FEBRUARY 2023/MARCH 2023
GASLIGHTING LOVE ACTUALLY IS.... WITH ELIZABETH RICCI
BLACK HISTORY MONTH WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH SELF CARE WITH JANE MARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE
TANYA EVANSSolo Trips GOLF TOURNAMENT You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup!
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CONTENTS
10. LETTER FROM PUBLISHER 12. LETTER FROM EXECUTIVE EDITOR 14. LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR
CULTURE & CUISINE
16. INTERVIEW WITH DR. CHANTA HAYWOOD 18.CAJUN TUSCAN PASTA 20. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY 21. CHICKPEA SOUP
LIVING LOCAL
22. W.E. ELEVATE: TAMARYN WATERS 24. SWEET HOME TALLAHASSEE: VICKI BRADLEY 25. AROUND TOWN: GIRLS ON THE RUN WONDER WOMEN AWARDS 26. HAUTE HAPPENINGS
ON THE COVER
28. FAITH AND FAMILY ON THE FRONT LINES WITH ADRIAN COOKSEY, JEANNE' & BRANDI KNIGHT
38
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP
36. WHERE YOU RETIRE COULD IMPACT YOUR TAXES 37. LEGAL WRITES WITH DANA BROOKS 38. STACKED: WOMEN IN REAL ESTATE 40. UPCOMING WOMEN WHO MEAN BUSINESS AWARDS
TRAVEL
42. MADAME XHALES ON CLOUD 9 ADVENTURES 45. TRAVELING SOLO
28 22 28
MIND, BODY & SPIRIT 46. GIRLFRIEND, GET AWAY FROM GASLIGHTERS! 48. GUILTY PLEASURES
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
48. LOVE ACTUALLY IS WITH ELIZABETH RICCI & RAMBANA
18 48
28. ABOUT THE COVER: | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | DRESS: PRIVATE COLLECTION
tallahassee woman | 4 | february 2023 • march 2023
WOM A N
MAGAZINE
February 2023 - March 2023 • Volume 18 • Issue 2
Publisher | Editor-in-Chief Dr. Michelle Mitcham
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Laci Swann CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith RELATIONSHIP MANAGER Cristina Carter
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson
INTERNS Lydia Beazer
ADVERTISING For advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 739-1720 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.
TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith. The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions. Copyright © 2023 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.
tallahassee woman | 6 | february 2023 • march 2023
Celebrating
Black History Month By Laci Swann
J
anuary 1st marks a new beginning – a new year and a fresh start. Many people feel a major boost of energy when January 1st rolls around. There’s just something about a clean slate. While I love the start of a new year, my energy really comes alive on February 1st, the start of Black History Month. As a human and a mama to Black children, I am committed to doing the work. I’m fueled to take stock of where systemic racism persists, enthusiastic about creating spaces for my POC counterparts, and enthralled with the new lessons I learn through book recommendations and community involvement. Please understand that Black History Month is a special time to engage with history
but certainly not the only time. Prioritize continually supporting Black businesses. Also, share information, whether in person or online, about racial injustice. Show the world that you do not stand with bigotry and injustice. Consider donating to Black youth programs. Our children are our future, so let us uplift and support. I encourage you to engage with history, as this is vital to providing context for the present, and I encourage you to make a genuine effort to understand Black history, going beyond stories of racism to spotlight Black achievement. May we embrace the narrative, the truth, that Black accomplishments are the cornerstone of America. I hope you feel new waves of energy, too, and now is as good a time as ever to create change for yourself and your community.
CONTRIBUTORS
KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is AUTUMN VASSEL a Tallahassee-based WRITER Autumn Vassell, founder portrait photographer of Fall For Your Travels specializing in families, REGINA LYNCHheadshots and boudoir LLC, is a Verified HUDSON Travel Consultant from and commercial WRITER photography. She books Detroit, Michigan. Veteran publicist LACI SWANN While working full-time locally in Tallahasee and luxury lifestyle and is available for WRITER as a process engineer, experience-aholic, travel worldwide. View Laci Swann is a Board Autumn also decided Regina Lynch-Hudson, Kira's portfolio online at Member of the Autism to open her own travel pens MadameXhales, kiraderryberry.com Society of Florida, agency in 2022 named slated towards the vinrepresenting the state’s Fall For Your Travels tage of woman that enpanhandle in fundraising LLC it offers clients joys more time to travel. and advocacy efforts. a variety of different MadameXhales explores Laci is the Principal services like travel destinations, cruises, reof Sharp Editorial, an consultations, itinerary sorts, spas and extracuraward-winning editorial planning, and booking. ricular activities. + small business consulting + branding design.
JANE MARKS WRITER MICHAEL N Jane Marks is a licensed MITCHAM psychotherapist "life WRITER coach" with 50+ years of Michael N Mitcham experience specializing is a retired senior in child and adolescent network engineering and behavior. She is a operations executive, motivational speaker/ possessing over three lecturer focusing on decades of experience in mental health and the telecommunications adolescents. industry. He grew up in Detroit, MI and earned a BSEE from Michigan State University, and an MBA from Northern Illinois University.
REBECCA WEAVER WRITER Rebecca Weaver, news reporter, onair personality Steve Harvey Morning Show, guest chef WCTV’s “Good Morning Show.” Rebecca inspires positive change nationally and internationally. She promotes peace, respect for diversity, and advancements towards equality for all.
tallahassee woman | 8 | february 2023 • march 2023
THAIS GONZALEZ WRITER Thais Gonzalez is a retired Tallahassee Spanish teacher. She taught over 5,000 students in the community throughout her career. Leading students to first place at the annual regional Modern Language Expo competition on multiple occasions she is well known in her field.
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Celebrating
Small Things Often! HAPPY SPRINGTIME!
T
PUBLISHER
here is so much to celebrate! Life, love, family, friendships, sisterhood, happiness, faith, accomplishments, Black History Month, Women’s History Month and just being alive! What are you celebrating this week or month? No need to wait for a holiday to embrace and celebrate yourself or someone you respect or care about. Life is short. Appreciate the small things often…. small successes as well as big ones. Are you enjoying the journey and not just the destination? TWM celebrates diverse people, perspectives, religions, and special holidays. This month is a special one – Black History month, celebrating the accomplishments of African American people that contribute so much to our community, our country, and our world. With this said, TWM congratulates three outstanding and courageous African American women in the healthcare field, Adrian Cooksey, Brandi Knight, and Jeanne Freeman. Our own dynamic Paula DeBoles-Johnson introduces these phenomenal women in a heartfelt reflection that you don’t want to miss. Celebrating small things often or that we take for granted, is critical for our well-being and happiness. Because the small things are important and add up. It is critical for us busy women to slow down and savor the special moments and the ones we love. In this issue, we celebrate love actually, in a special interview with Elizabeth Ricci, on her secrets to a successful and loving relationship with her darling husband, Neil. Don’t ever stop celebrating love and loved ones. This time of year, the community is celebrating women, such as United Way’s Women United Power of the Purse; and Tallahassee Community College celebrates Women in History; Oasis Center for Women and Girls celebrates its Trailblazer Awards and so many more great events, so mark your calendars. Come out and enjoy the positive energy and celebrate with the community of caring women.
Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography
Please take time to renew, refresh, reset, reclaim your time, reflect, and recharge your batteries. Renewal, just like the lotus flower, is possible every day. Give yourself permission to redefine what is important in your life and take the time needed to celebrate you and others. Revisit your selfcare plan and make the adjustments needed to be the best version of yourself. Optimistically yours,
Dr. Michelle Mitcham
tallahassee woman | 10 | february 2023 • march 2023
850.777.7777
Empowering Women
Destin | Tallahassee | Jacksonville
“Remember that your power is never too far out of reach. Your power lies in knowing that you possess the strength.” -Laci Swann
H
ere we are, approaching the end of Q1 of 2023. Time flies, doesn’t it? Reflecting on past years, I was definitely that person that would assess my progress regarding my resolutions. Have I stuck with them? Where have I fallen short? Am I giving my best effort? This year, though, I’ve already learned a valuable lesson that far surpasses any progress check-in or resolution – I’ve learned that it’s never too late to bet on yourself. More important than betting on ourselves is the follow-through. We are worth the follow-through. A few short weeks ago, I started my doctorate classes at FSU. Undoubtedly, I’m the oldest person in the classroom (and the rustiest, considering I haven’t set foot on a college campus in years). To be totally transparent, I almost dropped out before I started because I was overcome with anxiety about finding
parking on campus. The truth is, I was looking for a way out – a reason to tell myself that this goal was too big or too overwhelming. Really, my mindset was too small, and upon setting foot on campus, I realized that I was capable of doing all the things. Moreso, I am worth the effort. Earning my Ph.D. will be a long road, especially as a mama with a ton on her plate, but I’m determined to be fueled by potential hurdles instead of talking myself out of what I have dreamed of and deserve. I truly hope this letter awakens the little voice inside your head and the giant inside your heart, nudging you to go swiftly toward your dreams. No one is perfect, no matter how well-puttogether someone appears. Sometimes, we fall short of sticking with resolutions and lose sight of our goals, but remember that your power is never too far out of reach. Your power lies in knowing that you possess the strength to dust yourself and try again, regardless of the day, month, or year. This is your sign to keep going. xx
Laci is the Principal of Sharp Editorial, an award-winning editorial + small business consulting + branding design firm. Since 2016, Sharp Editorial has served thousands of clients, including professional athletes, television stars, Fortune 500 companies, and a range of other professionals. Laci is passionate about ensuring that her table always has room for others, encouraging women to pull up a seat and stay awhile.
