something you plan to explore more of on future albums? Possibly. I don’t produce a whole lot of music. But “Sun” and “Light Repeating,”

Yes, they function as brackets for the album. Finally, if you’ll indulge me, I don’t think an interview with a queer hip-hop artist would be complete without asking their opinion of Lil Nas X. Please say a few words about what you think of him. I don’t listen to a lot of Lil Nas X’s music, but I think that what he’s doing is amazing. I think that him being able to be in these spaces where he’s able to subvert these spaces into queer spaces. What he does is he gets naked and hangs out with a bunch of other people. I think that’s super important in the normalizing of queer culture. At the end of the day, we’re all human beings. I think what he’s doing is important. Am I impressed by his lyricism and syllabic patterns and cadences? Not particularly. He’s not my favorite rapper in the world. But I think it’s important that he exists and that he’s doing what he’s doing in the spaces that he’s doing it because no one has had gotten the type of success that he has. There’s no openly queer rapper getting invited to the Met Gala and being in the places that he’s at. I think it’s important that he’s doing those things and is able to be his unabashedly queer self in those spaces. : :

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‘Raising Ollie: How My Nonbinary Art-Nerd Kid Changed (Nearly) Everything I Know’ Out in Print

ill-in-theblanks. That’s what you get when you have a baby: unknowns. Its birth date is often a guess, length and weight are surprises. Will it have your eyes, long fingers, dad’s smile, grandma’s nose? Fill in the blanks: not boy, not girl, but as in the new memoir, “Raising Ollie” by Tom Rademacher, neither, thank you. When his daughter, Olive, was an infant, Tom Rademacher says he “struggled in those early months...to enjoy much of parenting...”

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There were vast amounts to learn, and little “Ollie” was a patient teacher. As a toddler, Ollie was particularly talented in language and arts, attributes their teacher-father and therapistmother encouraged. Early on, they were super-observant, wise, and curious about completely everything; when they were in second grade, suspicions that they were an intelligent kid were confirmed when they were labeled as an “advanced learner.” But school was a trial, even for an uber-smart seven-year-old. Ollie suffered from anxiety. They hated crowds and making friends and unwanted attention; they had the wit, open-mindedness and understanding of an adult sometimes, but with little-kid coping skills. Normally a voracious lover of learning, they began to dread each school morning, and they seemed tearfully fearful of some classes and teachers. Obviously, a change in schools was needed; Ollie did their own research. Shortly after starting third grade, Olive, who prefers “daughter” and uses they/ them pronouns began loudly, confidently, assertively identifying as a nonbinary kid.

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Author Tom Rademacher. (Photo Credit: Sarah Ruubinstein)

At around this same time, their father had school issues of his own. A 2014 Minnesota Teacher of the Year, Rademacher had been unemployed due to budget cuts but was beginning a semester teaching language arts to eighth graders in northeast Minneapolis. He was also working on how to offer the best support for his students, just as he wanted for his child... “Raising Ollie” is absolutely delightful. It’s filled with funny stories that will make you laugh. It’s a peek inside today’s class-

room with a teacher who offers relatable lessons to a notoriously tough audience of teens. It’s also less than half about actually raising Ollie. Author Tom Rademacher starts this memoir with a teasing warning to readers that stories are important in his family. He fulfills his promises to tell tales about his life, his parents, racism and his efforts to eliminate it in the schools where he works, and the stellar students he’s had. His stories make you want to be seated at his table at a conference and yes, he tells stories about his smart, funny, talented child who is an “art-nerd” and loves cosplay and wore girly dresses until about age seven — but just not enough. These are sometimes-hilarious tales of a Midwesterner growing-up, idyllic and happy and nostalgic, followed by a typical, angsty, identity-searching teenage-hood. But Ollie? Just not enough. Sigh. Teachers will adore this book. There are laughs all over the place for just about every reader who can appreciate a little self-depreciation. But, if you’re looking for a parenting book about rearing a nonbinary child, “Raising Ollie” may leave you blank. : :

