San Diego Jewish Journal October 2016 by San Diego Jewish Journal

OCTOBER 2016 l ELUL 5776 â&#x20AC;¢ TISHREI 5777

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email: ramonabain@aol.com 2 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

Audiences Are Cheering for This Fall’s Must-See Musical!

Now – October 23 October Sky Book by Brian Hill and Aaron Thielen Music and Lyrics by Michael Mahler Directed and Choreographed by Rachel Rockwell Inspired by the Universal Pictures film and Rocket Boys by Homer H. Hickam, Jr.

Leading Season Sponsors Darlene Marcos Shiley Gloria Rasmussen Season Sponsors Valerie and Harry Cooper Conrad Prebys and Debra Turner Karen and Stuart Tanz Rhona and Rick Thompson ViaSat Sheryl and Harvey White

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858-455-1200

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L’Shanah Tovah

Wishing You a Sweet and Happy New Year

“Whoever practices charity and justice fills the world with loving kindness.” - Talmud

“When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.” - Talmud

“As my father planted for me, so do I plant for my children.” - Talmud

Consider Establishing an Endowment Fund: A forever fund that will support your favorite charity or cause for generations to come. Through a current gift or bequest, donors can demonstrate an enduring commitment to the community and continue the legacy of philanthropy that they have established during their lifetimes.

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The Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards are funded by the Helen Diller Family Foundation, a supporting foundation of the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund.

6 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

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REGISTRATION FEE WAIVED FOR INFORMATION:

www.lfjcc.org • (858) 362-1115 This offer is good for new members only. Must be age 18 or older. May not be used toward Teen, Public Servant, or Corporate Memberships. Annual membership must be paid in full at time of registration. Discount applies to initial annual membership contract only. Current JCC members call the membership office for special renewal offers. Standard membership rates apply to future renewals. Offer good through October 31, 2016!

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 7

CONTENTS

October 2016

Elul 5776/Tishrei 5777

HIGH HOLIDAYS:

Remarkable handmade Torah pointers are on display for the first time ever in San Diego's historic Jewelers Exchange building.

HIGH HOLIDAYS: San Diego's newest rabbi in residence has a new book out which explains the ancient hows and whys of the Jewish holidays, starting with Rosh Hashanah and working its way through the entire calendar.

SENIORS: Sally Jassy had been held at Bergen-Belsen for months before the camp was liberated by the British in 1949. In 2016, her son and granddaughter went back for the first time and a film crew was there to capture the emotion of an uncomfortable reunion.

THEATER: For a very short run early November, the San Diego Opera will stage an immersive audio-visual experience that chronicles the sound and fury of war. Pat Launer speaks with the Israeli creative team that brings the story to life.

BOOK FAIR PREVIEW: Jennifer Weiner writes books that sell, but that doesn't mean she has everything else in her life figured out. The bestselling author speaks with SDJJ editor Natalie Jacobs ahead of her appearance at the Jewish Book Fair this month.

8 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

CHA

Chabad Hebrew Academy

Mommy & Me

MONTHLY COLUMNS 12 The Starting Line 22 Parenting 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Spirituality 82 Advice

39 HIGH HOLIDAYS:

AROUND TOWN 18 Our Town 20 The Scene 74 What's Goin' On

46 SENIORS:

IN EVERY ISSUE 14 Mailbag 16 What’s Up Online 76 Diversions 78 News 80 Shabbat Sheet

11/1, 11/8, 11/15, 11/22, 11/29 & 12/6

Classic and less traditional High Holiday recipes with a Russian flair for your feasts.

44 SENIORS:

Seacrest @ Home prepares to launch new emergency companion program. Group meets locally to discuss prostate cancer treatment and prevention.

53 FEATURE:

The epic community-wide effort Shabbat San Diego returns in a big way.

60 TRAVEL:

A photographic exploration of Marsala's mostly-hidden Jewish tapestries.

69 BOOK FAIR PREVIEW:

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

Journalist Janice Kaplan offers suggestions for living a grateful life.

31 HIGH HOLIDAYS:

72 FOOD:

Remembering the lessons of a "quirky Jewish mother" this Holiday season.

Tuesdays

Cornish game hens with a citrusy twist.

Yoga & Music Fun & Friendship Stories & Crafts $5 per class • RSVP requested wleberman@chasd.org

NOW ENROLLING 2017-2018

Infants - 8th Grade www.chasd.org • 858-566-1996 ext. 1204 Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 9

You are going to have to make some choices, but you don’t have to make them alone.

www.sdjewishjournal.com October 2016 • Elul 5776/Tishrei 5777

Changing jobs can be difficult but we are with you every step of the way.

• Retirement Plans • Life/Disability Insurance • Investment Strategies

PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Managing Director-‐ Investments CA Insurance ic #0C28496 Jeffrey R Jeffrey Liber, CRFP® LLiber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

Managing Director-‐ D Investments Managing irector-‐ Investments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Waddell jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Alissa

AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Alissa Waddell Alissa WDRaddell Jeffrey Liber, Investments CFP® Managing irector-‐ CA Insurance LD ic irector-‐ #0C28496 AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate Managing Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA insurance Lic #0I18483 CA insurance Lic #0I18483

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Eva Beim, Judith Fein 12531 igh BBluff luff DDrive, rive, SSTE TE 4400 00 12531HHigh (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Brie Stimson, Pat 12531 High Drive, STE 400 STE 400 12531 High Bluff Drive, San iego, CCA A B9luff 2130 SanDDiego, 92130 Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Jon Schwartz, Marnie 858-532-7904 858-532-7904 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 858-‐ 523-‐ 7904 McCauley, Rabbi Jacob Rupp 858-‐523-‐858-‐ 7904 523-‐7904

Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA®

Senior Vice President-‐ Investments CA IDon nsurance Lic #0821851 Lincoln, CLFP®, CIMA® Don incoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400

Senior ISnvestments 12531 VHice igh PBresident-‐ luff rive, TE 400 Investments Senior VDice President-‐ CA 92130 San Diego, 9San 2130 CA Insurance Lic C#A 0821851 CA Insurance Lic D#iego, 0821851 858-‐ 5 23-‐ 7 904 858-‐523-‐7904 Gina Grimmer don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate

CA insurance Lic #0178195 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Gina rimmer Don GLincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Senior Vice President-‐ Investments CA Registered Insurance LRegistered ic 0821851 C#lient ssociate Client Associate Senior VAice President-‐ Investments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0178195

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EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate Gina Gnon-bank rimmer affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Alissa Waddell ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: ronniew@sdjewishjournal.com Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Gina Grimmer Alissa W addell ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com Investment and Insurance Products: Products: !NOT FDIC Insured Bank!NO Guarantee !MAY Lose ValueLose Value and Insurance !NOT FDIC!NO Insured Bank Guarantee !MAY Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Investment alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate AVP -‐ R egistered C lient A ssociate LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com Wells FargoWells Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered and a separate of Wells Fargo & Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is abroker-dealer registered broker-dealer andnon-bank a separateaffiliate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo &

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SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA Investment and Insurance Products: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or CERTIFIED FAMILY LAW SPECIALIST changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become Board of Legal Specialization State Bar of California the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2016 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460)

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#SDJewishJournal

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THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Parenthetical

n page 69 of this magazine you’ll find a small story on a small-ish book called “The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on the Bright Side Can Transform Your Life.” Say what you will about self-help books (and in all honesty, I’ll probably agree with most of your snark) – but sometimes it is nice to have someone else’s voice in your head saying, “you have the power to persevere if only you do these simple things” (never mind the fact that if you take the self-help genre as a whole you’ll end up with somewhere near 1.3 billion “simple things” you should be doing to improve your life). Still, one New Year’s Eve a few years ago, journalist Janice Kaplan had an interesting idea, and perhaps because she was writing a book on it, she stuck with that idea for a whole year. Every night of that year, she was going to write down three things that she was grateful for and in the process, she would learn how to turn lemons into lemonade, she would test the true power of positive thinking, she would...you get the idea, you’ve heard the clichés. According to all the examples outlined in her nearly 300-page book (which her publishers will try to tell you is a memoir), finding, feeling and focusing on gratitude worked for her. She became a happier, healthier, more fully functioning human (who was already a best-selling author with a handsome doctor for a husband, an apartment in Manhattan and a house in Connecticut, and two successful adult male children but hey, always room for improvement, right?). (See, I’m with you on the snark train.) Anyway, when I read a book I can’t help but ruminate on the text even if I find it easy to make fun of, so in the weeks that followed my time with “The Gratitude Diaries” I occasionally did say to myself “find gratitude” in all manner of situations (my yoga instructor would be so proud). I won’t write a book about it, but it did make me feel bet-

12 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

ter. Especially when I got some news that bruised my ego. A couple months ago I was invited to run for a seat on the Board of the San Diego Press Club. I was flattered and sent in my candidate statement right away. Elections rolled around and I went through a mental list of every Press Club member I knew. I came up with three, so I had an inkling the end might be near. But I rattled off what I hoped were presidential-sounding emails soliciting support. “I’m running for a seat on the Press Club Board and I’d really appreciate your vote!” or something like that. A week or so later, the votes were in and I didn’t make the cut. First, I let myself feel sad and disappointed and, because I felt I deserved a little indulgence, I even went so far as to come up with a whole scenario where my very invitation to run was part of a broader scheme meant to stack the deck in someone else’s favor (maybe I’ll write a book about that!). But then, gratitude arrived and instead of closing the door and hollering “NO SOLICITING!” I let it in and we sat down for tea. Turns out, I’m not a total failure and I can still be good at my journalism job after suffering this defeat. I’m grateful for the invitation and the kind words that accompanied it. I’m grateful for the opportunity to present myself to a group of unknown colleagues. I’m grateful that I had the chance to contact some people I really respect, ask for their support, and receive it. Didn’t someone once write in a book something about when one door closes another opens? Here’s to looking on the bright side. A

movers&

Shakers

The city of San Diego has made Oct. 18 Joey Landwehr day in honor of his contributions to the arts, notably his work with J*Company.

⦿

Tina Levy Friedman joined the San Diego Opera as the company’s Chief Development Officer on Aug. 29, 2016. Friedman comes to SD Opera from the Jewish Federation of Palm Springs and Desert Area.

⦿

Nan Sterman, creator and host of the public television show “A Growing Passion,” received this year’s Paul Ecke Jr. Award of Excellence at the San Diego Botanic Garden’s annual Gala in the Garden.

⦿

Jewish Family Service has hired Krizia Puig, a native of Venezuela and second-year graduate student at SDSU, as Girls Give Back Coordinator.

This Rosh HaShanah, make a healthy New Year a reality for millions of Israelis.

Magen David Adom serves Israelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 8.5 million people, providing emergency medical aid, ambulance services, and blood to the injured and ill. Last year, MDA responded to 600,000 emergencies, saving thousands of lives. Join us in this sacred work. Thank you and our best wishes for a healthy New Year. AFMDA Western Region 6505 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 450 Los Angeles, CA 90048 Toll-Free 800.323.2371 western@afmda.org www.afmda.org l

Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 13

we’re listening let us know what’s on your mind Simply Wonderful

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Nathan Strich appears with permission as this month’s cover star. The photo was taken by Laura Jucha at the Temple Solel Tashlich service in 2013. Although the date is a few years old by now, we think the message of hope and optimism for the new year remains as prescient as ever. We continue our coverage of High Holidays themes with this issue, starting on page 28.

Dear Editor: I want to send you a torrent of kudos for your Sept. issue’s editor’s letter [“One-Hit Wonders”] and even more for your superb article “The Rise of the Donor Advised Fund.” Only a fine journalist (and I mean this in the “old school,” conscientious, fact-checking and analyzing sense) would not only understand, but be able to convey with such clarity and organized thought process a complex topic like that one. Dina Eliash Robinson and Lew Robinson La Jolla

Unprecedented Indeed As an American and a Senior, I had to respond to the article in the September issue, “The Unprecedented Uncertainty of 2016."” Just how many more lies, scandals and danger to the American people by Hillary Clinton and her clan will be ignored before people wake up

to the obvious? Will it take the destruction of our country as we know it? She promises to open the doors of America to 650,000+ refugees of countries breeding Islamic Terrorists. Those who should be fighting terrorism in their own country will be infiltrated into America to destroy us from within our very own cities and towns. It only takes one terrorist to cause tragedy. Yes, Donald Trump is different. He is not a politician; he cannot be bought; he says what he thinks, but is learning he can’t say everything he feels. Every word Trump utters is taken out of context to make him appear incapable of being president, while Hillary’s deceit is granted reprieve after reprieve. Trump loves this country. That’s why he’s running for office. He is open to learning, listens to advice of knowledgeable people, is a successful businessman, and clearly sees the problems/dangers America faces. He will lower taxes, instill more jobs, decrease welfare

@SANDIEGOJEWISHJOURNAL CORRECTIONS In the article “The Rise of the Donor Advised Fund” [Sept. 2016], the wrong pronoun was used to identify Ray Madoff in the final paragraph. Madoff is a woman and should have been referred to as “she.” The corrected version is available on our website. The SDJJ regrets this error.

14 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

recipients, enhance schooling, eradicate Obamacare, and other conditions to enhance our country. Trump's son-in-law is a Jew; his daughter converted to Judaism. Therefore, I guarantee Israel’s safety will be one of his highest priorities. However, the most important Number One Priority is to immediately build a wall to keep Americans safe. This very important election will determine whether our lives will continue in freedom or we're slaughtered because of our religious beliefs. I am not being overly dramatic. Think, and look what Israel faces every day. We will live the same nightmare if we elect Clinton. Never mind, Democrat or Republican, or whether you “like” him or not. This is far beyond that. He will not allow thousands of Syrians into America with no documentation to verify who they are, what they believe, or what their intentions are. Donald Trump is our only answer for survival. Sondra Burke San Diego

Frederick Schenk

Gayle Blatt

Adam Levine

Wishing the San Diego Jewish community a Happy New Year. L’Shanah Tovah 5777

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 15

whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up on sdjewishjournal.com

BERNIE SANDERS FLAME STILL BURNS

ONE BIG YEAR, IN REVIEW No new-year celebration would be complete without a year in review. JTA has us covered with a comprehensive, month-by-month run-down of the biggest stories from 5776, from terrorist attacks to Olympic medals.

You can't possibly have forgotten the surpisingly successful presidential bid of the Jewish senator from Vermont. As promised, Sanders is working to keep the "revolution" going. At the end of the summer he announced a new platform for how he's going to do that. It includes support for candidates in down-ballot races, among other things which are outlined in this online story.

A WORD OF WATER CAUTION

OBAMA, NETANYAHU AGREE ON AID PACKAGE

The city and state may have lifted some water restrictions after what was a relatively wet winter. But conservationists still think it's wise to keep an eye on your water use. Four years of drought doesn't go away in one moderately wet winter. An op-ed in favor of this argument is on our website.

The Obama and Netanyahu administrations in mid-September signed a muchawaited MOU outlining increased aid to Israel, to the tune of $38 billion. But onlookers have noted that while the number is higher than the last MOU signed under the W. Bush administration, some powers have been taken away from Congress which makes some people, especially Senator Lindsay Graham, very uncomfortable. Rumor has it, Bibi told Graham to back-off so the deal could get made in the first place. So much drama in the W.D.C.

16 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

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To a Sweet, Happy, and Prosperous New Year!

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‫שנה טובה‬

4164

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A MERRILL GARDENS COMMUNITY

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 17 091516d_Patrician_SD_Jewish_Journal_Livhome_A.indd 1

9/16/16 2:36 PM

our TOWN BY LINDA BENNET AND BETSY BARANOV

PHOTOS BY CAROL SONSTEIN

SDJFF Kick-Off

The 27th annual kick-off party for The San Diego Jewish Film Festival was held Aug. 21 at the Jewish Community Center. The San Diego premiere of “In Search of Israeli Cuisine” was shown in the David and Dorothea Garfield Theatre. After the screening, Film Festival underwriters enjoyed an Israeli dinner around the pool catered by In Good Taste. Music was provided by Second Avenue Klezmer Ensemble. Some enjoying the evening were Jerri-Ann and Gary Jacobs, Sharon and David Wax, Sandra Silverstein, Renee Feinswog, Saundra and Herschel Saperstein, Jody Roseman, Cathy and John Weil, Alyssa Sepinwall, Sharon and Richard Gabriel, Cecile Jordan, Matt and Nancy Browar, Roberta and Norman Green, Bobbie Laufer, Carol and Danny Strub, Stan Hoffman and July Galper, Helen and Don Fleming and Fanny Krasner.

Birthdays...

Happy 85th birthday to Lorraine Zuckerman! Happy 80th birthday to Carol Goodman! Happy 80th birthday to Marsha Stein Hicks!

Mazel tovs...

Mazel tov to Owen Benjamin and Ryan Jacobson on their B’nai Mitzvah Aug. 13! Mazel tov to Claire Leah Handler on her Bat Mitzvah Sept. 3!

Anniversaries...

Happy 50th anniversary to Sharon and Nat Koren!

18 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Saundra Sapperstein, Joyce Axelrod, Judy Friedel and Fran Ginsburg • Udi Barkai, Ori Barkai, Irwin and Gloria Zalkin • Dorothy Kalins, Roger Sherman, Dave Roberts • Matt and Nancy Browar.

unplug

/shabbatsandiego

@shabbatsandiego

underwritten by the mizel family foundation 10-12 NOVEMBER 2016

plug into shabbat NOV 10-12

Hosted shabbat meals mega challah bakes in north & east county unity havdalah celebration #Keepingittogether #shabbatcandothat

the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY DOUGLAS GATES ("CELEBRATING COUTURE") AND ERIKA THORNES PHOTOGRAPHY ("SUMMERFEST GALA")

Celebrating Couture The Globe Guilders hosted their annual “Celebrating Couture” luncheon and fashion show recently. The afternoon event, held at the Marriott Marquis San Diego Marina, raised funds for the Old Globe’s artistic and arts engagement programs. After lunch, Neiman Marcus put on a spectacular fashion show, featuring couture by internationally-acclaimed designers, such as Oscar de la Renta, Naeem Khan and Carolina Herrera. Guests had an opportunity to admire the fashions up close after the runway show.