tallahassee woman | 12 | february 2023 • march 2023
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tallahassee woman | 13 | february 2023 • december 2023
“Build a strong support system that is loyal, supportive, and committed to you. You deserve it.” -Paula DeBoles Johnson
EUGST EDTIOR
Forget Imposter Syndrome. You have earned the right to walk into your own legacy. Don’t squander your opportunity. Do not waste your energy with people who don’t support you. Build a strong support system that is loyal, supportive, and committed to you. You deserve it. Take the time to refocus, refresh, and restore YOU. You have to be in fighting shape to make an impact. My sisters will be hearing from me soon, because I miss our time together. Lunch, happy hour, a trip to the park or abroad – I’m looking forward to strengthening my circle.
M
Photo by Jennifer Powell Photography
y daughters and I decided in late November that 2023 was going to be an incredible year for us and everyone in our circle. Yes, we decided that! We ruminated over decisions and alliances we made in 2022, discussed failures and successes, using this information to plan our upcoming year. We jumpstarted our plans by vacationing in Jamaica before the years’ end. We soaked up the sun, met new friends, walked the beach, slept, danced, enjoyed the sights, recorded a podcast that reminded us to “Drink Your Water Sis!”, and cried. Yep, I had a full on meltdown one evening as I thought about all that our family and close circle of friends had endured during the year. Don’t be alarmed, it was fine. I shed tears of gratefulness, because we withstood all that came against us. We made it, though not unscathed. We came out on the other side, stronger, and more focused than before, because of our confidants, supporters, friends, and sisters. This season, I hope that you will join me in committing to building strong, healthy, and supportive relationships, especially amongst women. While you’re cultivating these relationships there are three things that I hope you will lean into.
tallahassee woman | 14 | february 2023 • march 2023
Paula DeBoles Johnson is a trainer, consultant, author and speaker. She leads with passion and authenticity, helping others to take their careers - and themselves - to unprecedented levels. Paula easily connects with others, inspiring and empowering them to maximize their potential. She works with Leon County Government and the Capital City Youth Development Corporation. Her family is her greatest treasure.
Interview with Dr. Chanta Haywood
on the 20th Anniversary of her book, Prophesying Daughters: Black Women Preachers and the Word, 1823-1913
O
CULTURE & CUISINE
n the 20th anniversary of the publication of her groundbreaking book, Prophesying Daughters: Black Women Preachers and the Word, 1823-1913, TWM sat down to have a conversation with FSU Professor, Dr. Chanta Haywood. Dr. Haywood has lectured on her book at several universities including Yale in 2020. In 2016, it was printed in a second edition by the University of Missouri press because of its continued appeal to audiences in women’s studies, theology, literature and history. Thank you so much for agreeing to talk with us. In a nutshell, what is Prophesying Daughters about? Thank you for all of the work you all do to promote empowerment of women in Tallahassee and surrounding areas. Prophesying Daughters is about black women who felt called by God to preach during and after slavery. They honored that call despite the harsh realities they faced during that time, and they chronicled lives in powerful autobiographies. I analyze how their books give us amazing insight into how religious belief was used to challenge race, class and gender issues during that time. My academic discipline is literature, so I offer a theory for analyzing literature with strong religious imagery and themes.
That is fascinating. Who were some of these women, and how did you become interested in this topic? They were Jarena Lee, Maria Stewart, Julia Foote and Frances Gaudet. It’s an exciting story about I became interested in their work. My dissertation chair at UCSD, Frances Smith Foster, was doing amazing work on 19th century black women writers, and I was her research assistant. I was planning to study writers like Toni Morrison and Sherley Anne Williams, but Dr. Foster introduced nudged me to this area. Around the same time, Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates, asked me write the introduction to a book in a series of spiritual narratives he’d discovered in the Schomburg, and I did so for the autobiography of Frances Joseph Gaudet. So those two got me on the path, and I could not deviate from it. It must have been amazing learning about these women. Was there something you discovered that shocked you?
ByTWM Staff
that, they did more than preach, and as a result they left an impressive list of firsts in their churches and in society. I mean, the conviction was just awe-inspiring. Their audiences were also very diverse, and that fascinates me to this day. One would think they’d have primarily black working class audiences. No. They preached to men, women, blacks, whites and Native Americans from all socio-economic statuses. This was such a prevalent fact, that I wanted the artist who did the design to be sure to try to capture that.
I was amazed by how each of the women I studied was absolutely, unequivocally convinced that God spoke to them directly and told them to preach. Once they came to terms with that call, they did not look back. They left husbands and children to do so. They travelled all over the country and abroad, often times by themselves. They even ran the risk of getting enslaved. And on top of
DID THEIR BOOKS INFLUENCE YOU IN ANY WAYS?
WHAT CAN WOMEN TODAY LEARN FROM THEIR LIVES?
Absolutely. They acted on an unshakable belief that they had been called to change the world. Oprah had a section in her magazine called “remembering your spirit.” Their lives made me reflect upon the importance of acknowledging the spiritual presence of God in me and using it every day to make my segment of the world better. I wake up with that in me.
These 19th century prophesying daughters can teach women today the importance of the finding their destinies and dreams and being committed enough to themselves to pursue and actualize them. They left us a legacy of spiritual strength. We can all draw from it.
tallahassee woman | 16 | february 2023 • march 2023
tallahassee woman | 17 | october • november 2022
CAJUN TUSCAN PASTA By Rebecca Weaver
W
hen it’s cold outside, it’s time to turn the heat up inside—in the kitchen, that is! There is no better way to keep warm on cold winter nights than with spicy foods, and Cajun Tuscan Pasta brings the heat! Make your dinner table the best restaurant in town by serving up this flavorful Cajun Tuscan Pasta, all while showing off your
INGREDIENTS
½ cup dry white wine ½ cup chicken broth 1 teaspoon lemon juice 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard 3 teaspoons Cajun seasoning ½ teaspoons garlic powder
incredible skills to your loved ones. Whether you are looking for an amazing comfort food or an impressive dish to serve for a special occasion, this dish is undoubtedly a great go-to. With this recipe by your side, there is no need for Valentine’s (or Galantine’s) Day reservations at a fancy spot.
4 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon butter 1 cup heavy whipping cream 1 shallot, diced 2 teaspoons garlic, diced 1 ½ cups baby spinach 8 oz baby bella mushrooms, sliced ½ cup sundried tomatoes
12 oz bacon or pancetta, diced 16 oz shrimp, peeled and deveined 1 package of bucatini or linguine 1 teaspoon salt Optional: Fresh basil and parmesan cheese (shredded)
tallahassee woman | 18 | february 2023 • march 2023
DIRECTIONS 1. Bring a pot of water to a boil; add salt. Add the pasta and cook according to package directions when the water is at a rolling boil. Remove the pasta from the water and set it aside to drain in a colander, but be sure to reserve a cup of pasta water. 2. Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil to a warm skillet. Add diced bacon pieces or pancetta to the skillet and fry until crisp and browned. Transfer the bacon to a plate.
instead of the heavy whipping cream. Sauté the mushrooms in olive oil. • If you do not like spicy foods, omit the Cajun seasoning and use 2 teaspoons of Italian seasoning. • This dish can be garnished with freshly chopped basil and shredded parmesan cheese. • Serve this pasta dish with lightly toasted ciabatta bread or focaccia.
