The Pride LA 11.15.19 by THE PRIDE LOS ANGELES

11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS!ANGELES⚫ Friendsgiving Special 1

INSIDE: Thanksgiving at the Center See pages 9-12 How WeHo Mayor Celebrates Thanksgiving COLUMN: LGBTQ+ Family Vacation – Las Vegas Holiday Edition

ISSUE NUMBER 25, VOLUME 3 | NOVEMBER 15 – 28, 2019

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE – November 20 –

MORE ON PAGE 5

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LOS ANGELES

11.15 – 11.28.2019

11.15 – 11.28.2019 COMMUNITY

LOS ANGELES

⚫ 3

VETERANS DAY CELEBRATION

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

Documentary Honors Los Angeles' LGBTQ+ Vets

In honor of Veterans Day, some LGBTQ+ Senior Veterans at the Los Angeles LGBT Center shared their stories and experiences serving as LGBTQ+ service members in a documentary short film “Our Service, Our Stories.” The film, which premiered in a screening on Friday, Nov. 8, explores the lives and unique perspectives of LGBT veterans before, during and after their military service, including Vietnam, Desert Storm, Afghanistan and current military outposts. “For many of the participating veterans, it was their first time to position and hold a video camera or use digital editing software. This transformative project also helped them discover their artistic voices and express them to the world,” said the Center’s Director of Senior Services Kiera Pollock. “We salute our participants for committing to this creative project. Not only are they veterans, but they can now call themselves filmmakers!” The 12 LGBT veterans aged 50+ began learning documentary filmmaking techniques—ranging from creative direction to interviewing and editing skills—in July from

award-winning filmmaker Andrew Putschoegl, according to a press release. The participants interviewed fellow servicemembers during a recent Veteran Stand Down event hosted by the Center. A $16,200 grant from the California Arts Council, as part of its Veterans in the Arts program, helped to finance the film. One participant was Warren Tymony, who said that he had a difficult time serving in the military as LGBTQ+. “My most vivid memory was the Military Sexual Trauma that was perpetrated on me by my Training Sergeant,” Tymony said. “I was just 18 years old, an innocent and trusting kid. All of that was shattered.” VA uses the term “military sexual trauma” (MST) to refer to sexual assault or harassment experienced during military service, according to the Veterans Affairs website. MST includes any sexual activity that you are involved with against your will. Data from the VA’s national screening program reveals that about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 100 men respond “yes,” that they experienced MST, when screened by their VA provider. Tymony said that after experiencing MST, he used his LGBTQ+ identity to be discharged.

“I set up a gay scenario, let it be discovered, and received an administrative discharge known as General Under Honorable Conditions,” Tymony said. “Upon leaving military service, I discovered the LGBTQ community, and my place in it. I became an activist championing LGBTQ and minority civil rights causes.” Tymony said that MST trauma had long-lasting affects. “In my case the MST trauma produced a two-fold result: [First,] Mental health issues, particularly PTSD symptoms, affected me to make negative, self-destructive choices in my adult life,” he said. “[Secondly,] Based on the anger resulting from the attack, I became a very strong, fearless individual willing to take on all comers and circumstances in my professional life and became a caretaker to those who were not able to defend themselves.” According to the website, the VA provides free treatment for any physical or mental health conditions related to a Veteran’s experiences of MST. No documentation of the MST experience or VA disability compensation rating is required. Some Veterans can receive this free MST-related care even if they

Photo: Facebook.

are not eligible for other VA care. “I am pleased that the military has changed its stance to reject LGBTQ service members as a vital part of our country's defensive forces,” Tymony said. “Regarding how far we still need to go, current LGBQ service members on duty should realize that their right to be themselves is guaranteed under current military policy. (Unfortunately, this right is not given to our transgender military brothers and sisters). We must continue to fight for our right to be our authentic selves in these times because those who came before you fought to guarantee that right for you. Be courageous, be strong, be fearless.”

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11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

NEWS

INTERSEX

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

UPDATE YOUR RESUME!