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life

Ophelia and Shingles

Health & Wellness: Self Care During Emotional Trauma by Jack Kirven qnotes Contributor

n Oct. 2, 2021 at 1:32 a.m., my 16-and-a-half-year-old kitten crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Miss Ophelia was a diffuse tortoiseshell Manx with green eyes, playful energy, loving disposition and bossy personality. She performed her auditions for The Voice at 3:00 a.m., and she generally ruined my sleep for the last four years — she never stopped looking every night for her big brother Sméagol after he preceded her into infinity on Thanksgiving 2017. Explaining with words how this feels to people with pets is unnecessary, and people who don’t have pets will never understand the explanation. The loss of a pet can be debilitating, and it carries all the same stressors as the passing of human family and friends. Perhaps this is even more salient to those who do not want children and maintain fewer strong relationships with people? But this isn’t a contest. I certainly am not trying to bring home the gold at the 2021 Olympics of suffering. Everyone experiences grief in their own way, and it’s no one else’s place to qualify how others process their emotions. As destabilizing and chaotic as all of this would be under normal circum-

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It’s especially important to take care of yourself during periods of emotional trama. (Photo Credit: Orawan via Adobe Stock) stances, Miss Ophelia was not a normal circumstance. I kidnapped Miss Ophelia in 2013. I stole her away from my grandmother’s home in Aiken, S.C. Gramma had gone into assisted living, and the facility did not allow pets. A huge rift had already split the family into various factions over the way Gramma’s finances were being mishandled since the death of my grandfather.

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My uncles had decided they were going to throw Miss Ophelia out onto a farm to be a barn cat, and they had stopped caring for her properly. My kitty was NOT a barn cat — she would have been killed by coyotes, other cats or cars. So, I stole her away, and my grandmother died believing that my mother had kidnapped both Ophelia and her brother Ivan and had them put to sleep out of spite. That is the lie my uncles concocted to explain why the cats had disappeared. I stole/kidnapped/rescued both cats to protect them. But I never told Gramma because I was afraid she would disown me, and then there would have been no one left to shield Gramma from my uncles’ worst intentions. I was the executor of her estate. The fact that I was also her power of attorney was hidden from me, which is why my uncles were able to do as much damage to the estate as they did before Gramma died. It took six years to process the estate. It should have taken six months, maybe a single year. This dragged on for various

malicious reasons, and Miss Ophelia was a constant reminder of all these damaged relationships. But I loved her intensely, and I cared for her deeply. Not just for Ophelia’s sake, but also as an expression of my responsibilities to Gramma. The estate finally closed earlier this year. Strange, but it’s as if Ophelia was ready to go see Gramma, Sméagol and Ivan now that she no longer needed to distract me from the horrible people in my family. My giving Miss Ophelia peace was the final act as executor for the estate. It was arguably the most hurtful of all the various choices I had to make over the years. Escorting Miss Ophelia into eternity held the significance of being the act that completed my obligations to respecting Gramma’s legacy. Since Miss Ophelia went away I have allowed myself various indulgences. Colloidal oatmeal soak baths with candles, colorful LED lights, essential oils and wind chimes were times of gentleness in dark rooms where I could let warm water wash all sorts of ugliness away. I also allowed myself huge quantities of rich foods, in addition to the normal fresh fruits and veggies, because I was needed to nourish my body, not just my heart. I avoided exercise, and allowed myself to binge Netflix without remorse. I recognize in this moment that rewatching The Walking Dead from the very beginning was my way of letting people with worse problems demonstrate to me that surviving and thriving is still possible. But I needed to do all this, because stress weakens the immune system, and an outbreak of shingles was making my outside feel as excruciating as my inside. Part 2 of 2 will focus on self care during intense physical pain. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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The “Getting Dumped, Dumping Someone and Why It’s Always Your Fault” Issue Tell Trinity