3. In the bacon grease, sauté the mushrooms until tender. Transfer mushrooms to bowl and set aside. 4. Add 1 tablespoon olive oil and shallots to the same skillet. Sauté shallots until golden. Then, add the garlic. Sauté shallot and garlic mixture for about two minutes. 5. Add the chicken broth, wine, Dijon mustard, and lemon juice to the pan. Stir/whisk until well combined. Let it bubble for a minute or so. 6. Add the sundried tomatoes and cream to the pan. Simmer for two minutes. 7. While your sauce is simmering, sauté the shrimp in a separate skillet with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of butter, 1 teaspoon of Cajun seasoning, and ½ teaspoon of garlic powder just until pink. Do not overcook. 8. Add the bacon and mushroom/shallot mixture to the cream sauce. Cook for another few minutes until the flavors are incorporated and the sauce thickens. 9. Stir in the shrimp and spinach. Cook for a minute or so until the spinach wilts. Give the sauce a taste and season with remaining Cajun seasoning if desired. 10. Toss the pasta with the sauce. Serve immediately with freshly grated parmesan. PRO TIPS: • For a thinner pasta sauce, stir in some of the reserved pasta water to your desired consistency. • For a thicker sauce, add 1 to 2 teaspoons of flour to hot chicken broth and lemon juice. Whisk to create a roux. Let this mixture thicken before adding cream. Whisk the roux and the cream well until smooth and creamy. • For a vegetarian dish, omit the bacon and shrimp. Use ½ cup more white wine in place of the chicken broth. • For a pescatarian dish, omit the bacon and sauté the mushrooms in 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Replace the chicken broth with white wine. • For a vegan dish, omit the proteins and use coconut cream
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tallahassee woman | 19 | february 2023 • december 2023
WOMEN'S INTERNATIONAL
By Lydia Beazer
MARCH 8, 2023
I
n 1909, thousands of American women went on strike to demand safe working conditions and fair wages. Their uprising transformed women’s roles in industry and marked the beginning of Women’s Day celebrations. They changed the world. On the world’s first International Women’s Day in 1911, women across the U.S. and Europe united to campaign for suffrage. They succeeded in their goal. On March 8th, 1917, Russian women went on strike to demand their basic rights were met. They sparked a revolution. Over 100 years later, we’ve come a long way. But even in the age of technology and social justice, we’ve still got a long way left to go. With a new age comes new challenges. Many are being denied education, despite its availability. The dark side of the internet
exploits women and girls. Stereotypes and workplace stigma are keeping women on the outskirts of STEM careers. That’s why the UN decided this year’s Women’s Day theme is “DigitALL: Innovation and technology for gender equality”. Just like every age before, our modern world needs women! With a new age comes new ways to make our voices heard. This year on March 8th, celebrate those who are championing women's places in cutting-edge careers. Take action to protect our vulnerable sisters by donating or volunteering. Connect with and support women on social media, in workplaces, in communities. Like those first brave protestors on the streets of New York, together, we can make a difference. It’s our world too.
tallahassee woman | 20 | february 2023 • march 2023
CHICKPEA SOUP
I
By Thais Gonzalez
(Sopa de Garbanzos)
absolutely love chickpea soup. It has a very satisfying taste, is filling and delicious. I grew up with chickpea soup or “sopa de garbanzos” as we said it in our house. It was a staple on our table practically every week and I still cook it very often. When I make it, I also make rice because I like the combination of the two. Just add 2 or 3 tablespoons of rice to the soup and you”ll have a perfect meal. This is a very simple recipe that I have created after making it for many, many years. If I want to prepare it Spanish style, I add 1 or 2 cut chorizos when I start the process of making the soup. Take time and make your “sopa de garbanzos.” You may want to enjoy it again and again. INGREDIENTS: 3 tablespoons avocado oil 1 medium onion cut in little peaces 5 cloves smash garlic 1 medium cut tomato
1 can 8 ounces tomato sauce 1 carton chicken/vegetable broth 1 can chickpeas 1 large potato peeled and cut in small peaces Salt and pepper to taste. PREPARATION: Empty can of chickpeas in a strainer. Wash them and rinse well. Place chickpeas in a medium size pot and add broth and potatoes. Sauté onion and garlic cloves in avocado oil for 3 or 4 minutes. Add tomato, tomato sauce and salt and pepper. Continue cooking and stirring with a wooden spoon until it is bubbling. Add to chickpeas and potatoes and cook at medium/low heat for about 30 minutes or so, stirring every now and then and adding warm water if it is evaporating too soon. The result should be a delicious thick soup. Serve it in a soup bowl and garnish with rosemary, parsley or whatever pleases you. Enjoy!
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tallahassee woman | 21 | february 2023 • december 2023
W.E. ELEVATE Women Empowered Elevate
M LIVING LOCAL
s. Waters, a Florida A&M University alumna, has a passion for storytelling and has received several awards for her coverage of homelessness, business developments, connections between government and businesses, and human-interest topics. Her most recent awards came from the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors for her coverage of the Myron May mass shooting at Florida State University’s Strozier Library, the investors and political roots of The Edison, the redevelopment of the Centre of Tallahassee Mall, and the miraculous discovery and adoption of an abandoned baby known to millions as “Baby Charlie.” She was honored by Live Communications in 2011 as “25 Leaders You Need to Know,” and she was a 2013 honoree by the C.K. Steele Foundation for embodying virtues of the late civil rights leader. In 2017, she was a Black History Month honoree recognized by the Florida Department of Children and Families. Ms. Waters also enjoys participating in community service, including speaking to young girls about body image and self-esteem. She serves on the Board of Directors for the School of Arts and Sciences and previously worked with the public relations team behind the annual LeMonyne Chain of Parks Arts Festival. Waters is a member of Gamma Sigma Sigma National Service Sorority and serves as chapter reporter for the Leon County Chapter of The Charmettes Incorporated.
What's your WHY in telling or capturing stories about individuals or companies in Tallahassee? I've always wanted to be an instrument to amplify stories that help reveal moments in our lives -- the highs, the lows and everything in between. In those moments, we learn the most about ourselves and our response to the needs of others. I've been blessed with an opportunity to interview countless people over my career, who've shared those moments and insights that have shaped them and our communities. As a woman, how do you empower other women in the community? I think it's vital that we lift each other. We don't do that enough. The ability and desire to lift each other comes in many forms, including a kind word or opening a door toward opportunity. We have to make an effort to see our time and talents extended to others as an investment in each other. What is a question you think TWM or others should ask you and why? Ask yourself every day: What am I thankful for today, and how can I use my time and talents today to fulfill my ultimate purpose? What can others do to elevate our community? Every week, make an effort to support or patronize a business that forces you out of your routine. It's so easy to get stuck in what's familiar, but I challenge us all to find ways to go out of our way to support businesses, restaurants and other ventures outside of our personal neighborhoods and circles.
tallahassee woman | 22 | february 2023 • march 2023
TaMaryn Waters TaMaryn Waters is an award-winning reporter for the Tallahassee Democrat and Tallahassee.com. The New Jersey native began her career as a news assistant in 2003. Within two years, she became a part-time reporter covering human-interest and neighborhoods stories, and she later became a full-time reporter within the same year. Her career also spans coverage of K-12/children, local government, and nonprofits. She now reports on business and economic development, including major projects reshaping Tallahassee’s skyline.
“I think it's vital that we lift each other. We don't do that enough.”
SWEET HOME TALLAHASSEE
M
y LT Experience Most people know of Leadership Tallahassee because of the incredible leaders who are connected to this program. People who are leading some of our city’s biggest companies, teaching our children and showing up for us through some of life’s toughest times. You might have also heard from people who have gone through this program how much better their lives are, because of the experience. If you have not, please allow me to share mine with you. My LT experience is probably a little different than most people. I came to Tallahassee in 2019, it was head down getting the work done, then Covid happened. So, there wasn’t any time for getting to know people outside the walls of my television station. I came into LT with a desire to connect with people who were passionate about our community. I came into LT with a desire to learn more about the people whose stories it’s been my job to help tell as the news director at WTXL. What I didn’t expect was that I would fall in love with this city and the people. I was also blessed with a firsthand look at the needs of our community and the people who step up to make lives here so much better. This February recruitment begins again for the next best class ever! As you read this, forget all the things you heard about who Leadership Tallahassee is looking for and look at all the reasons why you are who we need in our next class. If you’re willing to commit to the program, keep an open heart and mind, this will be one of the best experiences of your life. You will be so much better for your community, family, and friends because of LT. Leadership Tallahassee is a program of the Greater Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce.