Fighting Ignorance, Poverty with Job Fair for Trans, Intersex Folks

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“Thriving in Los Angeles as a person of trans, non-binary, or intersex experience is challenging,” Eden Anaï Luna, Manager of the Transgender Economic Empowerment Project, said. According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, nearly one-third of trans people are living in poverty, compounded by the statistic that they experience a 15 percent unemployment rate which is three times higher than the unemployment rate in the U.S. population (5 percent). The unemployment rate among trans people of color is worse—four times higher than the nation’s unemployment rate. Luna said that there are many intersecting socioeconomic factors that affect the unemployment and poverty rates for trans, non-binary and intersex folks. She noted the lack of legal protections on the basis of gender identity and gender expression on a federal level. There is also a level of federally-sanctioned discrimination against gender diverse people that encourages individual states and companies to continually perpetuate discriminatory hiring and firing practices. On Thursday, November 7, the Los Angeles LGBT Center will hosted the 11th annual job and resources fair specifically tailored for trans, non-binary, and intersex people at the Center’s Village at Ed Gould Plaza. The free fair was hosted by the Center’s Transgender Economic Empowerment Project (TEEP) in partnership with programmatic funders City of West Hollywood and Citi Community Development, as well as community partners Trans Can Work, JVS SoCal, and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. “The City of West Hollywood is pleased to partner with the Transgender Economic Empowerment Project in this movement for economic development,” said City of West Hollywood Mayor John D’Amico. “We encourage all companies to hire trans community members and expand the visibility of their workforces.” Luna said that the annual job fair is the bridge to economic stability, success and ultimately dignity in a workplace for a person of these experiences. “At other job fairs, employers often presume that the jobseekers whom they are interacting with identifies as cisgender and heterosexual,” Luna said. “At our job fair, we aim to not only dispel that myth that gender diverse professionals do not exist. Rather, we celebrate and welcome diversity as the new normal.” Since launching in 2008, the job and resources fair has attracted more than 1,500 potential candidates with hundreds of them eventually obtaining employment. This year,

40 top-tier corporations and companies are anticipated to participate in this year’s fair. “Each year our participating businesses continues to grow. This year, however, we had to be more selective with the registration process. We have gathered employers who have demonstrated their commitment to support inclusivity practices on state and national scales. We are certain this will continue to set the standard to inclusive hiring practices across the country,” Luna said. Employers conducted interviews on site and were ready to hire the best candidates. Job seekers were also be able to access resources at the fair such as one-on-one résumé reviews; an interviewing skills workshop; and a photo booth for professional headshots. Professional clothing, haircuts, hairstyling, and makeup were provided in preparation for the professional headshots. Participants were also able to download their headshots on USB flash drives donated by Grindr and ICM Partners. “Access to job opportunities is a fundamental part of financial stability,” said James Alva, South California Market Manager, Citi Community Development. “By supporting the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Transgender Economic Empowerment Project, we aim to expand access to critical resources that boost long-term economic success for transgender, non-binary, and intersex individuals.” Due to ignorance, trans, non-binary, and intersex people often have to live in the very margins of society, Luna said. “Stereotypes crumble once employers begin to meet gender diverse people and realize that gender diverse people are just like everyone else,” Luna said. “At the Los Angeles LGBT Center, we work to address this issue and bridge the gaps between gender diverse professionals and inclusive employers, and we hope this continues to inspire other states and employers to join the movement.”