by Trinity | Contributing Writer Dearest Trinity, A year and a half ago my boyfriend left me with no explanation; he wouldn’t even return my phone calls or answer his door. Then he moved. Fast forward to a year later with his new boyfriend on his arm, he returns. I like his new boyfriend, but I still never got closure. Now I have their number. Should I call? Wounded & Wondering, Green Bay, WI Dearest Wounded & Wondering, Men are selfish, boring, overbearing animals and no lame excuse will ever right his dirty dumping wrongs. However, whether he was running from the law or himself, it was a year ago and any lame answer won’t change your life today! So let’s fastforward to you. What do you need to self-empower yourself again, a new boyfriend, a new job, a new outfit? Sweetie, it’s totally

time to move on and stop playing Patty Labelle’s “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”. However, if it’s “closure” you, need then closure you deserve. So, “calmly” call him and ask for an explanation. But then… move on! Love, Trinity Hello Trinity, I’m dating someone who is so sweet and so nice,but I’m so not into her. I’m terrible at dumping someone. Help! Working The Dump, Buffalo, NY Hello Working The Dump, It’s awful making someone feel bad and even more frustrating figuring out how to do it. But, Honey, if it’s not working you MUST not waste her time or yours. The six rules for dumping someone are: be clear, be present, be compassionate, do it privately in a public place,

never dump by phone or email (after the fourth week) and be far away from any glass, guns or moving vehicles! Good Luck, Trinity Dear Trinity, It was just after five months when I got handed a list of why the relationship isn’t working, why it’s my fault, and why it has

to end. Trinity, why is it always the “other person’s” fault? The List, Louisville, KY Dear List, In most sour relationships it’s always the other person’s fault. Welcome to the dating game. Now, Pumpkin, after you rise from the shock, copy this list and send it to them.

Trinity’s 99 Ridiculous Reasons For Why It’s My Fault And Not Yours That The Relationship Didn’t Work

1. (8) Because “I wasn’t ENOUGH,” i.e, smart, masculine, talkative, quiet, feminine, cute, funny or wealthy enough. 2. (8) Because “I wasn’t SUPPORTIVE“ with your addictions to: drinking, drugging, working, shoplifting, promiscuity, cruising, steroids or the gym. 3. (9) Because “I didn’t like LISTENING to your” music, TV, singing, snoring, complaining, bird chirping, burping or your constant chatting on the phone and internet. 4. (10) Because “I didn’t like the SMELL of your” breath, food, cologne, laundry detergent, shampoo, incense, dog, cat, snake or your constant flatulence. 5. (16) Because “I didn’t know how to DEAL WITH your never—ending” depression, antidepressants, mood swings, hypochondria, paranoia, split personality or your ten other emotional disorders. 6. (6) Because “I didn’t PUSH you hard enough to give up” your smoking habit, your lousy job, your credit card problems, your eating disorder, your multi-tasking or your need to be controlled. 7. (7) Because “I didn’t like GOING WITH you” to the church, the bars, the casino, expensive dinners, traveling, shopping or to your mother’s house every Shabbat. 8. (6) Because “I kept LECTURING you on” being late, being judgmental, being rude, being disrespectful, being sloppy and for swearing so goddamn much. 9. (25) Because “I wouldn’t LET you” eat ice cream for dinner, french fries for breakfast, chocolate cake for lunch or the twenty-two other unhealthy things that you and your doctor keep saying will kill you. 10. (4) Lastly, because “I WOULDN’T“ do the right things, feel the right feelings, wear the right clothes or “spread ‘em” just the right way when you demanded me to. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries. org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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Unreal Estate Screen Savor