SummerFest Gala La Jolla Music Society hosted the annual SummerFest Gala, in honor of its 30th anniversary, at the home of Iris and Matthew Strauss, known affectionately as “Rancho del Arte.” Guests experienced an elegant evening of music, art and cuisine by Chef Jeffrey Strauss of Pamplemousse Grille. The concert featured the Escher String Quartet, violinist Yura Lee and SummerFest Music Director Cho-Liang Lin.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Nina Doede, Sheryl White, Karen Cohn and Barry Edelstein • Matthew and Iris Strauss, Joan and Irwin Jacobs • Bill and Susan Hoehn • John Yamauchi, Sarah Zaknoen, Marianne Beyster and Derek Floyd • Linda Van Vark, Robert and Stacy Foxworth, Dick and Barbara Enberg, Angie DeCaro • Pat and Norm Gillespie.

20 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 21

MUSINGS FROM MAMA

by Sharon Rosen Leib

PARENTING srleib@me.com

The High Holiday Dilemma

osh Hashanah and Yom Kippur both fall on school days this year, leading to another round of debate over whether to send the kids to school. In elementary and middle school, before the kids had more freedom of choice, the answer in our family remained clear. They missed school and attended children’s services at our Reform synagogue (post-Bat Mitzvahs, they even helped with the services). Once they hit high school, the equation changed. In the academic horse race of secondary education, missing two days of school for the High Holidays increased our fillies’ skittishness. They feared lagging behind. This problem became evermore dire when the Holidays fell later in the school calendar, as they do this year, potentially interfering with mid-term preparations or, most distressing of all, the exams themselves. So what’s a conscientious parent to do, short of sending them to a Jewish day school with built-in Jewish holidays off (a wonderful option but not viable for everyone)? We certainly don’t want to create more anxiety for our already stressed-out children. We can teach them to become assertive advocates for their Jewish selves and discuss the problem of missed classwork with their teachers. However, some of the kids lack the confidence and/or will to make waves at the beginning of the school year – an understandable dilemma, particularly for freshmen. When the kids do muster the courage to request special Holiday consideration, teachers aren’t always receptive. Oldest Daughter told me that when she attended public high school most of her teachers, particularly in over-enrolled AP classes, weren’t sympathetic when she asked to have extra time for makeup work after Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Her AP English language teacher said, “It’s not an excused absence.” I’m not alleging anti-Semitism in our public schools. Some 22 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

teachers simply feel too overwhelmed by their large class sizes and bound by rigid lesson plans to grant extension requests. But the fact that Oldest Daughter remembers this abrupt dismissal of the Holidays five years later demonstrates the teacher made her feel awkward about expressing her Judaism and requesting accommodation. Parental intervention with school higher-ups doesn’t necessarily work either. Two years ago, a vice president of our synagogue’s board of directors approached the San Dieguito Unified High School Superintendent to notify him that both Holidays fell on school days for the 2015-2017 school years. She reached out to other Jewish parents in the district to both write the Superintendent letters and attend a meeting requesting at least one of the two days be made non-instructional. I wrote a letter (to which he never replied) but couldn’t make the meeting. Our synagogue vice president informed me the superintendent acknowledged the letters and the parents’ concerns. He took the time to meet with several local rabbis, did some calendar gymnastics and took one of last year’s Holidays off the calendar. He promised to look into it for future calendaring. However, I just read he’s leaving the district to assume a post in Northern California – thus kicking the High Holiday can down the road. So when teachers and higher authorities don’t honor our Holiday needs – it’s on us as Jewish parents to make some judgment calls. In our family, we’ve negotiated with Youngest Daughter throughout her high school career to at least take Yom Kippur off when it falls on a school day. It’s not an ideal scenario for either of us – she definitely hasn’t been thrilled about missing even one day of school, and we would of course love for her to attend all services with us. But no one ever said being Jewish was easy. A

New Releases “Good People” Israeli author Nir Baram’s book “Good People” will be released in English translation this month. Baram is praised as the Dostoyevsky of Israel and this novel is said to showcase great talent, momentum and ingenuity.

“Michael Bloomfield: The Rise and Fall of an American Guitar Hero” Rife with juicy rock ’n roll history and “brilliant” biographical detail about this Jewish kid from Chicago’s North Side, “Michael Bloomfeld” explores a relatively unsung guitar hero.

“Defying the Nazis: The Sharps’ War” Last month, we told you about the movie that played at the GI Film Festival. Since then, it also screened at the White House and on national Public Broadcasting stations. Now, you can get your hands on the book.

Volunteers Are the Heart of Jewish Family Service

Shanah Tovah

If you’re looking to do good in the New Year, we’re looking for you. Jewish Family Service offers more than 30 volunteer positions! One-time and longer-term positions available for individuals, families, and groups!

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 23

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

The Wedding

oarding the flight to New York, I felt uncharacteristically calm. The schedule for the next six days was so tightly crafted that my usual fears of not maximizing “visiting time” were completely abated. All catching-up and chit-chats would have to take place between Sabbath meals, songs, prayer sessions and loading and unloading car trunks. To make things even simpler (if less loving), I was traveling without the South African hubby who remains a relative newcomer on our family scene. As amicable as he is, I was free from worrying about whether he felt bored or neglected. Waiting for me at the airport was my dearest friend who, ordinarily, does not drive after sunset. The ride back to her seaside home felt more treacherous than space travel but I was touched by this display of love. Having warned her that my walking was bad in this month prior to long-awaited knee-replacement surgery, she made no mention of my Quasimodo strut. We’d spend the next 36 hours eating a lot, laughing more, sleeping a tad, and drinking more wine and beer than usual. Kathy is secular but, in my honor, she stocked her home with enough take-out food from the local kosher gourmet shop to outfit a Chabad Shabbaton. 24 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

No longer able to fit into my simcha dress, I appeared on the doorstep of my 86-yearold mother and awaited the arrival of my sister who drove down from Boston in order that we all continue driving to Silver Spring together for the celebratory Shabbat (Ufruf) and wedding of my nephew. Before starting this leg of the trip, both mom and sis inspected my dress and said, “You wore that for the last wedding.” (Apparently things that are acceptable in Israel don’t cut it in America.) We located a suitable black number in the back of the walk-in and took off. I found myself crying with gratitude at how every aspect of the festivities that led up to the chuppah and subsequent celebrations mirrored Jewish practice for well-over 6,000 years. The Shabbos was peppered with blessings and speeches that praised not only the bride, groom, their loving families and friends, but constantly referred to our holy mesorah (tradition) that has ensured Jewish continuity over the millennia. I looked about at the faces that are now included in my growing family circle and felt humbled by the bounty that G-d has bestowed on me and mine. Dresses, catering, destinations, cosmetics, music and photography are surface-scratchers in the behemoth wedding industry. It

The Shabbos was peppered with blessings and speeches that praised not only the bride, groom, their loving families and friends, but constantly referred to our holy mesorah (tradition) that has ensured Jewish continuity over the millennia. seems to me that much financial and emotional energy is spent in questionable places. One promotion after another touts the special occasion as the “most important day of your life.” But is it really? Am I the only one who genuinely believes that the day after one’s wedding is far more important? That if a fraction of wedding planning went into the synchronization of values and life-views, things would bode better for the future? Returning to Israel, I feel at peace knowing that my gentle nephew and his loving bride have forged another powerful link in an eternal chain that stretches from Silver Spring to Sinai. A

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TORAH By Rabbi Jacob Rupp, NCSY San Diego

SPIRITUALITY rabbirupp@gmail.com

The Power of Purpose

“T

hus the heaven and the earth were finished, and all their array. By the seventh day G-d completed His work; so on the seventh day He rested. G-d blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because on it He abstained from all His work of creating that He had done.” Genesis 2:1-3 Shabbat is fundamental to Jewish life. It’s the great vaccination Jews have against getting lost in the shuffle, in favor of keeping proper perspective and mindfulness. More than Jews keeping Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jews. Why? From the Torah we see a strange paradox; It says G-d finished creating. But then it mentions that G-d abstained, which means He stopped working but there was more work to be done. Somehow this act of abstention wasn’t just a stop, but an action in and of itself. This was such an action that G-d blessed the day He did it above all other days. The power of Shabbat is the lesson that life is meaningful because we have a mission – a mission that requires us to work daily to create. We create our families, we create ourselves through what we learn, how we eat, what we do with our bodies. We create jobs, and we create opportunity. The world is one of action. But the action has a point. And the point is to stop creating. The point is to recognize that we are both actors and bystanders. By stopping creative action one day a week, we can create an awareness that the world is outside of our hands and outside of our control. The world was here before us and will be there after us. This awareness is the greatest gift one can internalize about life. In one breath, it means that our actions do matter. They really matter, because they are ours. The 26 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

world isn’t the same without us. If I don’t perform today, create today, do what needs to be done today, I missed my moment in creation. But on the other hand, there is a world beyond me. G-d exists beyond me. It’s His world and I’m just an infinitesimal part of it. That means it’s all going to be ok. All the pain in the world, the missed opportunities, the events that seem so hard and pointless…they are all orchestrated. Part of something so much bigger than us. We need to live our lives with this awareness. We are obligated to work and grow till our last breath. To build the world, make it better, and contribute our unique gift that is in us. We must express ourselves. But then we have to realize that we don’t need to do anything at all to be valuable and important. G-d expresses His love for us not for what we do but who we are inherently. Intrinsically He loves us. Even when we stop working, He keeps us around. Not only that, He praises us more! Imagine being loved for you, not for what you do. Think of the security, the freedom. It’s already ours. To get there, us accomplished people with our impressive resumes, need to say to G-d “It’s Your world, I trust You to handle the details on a macro and micro level and trust that You know what You are doing. I just work here.” In a world of action, it is hard to see beyond yourself and what you personally impact. It’s easy, in a world without Shabbat, to see life as nothing but cause and effect. The world becomes a cold, calculated, dead place. Conversely, in a world of no action, you don’t matter. You exist but on no merit of your own. So G-d gave us Shabbat. He built a world, but then He rested, and by resting created the space for blessing. We can

become partners with G-d if we see our actions as significant, but take the opportunity to stop working and to contemplate that there is a primary, bigger world beyond us. A Rabbi Jacob Rupp is director of NCSY San Diego. He can be reached at rabbirupp@gmail.com.

 This

month’s Torah portions Oct. 1: Nitzavim (Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20) Oct. 8: Vayelech (Deuteronomy 31:1-31:30) Oct. 15: Ha’azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-32:52) Oct. 22: Chol HaMo’ed Sukkot (Exodus 33:12-34:26) Oct. 29: B’reisheet (Genesis 1:1-6:8)

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 27

PHOTO COURTESY MARJI NIGHTINGALE

high holidays

Handmade Torah pointers by David and Marji Nightingale.

avid and Marji Nightingale have had a poster of Torah pointers from the San Diego Museum of Art’s “Precious Legacy” exhibition hanging in their custom jewelry shop since 1986. The shop, still called Wechsler & Goodman Jewelry after the partners from whom the Nightingales bought the business, is on the third floor of the Jewelers Exchange building downtown. The poster of the yad hangs at the end of a long counter where David and Marji’s designs in silver, gold and gemstone are organized by style beneath impeccably smudge-free glass. Now, another glass case, this one full of real Torah pointers, joins the poster on the wall and the two make a perfect pair. The jewelers have been collaborating on the design and fabrication of unique Torah pointers for about two years, but the display case took some convincing. “I wanted to get a representation so I wouldn’t have someone come back and say ‘I wanted that one,’” says David Nightingale. Marji hints that the delay may also have had something to do with an emotional attachment to the designs. In a decades-long career of repairing other people’s pieces and designing to a client’s specifications, these Torah pointers are entirely the Nightingale’s. “Lots of rabbis bring things for me to fix,” David says, “Torah pointers, wine cups,” he offers as example. It was after the same rabbi with the same Torah pointer came in for the fourth or fifth time that David said enough. He wouldn’t fix that Torah pointer anymore. Instead, he made the rabbi a new one. “I made it kryptonite proof,” he says with a big mustacheoed smile. Marji opens the case and flips the chain to free one for David

to show me. With his bulbous and blackened fingers, the 30-year jeweler points to the tiny silver hand at the tip of the yad. It’s smaller than the pad of his thumb. Before David gifted his first Torah pointer to the rabbi, he says a man from the building saw it and wanted a custom one. “For his father’s memorial,” David says. Each of the Nightingale’s Torah pointers are made up of at least four pieces that are either hand-cast and carved by David, or repurposed from vintage flatware that Marji collects and strips. One Nightingale yad features walrus tusk that was taken from a vanity found at an estate sale. Another includes tourmaline with a Hebrew star symbolically positioned on the back of the pointer. Marji, who confesses she’s been called the “queen of flatware,” says her favorite pointer started as a button hook from Victorian times. She points to another where the handle came from a challah knife. Though it is obvious that each pointer is carefully and intentionally crafted with thin lines of swirling silver, when I describe them as delicate David and Marji are quick to correct me. They note that their yad are substantial pieces that are not fragile or dainty. There will be no need to take repair orders for these, if or when the couple decide to sell them. The Nightingales say they’ve made 25 pieces so far, and 19 are on display in the glass case where they will be exhibited for an undetermined amount of time. Visitors are welcome to view the pieces anytime. A Wechsler & Goodman Jewelry, owned and operated by David and Marji Nightingale, is located at 861 Sixth Ave., Suite 318. Call (619) 2356666 for hours and viewing information. GRAPHIC COURTESY JEWISH COMMUNITY FOUNDATION

28 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 29

The Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education wishes our partner schools, friends and supporters a year of happiness, good health, success and educational growth!

‫שנה טובה‬

Learn from the past, Study the present, Transform the future! Toras Emes

Bais Chaya Mushka • Emek Hebrew Academy • Harkham Hillel • Kabbalah Childrens Academy • Yavneh Hebrew Academy • Cheder Menachem • De Toledo High School • YULA Boys • YULA Girls • Harkham Gaon Academy • Valley Torah High School for Girls Tarbut V’ Torah • San Diego Jewish Academy • Soille San Diego Hebrew Day School • Southern CA Yeshiva High School Torah High School of San Diego • Yeshiva Ketana of Los Angeles • Pressman Academy • Yeshiva Ahron Yaakov Ohr Eliyahu

To learn more about CIJE visit www.thecije.org or call 212-757-1500 or email info@thecije.org

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Technion people, ideas and inventions make immeasurable contributions to Israel’s economy and security.

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To find out more about programs in the community, contact: MARK GREENBERG, San Diego Chapter Director 858.750.2135 30 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

mgreenberg@ats.org

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PHOTO COURTESY DIANA BLETTER

high holidays

The author with her mother.

y mother died on the morning before Yom Kippur two years ago, and my sister and I were not at all surprised. Irreverent, quirky and eccentric, my mother always kvetched about Yom Kippur and would have done anything to miss it. Dying right before the fast day, the holiest day of the Jewish year, meant my mother was up to her old tricks until the very end. It wasn’t because she was anti-Jewish; she was fiercely Jewish, but she’d made up her own brand of Judaism. She always said that Jews should never apologize to G-d: G-d should apologize to the Jews. On Yom Kippur, instead of following a traditional fast, she sat at the kitchen table all day as if on guard, manning the telephone, reading the newspaper and watching the news on tv in case something bad happened, primarily to her people. A first-generation American, she rebelled against her Polish-born mother’s traditions because she viewed them as a blend of superstition and limitation. Yet she was still my best teacher when it came to understanding what being a Jew was all about. To my sister, Cynthia, and me, she passed on an enormous sense of pride. Freud was Jewish! Ralph Lauren was Jewish! All the really talented people on “Satur-

day Night Live” were Jewish! On Sunday mornings, armed with a cup of her strong, black coffee from her Corning Ware percolator that seemed about as ancient as the Dead Sea Scrolls, a sesame bagel with the insides pulled out and a cigarette burning, she’d comb the Style section of The New York Times, studying the names and faces in every wedding announcement, making her own calculations. She counted how many Jews she thought were lost (if the couple was married by an officiating minister), who was gained (if there was only a rabbi) or if it was a tie (both a minister and a rabbi or a judge). When Yom Kippur rolled around each autumn, her anger at G-d was reignited. On a macro scale, G-d let Hitler get away with the Holocaust. On a micro level, G-d caused her father to die of a heart attack when she was 5, forcing my grandmother to raise five children on her own in the Bronx. Despite her outrage, my mother still trooped into the kitchen and followed my grandmother’s recipes for brisket, stuffed cabbage, matzah ball soup with matzah balls so light they defied gravity, and kasha varnishkes. But she cooked while doing a dozen other things, so Cynthia and I held contests each holiday about who found Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 31

the oddest item in her dishes: Besides the usual stray hairs, we discovered cigarette ashes, a fake fingernail and a rubber band. My mother claimed her belonging to a people who had lost so much to the world and who, despite it all, gave so much back. She was convinced that a Jew’s inheritance was the task of setting things right, and took Cynthia and me out of school to attend demonstrations and marches for civil rights and liberal causes. There’s a Jewish saying, “If you save one life, you save the world,” and my mother taught me that with just your own life, you can try to at least improve something. With her pulse on Jewish American culture, she offered her scathing critiques to anyone who happened to be within the circumference of her cigarette smoke. She railed against the stereotypes of the Jewish mother and the Jewish American Princess because she sensed, far earlier than most social commentators, that these caricatures of Jewish women would push Jewish men away from Jewish women. Intermarriage statistics proved her right. That Jewish men laughed at Jewish women, distancing themselves, outraged her. She taught me that words have power. She wasn’t too thrilled, to put it mildly, when I picked up and moved from New York to Israel, leaving her behind, even though she was the one who sent me to Israel in the first place, when I was 16. She ranted each time she called me, but she still paid for my four kids and me to fly back to visit her each summer. What was the lesson? You can — you must — rail against what is bashert, or fated for you, and then you have to do whatever you can to make things better. The last conversation I had with her was right before she slipped into unconsciousness, the night before I flew back to New York to be with her. Cynthia — who took care of her better than the best of caretakers in her house — had set up Skype for her and I got to see her in her favorite armchair, the whirl of her oxygen machine stopping only so that she could smoke another cigarette. “I love you and I’ll always love you,” she told me into the camera. Then she shouted, “Cynthia! How do I shut this damn thing off?” Rain pounded the roof, lightning flashed and the thunder was louder than fireworks the night she died. It was the perfect theatrical exit for my subversive mother. In the morning, after her soul left for who knows where, after the rains moved on, and the sky went back to empty and blue, a rabbi came to the house to make funeral arrangements. He stood at the foot of her bed, talking quietly to Cynthia and me. I said politely to the rabbi, “I don’t think my mother would have wanted you seeing her when she’s dead.” And then I heard my mother’s voice, and I could have sworn I heard her grumbling "I didn’t want to see him when I was alive." So, nu, as she would have said, she didn’t instill in me how to be a Jew in the conventional way. She didn’t teach me how to believe, but she taught me how to question. And is there anything more Jewish than that? A Diana Bletter is the author of the novel “A Remarkable Kindness” (HarperCollins), the intertwined stories of four American women who are friends and members of a burial circle in a small beach village in Israel. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, The Forward and other publications. Diana lives with her husband and children in a real beach village in Israel, where she is a member of a burial circle. She can be found at dianabletter.com. Follow her @dianabletter. 32 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

SISTERS by CHOICE present

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Select items from artists and baskets from local businesses! For more information contact Bonnie Baron at bonnieebaron@gmail.com or Cecile Fleetwood at jewelrydragon@gmail.com Please note: Not all of our artists will be able to accept credit/debit cards. Cash and checks preferred.