11.15 – 11.28.2019

COMMUNITY LONG BEACH

LOS ANGELES

⚫ 5

IN MEMORIAM

` ⚫ BY STAFF REPORTER

LGBTQ Center of Long Beach Honors Trans Day of Remembrance So far this year, at least 22 transgender or gender non-conforming people have been violently killed (though Human Rights Campaign suspects under-reporting). November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance. It is a day to memorialize the hundreds of trans folks lost to anti-transgender violence worldwide. The LGBTQ Center of Long Beach will be joining over 100 cities worldwide in honoring the lives lost at a memorial at Harvey Milk Promenade Park at 6:30 p.m. “The LGBTQ Center Long Beach is committed to providing support and resources to transgender, gender nonconforming, and nonbinary people who have experienced violence in our community through our affirming anti-violence services,” the Center’s Executive Director Porter Gilbert said in an interview. The first Transgender Day of Remembrance was held 20 years ago to honor transgender murder victim Rita Hester, whose case has yet to be solved. Nearly all hate crimes targeting transgender people were violent, according to the latest Hate Crimes Report from the Los Angeles County Commission on Human Relations. 92 percent of these hate crimes target transgender women. Furthermore, this year transgender folks have been under assault by the federal government, most recently by the Department of Health and Human Services, which has moved to remove protections from discrimination in healthcare.

Photo: Courtesy.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance will take place Wednesday, November 20 at 6:30 PM at Harvey Milk Promenade Park

This year’s event will feature acclaimed singer Jaila Simms, remarks from several staff members of The Center, information available services to the transgender community in Long Beach, and a reading of names of transgender people murdered in the last year. Beverages and pastries will be available to all attendees and all-gender restrooms will be available at Hamburger Mary’s and Groundwork Fitness. The Transgender Day of Remembrance will take place Wednesday, November 20 at 6:30 p.m. at Harvey Milk Promenade Park (3rd and Promenade). The Transgender Day of Remembrance is free and open to the public and fully accessible with on site ASL interpretation. This year’s event is hosted will be hosted with the in-kind support of the Office of Mayor Robert Garcia, Berlin by Portfolio Coffeehouse, Century Villages at Cabrillo, and the Water Replenishment District of Southern California.

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11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

CULTURE PEOPLE

` ⚫ BY AIDAN PARK

IN MEMORIUM

How Lou Sullivan Created His Own Future Newly-released diaries of the trans icon give us something to think about this Transgender Day of Remembrance.

When Gwendolyn Ann Smith started the Transgender Day of Remembrance in 1999, she wanted to commemorate all the people we’d lost. Not just in the year previous, but for decades leading up to the new millennium. After spending so much time combing through archives of obituaries trying to find past cases of trans deaths (often described in the press as “men in dresses” and “bearded ladies”), she wanted to create something lasting that would honor the dead in the way they hadn’t been honored in life. Today, we use TDOR to call the world, and ourselves, to account for the terrible crimes against trans folks that are com-

PRODUCTION MANAGER AMY PATTON

mitted almost daily. We’ve lost at least 22 transwomen to violence this year alone, and we continue to lose members of the community to violence, homelessness, and overdoses due to a lack of community resources and basic civil protections available to trans folks. But let’s step back from the terrible sadness that comes with TDOR to think, for a moment, about the good things that have happened, the ways in which we’ve been able to make progress for the community. The ways in which we’ve been able to find, and hold, and encapsulate joy. The activist Lou Sullivan’s diaries, which came out in selected form from Nightboat Books last month, is one of the most joyful events anyone in the community can remember for quite some time. When Sullivan, who for years was responsible for creating and distributing FTM International, the newsletter and global community for trans men, died of HIV-related complications in 1991, the world lost an incredible fighter, artist, and thinker. In the release of his diaries, we’re able to get at least a piece of

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San Francisco in the pre-AIDS era, full of bathhouses, late-night trysts, and anonymous sex. Sullivan fought his entire life not just to break away from his early Christian identity and be embraced as a man, but to be seen and accepted as a specifically queer man. In a world that barely knew what the word “trans” meant, this was quite a feat. Through his tales of raucous sex, parties, teenage foibles, and fashion experiments, we see a portrait of someone who was able to bend the world to his desires, rather than being broken by it. This alone is something to celebrate. This Trans Day of Remembrance, if you’re in need of a little joy, a little reconnection with life, a little reminder of how we can fight for our own happiness, this is a volume to pick up. Leave despair behind for a few hours, and read about someone who, against all odds and with no help from anyone, became the purest, finest version of himself.

