Avoiding Caregiver Burnout

The Charlotte Jewish News, January 2023

By Julie Loftis, JFS Marketing Specialist

Many of us assist older, sick, or disabled family members and friends every day. We know we are helping, but we don’t think of ourselves as caregivers. We are glad to do this and feel rewarded by it, but if the demands are heavy, over time we can also become exhausted and stressed. What is a caregiver, and how do you know if you identify as one?

You might be a caregiver if you do any of the following for a friend or loved one:

- Buy groceries, cook, clean the house

- Help them get dressed, take a shower, or take their medication properly.

- Schedule their medical appointments, provide transportation to those appointments, or communicate with their doctors

- Spend time while you’re at work handling a crisis or making plans for them

- Act as the designated “on call” contact for any problems

- Communicate regularly with care staff and medical personnel if they live in assisted living

- Worry and become emotionally drained about your loved one and their situation

- Manage care from another city or state for your loved ones, (long-distance caregiving), which carries its own set of complications

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC), estimate that more than 65.7 million Americans serve as informal caregivers either to a child with special needs or an adult who needs help. These statistics suggest that you most likely are already or will be a caregiverfor a loved one.

Being a caregiver is not easy. Most people don’t recognize the significant impact it has on their own lives. Caregivers often report a lack of self-care including sleep deprivation, poor eating habits, failure to exercise, failure to stay in bed when ill, and postponement of or failure to make medical appointments for themselves. According to caregiver.org, “Family caregivers of any age are less likely than non-caregivers to practice preventive healthcare and self-care behavior. Regardless of age, sex, race, and ethnicity, caregivers report problems attending to their own health and well-being while managing caregiving responsibilities … Caregiving can be an emotional roller coaster.

On the one hand, caring for your family member demonstrates love and commitment and can be a very rewarding personal experience. The flip side is exhaustion, worry, inadequate resources, and continuous care demands that are enormously stressful. Caregivers are more likely to have a chronic illness, namely high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a tendency to be overweight. Studies show that an estimated 46 % to 59 % of caregivers are clinically depressed.”

Over time, caregiver burnout happens when caregivers have reached a state of such exhaustion that it becomes difficult to carry on with a caring attitude. Body, mind, and spirit are so worn out that the caregiver becomes negative though they used to be upbeat and uncaring though they used to have concern. They’re squeezed dry and perhaps unable to experience positive emotions. An afternoon off or a massage isn’t enough to provide relief from this kind of burnout. It can take years for full recovery even after the person is no longer in the caregiver role. There are aspects of caregiver burnout that are similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which also takes time and attention to go into remission, much less resolve. If you’re not there yet, then it’s vital you prevent caregiver burnout.

For caregivers, self-care is a must, not a luxury. Here a few things they can do for themselves and their own well-being:

- Accept that you have limits, and be realistic about what you can accomplish within those limits.

- Accept that you need help from others, and then secure that support.

- Confide in trusted friends, family, or helping professionals.

- Seek out and work with a coach or therapist to learn and regularly use tools for self-care.

- Join a caregiver support group, especially if it has a skill-building component.

- Get enough exercise, rest, sleep, and eat healthy food.

- Keep up with your own medical care, especially when you’re sick.

- Set aside time for yourself.

- Find ways to laugh, keeping your sense of humor. Accept that finding it hard to provide care is normal, and not a character flaw.

To truly access the support you need you must first actually recognize and identify yourself as a “caregiver.” Jewish Family Services (JFS) offers many services and resources to support you on your caregiver journey, including experienced, caring, master’s level professionals, and connections to community resources.

JFS offers a Caregiver Support Group. The group meets on the third Thursday of each month at 4:30 p.m. via Zoom. The next group is January 19. The group meets in-person quarterly. Whether you are a long-distance or local caregiver, our welcoming support group can provide a safe space for you to speak with others about your situation. Contact JFS for the Zoom link, to learn about resources or find ways to reduce your stress level and get the compassionate support of others who understand your circumstances. Call (704) 3646594 or email info@jfscharlotte.org for more information.