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May You and Your Loved Ones Be Inscribed for a Year Filled with Blessings.

Celebrate with us by making your reservations for High Holy Day Services by Sept. 28, 2016

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Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

HAVING HOMEWORK HASSLES?

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B’nai Shalom Affiliated with United Synagogue of Conservation Judaism Serving San Diego and North County

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

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Rosh Hashana Service: Sunday Oct. 2nd at 7:30pm-Erev Service Monday Oct. 3rd at 9:30am-1:00pm Tuesday Oct. 4th at 9:30am-1:00pm at TEMPLE Yom Kippur: Tuesday Oct. 11th at 6:30pm-Kol Nidre Services Wednesday Oct. 12th: 9:30am-2:00pm Conducting Services: 11:00am Yiskor Rabbi Hillel Silverman and 2:00pm-5:00pm-Break Cantor Vladimir Staerman 5:00pm-6:30pm-Neliah followed by break the fast at B’nai Shalom

Support our dog’s Hebrew education! Students Give the Gift of Sight to Israeli Blind Students are urged to help sponsor a puppy, either as a class Tzedakah Project, or as a Mitzvah Project for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah, to assist blind Israeli veterans and civilians in regaining their lives.

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www.BnaiShalomSD.org 201 E. Broadway, Vista, CA 34 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

www.israelguidedog.org

high holidays

Searching for G-d in Jewish Texts Starting with Rosh Hashanah, Rabbi Nathan Laufer tackles big questions around Jewish holidays in his latest book BY BRIE STIMSON

abbi Nathan Laufer says “every holiday is a commemoration and celebration of when G-d showed up.” Laufer, who recently moved to San Diego, just finished his book “Rendezvous With G-d: Revealing the Meaning of the Jewish Holidays and Their Mysterious Rituals,” and he says he only writes to fix problems that need to be solved. He spoke with the San Diego Jewish Journal about what he discovered from this most recent endeavor. The interview has been edited for length.

understood it as commemorating creation takes us back 2,500 years … To make matters worse, in the liturgy when you do the Kiddush on Rosh Hashanah … you’d think this is to remember creation, but it doesn’t say that. We say that on Shabbat. We say to remember creation, to remember the Exodus. But on Rosh Hashanah you say only to remember the Exodus. So it was that problem and my need to write a good sermon – it prompted me to start to rethink – and it started with Rosh Hashanah, but then you start to rethink all of the holidays.

San Diego Jewish Journal: Why did you decide to write about Jewish holidays? Rabbi Nathan Laufer: This book has its origins in a job that I had. I was a High Holiday Rabbi in Chicago … I came to a place where I was trying to think about what I could say this year that I hadn’t said before. I … went back to the Bible and said ‘what is Rosh Hashanah about?’ The more I [thought] about it and research[ed] it the more puzzled I became. I started to scratch my head because I had a pretty good education. I went to rabbinical school, and I’d studied Judaism since I was a little kid, and there I was in my mid 30s and I suddenly didn’t really understand what Rosh Hashanah was about. I was of course aware of what the rabbi said: ‘Oh yeah, the first human beings were created or maybe the world was created on Rosh Hashanah, but there was no evidence of that, and the Torah never made mention of that and that puzzled me. If you want to remember creation, the Torah tells us that we keep the Sabbath every week to remember creation. So why did they say that about Rosh Hashanah if that’s the case? Then I scratched my head more because the day of Rosh Hashanah is not the first day of the first year in the Jewish calendar. It’s the first day of the seventh month in the Jewish calendar … Since when is July 1st the New Year? ... It doesn’t fit in with any of the other holidays. All the other holidays are commemorating something that happened to the Jewish people, when they came into existence and they left Egypt and wandered through the desert and it followed some kind of order. Traditionally, Passover’s about the Exodus, the seventh day’s about the splitting of the sea and Shavuot traditionally … is supposed to commemorate the revelation at Sinai … and Yom Kippur has something to do with forgiveness … and the Golden Calf and then you have Sukkot, which is about wandering in the desert. That all makes sense and that’s about the Biblical story, but Rosh Hashanah as we’ve

SDJJ: Where did you get started with your research? RNL: I consulted the usual Halachic works … but again I wasn’t satisfied with the answers. They didn’t seem to align with the Biblical texts. For me, the Biblical texts are the key … I started to go back and look at the stories in the Bible … I noticed something … Rosh Hashanah [is] only mentioned twice … And both times it’s talking about the … sounding of the shofar, the staccato sounding of the shofar and the first time it’s mentioned it talks about … remembering the staccato sound. So when was there a staccato sound? ... There’s only one time prior to this mentioning of the staccato sound the shofar was blown. That was at the revelation at Sinai. So I went back and sure enough all these pieces of that experience started to align with what we do on Rosh Hashanah. And I realized that the rabbis who had made the liturgy kept in all the clues of what Rosh Hashanah was really about in the Torah, which is a recreation of the acceptance of divine sovereignty, the coronation of G-d as … sovereign over the Jewish people and the creation of a covenant between G-d and us and that is based in the Ten Commandments. SDJJ: Why do you think only clues are left? RNL: There were two holidays where the rabbis shifted … the meaning of the holidays that were found in the Torah. One was the holiday of Shavuot, [which was] never … linked to the revelation at Sinai … and then Rosh Hashanah … Why did they switch these? I put forward two theories. One based on the fact that the rabbis are writing after the destruction of the temple, the Exodus of Moses, and the Jews from the land … and … they cannot celebrate Shavuot as it was intended in the Torah because the big celebration of Shavuot in the Torah was bringing the first fruits. Well, they don’t have fresh fruit and the bringing of the first fruits was to the temple and there’s no temple. The holiday was in danger of going extinct … They have to find some Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

other commemorative event to link Shavuot because the giving takes place around the time, maybe even close to the day that Shavuot is celebrated, so they link that …and then they have to find something else … if they don’t want two things to commemorate the same event. The other possibility is that the rabbis were concerned about the emerging state of Christianity … and they represented a serious challenge to the Jewish people, to Judaism and they therefore wanted to disassociate what I think is the real meaning of Shavuot, which is about thanking G-d for the Manna, because the Christians took that and said ‘Oh Manna, that’s Jesus.’ And that became a problem for them. So they shifted the meaning … But they left clues to its original meaning, it’s Biblical meaning … We can do an archaeological dig of Biblical texts and we can recover its original meaning.

which was seen as the nullification … of their acceptance. That’s why Moses breaks the tablets because ... the deal is off. So it’s not until they repent and that’s the whole chapter on Yom Kippur … that … they accept the covenant that G-d offered. … So then Shavuot was really the next piece of the puzzle. … Shavuot, the only ritual that the Torah prescribes … is not reading the Torah or anything, it’s breaking two breads … What do two breads have to do with the Torah? … So I said … ‘let me see if I can track the narrative and track the holidays and see if there’s some kind of correspondence theory.’ When I did that I realized … there’s a really important story and it’s about the giving of bread to the Jewish people and it’s called the story of the Manna. And there’s a whole chapter in Exodus, chapter 16, that’s devoted to that story … And G-d showed up there … and gives them the Manna. I said … ‘I wonder if that SDJJ: Where did you go next? G-d showing up thing had something to do with RNL: When I realized … that Rosh Hashanah these holidays, maybe that’s what makes them had to be about the revelation at Sinai … I said holy’ … So I went back and found that in the first ‘well then what is Shavuot? ... What is Penteyear after the Jewish people left Egypt … there cost?’ … It is actually possible to commemorate were seven revelations of G-d and those seven Rabbi Nathan Laufer the same event twice … or it could be different revelations track perfectly with the seven holiaspects of the same event … G-d giving of the days, and that’s really what the book is really is Ten Commandments at least verbally takes place on Shavuot, but about … It’s all about the rendezvous of G-d and the Jewish people. A the people’s true acceptance of those commandments … doesn’t take Rabbi Nathan Laufer recently launched The Advanced Institute for Judaplace … until the month of Tishri, the month of Rosh Hashanah. ic Studies at the San Diego Jewish Academy. His latest book, “Rendezvous ... So they’re commemorating two aspects of it – G-d’s offer and the with G-d: Revealing the Meaning of the Jewish Holidays and Their MysJewish people’s true acceptance … They said they accepted it when terious Rituals” is out now. G-d gave it to them, 40 days later they worshipped the Golden Calf,

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PHOTO COURTESY RABBI NATHAN LAUFER

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high holidays

Every year, I carefully choose recipes for my High Holiday feast. I always try to come up with some satisfying combination of new, old and healthy. I love when I can experiment with cuisines from different cultures but my most favorite kind of cooking is when I can return to the Yiddishe cuisine of my childhood. A decade ago I created my blog “Cooking with Yiddishe Mama” for immigrants who want to preserve old recipes and learn new ones. I had never expected a success among Jewish communities around the world. In preparation for another Holiday season, I am sharing some of the most popular recipes from the blog. Whatever you cook, I hope your feast will be filled with joy and happiness.

PHOTOS COURTESY ALLA STAROSELETSKAYA

Appetizers Carrot-cheese herring paté 2 medium carrots, boiled, peeled and cut into large chunks 6 oz. Atlantic herring in oil (you can find in most Russian Stores and it’s kosher) 8 tbsp butter, room-temperature 6 oz. (1 package) The Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges, peeled and cut into large chunks Place all ingredients into food processor and process for 1-2 minutes until almost smooth pate. Put into a nice jar and refrigerate for a couple hours. It’s ready to be served on bread, bagels and matzos.

Quick bruschetta with goat cheese and radishes 2 large slices sourdough bread 2 oz. soft goat cheese 6 large radishes, minced to very small cubes 2 tsp minced fresh parsley ¼ tsp lemon juice ½ tsp olive oil Salt and pepper to taste Toast the bread slices in a toaster and spread goat cheese. In a small bowl mix radishes, parsley, lemon juice and olive oil. Mix and check for salt and pepper. Spoon radishes mixture over the goat cheese. Serve with tomato. Serves two. Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

SIDE DISHES Salmon rice pie Filling 2 cups cooked cold white rice 1 medium red onion, diced 10 oz salmon fillets 1 egg Salt and pepper to taste

Dough 1 cup sour-cream 1 cup mayonnaise 3 eggs ½ tsp salt 1 tsp baking soda diluted in 1 tsp vinegar 1 ½ cup all-purpose flour

Pretreat non-stick pan with canola oil. Rinse your salmon fillets and pat dry. Season with salt and pepper. Raise stove-top heat to medium-high and place the salmon in the pan. Cook until golden brown on 1 side, about 4 minutes. Let the fish sit off the heat for 2-5 minutes to finish cooking and redistribute juices, then flake quickly. Place fish flakes in a bowl, add rice, onion, egg, salt and pepper. Mix. Preheat oven to 350F. To make dough, in a medium bowl add sour-cream, mayonnaise, eggs, salt. Mix very well. Add 1 cup flour. Dilute baking soda in a vinegar above flour, add diluted soda and ½ cup flour. Mix well to form pancake-style dough. Pour half of the dough in pie plate, spread filling over one layer, leaving a ½-inch border. Pour second half of the dough over the filling. Bake 30-35 minutes. Cool pie on a wire rack. Serve warm. You can store pie in refrigerator for a couple days and reheat in microwave. Feeds 8-10 people.

Baked chicken blintzes Filling 1 pound chicken breast, cooked in slightly salted water, cut after into medium chunks 1 tbspvegetable oil 1 medium-large

sweet onion, peeled and chopped 1 egg, slightly beaten Salt and pepper to taste

Dough 2 cups all-purpose flour ½ tsp salt 100 ml vegetable oil 200 ml water, room temperature Egg wash 1 egg, slightly beaten Sesame seeds for sprinkling 40 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

To make filling, coat the bottom of the pan with vegetable oil. Heat the pan on medium high heat until the oil is shimmering. Add the chopped onion and stir to coat the onions with the oil. Spread the onions out evenly over the pan and let cook, stirring occasionally for 8-10 minutes. Place onions and chicken into food processor and process for 1-2 minutes until crumbly. Add egg and process more 30 minutes. Check on salt and pepper, add if need it. The filling might be done in advance and kept in refrigerator. To make dough, in a medium bowl, mix flour and salt and make a well in the center of mixture. Bring to boil oil and water in a small saucepan and pour into well. Using a spoon, make a ball. Be careful, because dough will be hot. Leave the dough in a bowl covered on a counter to cool completely. It takes 15-20 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400F. Prepare a large cookie sheet. Divide dough into 20 equal balls. Roll each ball into 4x5-inch rectangle. Put 1-2 tsp of filling by one of the short sides of the rectangle, about an inch from the edge. Fold this short side of the rectangle up over the filling. Fold the long sides of the rectangle inward, as though you’re folding an envelope. Roll the blintz up and over the filling like a burrito, tucking the edges in as you roll. Place seam down on a cookie sheet. Repeat with all balls and filling. Brush with egg wash and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Place a filled cookie sheet on lower shelf in the oven and bake 10 minutes. Then move the sheet up to the top shelf and up bake 25 minutes. Remove blintzes from oven and cool completely on a cooling rack. You can keep them covered in refrigerator and reheat in microwave oven. Makes 20 medium size (3-inch) blintzes.

Marinated eggplant salad

4 cups water 2 tbsp salt 1 eggplant, about 1.5 pounds, sliced lengthwise into 4-5 pieces 1 small red onion, thinly sliced 1 cup chopped cilantro 1 red pepper, thinly sliced 3 garlic chopped cloves Marinade 1/3 cup vinegar ¼ cup olive oil 1 tbsp boiling water 1 tbsp sugar 2 tsp salt

DESSERTS Russian style apple turnovers Dough 1 ½ cup ricotta cheese 1 cup sugar 9 tbsp milk 9 tbsp vegetable oil 3 tsp baking powder 3 or 3 ½ cups all-purpose flour

Bring 4 cups of water and 2 tbsp of salt to a boil. Add eggplant slices and boil for 10 minutes. Remove the eggplant, let it cool and then slice across into bite size pieces. Prepare marinade. Mix together vinegar, olive oil, water, sugar, and salt. Taste it and adjust the level of salt if you need. In a bowl combine the eggplant and marinade. Refrigerate the dish for at least one day. Recipe comes from another Russian-speaking Jewish lady whose blog is called Mango Tomato.

Filling 5-6 large apples, peeled, cored and diced 1 cup sugar 1 tbsp lemon juice 2 tbsp dry bread crumbs 1 cup raisins (optional) Egg wash 1 egg, lightly beaten 2 tbsp milk Place ricotta cheese and sugar in a big bowl. Stir together, add milk and vegetable oil. In a separate bowl mix flour with baking powder. Mix in flour mixture: 1 cup at a time until dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl and does not stick to your hands. Prepare filling. Mix together apples, sugar, lemon juice, bread crumbs and raisins. Preheat the oven to 350F. Place the dough onto floured surface and divide into 30 equal balls. Flatten the balls by hand until they are 3-4 inches across. Place a spoonful of the apple filling in the center and fold in half to enclose. Pinch the edges together to seal in the filling.

Line two baking sheets with aluminum foil, lightly spray with non-stick cooking spray. Place the pirozhki onto the baking sheet, leaving a little bit of room between them for them to grow. Mix together egg and milk and brush each turnover. Bake for 20-30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden brown. Makes 35 medium size turnovers (pirozhki).

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 41

Greek honey nut cake 2 cups walnuts 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp salt 1 tsp cinnamon 3 large eggs ½ cup light brown sugar, lightly packed 1 tbsp dark molasses 1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp freshly grated navel orange rind ½ cup vegetable oil ¼ cup orange juice Hot honey syrup 2/3 cup water ¼ cup sugar One quarter-inch-thick slice lemon ¼ cup honey

Position rack in the lower third of the oven and preheat to 350F. Butter a 9x9x2 inches pan. To make the cake: Place the nuts, flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in the bowl of food processor fitted with a steel blade. Process until the nuts are ground very fine. Set aside. Put eggs in a large bowl of electric mixer. Beat on medium-high speed until light in color and thickened, about 3 minutes. Add the brown sugar, beat about 2 minutes, then beat to the molasses, vanilla, and orange rind. Slowly pour oil. Beat 30 seconds longer. Reduce mixer speed to medium-low. Add ½ of nut/flour mixture. Pour orange juice, and quickly add remaining nut/flour mixture. Pour batter into the prepared pan. Center the pan on the rack and bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. Remove the cake from the oven and set the pan on a cake rack to cool slightly. To make syrup, place the water, sugar and lemon slice in a small saucepan, bring to a slow boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in the honey and cook on a low flame for 2 minutes longer. Remove lemon slice. After cake stands for 15 minutes, cut into squares, leaving cake in the pan, spoon the hot syrup over the cake. Let stand 2 hours or until syrup is absorbed. Recipe comes from “Great Cakes” by Carole Walter. Serves 8-10 people. A All recipes are tested by me and published in my bilingual cooking blog CookingWithYiddishe Mama.blogspot.com. If you have any questions, please, email info@allastar. net. I would be happy and honoured to help all of you. Zay gezund! Gite yomtov!