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In the first season of the original “L Word,” art plays a bizarrely large role. For a show so obsessed with the idea of looking, hiding, and being seen, it makes sense that the L.A. art scene, even in the early 2000s when the show opens, should be the backdrop for so many discussions, trysts, and trials. But the dominant feeling about “The L Word,” that groundbreaking, challengingly dated piece of work, is that for all its attempts to portray a true rainbow of queer life in L.A., it doesn’t do a great job of actually seeing its characters. From the horrid portrayal of Max, the show’s only trans guy with significant screen time, to the hatchet recon job done to Jenny, there’s a lot to find fault with. But let’s get one thing straight: the original “L Word” knew queer art. Characters paid lip service to Lisa Yuskavage, Kiki Smith, and the legendary queer artist Catherine Opie in the first season. By the second, some of Opie’s decade-defining prints would start to be used in the show’s opening credits. Pictures of female-bodied folks with moustaches, breastfeeding butch mothers, and adolscent boys looking for a home within their gender became an unexpected focus of the show’s opening chorus with its self-conscious provocateur stance. Opie’s work was used as a kind of ideological stand-in for the show itself and what it thought it was doing. “See?” It seemed to say. “Look at us. We don’t care about the rules. We’re kissing in the glow of the men’s bathroom stall. We’re fucking up the patriarchy. We’re doing this.” Sadly, for a generation of young queers, this was their first, and potentially only, exposure to Opie’s work. It was used for shock value during a time when the idea of a cis woman with a moustache was considered daringly outre. But shock

Photo: Regen Projects.

Chicken from ‘Being and Having’ (1991).

value isn’t what Opie’s work boils down to. The L.A. legend has been photographing a complex array of gender expression for decades. Her solo show at MOCA in 1997, from which “The L Word” borrows its opening tableau, brought her photographic sense of exploration into sharper focus for the masses. Today, ideas about gender are changing rapidly as older norms become outdated. A new generation of art viewers (not to mention “L-Word” consumers) are starting to expect more from representation that a barely-there nod to drag kings or a two-episode arc about HIV. Opie, from her corner of the art world, paved the way for that change. We owe her a lot more than a pop culture cameo. Without her vision of a truly genderless, or gender-complicated America, we might be just as much in the dark as we were back in 2002, when the radical idea of two girls kissing without a male audience had just started to take hold of the national imagination.

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11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

from your friends at

⚫ 9

Welcome to the Pride LA’s Thanksgiving Holiday special.

“

For many people in the LGBTQ+ community, the holidays can be especially tough because many are isolated and/or rejected from their family of origin. Many LGBTQ+ Seniors do not have partners or children, or the financial means and resources to travel to visit family. LGBTQ+ men and women have had to create their own families from within the community. It is in these support systems that people find connection. We also know that a higher percentage of LGBTQ+ seniors are isolated and alone, so the holidays can reinforce those feelings of loneliness and isolation.

”

Tripp Mills,

Deputy Director of our Senior Services Los Angeles LGBT Center

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The holiday season can be a stressful and downright triggering time for some in the LGBTQ+ community. From dodging prodding relatives, to avoiding explosive arguments, there are many reasons folks in the queer community choose to celebrate Thanksgiving with their chosen family. Thus, the widely-popular concept of Friendsgiving. In this special, we feature local community events at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, how the mayor of West Hollywood celebrates and the premiere of a travel column, “LGBTQ+ Family Vacation,” Las Vegas holiday edition. In this feature op-ed, editor Amy Patton skips the traditional celebrations entirely and takes her family to Las Vegas to discover just how family-friendly it is for the queer community, during a holiday to boot. Check the PrideLA.com for full features. How ever you end up celebrating the impending holiday, season just remember there is community out there that cares!