by Gregg Shapiro Contributing Writer

very year, no, wait. Every month. No, that’s wrong, too. Every week, there seems to be more and more LGBTQ+ movies being released and available for streaming on-demand or in theaters. Like the community itself, the movies come in all shapes, sizes, colors and genres. As this is being written, horror is very popular. The foundation of “The Estate” (Vertical/Stone Lane Pictures) is horror, but it’s also amusing, erotic and full of double-crosses. Additionally, it’s somewhat predictable although it tries not to be. To its credit, The Estate features a showy cast including Eric Roberts, Heather Matarazzo, Alexandra Billings and Alexandra Paul, which it milks for all it’s worth. As “The Estate” opens, shallow gay George (Chris Baker, who also wrote the screenplay) is doing a TV interview with Bonnie (Billings) about having survived a horrific event that occurred in his home, prompting him to write the book I, Victim: A Memoir. We then flash back to a year ago. At that time, George is watching TV coverage of the Black and White Gala.

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He is interrupted by Lux (Eliza Coupe), the current wife of his father Marcello (Roberts), shrieking his name. Lux, well aware that Marcello is unfaithful, invites George to go “dumpster diving for dicks” with her. At a seedy bar, they meet a tasty snack named Joe (Greg Finley). They take him back to the Brentwood estate, which is in a state of increasing disrepair, where he has sex with Lux. The next morning, they tell Joe how Marcello treats George and Lux like dirt, making them “grovel for pennies.” Joe, who was abandoned by his own father when he was young, claims to have murdered 18 people as a hitman on the dark web, and offers to kill Marcello. George is freaked out, but Lux is intrigued. Before you know it, George, who is also having sex with bisexual Joe, is on board with the murder plot. The first two deaths are those of Marcello and his driver (Allan Graf). Shortly thereafter, George and Lux have an appointment with Marcello’s lawyer for the reading of the will. It’s there that they meet conniving receptionist Mary (Matarazzo). She will come in handy later after they find out that Marcello has to them, in addition to $10k a month.

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However, he has left all his other possessions to a daughter neither George nor Lux knew anything about. Mary helps them track down cam-sex girl Caitlin (Lala Kent) for a price, and Joe’s killing skills are useful again as they quickly dispose of her. As is perhaps common in psychosexual triangles, petty jealousies arise, alliances form. The law firm’s investigator Ellison (Rif Hutton) grows suspicious of some of the events taking place. Lux tries to get George to team up with her against Joe, pinning everything on him. But her plan backfires as George and Joe have already made a pact of their own and she joins the body count. Segueing back to the present, lovebirds George and Joe are packing up the crumbling estate. George meets with realtor Bethenny (Paul), who tells him the estate is the “site of more murders and disappearances than any other nine-bedroom manse in the area.” He doesn’t care, he just wants it sold. George is delighted when his own longed-for invitation to the Black and White Gala finally arrives in the post. Even better, George is slated to be the guest of honor. But his excitement about being one of two “bloodthirsty, murderous fuckboys” with Joe is short-lived. A phone call from the lawyer reveals that yet another long-

lost heir has been discovered. No spoilers here. Suffice to say that the twisted should-have-seen-it-coming conclusion is one for the ages. : : Rating: B-

life

Our People: Jenny-Jaymes Gunn

Transplanted Texan Talks About Charlotte, Projects and Philosophy by L’Monique King qnotes Staff Writer