42 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

Happy New Year! Celebrate with Gelson’s 2016 — 5777 As it says in the Talmud: “There can be no joy without food and drink.” Let Gelson’s bring joy into your life and make life easier for your busy schedule with “Kosher Style” Dinners with a choice of rotisserie chicken or beef brisket along with matzo balls in chicken broth, noodle kugel, herb roasted potatoes, tzimmes, and chopped beef liver with egg. Pick up is available September 30–October 12. A 48-hour notice is required. Kosher Style Dinners serve four and can be ordered online at www.gelsons.com or call our Service Deli. Del Mar 858-481-9324

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

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Combatting Solitude IN CASE OF EMERGENCY Seacrest @ Home adds C.A.R.E program BY NATALIE JACOBS

ust a couple weeks ago, Seacrest @ Home announced a new concierge offering. Called C.A.R.E. for Companion Available, Ready for Emergency, the home-care division of Seacrest Villages has made two home care workers available on call to respond to member requests for companionship in the emergency room or hospital. It works like this: people pay quarterly or annual membership fees (which, at press time, were not yet released to be public) and a C.A.R.E. companion will arrive at one of four hospitals within 60 minutes of the call. Seacrest @ Home will add on-call staffers as needed. Kelli Denton, who runs Seacrest @ Home, explains this is the pilot launch of the new program, which she hopes to expand incrementally. So far, Seacrest @ Home is offering companionship for people who go to four hospitals in the Encinitas area, first introducing the program to Seacrest residents and people who live in the nearby North County coastal community. For this introductory opening, the only hospitals that are available within the program are: – Scripps Memorial Hospital Encinitas, 345 Santa Fe Dr. – Scripps Green La Jolla, 10666 N. Torrey Pines Rd. – Scripps Memorial La Jolla, 9888 Genessee Ave. – Thornton Hospital, 9300 Campus Point Dr. Denton says phase two of the C.A.R.E. program will incorporate Poway and Rancho Bernardo area hospitals. The end of summer also saw county-wide recognition for the home care provider. Out of approximately 225-250 licensed home care agencies in San Diego County, Seacrest @ Home placed in the top five best home care providers in the San Diego Union Tribune’s reader poll for the second consecutive year. As two firsts this year, Seacrest @ Home was also voted number one in the North Coast reader’s poll and second in the North Inland poll by the Poway Chieftan News. People interested in learning more about the C.A.R.E. program can contact Denton at (760) 942-2695. A

44 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

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Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 45

Taking the Edge Off Support group meets monthly to keep men aware of protaste cancer risks and therapies BY PATTY FULLER

rostate Cancer is the number one silent disease in men and early detection is the key,” says Lyle LaRosh, President of the Informed Prostate Cancer Support Group (IPCSG). “Our goal is to teach men and their loved ones how to be their own case manager.” While it may not be top of mind for men, the medical field has been developing new technologies and therapies throughout the past decade to treat the cancer when it presents. “But patients are the last ones to know,” contends LaRosh. IPCSG meets the third Saturday of every month at the Sanford-Burnham-Prebys Auditorium in La Jolla, Calif. There, men and their loved ones are informed about new therapies, including active surveillance, robotic surgery, IMRT radiation therapy, proton radiation therapy, hormonal therapy, chemotherapy, cryoablation therapy and a host of new medications. Patients share their journey and outcomes from therapy, which is unique for each individual. They also learn from international speakers, including cancer researchers, medical doctors, health insurance experts, psychologists and more. “There are some hot topics in the diagnosis and treatment of prostate cancer,” says La Rosh. “If men don’t get the right information, they have no way to judge if the prescribed therapy is right for them.” The biggest hot topic in Prostate Cancer is the PSA testing controversy. Dr. Richard Ablin, inventor of the PSA test, calls the evolution of this diagnostic tool “a profit-driven public health disaster that is no more effective than a coin toss.” The blood test was originally invented to determine if patients who had radical surgery, radiation or chemotherapy had a reoccurrence of the disease. At some point, the medical community started using it as a screening device. If levels were up, doctors recommended invasive procedures such as a biopsy. The problem is, random biopsies can lead to unnecessary treatments, such as removal of the prostate gland. Biopsies can lead to infection, trauma and trace cancer cells have been detected when a needle is removed from the specimen. Dr. Mark Scholz, Medical Director of Prostate Oncology Specialists in Marina del Rey, Calif., says, “It’s a well-established fact that over 100,000 men every year in the United States get unnecessary treatment for their prostate cancer. Unnecessary because they have small, low grade disease that never would hurt them.” “How does this happen?” continued Scholz. “It starts with the prostate biopsy. Instead of targeting an abnormality within the gland, 46 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

PHOTO COURTESY PATTY FULLER

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random biopsies with 12 different cores are used and small amounts of low grade prostate cancer are routinely discovered in about 25 percent of people that have a biopsy. “Any man over age 50, even with a normal PSA, harbors what we call low grade prostate cancer. When people hear the word cancer, of course that precipitates action. They are being managed by a very aggressive group of doctors — urologists who are trained as surgeons and whose typical stance is to do something about it, rather than monitor it, which is also known as ‘active surveillance.’” Dr. Fabio Almeida, M.D., Medical Director of Phoenix Molecular Imaging, says, “There is a new revolution in modern imaging technology. The multi-parametric MRI (mpMRI) offers a new technology that can be a substitute/adjunct for random biopsies.” The mpMRI can identify the site of the tumor within the prostate, allowing for a targeted biopsy, track changes in the location and size of tumors, optimize planning for patients proceeding to surgical treatment, and improve management of low-risk patients under active surveillance. Dr. Arno J. Mundt, chair of the department of Radiation Medicine and Applied Sciences at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) and President of The Radiating Hope Society notes, “The last decade has seen a veritable revolution in the planning and delivery of radiation therapy, significantly reducing the toxicity of treatment and improving patient outcomes. “One of the most exciting is the incorporation of novel imaging approaches, e.g. C-11 PET/CT and novel MR sequencing, which have led to many promising new targeted approaches to treat prostate cancer,” concludes Dr. Mundt. The IPCSG recommends that patients keep an eye on the future of genomic medicine. Current genome tests measure 23 different biomarkers, identify DNA patterns that indicate a predisposition for the disease, and can help doctors personalize therapy for each patient. “There are six different types of prostate cancer and 16 different treatments for prostate cancer, not to mention a host of new drugs on the market,” concludes LaRosh. “It’s no small task for a patient and his doctors to select the right treatment plan for each individual.” A More information, directions and information about the Informed Prostate Cancer Support Group can be found at ipcsg.org. The group meets the 3rd Saturday of every month from 10:00 a.m. to noon at the Sanford Burnham Prebys Medical Discovery Center (Auditorium) on 10905 Road to the Cure, San Diego, CA 92121.

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

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“I

have never felt that sort of physical revulsion before,” Leo Jassy says over the phone one afternoon. “It’s sort of absurd because it’s such a beautiful place and people are so nice. You can really become lost in how pretty and how serene and gentle everything is, and how nice the people are and how good the food is.” Leo is talking about Bergen-Belsen, the surrounding German towns and what they’re like today. His mother, Sally Jassy, was held in Bergen-Belsen for months until the camp was liberated in 1945. This past April, Leo and his daughter, Sarina, visited Bergen-Belsen together after being accepted for an episode of the mobile streaming app Go90’s show “100 Things.” When the British arrived 71 years ago, Sally was 18 years old, among the 60,000 sick and starving prisoners. She had been held captive by the Nazis for five years in various places, from her home in Poland to a ghetto there, then to Auschwitz where she “lost everybody,” through the death march and finally to Bergen-Belsen. “Why I was saved, I don’t know,” she says over the phone from New York, her Polish 48 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

accent still thick even though she has never returned to Europe. “You know what? I tell you honestly, I was guilty in the beginning. I felt guilty. Why me? Why me? Why not my brother?” Sally says her brother was a “genius in Poland,” who could have “given something to the world.” Even though she knew her immediate family had been killed, she held onto hope that maybe she was wrong, maybe they or some other relatives were spared. After liberation, frantic and alone in the displaced persons camp, she eventually found out only one uncle – out of 35 aunts, uncles and cousins – had survived. From Auschwitz, Sally, who was called Sala at the time, was taken with Dr. Mengele to a cold barrack with other girls and later sent off to Germany. “They sent us with 1,000 girls from Auschwitz – Hungarian, Polish, all kinds. … It was a big farm and we worked there. We dig ditches for months … against the Russian tanks.” In the winter of 1945, Sally and the other surviving girls were taken on what came to be known as The March, led by the Nazis

against the advancement of the Russians. “If somebody couldn’t walk,” Sally remembers, “they killed them right away. It was winter. People were falling over the snow. It was terrible.” After some time, the marchers arrived to Bergen-Belsen. “When we came, I tell you this was the worsest [stet] camp I ever was in. People were dying on the street and the sidewalks. Every day, dead people. I was still strong and I was still walking. Can you imagine all after what I went through? And I was ok.” Sally relays the story with an unwavering sense of awe. She says she always told her son Leo the stories, from the time he was 3 years old. “I talked right away because I felt it’s important that we are speaking out. That we’re speaking out about these experiences.” Leo says that gave him a darker view of the world – a “slanted view of humanity” – one that he made a conscious effort to keep from his daughter, Sarina, until he knew she was ready. “I grew up understanding that there was true evil in the world,” Leo says. “My child-

PHOTOS COURTESY “100 THINGS”

hood was impacted by that.” Both Leo and Sally say they were purposefully vague about the details with Sarina until she reached high school. Sarina says she knew her dad always had a historical interest in World War II, and that her grandmother offered the emotional perspective. “I wanted to approach it from a position of strength that yes, there was evil,” says Leo, “but we defeated it. So it’s not insurmountable. No matter how bad it can be, it’s not insurmountable, even though she never really knew how bad it was.” It was during her Bat Mitzvah classes that Sarina started asking her grandmother more pointed questions and when her 9th grade literature class was reading books written in the World War II era, Sarina asked Sally to speak to the class about her experiences. That’s when Sarina learned the full story, with all the gruesome details that had been left out for years. After that, Sarina decided she wanted to see the place where her grandmother was liberated. Sarina is a dancer who has been on television before. Through that work, she’s Facebook friends with a casting agent who

shared information about the “100 Things” show. It was the opportunity Sarina had been looking for. “We had to send in a video and write a little bit about what we wanted to do so they can understand what they’re trying to put on their tv show … It was like a shot in the dark kind of thing,” Sarina explains of the application process. Leo says prior to their Bergen-Belsen episode, the show “100 Things,” “dealt basically with people jumping out of airplanes and swimming with turtles … Things they’ve always wanted to do with their lives, I guess. Mostly fun stories.” The Bergen-Belsen episode is the 12th for the series that features shows about conquering a fear of heights by ice climbing, an intergenerational skydive, and a vacation on a volcano. Leo says their Holocaust episode was a departure for “100 Things” and he wasn’t initially sure how his daughter’s dream of going to Bergen-Belsen would be portrayed in their context. After a few more months of correspondence, Sarina and Leo were accepted onto

the show. After talking with the producers, Leo says he felt they saw the Jassy story as a way to say something deeper. On April 13, 2016, they filmed at Bergen-Belsen for about 11 hours. The episode, which aired in September, lasts 11 minutes. “I noticed, within the 11 minutes,” Leo says, “they made a point of saying a couple of things that perhaps are not as obvious to the viewer but were obvious to me.” Specifically, Leo’s thinking of a part in the episode where he, Sarina, the show’s host Sebastian Terry and Stephanie Billib, the memorial representative who served as their guide, walk down a road, past houses. Leo asks if that’s where the prisoners walked, and if people lived in those houses. Stephanie responds with an emphatic “yes.” “You always hear the story about Germans saying ‘oh, we didn’t know anything,’” Leo explains to me. “It’s a big collective excuse that permeated German society for years. ‘We know nothing.’ … the prisoners had to walk from the rail head past this town, in the tens of thousands. There’s no way [the townspeople] could have not known that something was up.” Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 49

Leo sees the producers’ choice to leave that part in the finished episode as evidence of their conscious effort to “set the record straight” or at least use their platform to say something more meaningful than perhaps they were used to saying with other episodes. One thing Leo thought could have made the episode stronger was something Sarina said when they were standing on one of the mounds, atop a mass grave. In the raw footage, the host says the people under them died nameless. Leo recalls what his daughter said afterward: “‘You know what one of the worst crimes of humanity is? When you are born, you are given a name, everyone is given a name. The crime here is that these people died nameless.’” Leo says everyone was stunned by that comment. “There were interesting things like that that were coming out of her brain. She was 15 when she did the show, [and] her perspective is radically different than mine.” It’s hard to discern Sarina’s emotion in the final version of the show. The 11 minutes mostly focus on Leo, the host Sebastian, and long walks through green landscapes. But speaking with Sarina, it’s clear that she has been trying to find the words to express what she experienced, and how that ties in with her understanding of her own family’s history, since she returned. “When I was there seeing it and taking it all in, yes I was physically there,” she says, “but mentally it was like another thing. It didn’t even seem like it was real because it 50 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

looks like this green, lush park. It could be outside my house and it could have a swing set and playground. But what you really don’t know is in that little tiny mound, there’s 5,000 dead bodies of persecuted Jews and my people and our heritage. And then my grandmother was there, and the possibility that I could be standing exactly where she was…it’s just so deep and powerful that it almost doesn’t seem like it could be real.” When Sally first heard that her son and granddaughter would be going to Bergen-Belsen to see the place where she suffered for so many months, she says initially she couldn’t believe it because she has noticed that lately, there haven’t been so many books or movies about the Holocaust. She worries that with the survivors dying off, it will be easier to forget. “Then, I say yes, it was ok with me,” she recalls, after she got over the shock that her family was going to tell her story on television. “I said it’s good that the children ... they going to display the videos for children, for classes. That’s what I wanted, that’s why I was talking all those years with children. … I want they should know. They should know and they should talk about it, they should raise their voices. “I’m very proud of my son and Sarina, what they did. It was very hard for them, I’m sure. I can imagine what Sarina went through. She went through a lot, I know that. She told me she cried, I said it’s ok to cry, I cried a lot too, but I’m still talking. I cry but I’m still talking.” A

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||| FEATURE |||

habbat San Diego, as part of the epic worldwide “Shabbos Project,” has one aim: to help San Diego’s Jewish population have a positive mindset about Shabbat. Michael Mantell, a retired psychologist who is involved in this year’s Shabbat San Diego effort as the transformational leadership and behavior coach, says the idea is for the three-day festival to shift people’s focus from “can’t do” or “have to” to a framework of “get to.” “We are emphasizing all of the wonderful feelings and thoughts, benefits that are personal, familial and communal, that observing Shabbat can bring,” Mantell tells the San Diego Jewish Journal. “Thus, our tagline this year, ‘Shabbat Can Do That.’ We are promoting the idea that Shabbat is not an all or nothing observance.” The largest Shabbat gathering in San Diego’s history, Shabbat San Diego runs from Nov. 10-12 and tens of thousands of people are expected to participate. The collaborative effort, which will be coordinated with more than 1,000 cities from more than 90 countries, will bring people together to experience the spiritual rejuvenation of a traditional Shabbat, including a challah bake, Shabbat dinners and unity Havdalah celebration. “When we bring together more than 20,000 in our community and successfully transmit the very personal mind, body and spiritual benefits of turning Friday night and Saturday into Shabbat, we will have accomplished an audacious and meaningful goal. Our hope is that this will extend in the weeks beyond Nov. 10-12,” Mantell says. Organizers in San Diego say this year’s theme, “Shabbat Can Do That” encourages people to “unplug” and experience a traditional Shabbat as a family. For instance, challah. This year, more than 3,000 people will meet at the San Diego Jewish Academy and Tifereth Israel Synagogue to learn how to prepare their own challah at home. The ingredients will be provided by Shabbat San Diego, and everyone will leave ready to bake. “[Shabbat Can Do That] stirs the souls of all who are involved in bringing this worldwide event to our city once Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

again this year,” Mantell says. With more than 100,000 Jews in San Diego County, but only 17 percent affiliated with a local synagogue, Shabbat San Diego is doing its best to promote Jewish involvement and unity, according to Mantell. Michelle Lyons, a member of the Steering Committee of Shabbat San Diego 2016, says “our goal is that everyone feels welcome to sign up and comes together as San Diego Jews and as part of world Jewry. “My favorite part of Shabbat San Diego is when I am at one of the events and I look around and I see all of the smiling faces sharing the same experience and knowing that at that moment we are also connected to Jews around the world who are also celebrating what it means to connect with yourself, your family and friends and with your community in a world where there is so much competition for our attention during the week,” Lyons tells the Jewish Journal. The event started in 2014, when Jews from all over the world united for a Shabbat. It eventually grew to more than a million Jews from more than 84 countries last year and is expected to grow again this year. “It was a people’s movement from the beginning,” Lyons says. “The brainchild of South Africa’s Chief Rabbi, Dr. Warren Goldstein.” Three years ago Rabbi Goldstein decided to make an effort to get more South African Jews to observe Shabbat, Lyons says, “a time to reconnect with family, with your inner self and to disconnect from the distractions that keep us from connecting with each other. The effort was contagious and now three years later, over 900 cities and millions of people will be celebrating Shabbat at the same time.” Last year’s Shabbat San Diego was extremely successful. Of the 15,000 participants surveyed, 99 percent said they planned to participate in this year’s event and 90 percent said they had a spiritual, meaningful and educational experience, according to Lyons. “Shabbat San Diego is a global opportunity for Jewish people to observe Shabbat individually, as a member of the San Diego community and as a connected part of worldwide Jewry,” Lyons says. “On Nov. 10-12, we in San Diego will link with Jews from all over the world and will join together in celebrating a complete 54 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

Shabbat as we light candles with joy and care, lighting up the world with peace, rest, awareness, pleasure, spirituality, happiness, enjoying old and new friends and of course savoring good food,” she says. “I can’t think of a better purpose. Our purpose is to ignite and connect people with their inner Jewish soul. After all, this is what Shabbat can do, right?” One-third of the people who participated in 2015 said they were inspired in becoming more involved in their Judaism and nearly 60 percent said they were interested in participating in new Jewish experiences, according to the survey. “We here in San Diego have a magnificent structure of more than 50 committees comprised of the most passionately driven people, designed to deliver our worldfamous challah bakes, gala Havdalah celebration concert, Shabbat dinners and numerous post Shabbat events throughout the coming year,” Lyons says. She says the weekend is designed to bring people together, remind them of the importance and serenity of Shabbat and to educate people about San Diego’s Jewish community. “Come together to experience Shabbat as a mitzvah in our time,” she says. “Shabbat can have so many positive effects on you and your wellbeing, especially your spiritual growth. It’s a welcome day of peace and rest, a very special time with family and friends, an opportunity to unplug and to reconnect with nature and those that you love. It’s a time ‘to raise our spirits so high.’” The weekend, according to Mantell, is about making an atmosphere specific to Shabbat where participants can focus on the meaning of the celebration. “We are attempting to create and convey a very special mood, one that is not experienced during any other day of the week. We are imparting the physical, emotional and spiritual value of quieting the mind, of unplugging from the chaos, confusion and conflict of everyday life, to experience the calm of Shabbat. This gives us a chance to ponder deeper life questions, learn and grow. There is long-held and well-researched evidence that plugging into this type of calm, this type of Shabbat mindfulness, brings far-reaching health benefits,” he says. Lyons says she hopes every participant feels a strong connection that they keep

PHOTOS COURTESY SHABBAT SAN DIEGO

with them throughout the year, and that the event inspires more San Diegans to come back next year. “Think about the benefits of disconnecting from technology, connecting with your inner self, connecting with family and friends, and connecting with G-d,” Lyons says, “Shabbat can do that!” A Shabbat San Diego is underwritten by the Mizel Family Foundation. Details and events for this year’s festivities can be found at shabbatsandiego.org.