Vicki Bradley
Applications are now being accepted for LT Class 41 through April 3. To apply visit www.Leadershiptallahassee.com. Vicki Bradley, LT39 2023 Leadership Tallahassee Recruitment Chair
tallahassee woman | 24 | february 2023 • march 2023
AROUND
TOWN
GIRLS ON THE RUN ANNOUNCES WONDER WOMEN OF TALLAHASSEE
W
onder Woman has inspired generations of people whether it was the comic book, the TV show, or the recent popular films. Locally, Girls on the Run (GOTR) Panhandle recognized the power and strength that Wonder Woman represents for so many. This was the inspiration for their inaugural Wonder Woman Awards fundraiser which kicked-off in October and culminated with their celebratory Awards Night on October 27, 2022, where the Top winners were announced as well as the Wonder Girl and Wonder Woman of the Year for 2022. GOTR Executive Director Jennifer Powell shared, ‘The spirit behind this event is to elevate the contributions of women and girls in our community. We looked for women who exemplified Wonder Woman’s values of strength, leadership, hope, compassion, and service. This mirrors directly what we try to teach our girls in our Girls on the Run program. Our 22 individual finalists as well as a team represent the unique gifts that women and girls bring to our community. They bring diversity in where and how they serve the community and are accomplished in their selected professions and school careers. Finalists were selected based on nominations
Anita Bushnyakova Christic Henry Brianna Rogers Alva Swafford Striplin Brittany Christie 2022 KCCI COMMUNITY CATALYST TEAM Tiffany Baker, Donna Blanton, Vicki Bradley, Missy Briggs, Jordan Jacobs, Andrea Jones, Ericka McKibbin, Kristen Summers, Darby Tish GIRL FINALISTS Camryn Whitley John Paul Catholic II High School Aubrey Knight Roberts Elementary Mary Clayton Soto Maclay High School Gracie Koeppel Maclay High School JHazmine Dawson Swift Creek Middle School Belen Rambana Maclay High School Caroline Couch Maclay High School Kandance Fredericksen Baker High School
from the community. A total of 25 Finalists (22 Women and 8 Girls) were selected.
WOMEN FINALISTS Lauren Perlman Wendi Cannon Dr. Judy Mandrell Deputy Chief Tonja Bryant-Smith Kelly A. Tucker Shonda Knight Mary Stafford Loranne Ausley
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Photos By Jennifer Powell Photography
HAUTE HAPPENINGS PRIDE AND PREJUDICE February 3-12, 2023 Young Actors Theatre 609 Glenview Drive Tallahassee, FL 32303
An original romantic comedy based on Jane Austen’s novel about first impressions, gender, class, and the danger of judging a book by its cover. For more information, visit www.youngactorstheatre.com
FIELD DAY MUSIC FESTIVAL
February 26th, 2023 2:00 PM – 7:00 PM Alfred B. Maclay Gardens State Park 3540 Thomasville Road Tallahassee, FL 32309
Join former Judge Judith W. Hawkins as she helps us learn how to weigh earthly decisions and heavenly values to discover “Living THE Balanced Life”. Learn more at eventbrite.com
CLEAVER AND CORK FOOD AND WINE FESTIVAL
March 4th, 2023 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM Tallahassee Community College Intramural Fields 444 Appleyard Drive Tallahassee FL 32304
Celebrate all the community has to offer as you taste delicious food and spirits prepared by local master chefs. Learn from the best as you watch culinary demonstrations and take master classes from internationJoin the fight against cancer while al wine experts. For more informahaving fun at the park! Watch live tion, visit outdoor performances, enjoy lowww.cleaverandcorktcc.com cal food trucks, participate in field games, and help raise money for SPRINGTIME TALLAHASthe Judy Field Memorial FoundaSEE MUSIC FESTIVAL tion. For more information, visit March 31st, 2023 eventbrite.com 6:00 PM Kleman Plaza ENRICHMENT & EMPOW306 S Duval St ERMENT WOMEN’S Tallahassee, FL 32301
CONFERENCE
February 25, 2023 8:45 AM – 3:30 PM Tallahassee Community College Workforce Development Building 444 Appleyard Drive Tallahassee, FL 32304
Meet in the plaza to enjoy an exciting lineup of musical talent and food vendors. Don’t miss out on this free show to kick off the springtime cele-
brations! For more information, visit www.springtimetallahassee.com
THE JUNGLE BOOK
March 23rd, 2023 6:30 PM Richard G. Fallon Theater 530 W Call St. Tallahassee, FL 32301 The beloved childhood classic comes to life in a musical production for the whole family to enjoy. Join Mowgli and friends as the Panto Company shares a story sure to make you smile. For more information and tickets, visit openingnights.fsu.edu
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE R.E.D. WOMAN RECHARGE March 24, 2023 3035 Eliza Rd 3035 Eliza Road Tallahassee, FL 32308 Resilient, Empowered, Determined Women Recharge (RWR) is brought to you by Tallahassee Woman Magazine to reset, renew and recharge your batteries. Connect with other resilient women in business ready to live their best lives. $45 General Admission $35 Early Bird Registration by March 3rd
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TRAILBLAZER LUNCHEON FRIDAY, MARCH 3 11:30 AM-1 PM AC MARRIOTT @ CASCADES PARK
2023 HONOREES: LEGACY AWARD ALTHEMESE BARNES
TRAILBLAZERS JAN AUGER LORANNE AUSLEY DR. ARGATHA GILMORE ELIZABETH RICCI
UNSUNG SHERO This luncheon is the communitywide celebration of Women's History Month. The Trailblazer Luncheon gives visibility to the accomplishments of women in our community who have blazed trails, created opportunity for others, and have made our world a better place.
BARBARA BOONE
GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING KAYLIN JEAN-LOUIS
TICKET & SPONSORSHIP INFORMATION: https://givebox.com/2023trailblazer Or call 850-222-2747
REAL STORIES. REAL CHANGE. tallahassee woman | 27 | february 2023 • december 2023
PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | DRESS: PRIVATE COLLECTION
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tallahassee woman | 28 | february 2023 • march 2023
BY: PAULA DEBOLES JOHNSON | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY
W
omen, particularly black women, have always been an integral part of the healthcare field. While history has oftentimes tried to silence their voices or invalidate their existence, history has shown us that when Black women are given the opportunity, despite limited resources and systemic barriers, they add immeasurable value to their communities. They stand guard, educating, fighting and advocating for us, daily, keeping us healthy in mind, body, and spirit, despite the difficulties. During COVID, these incredible women, shrouded in faith, bolstered by strong family connections, and deeply committed to their professions, with a single-minded determination to provide the best care and support for our community members, shone as brilliant beacons of light. Navigating the daily struggles of a global pandemic, seeing the devastation, fighting against misinformation and bureaucracy, all while caring for their communities, families, and friends. Yes, it is easy to forget that these women are also mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, aunts, and even granddaughters. Yet they continue to show up every day, as leaders, superheroes - sans capes, to care for us.
Adrian Cooksey, Jeanne’ Freeman, and Brandi Knight, all proud women of color, unapologetic and fierce in their authenticity, share how they began their journey into healthcare, their personal struggles, and the successes within their own lives. While each journey is unique and impactful, I see myself in all of these women. Beyond our FAMU connections, I too was raised by a single mother who championed me, and made me believe that I could achieve anything. I recall the harrowing medical scare that so closely mirrors mine, every year, so much so that I had to stop, breathe deeply, and remind myself that I am good-for at least another year. Finally, they helped to remind me of fond memories and the connections that I made during my time working in Gadsden County. Collectively these women are phenomenal, and each of them makes me feel as if a little of that Black Girl Magic and wisdom has been sprinkled onto me, and I am grateful. They, like so many other healthcare leaders, show courage in their workplaces every day. I am inspired by their shared hope, and their commitment to making a difference for future generations. They are an indelible portrait of faith, and family on the front lines. –
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I was lead to this position via divine intervention because I never imagined this would be what I was doing in 2023. I did not know that this was what God had planned for me and my family. In 2010, I was looking for a career change. Neighborhood Medical Center had a social worker position, and the rest is herstory! I worked my way up to administration, and then in 2016, became Executive Director and have not looked back. I was born and raised in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My parents met in college (FAMU and FSU). I am the oldest of 3 children and the only girl. I am a 3rd generation Rattler and a 2nd generation Seminole. I came to Tallahassee in 1997 for college and never left. I met the love of my life, Edwin Cummings, while we were in college and here we are, four children later. tallahassee woman | 31 | february 2023 • december 2023
the ultrasound and this time the radiologist told me that he could not tell what the nodule was without doing a biopsy.
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We scheduled the biopsy and then for the next week, I was planning my funeral in my head. My paternal grandmother died of breast cancer when I was in college and I was so scared. I thought about my children and how God had just gifted me with a daughter to take me away from her and my boys. Fast forward to the biopsy and thankfully, all was well. This experience triggered so many thoughts for me, however, the most important was how to ensure that women who need this service get this and any other health care issues addressed. I am here because people in our community need access to healthcare and I will continue to do just that.