⚫ COLUMN

TRAVELING

11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

LGBTQ+ FAMILY VACATION

` ⚫ COLUMN BY AMY PATTON

PREVIEW: LGBTQ+ Family Vacation Takes on Las Vegas! Along with the traditional warm and fuzzy feelings of family and tradition, Thanksgiving evokes the best feeling of all: time off. No work, no school, no Girl Scout meetings. However, for many folks in the LGBTQ+ community, holidays can be difficult to navigate with unsupportive relatives and innapropriate questioning. So, many queer folks opt to celebrate with chosen family at “Friendsgiving” events. Luckily, I am personally surrounded by an incredible support system filled with love and good intentions. Yet — I am running away for the holidays, and I am taking my partner and daughter with me! We opted to ditch the classic traditions and take our little family on the road for the first installment of “LGBTQ+ Family Getaway.” The premise of this reoccurring column feature is simple: find out which cities are feasible for LGBTQ+ families to travel to. New cities can be stressful to take any children to, but compounded with the constant dormant fear of queer safety in new spaces, weekend getaways can feel a little daunting with a little one in tow. So we’re here to do the research for you! First stop? Viva Las Gaygas! “The Las Vegas LGBTQ+ community enjoys support from every level. Major hospitality corporations score 100 on the HRC CEI,” Ross White from the Las Vegas LGBTQ Center said in an interview. “Most of our federal elected officials are supportive. Our convention and visitors bureau provides marketing outreach to LGBTQ tourists. We are the host city to many LGBTQ conventions and festivals.” TRAVEL/TRANSPORTATION: From the greater Los Angeles area, there are a few options for getting to Las Vegas: flying, coach buses and driving. Each option has its perks. Flying, of course, is the quickest and arguably easiest mode of travel. From LAX to Las Vegas Airport takes just over five hours to get there. Tickets on average range from $50 to $80, which seems not so bad… until you factor in buying tickets for three (or more if your family is bigger!). So that price tag adds up pretty quickly for a long weekend. Flying is out. Coach busses are always a fun option (if you are a young 20-something-year-old). Tickets cost $20-30 one way – so double it if you want to go home at the end of the trip. Travel time is anywhere from five to seven hours, depending on what time of day you leave. Driving yourself is only marginally faster, but the biggest perk is the price tag. The cost of gas to drive to Las Vegas will be roughly $50 one way, but that’s to get all three of us there, rather than the price of one ticket on a plane or bus. So driving it is! Driving your family for six hours into the desert may seem daunting, especially depending on the age of your little one(s). But we plan to go later in the evening to A) beat traffic and B) help time pass faster for our snoozing 8-year-old.

Once in Las Vegas, the name of the game is getting to/from and around the Strip. Just over 3 miles, not everyone wants to walk a 5k repeatedly all weekend. Have you ever tried to force cardio on an unwilling kid? It doesn’t go well. Rideshare apps are definitely an option for those staying in hotels just off the strip. They are convenient and plentiful, but can add up quickly for a frugal family! Plus, then you have to decide whether to lug a carseat around Las Vegas for the day or risk your child’s safety in the rideshare. The transportation option we are most excited about is the Las Vegas Monorail. A new experience for all three of us, it almost seems like too good of a deal. It runs along the backside of the entire strip, with seven different stops. Traveling at up to 50 miles per hour, it is certainly faster than walking. Prices range from $5 per ticket, to $13 for a day pass (a steal for those with a busy itinerary). For more information, visit https://tix.lvmonorail.com/purchase DINING: Somehow, the budget for food while on vacation never seems to be big enough. The longer you are one vacation and the more mouths you have to feed are all very important factors to consider. The first decision we made when looking into this trip was finding a hotel with a kitchenette. That way we are able to make some of the simpler meals, like breakfast or sandwiches, and save our money for the fancy buffets! Another good idea when looking into hotels is see if they offer complementary breakfast. Why pay for Egg McMuffins three days in a row? You feel sluggish and wasteful. Another important question to address when traveling during the holidays (especially one largely centered around food): where to eat Thanksgiving Day? Surprisingly, a lot of restaurants are hosting delicious-looking