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||| THEATER |||

t seems that war is always with us. Kids stage assaults with guns. Teens play battle-drenched video games. Young adults go through military training and the bloody, real-life war experience. And then, the aftermath: depression, PTSD, and the painful process of integrating back into civilian life. If you survive. This is the trajectory, from age 6 to 66, of “Soldier Songs,” the first operatic work created by well-regarded contemporary composer David T. Little. “When I saw the workshop premiere in 2008 in New York,” says Israeli director Tomer Zvulum, “I was profoundly touched. I was shaken. I lived what the guy in the show lived. I remembered so many corresponding moments in my own life.” Tomer, who was born in Ashkelon, in the south of Israel, served in the Israeli Army from age 18-21 (1994-1997), as a first lieutenant, chief medic for an infantry battalion. It was a field medic who inspired Little to create the opera though the composer had never had any personal military experience. In 2003, Little was asked to return to his New Jersey high school to give a talk about his career, while other alumni spoke about their life and work. One of the other alums was the field medic who served in Iraq. Little started to think about the role of war in his own life, which was far removed from armed conflict. But he recalled relatives who had served in various wars, and this sparked the idea of interviewing combat veterans – friends, family and others. He spoke with Army, Air Force and Marine veterans of five wars, spanning the time from World War II to the present. None of the vets had ever spoken about their experiences before. These interviews became the core of “Soldier Songs.” The opera, which was commissioned by the Pittsburgh New Mu56 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

sic Ensemble, premiered in 2006, and went on to productions in New Haven and New York. In November 2015, it was mounted at the Atlanta Opera, where Tomer Zvulum is the general and artistic director. Part of his new Discovery Series (smaller-scale productions, lesser-known works), it was a huge success. The opera has been described as “staggering,” “played with brutality and wistfulness,” showing the “terror of actual battle and the anguished loss that comes in its wake.” Now, “Soldier Songs” makes its West Coast premiere at San Diego Opera, as the debut of the newly-created Detour Series which, the Opera says, “explores works that fall outside the Company’s ongoing tradition of presenting grand operas at the Civic Theatre.” Opening on Veterans Day, the short opera, comprising 11 gut-wrenching songs performed by a single baritone (David Adam Moore) enacting the stages in the life of one composite soldier, will be presented at the Balboa Theatre, in English, with English text projected above the stage (Nov. 11-13). The work begins with the quote, “I never talk about this with anybody.” According to Tomer, “that’s a universal truth for veterans. The piece is about permission, to empower soldiers to talk about their experiences, something society doesn’t always allow – or they don’t allow themselves. It doesn’t matter if the war was Vietnam or Iraq or the Gaza Strip. These universal experiences deserve to be told, and heard. It’s also permission for their families and the rest of society to get an inkling, a fragment of an idea of what theses soldiers experienced. ‘Soldier Songs’ is for and about the people affected by war.” It was Tomer’s idea to open the work on Veterans Day, and to follow the performance with an Act II of sorts, a panel discussion with artists involved in the production, as well as veterans, moderated

PHOTOS COURTESY SAN DIEGO OPERA

The work begins with the quote, “I never talk about this with anybody.”

in San Diego by psychiatrist Dr. Kathleen Emery, who has worked with PTSD patients locally. Noted baritone David Adam Moore made his SDO debut in 2009, as Mercutio in “Romeo and Juliet.” He was last seen here in 2014, as Silvio in “Pagliacci.” Steven Schick, acclaimed music director and conductor of the La Jolla Symphony Orchestra and faculty member at UC San Diego, makes his company debut at the podium. The production is designed by GLMMR (Giving Light Motion + Memory + Relevance), a multi-media art collective that combines traditional stagecraft with cutting-edge projection mapping technology. Meeting of the minds – in Israel Director Tomer Zvulum nearly became a doctor; after the IDF, he was accepted to medical school. “I was always torn between science and art,” he says, but he ultimately decided to study music and theater at the Open University in Tel Aviv, He cut his operatic teeth at the Israeli Opera in Tel Aviv (founded in 1985), beginning as an usher, and working his way up to stagehand, stage manager and ultimately, assistant director. He came to the U.S. in 2001 as a visiting scholar at Boston University, where he spent three years. He then served as assistant director at opera companies around the country, culminating in seven years as staff director at the Metropolitan Opera in New York. He had directed several times at Atlanta Opera, and came on-board fulltime in 2012, as both artistic director and administrator. He implemented the Discovery Series, which is similar to SDO’s Detour Series. A new father (his daughter, Maya, is only a few months old), he just completed an Executive MBA at Harvard Business School. Fifteen years ago, he met designer Vita Tzukun at the Israeli Op-

era, when they were both stage managers. They’ve created more than a dozen productions together, all over the world. David Moore, who is Vita’s husband, and co-founder of GLMMR, is also an old friend of Tomer. When Tomer first directed “Soldier Songs” in Atlanta, he wanted Vita and David to design the show, so he obtained the services of another baritone for that production. But now that the design is established, David can sing the opera here. “The three of us created this show,” says Tomer, who’s also a fan of David Bennett, the General Director of SDO, the former Executive Director of Gotham Chamber Opera in New York who arrived here in summer 2015. “I think he’s extremely forward-thinking and progressive,” Tomer says of Bennett. “He realizes that a community needs to be a partner, telling stories that relate, not just entertain. Companies that don’t change don’t survive.” Tomer admires composer David Little, too: “His base is classical, but in this work, there are influences of rock, pop, jazz, even heavy metal. The libretto offers a very honest and realistic view of what it is to be a soldier. In childhood, combat is fun; there’s no blood or pain. During training, it’s still very exciting. But then, when you start getting into battle and losing friends, you get a whole different angle on the experience. Most profound is the aftermath, and getting back in the world.” The look of this production is crucial to its success. Metaphor and visual design Designer Vita Tzukun was born in Odessa, Ukraine. When she was 12, her family moved to Israel, among the one million Jews who emigrated from the Soviet Union. She obtained her undergraduate degree at Tel Aviv University, in theatrical set and costume design. Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 57

BY CALINE CHITAYAT

Baritone David Adam Moore is Everyman Soldier in San Diego’s staging of “Soldier Songs”

She spent two years at the Israeli Opera (2000-2002), where she met Tomer, and where her husband, David Adam Moore, sang the title role in the opera, “Billy Budd.” David, she brags, is “the only opera singer in the U.S. who designs professionally, too.” When she moved to New York, she completed a Master’s Degree at the prestigious Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. She was the first student there, she says, to pursue a double major focused on designing both sets and costumes for both theater and film. She has designed for many theater and opera companies, and for special events like concerts by Lady Gaga and Courtney Love. Recently, she had an extended solo exhibition of her designs at the National Opera America Center in New York. In 2016, she was nominated for General Design Achievement honors at the International Opera Awards. She and her husband, both peripatetic Brooklyn-based artists, had always wanted to work together – partly so they could be in the same place at the same time. So about two years ago, they founded GLMMR, inviting dancers, actors and other artists into their “collective” as needed for each project. “We always wanted to bring a holistic experience to audiences,” Vita says. “Individually, we blurred the lines between artforms – musical theater, straight theater, opera, dance – and we figured, together, we can quadruple that! I design the costumes and/or sets; David is the techno-wiz.” “‘Soldier Songs’,” she feels, is “extremely visceral, and so necessary right now. What’s great about it is that it doesn’t judge. It has no political agenda. It’s not anti-war or anti-soldier.” Both Vita and Tomer find the second half of the evening, the panel discussion and the revelations that emerge from onstage veterans, to be one of the most exciting parts of the production. The first segment, the performance, runs about an hour; the discussion typically lasts about 30 minutes. “What GLMMER has created,” says Vita, “is an ever-shifting, multi-media visual world, with our innovative video projection mapping. We’re not just projecting on a rectangular screen. We project the video on different areas of the set, sometimes a narrow space, sometimes the singer walks into the images. It’s unexpected; around every corner, there’s a surprise. So you hardly ever see the entire set. 58 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

It’s constantly shifting, like life. “We use abstract forms, cubes, all painted with projection-reflective material. So, there are no film screens. It’s like a maze of cubic forms, synched to the voices of the veterans. The score is part electronic, part live orchestra (at SDO, there will be 10 musicians). At the very end, all the words pile up and the word TALK grows larger and larger.” So, the piece proceeds from not talking about war experiences, to the vital importance of explicitly talking. As collaborators, Vita and Tomer say they work so well and so often together because they share the same underlying artistic principles. “As an artist,” Tomer explains, “my credo is that our role is to convey the human experience.” As Vita puts it, every piece she does “has to be humane, has to have a message. Life is complex. The world needs more compassion. I want to explore and enhance the visual experience for the audience.” With “Soldier Songs,” says Tomer, “we’ve created something that’s a product of our time. This production provides a lot of multi-media stimulation. We took the technology and created a world. The projections, in a combination of original and archival content, convey the world of soldiers and also their psychological world. “You can do this as a cool new piece, or try to touch hearts and souls with it. You can serve a bigger purpose than just a work of art, or just an entertainment. This production is dense and intense. It’s a little like watching an IMAX movie. The sound and visual images surround you; it’s a bit of an assault on the senses, a little like war itself. We’re trying to create a profound evening in theater that leads to open hearts and minds and mouths, to tell the stories that must be told.” A The San Diego Opera presents the West Coast premiere of “Soldier Songs” Nov. 11-13 at the Balboa Theatre, 868 4th Ave, downtown San Diego. Tickets (starting at $20) are available at (619) 232-7636 or sdopera.org. Note: “Soldier Songs” contains strong language, simulated gunshots, explosions and other combat-like sounds and visual effects.

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

||| TRAVEL |||

ews love Sicily. Everywhere you go, you meet tourists with last names on the the Schwartz-Cohen-Steinberg-Benvenisti spectrum, and it’s not unusual to see Jewish stars, Jewish-themed tattoos, and Jews kvelling over pasta dishes they discover in little-known restaurants. In Siracusa, some Jewish travelers from the U.S. and Israel descend 56 steps into a mikvah, ritual bath, that is a reminder of the presence of Jews in Sicily from the time of the destruction of the Second Temple, until 1492, when the Inquisition forced them to leave for Greece, Rome and Turkey, seeking safety. The 6th century C.E. mikvah was covered in mud and forgotten until about 25 years ago. It took two years to dig out the sand and debris and reveal what is thought to be the oldest and biggest mikvah in Europe. But none of the visiting Jews seem to go to the eight dazzling, Renaissance, Jewish-themed tapestries at the small Tapestry Museum, in Marsala, which is located behind the Cathedral in the historic center. The day my husband and I went, we were the only witnesses to the world-class, incalculably precious, and, incredibly, largely unknown Jewish tapestries on display. The custodian confirmed that very few people visit, and that until fairly recently, the masterpieces – which were reportedly a gift to the Marsala Cathedral in 1589, from Monsigneur Antonio Lombardo, archbishop of Messina – were in storage. They were going to be sold to raise money in 1893, but there was such an outcry that the idea was abandoned, and over time the tapestries were largely forgotten. In 1934, they were exhibited, even though the colors had faded and they had sustained damage. In 1965, funds were raised for their restoration and two of them were 60 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

put on display. And then, they were warehoused in oblivion until, finally, they found their present home. The probable origin of the masterpieces was Flemish, from Brussels. Legend has it that Tudor Queen Mary I, daughter of Henry VIII, was given refuge by the Monsigneur in Messina during a storm, and she gave them to him as a gift. They are so large that most rooms of the museum feature only one or two of them. When seen as a whole, the artworks tell the story of Josephus Flavius (or Flavius Josephus), the first century C.E. Jewish historian, scholar, and master storyteller who was born into a high status family in Roman Judea. He led the revolt in Galilee against the Romans, and, when captured, preferred suicide with his men rather than succumb to the Romans. Vespasian, however, kept him as a slave and interpreter and eventually freed him upon becoming Emperor, which Josephus had foretold. After the destruction of the Temple under the leadership of Vespasian’s son Titus, Josephus went to live in Rome, where he was given a modest income, and he wrote “The Jewish War” and “Antiquities of the Jews.” Much of what we know today about the first century comes from Josephus’s remarkable histories. He was, and remains a controversial figure; some Jewish historians and authorities debunk portions of what he wrote and consider him a traitor for going over to the Roman side and cozying up to the Emperors Vespasian and Titus. Others take a more even-handed view, recognize that he flattered the Roman emperors because his wellbeing depended upon it, and appreciate him for defending the Jews and writing their history with clarity and brilliance.

The first tapestry concerns the military triumph of the Romans that forced Giuseppe (Josephus) and 40 of his fighters to hide in a well inside a cave. After Giuseppe is found, he refuses to exit the well, preferring to die there with his mates. When he is given reassurance that his life will be spared, he comes out of the well, dressed as a warrior, and is escorted away between a tribune and a soldier. In the background, we see Vespasianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tent; surrounded by warriors, he awaits the arrival of Giuseppe. History tells us that Vespasian spared Giuseppe, but his feet were chained. We also know that Giuseppe predicted that Vespasian and Titus would become emperors.

The second tapestry depicts the story of King Agrippa (whose lineage goes back to Herod the Great), pleading the cause of Tiberias to Vespasian. Vespasian had sent peaceful emissaries to Tiberias, but they were attacked. Now furious, Vespasian holds the fate of the Tiberians in his hands. Under Agripppa are the weeping Tiberians; the old men sport beards and the young men have their eyes wide open in fear. Women look morose and children cling to their mothers. On the right, we see fighting, and on the left, people run away with bundles of possessions on their shoulders.

The Marsala tapestry museum is almost hidden, located around a corner at the main piazza, behind the Mother Church (pictured above), through a small and almost unmarked door, up narrow, old, stone steps. Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 61

The fourth tapestry shows the reaction of Roman subjects everywhere to the news that Vespasian is Emperor: there is rejoicing from Judea to Syria to Egypt. Even regions that broke away from Rome now come back to the fold because of Vespasianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leadership qualities. Emissaries from Syria and other provinces come as ambassadors, bringing jewels, armor, amphorae, and other treasures. At the top of the scene, on the right, Roman soldiers attack and conquer a round fortress. A ladder has been placed next to the fortress, and soldiers are climbing up. But the defenders of the fortress will not surrender. In the highest tower, they fight furiously against the Romans.

3 In the third tapestry, it is the year 69 C.E. Vespasian does not want to be Emperor, preferring instead the safety of a private life. The army tries to persuade him to accept the crown, with entreaties and threats. Some of the soldiers seem ready to kill him if he refuses. In the tapestries, Vespasian and Josephus are always presented in a positive light.

5 The drama of tapestry five centers around Vespasian, who recalls that Guiseppe foretold his becoming Emperor, and decides to free his enchained slave. Vespasian sits on a high chair, surrounded by warriors. Guiseppe is a majestic, masculine figure; he is visibly moved, and his eyes are moist. The chain that bound his feet for many months is broken, and he is free. A young soldier presents Giuseppe a casket of coins on Vespasianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s orders. The bias of the tapestry makers is clear: Vespasian is merciful and Josephus is heroic. 62 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

Tapestry number six presents young Titus, son of Vespasian, who is now leader of the Roman forces. He is portrayed as handsome and noble in demeanor. A Judean named Jonathan, who is short, ugly and cowardly, comes to the Temple and challenges the Romans to a duel. One accepts, and is killed. The second Roman fights to avenge his dead friend. Jonathan climbs onto the body of the Roman he killed, strikes at the second Roman, and also bites his shoulder. The scene makes one wince at the depiction of the grotesque Judean. Surrounding this central image are scenes of soldiers pierced by swords, restive horses, masses of fighters emerging from deep ditches as the war wages on. There is even a sea battle.

7 In the last tapestry, Titus, trying to gain the favor of the Jewsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; God, offers a sacrifice. He and his father, according to the explanations on the wall, always tried to avoid laying the temple and Jerusalem to waste. They tried to get the rebellious Jews to mend their ways. In the center of the tapestry, an altar burns, and, to the right of it, Titus kneels in his imperial clothes. His head is lifted up, he looks to the sky, and seems to be speaking to God or praying. On the other side of the altar is the Judean priest, dressed in holy vestments. A

The seventh tapestry shows Jerusalem in ruins. All that the swords could not subdue, fire ravages. Titus is afraid of the Hebrew God, and offers safe conduct to a Judean priest so he can bring what is necessary for a sacrifice. The latter returns with two golden candelabra and a large book. Near Titus, who is kneeling, are a Levite with a bundle of priestly garments on his shoulders, and a guardian of the Temple treasures with two vases and sweet-smelling spices. Elsewhere in the tapestry, the battle rages at the walls of the Temple. Judeans throw stones and arrows, trying to defend themselves. Romans are opening a breach in the walls.