Jeanne’ Freeman What is your WHY? My WHY just recently had a major impact on me. Edwin and I found out we were pregnant in 2020 with our first (and only) daughter. It was the start of the pandemic and I was terrified. Being pregnant and working in healthcare gave me information overload. Thankfully, our new daughter Brooklyn was great and we worked through the pandemic. I went in for my post-natal check-up with my OB/GYN and asked about scheduling my mammogram. I breastfed Brooklyn so I was informed that I would have to wait 6 months after I stopped nursing her in order to get my mammogram. So, I waited, and fast forward to early 2022. I went for my mammogram and I heard those awful words…”we found something and we need to do an ultrasound.” I was so scared sitting in that back room waiting for an ultrasound. Every bad thing that I could imagine was in my head. I was trying to calm myself down because this is what we tell our patients, “Be calm and try and be as patient as possible.” I finally made it to the ultrasound and after the images were taken, the radiologist came in and said I was ok, and to repeat the mammogram in 6 months. Nobody could beat me to scheduling my 6 month follow up in September of 2022. I got an appointment and this time, I heard those words again…”we found a nodule and we need to do an ultrasound.” I thought I was in the twilight zone. I did not think this could be possible. So I moved to that “other” waiting room and waited as calmly as I could to get another ultrasound. I got
As women, we are born nurturers and with that comes making our needs last on the priority list. We must not lose sight of our own needs, especially our healthcare needs. It is important that I move in a way that empowers women to be their own healthcare advocate. We have to support each other and ensure that we look out for one another. Had it not been for a coworker discussing her mammogram process, I would have put it off a little while longer because I was so busy with work, life and everything else. Life is too precious to put it off. The definition of empowerment is the authority or power given to someone to do something. My position at Neighborhood Medical Center is my platform for empowerment, especially for women and women of color. What statement does it make to the healthcare community that four women of color are leading the four major non-hospital healthcare agencies in our region? The statement is, we are here, and we have been here. We recognize the challenges of our community, good and bad, and we are standing firm and combatting those challenges, as we have done historically. Women of color have taken care of so many people so it is only feasible to think that we are where we are in this moment. We are making a difference in the lives of our community, no matter the color of the people we serve. We stand on the shoulders of many before us and we are paving the way for those young and beautiful girls of color coming after us. We all have daughters and this momentous occasion, called our lives, is for them. I want Brooklyn to look at her Mother and see what Black Girl Magic looks like in its purest form, which is being of service to others and uplifting people. As a woman of color, I have two things to always think about, being a black person and being a woman. That is who I am and I always want to be a positive voice and advocate for all
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women, but especially women of color, because they are me and I am them.
missions. This can be a challenge because it will take more than just money, it is changing mindsets.
I have been blessed to lead and the biggest part of leading is uplifting. It is amazing what prayers, love, opportunities and vision will get you. Today is an amazing time for our community; we should celebrate it and continue to expect it. We all want to be represented in a positive light and all of us have been given the opportunity to represent women, especially black women in such a light. It is a heavy weight to carry, but hopefully we have shown our community that we got this!
COVID has taken so many lives, especially people of color, so we must be intentional in our response to how we get through this pandemic. How do we equip our communities with tools to keep surviving these new times? The African American community has always been faced with challenges and I personally do not see that coming to a halt any time soon. As a member of this community we must continue to fight for each other and continue to take care of each other.
In this time of COVID, what unique challenges are there for agencies in the larger community as well as uniquely in the African American community? There have always been unique challenges for agencies in the larger community, especially in communities of color. COVID really exacerbated some of the root challenges that we face in the world, not just in this community. Communities have always had an issue with properly identifying what equity looks like and COVID really made that clearer, especially to those who had not seen it so up close and personal before. COVID required a sense of community that had not been tapped into like this in a long time. The pandemic, which is still present, will have life-long impacts on our communities, especially communities of color. I remember watching the Color of COVID on the OWN Network and I cried because this was what I saw so much of in healthcare over the years, especially as a black woman. The larger community had to see how the smaller community lived and how they made so much happen from so little for so long.
COVID is here and probably not going anywhere, so what time is better than now for us to collectively save each other? What time is better for us to want more for each other and do more for each other? What time is better for us to love each other more? I must say that something good did come from COVID, it brought many of us together, I mean look at what the Team at Second Harvest did to nourish this community. The most unique challenge will be for us to wake up and get out of this state of mediocrity and confusion.
The most unique challenge I faced as a healthcare provider, which was not new, was getting some people to see how important healthcare is to your quality of life. It is important for the larger community to understand that primary healthcare in minority communities is under-utilized because there are so many other unique situations that affect the people in these communities that healthcare has to take a back seat to. Understanding socio-economic status and social determinants of health is what the larger community may have a challenge with understanding, but the time has come for that to pass and for value to be placed on these concepts. These are real and present issues, especially in minority communities. Some of these challenges are lack of education, lack of transportation, food insecurity, homelessness and so on. COVID highlighted these barriers, among others, to healthcare, which ultimately impacts quality of life. The agencies in the larger community need to look at those in the smaller communities and see what resources they can lend to the smaller ones. How can they be of support to their causes and
Adrian Cooksey What led you to this position? My name is Adrian Cooksey, wife, birth mother of two girls (ages 5 and 22) and stepmom to my bonus son (23). I am from Lafayette “Cajun Country” Louisiana. My mom was a teacher and my dad worked for the oil industry. I had a great childhood, filled with
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COVER family, friends, and sports I fell into public health unexpectedly. I was attending Dillard University in New Orleans, LA. In my pursuit of a physical therapy degree, the University required a community health minor. I had completed all my required coursework and decided I would complete two community health internships in my last year. I remember walking into some of the public high schools in New Orleans to offer health education and screenings to young adults and their parents through a grant offered through LSU medical center in my first internship. In my second experience I worked with the New Orleans city government and community members to create a taskforce to address Healthy People 2000 objectives. My introversion was less prominent in these settings. I loved what I was doing, so when I graduated I opted out of going to physical therapy school for my master’s and moved from Louisiana to Tallahassee to pursue my master’s degree in public health. My parents thought I was crazy as I didn’t know anyone in Florida and would be nearly 500 miles away from my family. Besides, what is public health? Interestingly, my independent journey to self-discovery turned into a more aggressive journey into motherhood. I found out I was 4 months pregnant a month into starting my program, a parting gift from Louisiana. Did I mention I was by myself at 22 years old in what seemed to be a land far far away? My parents asked me to come home, I prayed, and declined the offer. They were upset. I decided I would keep going without interruption, hence my first recollection of gaining external help came from the health department. I received WIC services at the Leon CHD pre and post pregnancy and utilized other wrap around sources to find access to care. I learned the value of social services in partnership with the healthcare system. I needed help and encouragement as I tried to remain independent. The health department was a fundamental piece of the puzzle as I wonderwomaned through a full-time master’s program, two part time jobs, and single motherhood. I didn’t miss a beat, graduated at the top of class, on time, and secured a job with the Florida Department of Health. It was official-- bye Louisiana! I believe my WHY and HOW did I get here were rooted during those tender years of 21-23 years of age. It feels as if I have come full circle serving as the Health Officer for Gadsden County. The undergrad internship experience are now my responsibilities. Gadsden County cautiously opened their hearts to me and I have never looked back. We fight for better healthcare together. Women have kept me going through this journey, including my mom, Kathalee Cooksey, Dr. Cynthia Harris, my public health mom, Gloria James, my Tallahassee mother, Dr. Karla Schmitt, first public health boss lady, and Arrie Battles, the public health Queen of
Gadsden County and MotherCare Network! I like to believe Mrs. Battles' mantra: Speak up, be accountable, show up, and to build roots that will carry me as a woman through spaces that were not necessarily planned for me. The foundational competencies of FAMU’s IPH program mold my commitment to service, and the prayers of my mother and aunts will carry me the rest of the way. As I have graciously been shaped through women of all demographics, the healthcare system must recognize the importance of incorporating a woman’s viewpoint. What is your message to women about their health and wellness? We are the pulse of our households, the subject matter expert of our family dynamics, and solely possess the valuable responsibility to carry and birth the future. It seems appropriate that we should compose a comprehensive plan of cares for ourselves, FIRST. This includes routine physical and mental checkups and the capacity to recognize our 9-1-1 moments. What question do you wish people would ask and why? In the healthcare setting, I would hope people would feel empowered to ASK questions. Quite often people are intimated by the provider’s degree, processes, or judgement; yet a comprehensive care plan is best built on full disclosure. I would also hope people would share the cultural and or familial history to providers that may not be familiar or sensitive to their unique characteristics. Science is evolving, standards of care are evolving, and therapeutic options are evolving as the world realizes one size options will not fit all. A twitch or weird glance at your inquiry or transparent disclosure may be a minimal compromise when considering the costs of silence.