“

I’m actually surprised how much I like Charlotte — because I am a trans woman, and North Carolina has a bad history — a dubious history, obviously with the HB2 bill and the backlash. So many organizations and enterprises pulled out because [of] that very tragic hate bill that turned into a law. This year is the first year that it’s been sorted out, with cities and counties passing non-discrimination ordinances.” Those are the sentiments of JennyJaymes Gunn, former Vice President, Communications and LGBT Community liaison for the National Organization for Women (Charlotte Chapter). But that’s not all Jenny had to say about Charlotte, “People here are very progressive – for the south. I think because there are so many transplants, especially within the last few years. They are bringing new ideas. Charlotte is more of a melting pot city like San Francisco or San Antonio. It doesn’t mean the people prior were bad people, just different.” And different is something Jenny knows something about. She’s originally from Amarillo, Texas, quite different from Charlotte. She’s also worked in many different capacities, including film screening for Reel Out Charlotte, a Charlotte Pride Film Festival and in many volunteer positions and advocacy roles. Today, however, she’s stepped into the role of willing interviewee. When asked what her livelihood looks like currently, she offers some details, “I do a lot of freelance and consultant work. I’m selfemployed. Most of it is pretty boring. The volunteer stuff, those are my passions. But they don’t pay, so I do a lot of freelance work because it allows me to set my own hours.” But what exactly is she consulting on? “Currently I have a project going that involves a nonprofit and a for profit company that will provide training for the LGBT community in technology and life skills. It’s directed toward the under-30 LGBT crowd, who may not have gone to college and don’t have a specific skill set to fall back on. So, they would be learning things like computer coding, how to sit down and confidently answer

Jenny-Jaymes Gunn is a freelance consultant based in Charlotte. interview questions, and how to navigate social settings in workspaces. We’re basically trying to create a formal mentorship program.” Sounds wonderful, but the best part of all this for Jenny is being placed within a position to be able to help her community: fellow LGBTQ community members. However and as you might imagine, there’s more to Jaymes than work. She’s also an avid reader and Charlotte Pride book club member.

“I just finished reading Angela Davis’ ‘Freedom is a Constant Struggle’ for the book club. Actually, I didn’t read it. I listened to the audio book which was narrated by her. And because of that I think I got more out of it than people who read it because you hear her inflection and the intention behind her work and her words. She speaks in a very specific way, [and] she uses a lot of pregnant pauses in her language that the rest of the book club wasn’t able to benefit from.”

“After all the struggles she went through. Especially back in the day. All the fights, the imprisonment, and for her to come out on the backend and not be bitter, I don’t know how she does it. It’s powerful and speaks to her power.” “[Davis’] fights are very connected, very intersectional. Sometimes, in progressive circles we get into our silos and we don’t see someone who is different from us as the same. [We neglect to] realize that the source of our struggle is typically the same – hate, which generally comes from the same groups. The same white supremist groups that we’ve always seen throughout our history.” So, what challenges, Jenny? “Ooooooh. A lot. Running into misogyny for the first time as a woman. I guess I knew it existed, but you really don’t know it exists until it’s aimed at you. The first time I ran into it was back in Texas, and I hadn’t been living as Jenny-Jaymes long. “I was on a board for a local pride organization. I ran into a gay male, the Vice President who was mansplaining marketing and events to me; something that I’d been doing for 25 years, and he knew my resume. He was a 30-year-old white male that was literally talking down to me, because he saw me as a woman. So, it was an interesting conversation to say the least.” Gunn confirms her life path has presented some challenges along the way, but insists she wouldn’t change a thing. “Nothing,” she says confidently, “[But] sometimes it’s exhausting. Some days the misgendering or the smirks that I get when I say my pronouns in certain spaces, the microaggressions, can be exhausting. For the most part I ignore that stuff, but every once in a while, I get tired. Sometimes I just want to say, ‘It’s 2021. Get over it!’” Despite some of the opposition she’s faced, Gunn is adamant no one should live their lives in regret. “I think a lot of people beat themselves up for what they didn’t do in their lives,” Gunn explains, “A therapist once told me during the beginning of my transition, ‘You cannot unfuck your past,’ and that made me realize that we can grind about our past and coulda’, shoulda’, woulda’, but it fucks up our day and it hampers our tomorrows. So now I just look forward to sunrises.” : :

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Oct. 29 - Nov. 11, 2021

Qnotes October 29, 2021

Articles inside

Our People: Jenny Jaymes Gunns

Simply Marvelous

‘Raising Ollie: How My Nonbinary Art-Nerd Kid Changed (Nearly) Everything I Know’

Screen Savor

Ophelia and Shingles

News Notes