Santa Fe-based Judith Fein is an award winning author, travel journalist, and speaker. Her website is GlobalAdventure.us. Elul 5776 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 63

HOW IDF TURNS A DISABILITY INTO A UNIQUE ABILITY “At the age of four, my son’s speech therapist made me have one of the worst days of my life when she said: ‘Your son won’t go to the army.’ Now I cry every time I remember it. I say: We did it! We succeeded to get him here! It’s a feeling I can’t describe. A dream came true.” R., is only one out of several joyful parents to autistic soldiers in unit 9900 in the IDF. Special intelligence Unit 9900 is dedicated to everything related to geography, including mapping, interpretation of aerial and satellite photographs and space research. Within this unit there is a small unit of highly qualified soldiers, who have remarkable visual and analytic capabilities. They can detect even the smallest details, undetectable to most people. The uniqueness of this elite group of intelligence soldiers in Unit 9900 lies in the fact that they are all diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Their job is to take visual materials from satellite images and sensors that are in the air. With the help of their officers and decoding tools, they analyze the images and find specific things they need in order to allow those who are planning a mission to get the best data of the area. We interviewed Col. J, the commander of Unit 9900, in order to learn

more about this inspiring group of soldiers. “After many doubts and expectations the project came to light after almost a year of processing. There were many problems along the way. The actual process took about a year and I want to say that we started with the assumption that this could, should and would succeed,” says Colonel J, confessing that the success of this project exceeded the optimistic expectations of its initiators. “The concerns were understandable, because I knew nothing about autism. The result was a task of trial and error. Everything we did was happening for the first time in the history of the IDF. We planned, worked and focused until we achieved success.”

Please attend our 6th Annual Gala Appreciation Evening on Saturday, November 5th, 2016 held at the Manchester Grand Hyatt Hotel in downtown San Diego. Tickets are available at FIDFSD.ORG

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64 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

||| BOOKS |||

“Fiction is great because you’ve always got plausible deniability, like no, that never happened, I made that up!”

ennifer Weiner writes books that sell. A 2014 article on salon.com notes that she’s sold “some 4.5 million copies.” That may be surprising to people who run in literary circles, given that Weiner is a woman who writes about what some consider trivial female issues like falling in love and shopping. Though she isn’t a fan of the label “chick lit” or worse, “chunk lit,” Weiner is happy to have made a career writing popular fiction in a conversational tone about women she feels have little representation elsewhere in media. I recently spoke with Weiner about this, to see if anything has changed in her years of publishing. We also talked about how women are treated on social media, her new book “Hungry Heart: Adventures in Life, Love and Writing,” as well as her Jewish background and the nagging need to stand up for what she believes is right. A podcast of this article is available at sdjewishjournal.com.

Jennifer Weiner: Every time there’s a study

that comes out, whether it’s about opinion pieces or front page stories, and it says there’s more men writing opinion columns, there’s more men featured on front pages, there’s more men writing stories in these big magazines, it’s like a perennial thing – like everybody’s shocked and no one can believe it. And then it’s like we need to fix this and then nothing changes and a year goes by and the next study comes out. I was actually just doing a Facebook live thing and somebody asked me about

the Olympics and was I watching it and was I enjoying it and I’m like you know, some of it’s so great but some of it is still so disappointing. Like the woman who got proposed to on the medal stand and the commentator is like ‘Well that tops that medal,’ and I’m like gosh, really? Like it’s the best day of her life now. And I’m like well she just won an Olympic medal! Or Katinka Hosszu, the swimmer who won and the NBC commentator is like let’s talk to the man who’s responsible for it. I’m like he wasn’t in the water! You know, I do think there’s progress but I do think there’s work to be done. Weiner’s protagonists tend to be mostly likeable women who have one fatal flaw – they’re fat, suffer from a learning disability, have a facial deformity, or something similar. For the most part, Weiner wraps up her novels with tidy happy endings that she admits don’t usually happen in real life. That, to Weiner, is the point of fiction. As for the literary establishment, they’ve thus far been uninterested. SDJJ: Does the sign-off of the literary/ critical establishment matter to you? JW: I think that for my own work, the New York Times matters a lot to me because I think that that’s what my readers tend to read. They’ll review a lot of popular fiction by men and ignore popular fiction by women. So their sign-off means a lot to me. Do I think the New Yorker is going to start reviewing my books or do I think the Atlantic is going to start publishing my short stories? No.

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 65

And that’s a different site. What they do is literary fiction – I would hope that they would recognize that there are many women writing literary fiction and that there’s no reason, in this day and age, for the New Yorker to publish two short stories by men for every short story by a woman. Weiner got her start as a writer in the daily newspaper business. She graduated from Princeton in 1991 and started with the Centre Daily Times, in State College, Pennsylvania, shortly after. It was there that Weiner began her first column “Generation XIII,” a name she made up for Generation X. Eventually she landed at The Philadelphia Inquirer and into national magazines like Seventeen. Her first book, “Good in Bed,” came out 15 years ago and while it loosely follows the events of Weiner’s young adult life, it is a novel, so the character gets a happy ending. With this year’s release of her nonfiction “Hungry Heart: Adventures in Life, Love and Writing” and the children’s book “The Littlest Bigfoot,” Weiner has published 20 books and countless essays in The New York Times, Time Magazine, Allure, Good Housekeeping, and more. With all of those different styles, I wondered if Weiner had a favorite. SDJJ: As far as form, which do you prefer: novel, short story, or column, or I guess now children’s book would be in that? JW: It’s interesting, they all have their pros and cons. Children’s books were interesting because you had to think very hard about short chapters that ended in a way that would make a kid want to keep reading. I think that was an interesting challenge in terms of structure and form for me. I love writing columns, I love writing essays and to me I think that always is going to feel like home a little bit because that’s what I was doing in college and then all through my 20s, and I guess on my blog. I think that form comes very easily to me. But fiction is great because you’ve always got plausible deniability, like no, that never happened, I made that up! It lets you do things that you don’t do in real life or couldn’t do in real life, or shouldn’t do in real life. It gives you different options. SDJJ: How do you know when a piece of writing is one thing over another? 66 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

JW: I’ve definitely written things in novels where

it’s like, this is not fiction, this is something that I need to do in a column or a Tweet or a Facebook post or something like that, where it’s me being opinionated about something, that’s just not serving the story well. And then there’s sort of like pieces of ideas where you don’t know exactly what’s going to happen with them. Somebody asked me for, there’s a television show that’s set in the world of publishing and somebody’s like do you have any great publishing stories that would be fun to do? I was thinking, there’s this memoir now called “When Breath Becomes Air” and it’s tremendously popular, tremendously moving about this surgeon who’s diagnosed with cancer and writing a book about that and about how he kept working as a surgeon even while he was treating his own illness. So I had the idea like what if there was a writer who noticed how well that book was doing and basically decided to fake his own death so that he could write that memoir and have it be really successful. And then I’m just like, I have to use that in a novel somehow. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but somehow somewhere that is going to end up in fiction. As her books topped the New York Times bestseller lists, Weiner became known as much for her “chick lit” as for her vocal criticism of the white male dominance of the publishing industry. The internet has also grown alongside Weiner’s popularity and social media like Twitter have helped her become something of a feminist watchdog over the publishing world. SDJJ: Do you ever get tired of fighting the feminist battle in the book world? Does it feel like you’re arguing with people all the time? JW: Well, [laughs] yeah, sometimes. I wish it wasn’t necessary. I wish that there had been more progress. I wish that I didn’t have to try to convince people that it’s not fair that men’s books are reviewed more frequently and in different ways than women’s are. But, you know, someone’s gotta speak up and if that’s gonna be me then it’s gonna be me.

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SDJJ: I just watched your Facebook Live video letter to Stephen Colbert... JW: It’s kind of disappointing that, on the one hand, he wrote this great piece in Glamour about ‘I am a feminist and I want to see more women’s voices and I understand that late night is still all white guys, but I wanna be part of the change.’ And, you know, to read that and to believe it, because there’s no reason not to, and then when someone starts counting it’s like you’ve had nine men and no women. It was just this empty gesture. I hope that he puts his money where his mouth is. I hope his actions reflect what he says to people is the right thing to do. Weiner will be in San Diego for an early launch of the Jewish Book Fair on Oct. 20 to talk about “Hungry Heart.” She gave me an early preview: SDJJ: For “Hungry Heart,” what were you looking to explore with the book? JW: I think probably the same thing that I’ve been looking to explore in all of my books, which is what does it mean to be a woman in our day and age? I think that’s something that I’ve been doing in fiction and it was something I wanted to do with my real life story. SDJJ: So is it a collection of writing from a specific time? Or is it writing that you compiled specifically for this collection? JW: Well, initially it was going to be, they had asked me for 50 percent pieces I’d published already, and 50 percent new stuff. It ended up, I think being closer to 75 percent new writing and just 25 pieces I published in magazines or in the Times. I talk about my parents, and how they met and how they got married. And then I talk about growing up in Connecticut and going to college, getting my first newspaper job, and writing my first book, so it sort of takes the reader through my whole life in this series of essays. The collection reads like a memoir that takes readers from Weiner’s childhood to her present day. This, of course, necessitates a chapter on the dark side of the internet.

SDJJ: How do you feel about social media? JW: I really like it, but I definitely recognize the draw-backs that it can have and the way that people can say things they regret in the heat of the moment, and the way that there’s pile-ons – where somebody does something stupid and it looks like everyone in the world has to Tweet about how dumb they were. I think that social media is a tool and I think that like any other tool you can use it to create and you can use it to destroy. So I try to be careful. SDJJ: Do you get the standard Twitter trolls – rape threats and death threats – have you experienced any of that? JW: Yeah, I have. I’ve had all of the anti-Semitism and all of the ‘I want to rape and kill you’ and ‘Someone should shoot your children’ and just, all that stuff. And it’s scary. I haven’t had anything bad enough that I’ve had to go to the police, but I know people who have. You just sort of block it, report it. It’s funny, I don’t know if you’ve ever had to block and report anybody on Twitter but there’s a form you fill out where it’s like ‘This person is being disrespectful to’ me, to someone else, you know you have to check boxes and I’m like there should just be a box for terrifying anti-Semitism because that’s what I’ve been getting lately. Some of these Donald Trump supporters are...I can handle thoughtful disagreements, but if you’re sending me a picture of Jews being marched into ovens, that’s not ok, that’s not legitimate debate anymore. SDJJ: That happened to you? JW: Mmmhmm. SDJJ: In response to something that you wrote or just out of the blue? JW: No, it was in response to something that I wrote and I don’t even remember what it was. I’m sure that it was fairly innocuous. But, I think pretty much every Jewish woman I know on Twitter who has been vocal in any way about this campaign has gotten that. So yeah, that sucks. That’s really been disheartening because, you know, I feel like the worst anti-Semitism that I experienced was in second grade where this kid told me that I killed Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 67

“There should just be a box for terrifying anti-Semitism because that’s what I’ve been getting lately.” Jesus. I was like ‘No I didn’t,’ and he’s like, ‘Well probably your parents did.’ And that was kind of it. But even now, there are people who really seem to deeply believe that there are Zionists running our government and controlling our banks and everything. And they don’t hesitate to tell ya. In the book I talk about growing up Jewish but what’s happening with the Trump people is they just know that Weiner is a Jewish last name. Dana Schwartz who wrote the piece for The Observer about when the Trump campaign re-tweeted the Star of David with the pile of money and she was talking about that the Trump people can pretend they don’t know what this means and they can say they didn’t know where this came from but this is a clear dog whistle to anti-Semitic people and white supremacists. I mean, she just got the most unbelievably vile, scary stuff Tweeted at her. Which, I mean, it’s sad but I think any woman who is vocal on the Internet about feminist stuff, about political stuff, is going to get this, is going to get rape threats and death threats and now if you’re Jewish, you’re going to get this anti-Semitic garbage. SDJJ: Yeah, I guess that goes back to my question about fighting the feminist battle – do any of these things that come up bring you to pause in doing all of those things that target you? JW: I think that there’s definitely when somebody says to you ‘Somebody should shoot your kids,’ there’s definitely a part of you that’s like ‘Ok, I’m done with social media, I’m done with talking about anything except how beautiful my living room is and this apple tart that I baked last night.’ But, I was raised in a politically active, politically aware household where it was like if you see injustice, you are called to speak out about it. If you see something, if you see injustice and you don’t say anything, you’re just as bad as whoever is perpetrating the injustice. I grew up believing that and I think it had a lot to do with Judaism and tikkun olam and the idea that the world is broken and it’s incumbent upon all of us to heal it. Also growing up, being an outsider, again it’s like a whole chapter in the book about being one of the only Jewish kids in my town and growing up attending public elementary schools where there were Christmas decorations and kids sang Christmas carols. There was just no, I guess Donald Trump would say political correctness. There was no acknowledgement that there were people who believed different things and celebrated different holidays. I think it made me aware of being an outsider and I think it made me want to speak up on behalf of people 68 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2016

who were on the margins, whether that’s women or minorities, or people whose voices don’t always get heard in the room. I think I always want to be a voice for the people. SDJJ: I read, it might have been the New Yorker profile, you said one good way to be a comic writer is to have a sort of tough childhood. Did your childhood challenge any of those foundational philosophies? JW: I think that it reinforced them. I think the idea that you live through something hard and what that does is make you more sensitive and more aware of how other people are suffering. I think that this is one of the big themes of the book – something bad happens and you pick yourself up and you try to get over it and you think ok, what was the point of that, what was the point of that happening? Maybe the point is that it’s given me some empathy toward other people, or maybe the point is it’s given me a story to tell and I can tell this story and people will feel less alone. So, you know, I don’t think anybody gets promised the 100 percent easy ride. I think a little suffering is actually good for you. It’s that whole the wisdom of a skinned knee thing – if you don’t learn resilience and you don’t learn how to get through something bad as a child you’re going to have a really hard time as an adult. Through 20 published books and more years of writing, Weiner doesn’t feel any closer to the answer to her original question – what does it mean to be a woman today? Perhaps that’s because it’s a moving target. Lucky for Weiner, writing is a malleable art form.

JW: I don’t know if it’s a question that has an answer. I think it’s more

exploring this is where we are, this is what we’ve accomplished, this is what still needs to happen. With me, to sort of talk about this is what I’ve been through and this is what’s made me who I am and to be able to look back on all of those experiences and to put them in a context and to sort of see like maybe they were necessary, maybe we’re all on this journey and the point of the journey is not that it’s going to be this smooth ride with no bumps but that there are going to be bumps and you are going to have to learn to pick yourself up again. A Jennifer Weiner will speak at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center at 7 p.m. on Oct. 20. Listen to a podcast of this story at sdjewishjournal.com

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The Attitude of Gratitute

We pray that 5777 will be filled with goodness and blessings for all.

BY NATALIE JACOBS

May you be inscribed in the Book of Life, and may you experience a year of good health, happiness, renewal and peace in the coming year.

he High Holidays will be over by the time Janice Kaplan gives her Jewish Book Fair “Talk @ 2” about “The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on the Bright Side Can Transform Your Life.” But there is an article up on sdjewishjournal. com that bridges the two in an interesting way. In her essay, Nina Badzin challenges Jews to use Rosh Hashanah to focus on the positives, not just all the things that went wrong this year. Badzin thinks it is equally important to recognize the good that any one of us does as to chide ourselves for our mistakes. She offers some examples, from admitting to her spouse that she was wrong, to remembering not Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal to “reply all” to an email chain and not passing on information that was not hers to share. This recognition, Badzin argues, can Jerry Hermes, President encourage us to engage in more positive behaviors next year. Kaplan outlines a similar approach to gratitude with a focus on feeling it for others in her best-selling, breezy self-help book. She YOUR ATTENTION IS REQUESTED WITHIN 24 HOURS. also gets into the psychology behind why this attitude shift may Thank for your business. be lifeyou changing. On one secular New Year’s Eve, Kaplan made the commitment to live a year of gratitude. She bought a “pretty new journal” in which she would write at the end of each day three things she was grateful for. She broke down it, focusing roughly each month on a different aspect of her life to apply gratitude toward. 6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard She started with her husband of many years, then moved on to her San Diego, CA 92119 • 619-697-6001 adult children, the weather, money, work, weight and so on. At www.tiferethisrael.com each turn, she simply looked on the bright side, sometimes by force but eventually, more naturally. Pretty much from the beginning, ALWAYS COOKED she found herself feeling happier, her relationships stronger. FRESH ON-SITE! Kaplan is careful to note that her gratitude didn’t make her become WE CATER ANY EVENT! • Rotisserie Free Range Chicken a push-over (when the dry-cleaner ruined her favorite dress she still • BAR/BAT MITZVAH PARTIES • Kosher Slow-Cooked Brisket fought for fair compensation) but for an entire year, she didn’t let • WEDDINGS • Whole Rotisserie Lamb • GRADUATION PARTIES • Grilled Salmon & Mahi Mahi herself dwell on the negatives. She shares many examples of how • CORPORATE EVENTS • Choice cut Roast Beef • 30-5,000 PEOPLE her new positive attitude was hard for some of her friends to get • Rotisserie Marinated Turkey • KOSHER PLATTERS used to (until they tried it themselves to great results), and in some • Shabbat Luncheons • BARUCHA LUNCHEONS instances it’s easy to see why someone would be annoyed with her. Kaplan approaches the book like an extended essay in a women’s magazine (she is a former editor-in-chief of Parade Magazine) with personal stories from her year of gratitude plus conversational explanations of up-and-coming ideas from the field of psychology. Readers who apply Nina Badzin’s idea of a thankful Rosh Hashanah and want to carry the theme into the year 5777 will find Janice Kaplan’s book an encouraging guide to living a life of gratitude. Kaplan will speak in San Diego on Nov. 1 at the JCC. 858-578-8891 Tickets are $11, or $9 for members. Those who purchase tickets 7313 Carroll Road • 92121 in advance will get a Front of the Line Pass for the author signing. Minimum 50 people. Food only 03/31/2016 Exp. 10/31/2016 www.rotisserieaffair.com Details at sdcjc.org/sdjbf. A

L’shana Tova!

THROWING A SIMCHA?