“ THEY CONTINUE TO SHOW UP DAILY AS LEADERS, SUPERHEROES SANS CAPES – TO CARE FOR US.”
tallahassee woman | 34 | february 2023 • march 2023
What is your WHY? I was raised by a single mother with a high school education and a grandmother with an eighth grade education. They both always empowered me to reach my full potential in all that I do. Growing up in the “hood” I remember always being seen as less because of my zip code. I watched my grandmother and mother argue with physicians when they would go to appointments because their symptoms were often dismissed. Women in healthcare, especially black women, is important because of what I just described. We need to see those who look like us and may understand us better to be successful in our health journey. I was led to public health by chance. While I’ve always wanted to help individuals, especially those underserved, I started out wanting to be a doctor. As I worked more with the community during my undergrad years at Tuskegee University and through my MPH program at the Florida A & M University, I realized community work was more my passion.
What is your message to women about their health and wellness? As a woman, we often wear several hats - mother, wife, caregiver, daughter, boss, employee, etc. We may lose sight of our personal health needs. We tend to everyone else before ourselves until it is too late. Our health and wellness is just as important. If we aren’t well, how can we adequately support our loved ones? My message to women: don’t reschedule that doctor’s appointment for the 2nd or 3rd time; use that vacation time to recalibrate and rest; take a walk when you’re stressed; and reconnect with family and friends.
Brandi Knight
Talk about your relationship with the larger healthcare community, hospitals, etc. The health department has a strong relationship with the larger healthcare community. The last few years helped to strengthen that relationship, allowing us to continue to work together to address health issues impacting our local community. No one entity can do this work alone. These relationships are imperative to us reaching positive health outcomes across all populations.
tallahassee woman | 35 | february 2023 • december 2023
Where You Retire Could Impact Your Taxes
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP
By Michael Mitcham
Every penny counts, especially for retirees. Taxes on your 401(k) & IRA distributions, pension and Social Security benefits can vary depending on the state that you live in. EIGHT STATES WITH NO INCOME TAXES 1. Alaska 2. Florida 3. Nevada 4. South Dakota 5. Tennessee 6. Texas 7. Washington 8. Wyoming
New Hampshire also has no income tax, so it doesn’t tax retirement distributions. It does, however, tax interest and dividends, which many retirees depend on for retirement income. Three other states have income taxes but give retirees a reduction on pensions and retirement plan distributions: 1. Illinois, which has a 4.95% flat income tax, won’t tax distributions from most pensions and 401(k) plans, as well as IRAs. 2. Mississippi has a maximum state tax of 5%. It doesn’t tax retirement distributions. 3. Pennsylvania has a 3.07% flat tax and doesn’t tax retirement plans. Most states provide some exemptions for retirement income. For example, in addition to the nine states with no income tax, twenty-one states don’t tax military retirement pay: Alabama, Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.
tallahassee woman | 36 | february 2023 • march 2023
FROM THE DESK OF
Dana Brooks
GIRL, LET’S TALK ABOUT HIRING A LAWYER…
k DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM
Girl, let’s talk about hiring a lawyer… So, you tried to resolve a legal problem but find yourself needing to hire a lawyer. Well congratulations on making a decision that’s in your best interest. Too often people try to save money and time by handling legal matters themselves only to compound the problem and increase the time and expense to resolve the matter when a lawyer finally gets involved. Here are a few tips for hiring an attorney. First, decide whether you actually need a lawyer. Sometimes you don’t. If it is a relatively simple, straightforward matter, like a small claims case, a simple divorce with no property or children and the parties agree on everything, or a landlord/tenant issue, check with your local courthouse to see if they have self-help packets or a case manager to assist you in representing yourself pro se. They will tell you if this is something you will need a lawyer to handle and refer you to legal aid or legal services in your area. They may even refer you to mediation where a neutral third party helps facilitate the resolution of your dispute for a nominal charge. Next, be prepared for your first meeting with your attorney, including being
prepared to pay for it. Most lawyers bill for their time so when you consume it, you must pay for it. And no, it doesn’t cost less when they talk on the phone or drive to a case event versus going to court or preparing a legal document. Time is time and for most lawyers, time is money. Generally, only personal injury attorneys offer initial consultations at no charge. You should expect to pay a standard fee or hourly rate for a consultation with any other type of attorney. Being fully prepared for your attorney meeting saves you time and money. Take time before the meeting to assemble all the receipts, texts, calendar entries, emails, financial documents, leases, contracts, and any other evidence you might need to prosecute or defend your case. Get those documents in legible form and put them in date order to assist your attorney and her team in making use of them. Some evidence can only be gathered by lawyers, but remember, anything your legal team has to do that you could do yourself costs you money. Think about what you hope to accomplish in the meeting and write it down. That should spur any questions that you need answered. Ask what the attorney’s plan is for handling the case, who will be your point of contact in the office,
tallahassee woman | 37 | february 2023 • march 2023
what their after-hours availability is, how often you will be updated on case status, how much experience the attorney/firm has with similar cases, and how long it will likely take to resolve. Ask what your responsibility will be to move the case forward. Minimally, be sure your attorney always has your updated contact information. Importantly, ask the attorney for a pro/ con analysis. Going with the attorney’s plan, how likely are you to get your desired result versus other possible outcomes, how long will it take, and what are the alternatives, such as taking a different approach to the case or settling for less money earlier to minimize time, attorneys’ fees, and legal costs. Some lawyers are very aggressive and litigate everything. That may not be a decision you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to ask about the risks. Pursuing your legal rights is not without consequence. If you sue someone and lose or must drop the case, you are responsible for the other side’s legal costs and sometimes their legal fees, which can run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. In dealing with a lawyer, a little preparation and thought on the front end can save you a lot of pain and money on the tail end. Good luck!
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Sisters, What Is Old Is New Again! FROM THE DESK OF
A
s a child, I was baptized in both the blood of Jesus and a perpetual layer of dirt. If I was not filthy at the end of the day, it probably had not been a very good day. The farm and its acreage had been my family’s for generations, and the upturned dirt of freshly plowed cornfields was often the only thing I could see for miles, other than my horse and our oversized bird dog who followed me everywhere. As the last child of parents who were serial entrepreneurs and not the least bit helicopter-ish, my freedom was as big as the horizon, and I used it to become just like them. I did my first of countless acquisition deals when I was 14 years-old under the supervision of my father, and while the land was owned by his company since I could not enter into contracts as a minor, I used all the tools available to me and his mentorship to cultivate the skills I would later master and continue to enlist to this day. My father believed that one has a moral duty to teach others when they have specialized knowledge of value, and it makes me smile knowing that I am now teaching other women these skills because of all he and the women in my life taught me. That dirt was and continues to be a part of me. Now, I wish to share its lessons and unlock its secrets with you – and for you. I won’t say how long ago that first deal was, yet it was more than a decade.
kcarrie@livegive850.com
Carrie Boyd
More than two. It consisted of a small piece of timber land that would almost quadruple in value four years later and be sold when deer hunters from New York bought it for cash, sight unseen. One of the jokes my family loves to tell is how deer put me through college. It is kind of funny. Real estate can do the same for your children or grandchildren, or it can fuel other dreams. It has long been a secret of rich people to buy and hold property for years, only to cash out equity at some point. Of course, all of this is done legally and completely tax-free courtesy of the United States tax code. Real estate also offers ways to avoid many taxes upon your death with proper estate planning. If you will learn to think of a real estate investment as a retirement or college savings account, your “WHY” will become sharper and sharper as you watch your children and grandchildren grow. Current interest rates and down payment options starting at possibly 0% of your own money make this the most enticing asset class in my opinion, contrary to the fearmongering often found in the news. I like telling bits of my backstory because not only am I at the age now where I enjoy my childhood memories as if they are old friends, but I also have truly come to realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same. We may use modern technologies to find and secure deals and
create win/wins all over the country, yet the core principles of real estate investing have not changed. Real estate - unlike stocks, bonds, securities, annuities, crypto, 401(k) accounts, or the Metaverse - is tangible and is virtually guaranteed to increase in value if you follow two simple rules: (1) buy right; and (2) hold long enough. The cash flow from others’ rent payments both pays your debt service and offers them a place to call home—a true win/win if you are considerate, ethical, and fair. Like everyone else, I hear of rent gouging and the unfairness of the real estate market toward renters, yet it truly does not have to be that way. You as the property owner can provide for your family and right social injustices through real estate by helping other families, if you have the vision to do so. This is all great news for both newbie and seasoned real estate investors. What you do not know, you can learn. And, what you learn will set you free. In the upcoming year, I will teach you how to do that very thing using tried practices coupled with modern methods most people have never heard of. Sisters, you are just getting started!
tallahassee woman | 38 | february 2023 • march 2023
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The Space at Feather Oaks
FEBRUARY 9, 2023 | 5:30-7:30 PM Women United is excited to announce the return of the Power of the Purse! Did you know most household philanthropic decisions are made by women? Join your friends for an unforgettable evening of drinks, live music, charcuterie, and laughter for a great cause. Looking for your new favorite purse? We’ve got you covered. Don’t miss the end of the event for your chance to win!