Thanksgiving Dinners for their guests. Considering how flashy and fabulous much of Las Vegas is, we can only imagine how Sin City dresses up Turkey Day. For those looking for a casual and/or non-traditional meal (after all, you are already celebrating Thanksgiving in a non-traditional location), Guy Fieri’s El Burro Borracho is serving a unique Thanksgiving menu, including mole verde braised turkey and pumpkin empenadas. Or, theres the more familiar fare at STK, a frequenter of Las Vegas Pride located at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. The classic steakhouse is offering roasted organic turkey breast, confit thighs, cranberry, sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, and foie gras apple stuffing. For the most important course, dessert, save room for pumpkin pie with spiced chantilly, candied pepitas and salted caramel. Prices are $65 per adult, $32 for children 12 and under, and $15 for dessert). YUM! Still worried about bringing the rugrats? Have no fear: “All families are welcome to celebrate Thanksgiving at STK's various locations. In addition to excellent food, both holiday specials and classics, STK provides a unique vibe dining experience,” Blaire Ritter, a STK representative, said in an interview. “The Las Vegas location will also be offering a kid's menu so that all our guests (big and small) can enjoy their holiday favorites.” Fun fact for readers who have no intention of going to Las Vegas for this delicious food: STK has a Los Angeles location too! For more information, visit https://stksteakhouse.com. ENTERTAINMENT: As we all know — the real reason to vacation in Las Vegas is all the fun things to do! Bringing the whole family may seem to limit your options, but trust me, there is more than enough wholesome fun for everyone. For example, MGM Grand has mastered fun for the family, from the Shark Reef Aquarium

at Mandalay Bay, to Siegfried & Roy’s Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat at The Mirage, to (my favorite) the Adventuredome at Circus Circus. And the bet part of all? There are casinos just a few steps away if you get the chance to sneak off for a moment! For more information, visit each hotel’s website for the individual attraction. For Mandalay Bay: https://mandalaybay.mgmresorts.com/en.html, for the Mirage: https://mirage.mgmresorts. com/en.html, for Circus Circus: https://circuscircus.mgmresorts.com/en.html. Perhaps you are looking for slightly more enriching fun for your kids? That’s where the Smith Center comes in! My family are all big fans of the arts and museums. Naturally, we want to check out the local theatre. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” will be the current production when we are in town, a perfect way to further the holiday season. This is one of my personal favorite movies (any iteration!), so it will be very exciting to see it come to life, while sharing the magic of live production with my daughter. “The Smith Center welcomes all families, we consider ourselves Las Vegas’ living room where guests can enjoy the very best of Broadway, Dance and Theater,” Smith Center representative Taylor Pickle said in an interview. “Aside from our premiere programming we also have a robust education department that provides dozens upon dozens of student matinees, free of charge, to students throughout the school year. It’s wonderful to see all these young faces enter through the doors of The Smith Center and experience the arts.” Running from November 26 to December 1, those interested in attending can visit https://www.thesmithcenter. com/ for more information. A trip to Las Vegas is also the perfect time to discover the Las Vegas Discovery Children’s Museum! Considered the top-rated interactive museum, it is a 3-story museum with nine different exhibits – a must-go destination for families visiting Las Vegas. Most recently, the Museum will be gearing up for the holidays with a “Nutcracker” ballet exhibit (November 29 – December 6) and winter activities, including creating their own snow globe from December 7 – 13. For more information about current exhibits, visit https:// www.discoverykidslv.org/ Thanksgiving is nearing, and with plans like this, we couldn’t be more excited. For families nervous to take extended trips with their young children: just do it.You won’t regret it. “Las Vegas is an international destination for tourism and business conferences,” White said. “We welcome over 45 million visitors from all over the world every year.The community in Southern Nevada is considered a safe and inclusive travel destination for everyone.” Are you ready to be one of millions enjoying all that Las Vegas can offer queer families? Check back in early December for a review of our LGBTQ+ Family Vacation!