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 69

San Die go

Jew i

NNU

22ND A

INSIGHT • IMAGINATION • INSPIRATION

VENUE:

JCC, LA JOLLA and NORTH COUNTY SAN DIEGO LOCATIONS

OCTOBER 29 SCHEDULE

k o o B ir Fa

BOOK FAIR VENUES

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037

Temple Solel

3575 Manchester Avenue • Cardiff-by-the-Sea, CA 92007

Seacrest Village

211 Saxony Road • Encinitas, CA 92024

Carlsbad Village Theater

2822 State Street • Carlsbad, CA 92008

Leichtag Commons

441 Saxony Road • Encinitas, CA 92024

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20 — P R E V IE W E V E N T — 7:00 p.m. Jennifer Weiner Hungry Heart: Adventures in Life, Love, and Writing SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29 — O P E NIN G NIG H T — 7:00 p.m. Rich Cohen The Sun & The Moon & The Rolling Stones and THE ULTIMATE STONES Concert & Party SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30 9:00 a.m. –Noon FAMILY MORNING 11:00 a.m. Elissa Altman Treyf: My Life as an Unorthodox Outlaw 2:00 p.m. Melissa Fay Greene The Underdogs: Children, Dogs, and the Power of Unconditional Love 4:00 p.m. Jack Viertel The Secret Life of the American Musical: How Broadway Shows Are Built 7:00 p.m. Samuel M. Katz The Ghost Warriors Inside Israel's Undercover War Against Suicide Terrorism

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31 1O:00 a.m. Arlene Heyman Scary Old Sex 12:00 p.m. Peter Himmelman Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life 2:00 p.m. Victoria Kelly Mrs. Houdini: A Novel TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1

READjuvenate MindBodyBalance Day

1O:00 a.m. 12:00 p.m. 2:00 p.m. 5:00 p.m.

Benjamin Shalva Spiritual Cross-Training: Searching Through Silence, Stretch, and Song Kate Siegel Mother, Can You Not? Janice Kaplan The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on the Bright Side Can Transform Your Life Mache Seibel, M.D. The Estrogen Window: The Breakthrough Guide to Being Healthy, Energized, and Hormonally Balanced—Through Perimenopause, Menopause, and Beyond

Meet

Greet

-and3:30 p.m. LOCAL AUTHORS LOUNGE 7:00 p.m. Todd G. Buchholz The Price of Prosperity: Why Rich Nations Fail and How to Renew Them

NOVEMBER 6, 2016 AT A GLANCE TICKETS ON SALE NOW! Box Office: 858.362.1348 • www.sdjbf.org

VENUE:

Temple Solel • 3575 Manchester Avenue • Cardiff-by-the-Sea, CA 92007

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2 1O:00 a.m. Archie Rand The 613 12:00 p.m. Nina Tassler What I Told My Daughter: Lessons from Leaders on Raising the Next Generation of Empowered Women 2:00 p.m. Ayelet Tsabari The Best Place on Earth: Stories 5:00 p.m. FILM / 7:00 p.m. FILMMAKER/AUTHOR TALK Josh Aronson Orchestra of Exiles: The Story of Bronislaw Huberman, the Israel Philharmonic, and the One Thousand Jews He Saved from Nazi Horrors

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3 1O:00 a.m. Robert K. Wittman The Devil's Diary: Alfred Rosenberg and the Stolen Secrets of the Third Reich 12:00 p.m. Michael Krasny Let There Be Laughter: A Treasury of Great Jewish Humor and What It All Means 2:00 p.m. Jennifer S. Brown Modern Girls 5:00 p.m. Book Fair Giving Circle Dinner: From Cultural Consumer to Cultural Investor (see page 13 for details) 7:00 p.m. Dov Waxman T rouble in the Tribe: The American Jewish Conflict over Israel FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4 1O:00 a.m. Susan David, PhD Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life 12:00 p.m. Daniel Oppenheimer Exit Right: The People Who Left the Left and Reshaped the American Century

VENUE:

Seacrest Village • 211 Saxony Road • Encinitas, CA 92024

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4 2:00 p.m. Chanan Tigay The Lost Book of Moses: The Hunt for the World's Oldest Bible

VENUE:

Carlsbad Village Theater • 2822 State Street • Carlsbad, CA 92008

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5 7:00 p.m. Shep Gordon They Call Me Supermensch: A Backstage Pass to the Amazing Worlds of Film, Food, and Rock ‘n’ Roll

VENUE:

Leichtag Commons • 441 Saxony Road • Encinitas, CA 92024

Foodies

Farm

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6 on the 1O:00 a.m. Stanley Ginsberg The Rye Baker: Classic Breads from Europe and America 11:00 a.m. Molly Yeh Molly on the Range: Recipes and Stories from an Unlikely Life on a Farm 12:00 p.m. Jeffrey Yoskowitz & Liz Alpern The Gefilte Manifesto: New Recipes for Old World Jewish Foods 1:00 p.m. COASTAL ROOTS FARM TOUR 2:00 p.m. Jeff Gottesfeld The Tree in the Courtyard: Looking Through Anne Frank's Window 2:30 p.m. Book Fair Giving Circle and Nosh: From Cultural Consumer to Cultural Investor (see page 13 for details)

VENUE:

Lawrence Family JCC • JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS • 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6 4:00 p.m. Helen Kiyong Kim & Noah Samuel Leavitt JewAsian: Race, Religion, and Identity for America's Newest Jew 7:00 p.m. Fred Kaplan in conversation with NPR’s Brooke Gladstone Dark Territory: The Secret History of Cyber War

||| FOOD |||

Tori Avey is an award-winning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com. She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade.com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

in the kitchen WITH

TORI AVEY IKWTA

PHOTOS BY TORI AVEY

72 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

PHOTOS BY VITO DI STEFANO

omedian and pianist Victor Borge, affectionately known as “The Great Dane” or “The Clown Prince of Denmark,” may have played a role in bringing Cornish game hens into greater popularity during the 1950s. A Spokesman Review article published on April 18, 1959 claims that his farm in Southbury, Connecticut was one of the largest American producers of Cornish hens. Borge made appearances at supermarkets on behalf of his hens, which gave them something of a celebrity status. The article also includes his favorite recipe, which must be shared. It’s not exactly a kosher recipe, but it’s cute nonetheless! “Put the hen in a Dutch oven and do him in brown butter for 12 minutes. If you have a piano in the kitchen play the ‘Minuet Waltz’ 12 times. Add a little water. Put the lid on and let simmer. When you have finished playing half ‘The Dance of the Hours,’ dragging it slightly, you’re ready to eat like an epicure.” I grew up eating Cornish game hens; my grandma made them for my mom as a child, and she passed the tradition on to me. The hens we grew up eating were pretty simple, sprinkled with garlic salt and parsley, then roasted in a hot oven. My mom served them with steamed artichokes and salty chicken-flavored rice; it was my absolute favorite meal growing up. I still make them that way, in fact, and my stepdaughter loves them too.

Cute as they are, cooking Cornish game hens can be a bit tricky; though they’re small, they don’t cook very fast. It’s always best to use a meat thermometer to make sure your hens have reached a food safe temperature. You don’t want to undercook them – it’s so disappointing to sit down to a meal, cut into the chicken and realize that it needs to cook for another half hour. Use a thermometer and make sure the juice runs clear to ensure your hens are fully cooked. Recently, while trying to come up with a new entrée for Rosh Hashanah, I decided to branch out a bit and infused my game hens with more flavor. I marinated them in orange juice, brown sugar, and a mix of spices that reflect the signature “sweetness” found in most Rosh Hashanah dishes. After marinating, I stuffed the hens with orange slices and roasted them in a hot oven until they were almost done. I reduced the marinade on the stovetop to a thick sauce, which to my surprise took on a Middle Eastern citrusy barbecue-like flavor – really different. I brushed the thickened sauce onto the top of the hens, then finished roasting them until the skin was dark brown and bubbly. Delicious! These are not the game hens I ate growing up. I’ll always have a soft spot for garlic salt and chicken-flavored rice, but this is my new favorite Cornish game hen recipe, especially during the fall. I have a feeling you’ll love it too!

MARINATED CORNISH GAME HENS WITH CITRUS AND SPICE INGREDIENTS 4 Cornish game hens 3 cups cool water 1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice 1 medium orange ¼ cup brown sugar 2 tbsp ground coriander (freshly ground coriander spice is best) 1 tsp salt 1 tsp allspice 1 tsp ginger 1 tsp cumin ½ tsp cinnamon ¼ tsp turmeric You will also need: Medium mixing bowl, whisk, 2 gallon sized re-sealable storage bags, large roasting pan, mesh strainer, medium saucepan, basting brush Yield: 4 Cornish game hens Total Time: 1 hour 45 minutes Kosher Key: Meat

INSTRUCTIONS: In a medium mixing bowl combine water, orange juice, sugar, salt and spices. Whisk to combine thoroughly. Rinse hens and trim off any excess fat or skin (do not remove all of the skin, only extra hanging pieces). Place them in gallon sized re-sealable storage bags (2 to a bag) and divide the brine evenly between the two. The spices may settle in the liquid, so give it a swirl as you're pouring it in. Squeeze all the air out of the bags and place in a baking dish to prevent any liquid from leaking. Marinate in the refrigerator overnight. When you are ready to cook the hens, preheat your oven to 400 degrees F. Place the hens in a roasting pan and reserve the marinade. Tuck an orange quarter inside of each hen, then truss with twine (simply wrap the drumstick ends together and secure with twine). Brush each hen with ½ tbsp of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. I use about ¼ tsp of each per hen. Roast the hens for 90 minutes, turning the roasting pan halfway through cooking to ensure even heat distribution. Meanwhile, strain the remaining marinade into a medium saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook, letting the liquid slowly reduce until the mixture is the consistency of a barbecue sauce. Once 90 minutes have passed, remove the hens from the oven and brush them with a generous amount of the sauce. Return to the oven for an additional 15 minutes, or until the hens reach an internal temperature of 170 degrees F. Serve hot. A Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 73

? GOIN '?ON ?? WHAT'S BY EILEEN SONDAK

San Diego Symphony

PHOTO COURTESY SDO

Fresh off of its most successful summer season ever, the San Diego Symphony will host its Opus Gala on Oct. 8. Michael Feinstein and Cheyenne Jackson will join the orchestra for this special concert. The celebration begins early with a cocktail reception in the lobby, followed by dinner in the University Club, high atop Symphony Hall. After dinner, supporters will move on to the Hall for the performance. An after-party at the University Club is next for Gala guests to end the festive evening on a high note. The official opening weekend to launch the Symphony season is Oct. 14-16, with violinist Gil Shaham back in San Diego to perform PHOTO BY JIM COX “Violin Concerto.” The weekend of concerts, conMandelssohn’s ducted by Jahja Ling, will also feature works by Schuman and Brahms.

The Old Globe The Old Globe’s West Coast premiere of “October Sky” is happily ensconced on the Main Stage, where it will remain through Oct. 23. The heartwarming musical, which offers a slice of life in small town America, features a score by Michael Mahler and stars Kyle Selig. The large cast includes Joel Blum and Austyn Myers. The Globe’s White Theatre is featuring “The Lion,” written and performed by Benjamin Scheuer. The show (described as an “unforgettable rock ‘n roll journey”) will take over the theater-in-the-round setting through Oct. 30. This one-man show is a coming-of-age story told through rock music.

La Jolla Playhouse

The La Jolla Playhouse is ready to unveil another world premiere at its Weiss Theatre. “Miss You Like Hell,” an effervescent new musical, takes audiences along on a road trip with a free-spirited Latina mother and daughter. Chance encounters with a bevy of interesting characters pepper the journey and bring the pair closer to a mutual understanding. The show has an eclectic mix of songs to propel the plot. “Miss You...” will be on stage from Oct. 25-Dec. 4. The Playhouse’s production of “Tiger Style!” a comedy that revolves around a pair of squabbling siblings, closes Oct. 2.

San Diego Opera

The San Diego Opera will present a lecture, titled “Operatic Fairy Tales: Cinderella” at the Central Library on Oct. 15. This free event is part of the opera’s “Community Conversations Series.” The fullblown performance of “Cinderella” will take place at the Civic Theatre Oct. 22-30. Rossini’s version of the classic fairy tale doesn’t rely on a fairy godmother or glass slipper to make a young girl’s dream of being a princess come true – but it does give audiences plenty of musical highs from a master composer. For a sneak peek at what’s to come from the Opera in November, turn to pg. 56 of this magazine.

City Ballet

City Ballet returns this month to celebrate 24 years of ballet in San Diego with a gala at the Hotel Del Coronado on Oct. 22. Lesley Ann Warren is the celebrity honorary chair of this big bash.

Broadway-San Diego

Broadway-San Diego’s “The Lion King” – a major musical spectacle – is set to complete its run at the Civic Theatre on Oct. 2. 74 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

PHOTOS BY DAREN SCOTT

Cygnet Theatre

Cygnet has unwrapped a pair of San Diego premieres – performed in alternating repertory – for an extended run at its Old Town Theatre. “Seven Guitars,” slated to remain on stage through Nov. 6, was penned by August Wilson. It takes place in 1948 in the backyard of a Pittsburgh tenement. The play (a mix of bawdy comedy, dark elegy, and mystery) is Wilson’s fifth work in a 10-play cycle charting the African-American experience in the 20th century. “King Hedley II” – another important play by the acclaimed writer – will alternate with “Seven Guitars” on the Old Town stage through Nov. 6. This dramatic piece (the ninth in Wilson’s cycle) takes place in 1985, in a world of gangs and broken families. Jennifer L. Nelson is directing both powerful Wilson works.

San Diego Musical Theatre

San Diego Musical Theatre’s production of Mel Brooks’ hit musical, “The Producers,” continues at the Spreckels Theater through Oct. 9.

San Diego Museum of Art

The SDMA is featuring “Urban Banality,” an exhibition of American works that offers a window into the urban world, through Oct. 23. “German Expressionism” – featuring paintings, drawings, and prints San Diego Repertory Theatre San Diego Repertory Theatre launched its season with “Manifest Des- by leading 20th century avant-garde artists (including Max Pechstein), th tinitis,” an early California adaptation of Moliere’s “The Imaginary In- and “Art of the 20 century” – highlighting works from the museum valid,” The farcical delight (set between the end of the Mexican-Amer- collection – will stay on through Dec. 31. ican War and the start of the Gold Rush) is a world premiere, directed by the Rep’s own Sam Woodhouse. This version of the comic master- Museum of Contemporary Art The Museum of Contemporary Art features “Papel ‘Chicano Dos piece will remain at the Rep’s downtown home through Oct. 9. Works on Paper from the Collection of Cheech Marin” at the downtown facility through Nov. 27, along with “For DeLIMITations: A Survey of the 1821 U.S.-Mexico Border,” Ruben Ochoa: Watching, Waiting, Commiserating,” and “Moris: Beautiful Landscape 7.” PHOTO COURTESY NORTH COAST REP

Fleet Science Center

North Coast Repertory Theatre

North Coast Repertory Theatre’s staging of “The Cocktail Hour,” A.R. Gurney’s comedy about life among the upper-crust New England WASPs, will close on Oct. 2. Fortunately, the play will be followed on Oct. 19 by Neil Simon’s “Laughter on the 23rd Floor.” This delightful comedy, from one of America’s most gifted playwrights, is a love letter to Simon’s early days as a writer for the Sid Caesar tv megahit, “Your Show of Shows,” and it abounds with the funny man’s side-splitting humor. The play will stay put through Nov. 13.

The Fleet, fresh off a new brand announcement, is showcasing “The Art of the Brick.” This exhibition features artistic creations made of LEGO pieces, and will stay put until Jan. 30, 2017. The Reuben H. Fleet Science Center will be showing four films. “A Beautiful Planet” is a portrait of the Earth, made in cooperation with NASA. “National Parks Adventure,” narrated by Robert Redford, takes us into the most beautiful spots in the country. “Jerusalem,” explores one of the world’s oldest and most beloved cities – and it should be a must see. Benedict Cumberbatch narrates. “Born to Be Wild” is a glimpse in the animal kingdom, narrated by Morgan Freeman.

The Natural History Museum

The Natural History Museum is featuring “Extraordinary Ideas from Ordinary People: A History of Citizen Science,” a new exhibit in the former library space on the museum’s third floor. Among the items included in this exhibition are rare books featuring hand-painted lithographs, sculpture paintings, as well as historical documents from the museum’s holdings. This exhibition is a journey through the incredible foundational work that some of history’s least-known people contribLamb’s Players Theatre The Lamb’s will cap off its season on Oct. 14 with a production of uted to the fields of natural science. It is a permament exhibition but “Equivocation.” The show – described as funny, moving, and highly the display cases will change periodically, namely when the pages of theatrical – will remain at the Lamb’s Coronado home through Nov. the books are carefully turned. 20. Robert Smyth is part of the crackerjack ensemble cast.

Welk Theatre

Welk Theatre is showcasing “Sweet Charity,” a dance musical based on a screenplay by Fellini. The lively dance numbers are based on Fosse’s originals, and the lyrics are by Neil Simon and Dorothy Fields. No wonder it was such a success on Broadway. You can see “Charity” through Nov. 20. A buffet dinner precedes every performance.

Timken Museum of Art

The Timken Museum of Art will celebrate the San Diego Zoo’s Centennial Anniversary with an animal-themed exhibition. “Blessed Beasts and Curious Creatures” will be on view through Dec. 11.

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 75

DIVERSIONS

By Natalie Jacobs

Natalie Portman If you missed “A Tale of Love and Darkness,” Natalie Portman’s directorial debut, when it was playing in San Diego late this summer, fear not – there are plenty of chances to catch her on the big screen in the near future. “Jackie” showed at the Venice and Toronto Film Festivals to rave reviews from the Hollywood movie trade magazine Variety. Portman, writes film critic Guy Lodge, plays this most iconic First Lady with “complex, meticulously shaded work.” At the Venice Film Festival, Portman told another Variety correspondent that accepting the role was “somewhat dangerous” because Jackie Kennedy is so well-known, and everyone has their own idea of her. Portman was in Italy for the premiere of another upcoming feature in which she stars, “Planetarium.” That film follows Portman and Lily-Rose Depp, as sisters who are believed to have the ability to connect with ghosts. “Planetarium” will have its theatrical release in November. Portman is in the process of embodying another “intimidating” woman with whom many are familiar. “On the Basis of Sex,” in which Natalie Portman stars as Ruth Bader Ginsburg, is currently in development. Also upcoming for Portman is “Weightless,” a Terrance Malik film that promises to be beautiful, with an incredible ensemble cast, slated for a 2017 release. The Israel-born actress, 35, also recently announced that she is pregnant with her second child.