Ticket $75
Tickets include food, drinks, & a raffle ticket for your chance to win from a selection of beautiful bags donated from local boutiques including a highly sought-after Yves Saint Laurent handbag.
Additional opportunities offered to win new purse: Location |
1 for $10 | 3 for $25 | 5 for $40 | 10 for $75
The Space at Feather Oaks at 6500 Miccosukee Road in Tallahassee (3.5 miles east on Miccosukee Road from the intersection of Capital Circle NE). PRESENTED BY
Power of the Purse Advance Tickets –$75 | At the door –$85
For more information visit uwbb.org/powerofthepurse or contact angela@uwbb.org tallahassee woman | 39 | february 2023 • december 2023
2023
Women
Who Mean Business Awards
TWM will be recognizing the most inspiring and influential businesswomen in our community for the following award categories:
• • • • • •
Entrepreneur Award Innovator Award Legacy Award Rockstar Award Service Award Torchbearer Award tallahassee woman | 40 | february 2023 • march 2023
Women on Fire!
COME CELEBRATE WITH US MAY 17, 2023 11:00 AM – 1:30 PM
The Moon
1105 E. Lafayette St. Tallahassee, FL 32301 as we recognize and honor dynamic businesswomen who are “on fire” with their passion, leadership and dedication to the business community. EARLY BIRD TICKETS ARE $55 GENERAL ADMISSION $65 To purchase tickets or become a sponsor or vendor visit TALWOMAN.COM For further information or questions call (850) 893.9624
NOMINATIONS OPEN FROM FEBRUARY 6-28TH, 2023 NOMINATE A WOMAN ON FIRE AT TALWOMAN.COM
tallahassee woman | 41 | february 2023 • december 2023
ON CLOUD 9 ADVENTURES
BY REGINA LYNCH-HUDSON | PHOTOGRAPHY BY COURTLAND BIVENS III
TRAVEL
Feeling loved is essential to wellness and well-being—whether it’s soul mate love, sister-friend love, or most importantly, self-love. Valentine’s Day, a traditionally amorous holiday, is a time to channel Venus the Love Goddess─coordinating passionate adventures and activities that celebrate those we hold dear. The ultimate gift to give loved ones is quality time spent together─not impersonal pinging and texting.
Want to indulge in a Cloud 9 experience that will make hearts skip a beat? There is no more exhilarating an excursion than taking a whirlwind helicopter tour with your significant other. Dodge traffic, avoid crowds, and soar the earth below as two solitude-bound love birds. Fall head over heels in awe of city landmarks, dreamy expanses of sugar-white sand, and magical mountainous terrain. From gazing down at jagged cliffs and tumbling waterfalls to gazing into each other’s eyes, you’ll discover life from a different perspective, for a few treasured hours─ depending on the duration of your flight. If you’re lucky enough to have a private pilot ‘better-half’ at your beck and call (pinch me!), you can rent a helicopter or compact single or twin engine aircraft. Or, every tallahassee woman | 42 | february 2023 • march 2023
major city in the world offers wowing guided helicopter tours, easily booked through your travel agent or www.viator.com. Some of our most thrilling airborne tours have included scaling stunning views of turquoise seascapes throughout the Caribbean islands, marveling lush rainforests and dramatic cliffs of Kauai, Hawaii, and spanning the panoramic harbor of Charleston, South Carolina in daring doorless helicopters. For pampering pastimes that are every bit as blissful as flying the blue skies, gallop into the sunset in equestrian escapes across the globe. Frolic on horseback to the calming shores of nearby Amelia Island, Florida or faraway trails off the beaten track. A recommended exhale for those who prefer to remain grounded is kayaking, a wellness activity that boosts health and well-being, amid a stress-relieving, endorphin-inducing, aquatic atmosphere of birds and marine life. Spas also offer body-and-soul-soothing services that leave you walking on air. Whether you partake in a couple’s massage with your sweetheart or a shared spa day with the girls, reinvent rituals that deepen your cherished relationships.
Expand your clichéd definition of romance. The official 'red dress' holiday doesn’t have to mean chilling with Romeo beneath crystal chandeliers at a candlelit table with a ginormous box of chocolates. Allow Cupid’s arrow to broaden your Circle of Care. Periodically romance yourself, your partner, and friends, by treating them to bespoke experiences and considerate gestures that express adoration and appreciation. Be more creative than customary commercialized cards or flowers. Give gift certificates that open doors to untrekked territory. Throughout the year, I send methodically curated inspirational books to loved ones─choosing optimistic titles that reflect their interests and hobbies, or that challenge them to explore new horizons.
Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that according to studies: enjoys more time to travel, indulges in longer trips, and selects more extravagant travel accommodations. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas, and extracurricular activities—where like-minded Xhalers have experienced inner-exhilaration! © Contact MadameXhales: thewritepublicist@earthlink.net tallahassee woman | 43 | february 2023 • december 2023
Who Mean WHO ARE THE TWM MEN WHO MEAN BUSINESS?
WHO ARE THE TWM MEN WHO MEAN BUSINESS?
TWM is excited and proud to feature the fourth annual issue of Men Who Mean Business (MWMB) profiles. These men serve in business and the community supporting the mission of women in Tallahassee. The TWM “Men Who Mean Business” exemplify outstanding support of women through their medical and law practices, community services, non-profit agencies, philanthropic contributions, leadership, volunteerism, advocacy, employment practices and commitment. TWM Men Who Mean Business demonstrate core values that support the best interest, mission and vision of Tallahassee women.
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE MWMB! SPONSORED PROFILES DEADLINE MARCH 1, 2023 FOR
APRIL ISSUE
o l o S g n Traveli By AutumnVassell
A
re you tired of waiting on your group to book a trip? How many times have you wanted to do something, but your friends weren’t interested? Try a solo trip. Many stray from traveling alone due to concerns of loneliness and safety. When you travel alone, you travel on your terms. The experience encourages you to stretch and grow as a person. Traveling alone empowers, builds confidence, and teaches valuable skills like problem-solving. Don’t let the lack of a travel companion stop you from missing out on an amazing experience. Here are eight tips for traveling alone to ensure a wonderful experience and safe return. 1. EMBRACE YOURSELF Being alone for long periods can be daunting, but just go with it. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Try and be more sociable and approachable. Avoid the temptation of putting on your headphones and gluing your eyes to your phone whenever you have a free moment so that you can make friends and meet new people. You might learn to love your own company along the way. 2. DO YOUR HOMEWORK Take time to consider what you want from your trip and where you’re most likely to get it. While you don’t need to plan every detail of your trip, having a road map and knowing a little about the basics is good. A little research will save you time, money, and awkward situations. Also, talk to people who have already gone to your destination. Reach out to travel writers and YouTubers that live in the area you’re traveling to. They will give great advice for touristy and non-tourist things to see, do, and eat and areas to avoid. 3. SHARE TRAVEL PLANS WITH FAMILY/FRIENDS Send your travel itinerary, hotel reservation information, and details of planned activities to a family member or friend back home. Also, before a solo excursion, let the hotel staff know where you’re headed and when you expect to return. If traveling abroad, sign up for the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP). This free service allows U.S. citizens and nationals traveling and living abroad to enroll their trip with the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate. STEP enrollment ensures receipt of information from the Embassy about safety conditions in your destination country so you can make informed decisions about your travel plans. The STEP service helps the U.S. Embassy know more about your whereabouts and how to contact you in an emergency. It also helps family and friends get in
touch with you if needed. 4. LEARN LOCAL LINGO Learning a few words and phrases is worth trying before traveling solo. Knowing how to introduce yourself, start a basic conversation, order a drink, and count to ten makes all the difference. It shows locals that you are genuinely interested in learning about their culture. Learn how to say “no, thank you” in the local language and “absolutely not.” Also, learn the nonverbal gesture for “no,” which is often more effective. Note: Hostels and B&Bs are the ideal accommodation for solo travelers. With fewer guests, the proprietor often onsite, common rooms, and communal dining rooms, hostels create opportunities to connect with others that use the lingo daily. 5. SECURE YOUR VALUABLES Bring only what you need when you venture out – your phone, a credit card, some cash, an ID, and a copy of your passport. Keep these concealed in a secure bag that you can see at all times. Make sure you’ve safely saved your passport and visa details. Email yourself photos of your vital documents as a backup. 6. EXUDE CONFIDENCE Study a map of your destination. Get a sense of direction using major landmarks. This will help you explore cities happily and with greater confidence. Walking confidently and with direction is an effective technique for deterring unwanted attention. Appearing lost or confused can make you vulnerable. If you are lost, walk into a shop or restaurant and ask for directions. 7. MAKE AN EMERGENCY PLAN Ideally, you won’t face a medical issue, accident, or robbery while traveling. However, it’s smart to know where to turn if an unfortunate event occurs. Have local help numbers, such as the tourist police, saved in your phone. Knowing you have them gives you the confidence to deal with awkward situations. 8. FOR SINGLE WOMEN: WEAR A FAKE WEDDING RING Before leaving, buy a cheap ring that passes as a wedding band. This helps ward off unwanted attention from men. It’s gross that women must think of things like this, but it does help. Don’t buy anything too flashy, or you’ll attract the attention of thieves
tallahassee woman | 45 | february 2023 • december 2023
Girlfriend, Get Away from Gaslighters!
M
By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC
M I D N , Y B OD & S I P R T
ental health and wellness are key factors in work-life balance and happiness. Since COVID, women are taking self-care to another level and speaking up about their needs in relationships, at home, and in the workplace. Courageous conversations are required for courageous solutions. One popular topic worth discussing is gaslighting and how to identify the signs and navigate a plan to a safer place psychologically and emotionally. According to Robin Stern, Ph.D., “Gaslighting is the act of undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings.” Have you ever doubted yourself because of the actions or words of manipulative people in your personal or professional life regarding your ability or potential? Maybe you second-guessed a project completed after a colleague or supervisor cast doubt on you. If those resonate with you, you may be the target of gaslighting by an abusive person or people who pretend to have your best interest at heart. These manipulative people use psychological tactics to question your relevance, success, accomplishments, common sense, or sanity – the validity of your own thoughts. Maintaining equanimity, documenting each situation, and taking self-care seriously is critical. Workplace resilience is not a notion but a survival skill. Workplace resilience requires a self-care plan, especially when institutional gaslighting and intentional distortion of reality and facts exist. This is a pattern or system of denial of abuse, marginalizing the whistleblower or calculated retaliation. Every complaint is explained away or minimized by the abuser and there is zero accountability. The
power differential may further contribute to the gaslighting phenomenon, and you may be the target of a saboteur. In personal relationships, “friends” or partners may be deliberately deceitful, demeaning, sarcastic, and downright rude. There are people in the darkness trying to pull you in with them; choose not to go. You have the power to change your situation and know that you are worthy of happiness, respect, compassion, and authentic relationships.
Strategies for Dealing with Gaslighting
• Don’t let others warp your reality. Stand firm and speak your truth. • Recognize the minimizing, dismissive behaviors, and patterns. • Don’t entertain disrespectful conversations. • Seek professional help from a licensed counselor, psychotherapist, or psychologist. • Document the behaviors and collect evidence. • Maintain your confidence in what events transpired; how things evolved. • Surround yourself with a support system of friends, trusted advisors, and mentors. • Make a change and remove yourself from the relationship or job. • Take the high road and do not react but observe. Actions speak loudly. • Engage consistently in mental, spiritual, and physical self-care and show up for yourself. • Reflect, renew, rethink, and recharge.
tallahassee woman | 46 | february 2023 • march 2023
GUILTY PLEASURES By Jane Marks
I
don’t know about you, but this past week I’ve had the chance to slow down, relax, and indulge in multiple guilty pleasures: all-day snacking, binge-watching, belting out songs on the radio, procrastination, and sleeping late—to name a few. We feel such pleasure and fun when we let ourselves “just go with it.” But too often, we feel guilty and wish we had been more productive or purposeful with our time.
The truth is that guilty pleasures have a key role in our self-care. Consider this: 1. Guilty pleasures like binge-watching help us to relax, unwind, and reconnect with our inner child. Activities like reading help us find meaning and insight. And let’s not forget the connection and community we feel when it comes to our shows— whether it’s Game of Thrones, the Hallmark Channel, or football.
singing, whether in the car, in the shower, or simply aloud. Science points to increased immunity, lung functioning, stress relief, and mental alertness. 3. Procrastination, or simply being by yourself doing nothing, can inspire creativity and break a cycle of worry. So, not only is it a form of stress management, but it can also nurture creativity. 4. Although snacking gets a bad rap, it can be good for you. It can keep you full, energized, and hydrated and provide a boost of energy. Snacking can help the body recover from exercise and help with blood sugar management. 5. Sleep “snacks” reduce fatigue, increase alertness, improve mood, and so much more. So, what are we waiting for? This week, let’s make sure we indulge in some of life’s simple pleasures— without guilt.
2. There are many wellness perks when it comes to
tallahassee woman | 47 | february 2023 • december 2023
JANE MARKS WRITER Jane Marks is a licensed psychotherapist "life coach" with 50+ years of experience specializing in child and adolescent behavior. She is a motivational speaker/ lecturer focusing on mental health and adolescents.
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
LOVEactuallyis... ELIZABETH RICCI & NEIL RAMBANA BY: TWM STAFF | PHOTOGRAPHY BY TI ADORO STUDIOS
tallahassee woman | 48 | february 2023 • march 2023
W
hat is your love language and how does it manifest? We met in law school when we were “young, scrappy, and hungry”. We were both raised by single mothers and understand each other well. We’ve been practicing law together for 22 years now and just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary while on a trip to Cuba (we love to travel). Years ago, a friend’s young wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our friend said he knew she was dying when she started telling him that she loved him. We thought that was sad so try to use all our opportunities to show our love, respect, attention, appreciation, and empathy. ER: We hold hands and say “love you” when leaving a room or hanging up the phone. I know Neil genuinely wants me to succeed. He is constantly nominating
me for awards and talks me up to family, friends and clients. When I competed as a dancer in a fundraiser last year, I could not find a professional dancer to be my partner. Neil stepped in (literally), learned the dance, and was my competition partner. Neil is attentive. He opens the door for me every time we get in the car. Last May we passed a fish market. I mentioned that it was stone crab season. He surprised me that night with bags of fresh stone crab and shrimp. (I found out later that he did not have his car keys and had to walk in the heat about a half mile each way to get to the store!) NSR: Whether one of us has a court win or a or a parent win, we make sure to praise each other. We also show our mutual respect by asking each other for opinions and advice. Elizabeth compliments me freely,
especially on how I dress. She’s thoughtful, too. I mentioned in passing that I wanted to assemble a mechanical puzzle. She quietly ordered me one and gave it to me a few days later. Even though she doesn’t enjoy cooking, she learned to make one of my favorite Jamaican dishes-oxtail. When I got my pilot’s license, she took a discovery flight to learn more about my hobby. What is your secret to success? We work hard and play hard as a team. We take risks, go big, and live by the Golden Rule. Apparently, both have the same core values. Could you say something about how your core values keep you strong and in love? ER: Of course, we have differing opinions on some issues-nothing major. While I cherish quiet, he watches TV in surround sound. I don’t eat meat. He likes meat and potatoes. NSR: We share what’s important to us like political and religious views. Having the same approach to parenting and money makes it easy to trust each other to make decisions for our family and joint career. What’s your collaborative definition of love? Our love is a selfless commitment, trust, respect, deep connection, and mutual affection that makes us proud of each other and happy to be together.
tallahassee woman | 50 | february 2023 • march 2023
JUNIOR LEAGUE OF TALLAHASSEE Sponsorship Opportunities
GOLF CLASSIC 2023
MARCH 24, 2023 SOUTHWOOD GOLF CLUB
REGISTER HERE
$475 per Team
Premier - $5,000 (1 Available) Ace - $2,000 (3 Available) Birdie - $1,000 (4 Available) Par - $725 (14 Available) Hole - $275 (14 Available)
The association of Junior Leagues International is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. Charity id 13-1656639. All donations are tax-deductible. tallahassee tallahassee woman woman || 51 51 || february december2023 2022• •december january 2023 2023
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