"Who Will Write Our History?" The producer/director team who created “Above and Beyond,” which has made the rounds at Jewish film festivals and Jewish organization special screenings since it debuted in 2014, is back to work on another a-typical documentary. With much of the shooting complete, Nancy Spielberg and Roberta Grossman have begun editing “Who Will Write Our History,” a documentary about the secret archive hidden by inhabitants of the Warsaw Ghetto. The film features Spielberg and Grossman’s signature archival footage and in-depth interviews with historians. But what makes this an unconventional non-fiction work is the reenactments their crew staged in Poland. On their largest of an 18-day shoot on location, Spielberg and Grossman had more than 150 extras on set dressed in period costumes, along with 150 crew members working on the scene. After raising $1.3 million for the filming, the team is looking to raise $300,000 for post-production work. To help in their fundraising efforts, Spielberg and Grossman have produced a six-minute sample reel released exclusively to supporters of the project. Find out more about the film at whowillwriteourhistory.com.

76 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

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news BBYO Launches $90 Million Growth Campaign

The “This Moment in Time” campaign will also enable BBYO, the world’s largest pluralistic Jewish youth group, to expand its workforce, increase summer program offerings and grow its endowment. As part of the initiative, the organization set a goal to reach 27,000 members annually by the end of the 2022 school year and a reach of 110,000 North American Jewish teens in its programs, according to a statement. The group says it now has 19,000 members with a reach of more than 80,000 teens. The initial grants, totaling $28.8 million, came from longtime funders The Jim Joseph Foundation and The Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation, two organizations promoting education and Jewish identity building. BBYO’s CEO, Matthew Grossman, said the organization was “grateful for these significant investments, which will help position us for even greater global reach and impact on Jewish teens.” The new initiative is based on a six-month study of how the group can build infrastructure in order to increase growth. BBYO must raise additional funds to reach the $90 million goal.

SDJA Hosts Preschool Open House Prospective parents are invited to an open house at the SDJA preschool on Nov. 15 from 9:30 until 11 a.m. Teachers, administrators and current parents and students will be available to answer questions. Registration is required. Interested parents can R.S.V.P. to admissions@sdja.com or call (858) 704-3717.

78 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

Julia Bernicker spoke at the Motiv launch about her experience as one of many summer interns who evaluated teen volunteer programs around San Diego county.

New Brand Seeks to Unite San Diego Teens Around Common Cause of Repairing the World On Sept. 1, Darren Schwartz and his dedicated team of staff and volunteers launched a new teen service brand called Motiv to a barn full of leaders from various Jewish institutions around San Diego. Fueled by a $3 million matching grant from The Jim Joseph Foundation, this crew has been working for three years on what they now believe will be a true innovation in the field of Jewish teen service learning. Motiv, which will launch to the Jewish teen public with a Teen Service Summit on Dec. 4, seeks to be a clearinghouse for “meaningful volunteer service.” The foundation of the brand is a forthcoming website with sophisticated data input and visualization capabilities to “gamify” volunteerism. Teens will log into the Motiv website to track their service hours by time, organization and cause. The system will then calculate the teen’s impact, in terms of people helped and dollar value of service. Teens will earn badges, and prizes will be available at various levels of service hours completed. The site will also feature select volunteer events from various San Diego groups. Schwartz said Motiv is working to turn short-term bursts of volunteerism that teens typically engage in only to fulfill a requirement for, say, college applications, into long term interests. While the Jim Joseph grant is intended to cover teens from directly after Bar/Bat Mitzvah through the end of high school, Motiv is starting just with high school students. In addition to the website, Motiv will offer grants to local groups to enhance thei own teen programming. At the event, Karen Parry, who directs education for Temple Adat Shalom, said Motiv is “saying to teens, ‘you matter’” at a time when they are “window-shopping for their identity.” The beta version of the website is up now at motivsandiego.org. From now until the Dec. 4 teen summit, Schwartz and his team are seeking ambassadors who can connect Motiv to schools, clubs, youth groups, service organizations and teens. They are also accepting donations to fulfill the matching grant from Jim Joseph Foundation.

PHOTO BY ATRUAX PHOTOGRAPHY

BBYO launched a five-year, $90 million campaign – aided by two unprecedented gifts – in an effort to double the Jewish youth organization’s annual growth rate.

Peter Max Retrospective Opens in La Jolla

Things to Do “Revisiting Shabbat” group exhibition Gotthelf Art Gallery

Iconic 60s pop artist Peter Max returns to San Diego for a new exhibition of his work, billed as a retrospective with pieces spaning from 1960 to 2016. Opening this month at Monarch/Arredon Contemporary Art in La Jolla, Max will make two special appearances this month: Oct. 22 from 4-7 p.m. and Oct. 23 from 1-4 p.m. at the gallery. These appearances are free and open to the public, but R.S.V.P. is required. To do so, contact (858) 454-1231 or info@monarchfineart.com.

A photograph of a guest room at the Tamarack Lodge Greenfield Park New York, as it appears in Marisa Scheinfeld's new photography book "Leftover Borscht."

Featuring more than 25 local artistic interpretations of Shabbat themes. Open now through Nov. 23. Free, hours vary. Visit lfjcc.org. La Mesa Oktoberfest You’ll find these all over the county this month, because beer and pretzels never go out of style. La Mesa’s takes place Sept. 30-Oct. 2. “Elections 2016: What’s at Stake?” Adult Jewish Education part of the Distinguished Scholar Series, professor Sanford Lakoff takes a stab at this one on Oct. 26 at 7 p.m. Cost is $18.50 for JCC members/$22.50 for nonmembers. Contact the box office at (858) 362-1348. Women’s Weekend Camp Mountain Chai

PHOTO BY MARISA SCHEINFELD

Celebrating 10 years, the Camp Mountain Chai Women’s Weekend returns to the woods Oct. 28-30. Rabbi Lenore Bohm also returns to lead the unforgettable weekend of wonder and whimsy. Celebration Gala FIDF

SDSU Student Thesis Becomes Coffee Table Book

Save the date for the Friends of the Israel Defense Force's 6th annual gala, Nov. 5 at the Manchester Grand Hyatt. Details at fidfsd.org.

Back in 2011, the San Diego Jewish Journal told you about photographer Marisa Scheinfeld’s photography exhibit “Leftover Borscht.” A graduate student at SDSU’s School of Art, Design and Art History, the exhibit showcased her thesis work. Since completing a master’s degree, Scheinfeld has continued expanding her photographic exploration of Upstate New York’s crumbling Borscht Belt. On Oct. 4, Cornell University Press will release “The Borscht Belt: Revisiting the Remains of America’s Jewish Vacationland,” the culmination of Scheinfeld’s work. “In many ways,” Scheinfeld said, “the work is an elegy to this once prominent and highly traversed place and is a celebration, albeit bittersweet, of its former glory.” She has documented more than 40 former hotel and bungalow colony sites near where she grew up (and where her parents still live today). The 200-page book was edited by Scheinfeld and Arthur Ollman, former director of the Museum of Photographic Arts in San Diego and includes essays from prominent Jewish thinkers as well as 129 of Scheinfeld’s photographs. Scheinfeld will be in San Diego this month to speak about the book, first on Oct. 20 at the Athenaeum Music and Arts Library in La Jolla, then on Oct. 22 at the Medium Festival of Photography hosted at the Lafayette Hotel in North Park. Details about these events can be found at borschtbeltbook.com/events. Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 79

SUKKOT fun 5777 WORD FIND

Sukkot is celebrated on the 15th day of the month of Tishrei for 7 days inside the Land of Israel and 8 days outside the land. During the time of the Holy Temple it was one of the Three Pilgrimage Festivals. Sukkot literally means Feast of Booths as Jews are commanded to live in a Sukkah, a temporary walled structure, covered with schach (branches), which is similar to what the Jews lived in while traveling in the desert. Just as HaShem provided the Jews protection in the desert with the Clouds of Glory, He is always our ultimate protector. On Sukkot, we are also commanded to shake the four species - an etrog (citron), a lulav (palm frond), three hadassim (myrtle twigs) and two aravot (willow twigs). On each day of the festival (excepting Shabbat), we take the four species, recite a blessing over them, and wave them in all six directions. The seventh day of Sukkot is called Hoshana Rabbah ("Great Salvation") which closes the period of Divine judgment begun on Rosh Hashanah. A special observance is the aravah--the taking of a bundle of willow branches. The Torah is read every day during Sukkot.

spot the difference Which one is different? Hint: Sukkah

3 WALLS

4 WALLS

9 DAYS

TEMPORARY

EAT

SLEEP

CROSSWORD Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the reference from Parsha Emor, read on first day Sukkot, for help. 1

ACROSS

6 7 8

1. ‫( חדש‬23:6) 4. ‫( כבש‬23:12) 6. ‫( אחד‬22:28) 7. ‫( ששה‬23:3) 8. ‫( ארץ‬22:33)

DOWN

2. ‫( קרבן‬22:27) 3. ‫( קדש‬22:32) 5. ‫( לחם‬23:14)

Can you discover the Secret Message? Find and circle the bold, italicized words from the Sukkot summary in the Word Find. Write the unused Word Find letters in the spaces below to spell the Secret Message. Have Fun!

S H A K E M T G R E H S U K K O T T

D V

T W A T

S R H

A A D G E R L L

A A O H

T M K D R A E

E C W A V

Y O D A A Y O

S U K

H G

E H H E

V R S

S U S U E R

E R Y

R O S H N S D U O L

E W T O R

A T

E K O T

E O

L O H

SECRET MESSAGE

___ _____ __ ____ _____ ___ __ ______

gematria

Hint: The Sukkah reminds us of the Clouds

‫ו‬ -‫ב‬

‫ס‬ ÷‫י‬

‫ל‬ - ‫כח‬

‫ה‬ x‫ד‬

‫ק‬

÷‫כ‬ ‫ה‬

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬ 400 300 200 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10

WORD CMRLESAB ERPSAI ______ SUTD ____

ISGNRI ______ HMEROT ______

(scramble)

EYNDE _____ HNICDRLE ________

Hint: Hallel - Psalm 113

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80 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

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WATCH • LEARN • SHOP Holidays Are Coming!

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(858) 481-1055 | NorthCoastRep.org Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 81

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

ADVICE asksadie@aol.com

Grief During the High Holidays In an ideal world, the High Holidays are an awesome amalgam of joy, reflection and awe. For some, especially seniors, it’s also a time of great sadness. This month, we look at one woman, but this column is dedicated to all who have to face the holidays with empty chairs around them. Dear Marnie: I can hardly write this through tears. My darling husband of over 40 years passed away three months ago after a long illness. Now I’m a widow at 62. Joseph (my late husband) and I were always the “doers” in the family, especially during the Jewish holidays. Together we made a large break-fast and had the whole family and friends over. Joe loved entertaining and took center stage with his anecdotes and stories. I still want to make the break-fast, and my daughter along with two cousins have volunteered to help. But I honestly don’t know how to face the High Holidays without him, next to me at shul, and at the break-fast. Are there any words you can give me to help? - So Sad in San Diego MARNIE SAYS: First, I’m so sorry for your loss. And yes, despite the majesty of the High Holidays, for those who have suffered loss, they’re frequently times of melancholy. When you’re grieving, pain is magnified. Especially The Firsts. The first holiday(s), the first Birthday, the first Anniversary, after the death. There’s no rehearsal. No practice. No method. And no right way to do it. All of these events evoke and re-evoke grief. As with all agonizing times, it helps to brace and prepare. The following doesn’t diminish the hurt … but may help you manage. Don’ts: - Don’t expect “normal.” Take these days at your own pace, in your own way. However you decide to do the holidays – tell yourself, it’s OK. 82 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

- Don’t tear yourself up with guilt if you can’t pull out your old razzle-dazzle – or – if you can. Say no or yes to invites based on how you feel, but do lean on your family. If, during the break-fast, for example, you need to retire, make a quick getaway should your mood overwhelm you, tell them to take over. - Don’t try to duplicate what was. Things are not the same. You needn’t make a huge break-fast this year. Limit it to a number you can handle. - Don’t crowd out the hurt with too many people, too many glasses of Manischewitz or over-doing. You need some clear solo time to think, cry and bolster. You need time to take care of you. - Don’t listen to “shoulda, outtas.” The last thing you need is truly rotten advice from family or friends who’ve taken it upon themselves to declare your mourning “over” and insist you “get on with life.” - Don’t forget that you’re not alone in your pain. Family members, especially children, need to share and be heard as well. Do’s: - Do expect the holidays to be painful. It may come in waves as the wonderful memories and the loss seem to waft around you. When the pain hits...allow yourself to ride with it. - Do organize the day – in advance – with your family. Choose comfort and kinship over obligation. Let friends and others in on your plans. - Do consider keeping some traditions, changing some, adding a few. Changes may be small ones. What you serve, the guest list,

when you attend services and where you’ll be seated. - MOST IMPORTANT DO, prepare to remember your husband in specific ways during the High Holidays. You might make a special toast, have loved ones tell anecdotes about him, have each say a few words in his memory, light a special candle – whatever is most comfortable for you and your family. But DO schedule it for a specific time. Carving out a special time and way to acknowledge your loss will allow you to express the grief, the connection – and then you can get on with the day. - Do consider getting involved in a hands-on charitable effort. A Jewish organization, soup kitchens, Meals on Wheels, and especially mentoring moves us outside of ourselves. - Do get help if you need it! Grief is a lonely process. There are support groups, but they’re not for everyone. Counseling is another possibility to give you that special attention you need. - Do believe in time. You will laugh again, enjoy again, live fully again – but differently. Most of all, I have not a doubt in the world that your dear husband would tell you to give yourself permission to grow like the wind. Do you hear it? That gentle rustle? Think of it as the sound of your husband nudging you to live life full-out, knowing you can gather strength from the eternal bond between you. Chag Sameach to you and all my dear readers Love, Marnie

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Harry Weinrib-Blossom Valley, CA 03/28/1939-06/01/2016 Survivors: Wife - Eileen Weinrib, Daughter- Rebecca weinrib & Katherina Kheder Sons- Peter & Benjamin Weinrib & 1 Grandchild Mickey Stern-La Jolla, CA 08/21/1934-07/01/2016 Survivors: Daughter- Melanie Sturm & Son- Bob Strum Barton Gault-Imperial Beach, CA 07/02/1949-07/01/2016 Survivors: Wife- Pamela Gault Clifton Perrin-Spring Valley, CA 10/25/1956-07/03/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Simone Perrin & Son -Garrett Sterling Richard Usem-San Diego, CA 02/14/1937-07/06/2016 Survivors: Cousin - Ruth Goldberg Hyman Gendoff-Carlsbad , CA 02/12/1924-07/06/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Gita Gendoff Bernard Novick-San Diego, CA 11/23/1924-07/06/2016 Survivors: Wife- Shirley Novick & Daughters - Barbara Bier & Francine Friedman

Gail Sando-San Diego, CA 12/25/1953-07/06/2016 Survivors: Daughters - Aimee Cruz, Stacy Thorne & Beth Sando & 3 Grandchildren Ruth Rowen-Encinitas, CA 11/10/1913-07/09/2016 Survivors: Daughters - Elisheva Green & Chava Schozeit, 9- Grandchildren & 30- Great Grandchildren David Weinstein-San Diego, CA 07/26/1940-07/09/2016 Survivors: Wife - Elsa Weinstein Martin Goorevich-Cardiff, CA 04/19/1925-07/09/2016 Survivors: Wife - Ruth Goorevitch, Daughters - Charlotte Goldstein, Carol Wadlinger & Barbara Cook & 4- Grandchildren Betya Bershtein-Santee, CA 09/30/1922-07/12/2016 Survivors: Daughters - Rachel Foss & Lora Bershtein Sandra Schoenkopf-San Diego, CA 06/18/1933-07/14/2016 Survivors: Sister - Maxine Gellens

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Eleanor Sobel-San Diego, CA 02/08/1933-07/15/2016 Survivors: Son - Jeff Sobel & 4 Grandchildren Florence Kronfeld-San Diego, CA 02/17/1927-07/17/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Yonina Schnee, Son - Peter Kronfeld & 3 Grandchildren Sidney Wapner-Chula Vista, CA 06/05/1928-07/19/2016 Survivors: Wife - Frida Wapner, Sons - Paul & Aaron Wapner & 3 Grandchildren Dmitry Gelfer-San Diego , CA 06/16/1933-07/20/2016 Survivors: Wife - Laura Gelfer, Daughters- Alla Kasan & Jean Gelfer , 3 Grandchildren & 1 Great Grandchild Lillian Ross-San Diego , CA 06/21/1916-07/20/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Wendy Ross , Son- Richard Ross & 4 Grandchildren Marcia Merel- Encinitas , CA 06/29/1933-07/23/2016 Survivors: Husband- Cantor Sheldon Merel, Daughter- Judith Merel, Sons Josh & Dan Merel & 2 Grandchildren

Abraham Markinzon-San Diego , CA 03/15/1923-07/25/2016 Survivors: Wife - Mariya Markinzon, & Daughters- Mila Zagyanskiy & Anna Loginov Robert Bresnick-Canyon Country, CA 02/02/1949-07/23/2016 Survivors: Brother - Phil Bresnick Marcos Katz- Coronado, CA 02/22/1927- 07/26/2016 Survivors: Wife - Adela Kenner de Katz, & Daughter- Raquel Katz Beatrice Schulman-San Diego, CA 09/06/1919- 07/27/2016 Survivors: Son - Paul Schulman Jeffrey Steir-San Marcos , CA 10/12/1958-07/27/2016 Survivors: Mother - Beverly Steir Gertrude Buchman-Encinitas, CA 07/20/1917-07/28/2016 Survivors: Son - Jeff Taxzon David Sachs-La Jolla , CA 10/19/1935-06/28/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Benita Sachs & Son - Avram Sachs

Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 83

EVENTS

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84 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

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TEMPLE BETH SHALOM Welcoming babies and families to San Diego’s Jewish Community

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To receive your Shalom BaBy BaSkeT and for informaTion conTacT: San Diego .............. Judy Nemzer • 858.362.1352 • shalombaby@lfjcc.org North County......... Vivien Dean • 858.357.7863 • shalombabyncounty@lfjcc.org www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby • www.facebook.com/shalombabypjlibrarysandiego Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Mandell Weiss Eastgate City Park, 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

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Elul 5776 • Tishrei 5777 | SDJewishJournal.com 85

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86 SDJewishJournal.com l October 2016

2016

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