11.15 – 11.28.2019 COMMUNITY

WEST HOLLYWOOD

LOS ANGELES

⚫ 11

THE MAYOR’S PLATE

` ⚫ BY STAFF REPORTER

WeHo Mayor D’Amico: ‘Create Your Own Traditions’

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, time is going to fly by before we know it. But holidays are all about slowing down, appreciating what you have and loving your close ones. The Pride LA caught up with West Hollywood Mayor John D’Amico to see just what he’s up to. Check it out: What are your favorite Thanksgiving traditions? My favorite part about Thanksgiving is that it is a distinctly American holiday and everyone is invited. Does your family have anything fun or silly they like to do each year? Keith and I typically leave the country for Thanksgiving. To spend time away enjoying each other and the big world out there and it helps give me a perspective about America and what we find important as a country. What is your favorite Thanksgiving side dish? Laughter What is your favorite type of pie? (Cherry, no maybe apple, or pumpkin, or chocolate pecan, no, cherry, unless there’s banana cream, yes, cherry.) Cherry Can you comment on the trend of “Friendsgiving” (celebrating Thanks-

COMMUNITY

LOS ANGELES

giving with friends or chosen family) in the LGBTQ+ community? I’ve been celebrating “Friendsgivings” since I came out in 1981. My family is terrific but I prefer to spend my holidays with my chosen family soaking up their love and showing my gratitude. Is West Hollywood doing any specific holiday celebrations for the LGBTQ+ community this year? There are several community based celebrations in the city including • The C.I.T.Y. x1 Youth Group 2019 Holiday Dinner for LGBT Youth in the Hollywood area. Our flagship event, "The Big Feast", will feature a Disney theme! This Thanksgiving tradition will service over 200 youth on Sunday night, November 24, 2019 at Hollywood Banquet Hall (5214 Sunset Blvd. LA, CA 90027). Free for youth. • The Abbey holds a celebration for $27 per person, and • For even more fun try the Laugh Factory (just outside WH) for a hilarious good time, or • If you want a more casual scene, the Sunset Strip Cantina is offering an all-you-can-eat Thanksgiving dinner from 4 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. No reservations necessary. Cost is $6.95 per person. • And for a total time warp, the Rainbow Bar encapsulates the feel of a late-80s rock venue.The

neighborhood joint is offering an all-you-can-eat holiday menu. Soak up the tunes and feast on traditional bites for a unqiue Thanksgiving on the Sunset Strip. For reservations, call 323-936-9086. Cost is $19.95 per person. Is there anything you want to tell

the LGBTQ+ community that might not feel as though they have the power or support they need? Create your own traditions. It’s more fun, less stressful and you’ll 100% have better stories to tell at the watercooler the Monday after thanksgiving.

HOLIDAYS AT THE CENTER

` ⚫ BY STAFF REPORTER

Friendsgiving for LGBTQ+ Seniors at LA LGBT Center

David Alvarez and Bill Duckworth at last year’s Thanksgiving Dinner.

Photos: Courtesy Los Angeles LGBT Center.

The Los Angeles LGBT Center Senior Services is hosting a Thanksgiving Day event for its participants at its Triangle Square Senior Apartments. “We do this to provide our LGBT seniors a safe and warm place to spend the Thanksgiving holiday, where they feel comfortable to be who they are as LGBT men & women,” Deputy Director of Senior Services Tripp Mills said. It’s about creating a safe space for our diverse community.” The Los Angeles LGBT Center took over the annual event in 2014. Previously, Metropolitan Community Church had been hosting the holiday dinner since 2007. Mills says that attendees can expect a “wonderful hot meal,” including turkey, stuffing, salad, desserts, tea, lemonade and more. For many people in the LGBTQ+ community, the holidays can be especially tough because many are isolated and/or rejected from their family of origin,” Mills said. “Many LGBTQ+ Seniors do not have partners or children, or the financial means and resources to travel to visit family. LGBTQ+ men and women have had to create their own families from within the community. It is in these support systems that

people find connection. We also know that a higher percentage of LGBTQ+ seniors are isolated and alone, so the holidays can reinforce those feelings of loneliness and isolation.” On Saturday, November 23, the Center will host a potluck event at the new Senior Center called “Friendsgiving.” On Thanksgiving Day, the Center is hosting a “traditional Thanksgiving dinner,” with seatings at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. for about 150 seniors. The dinner works with local organizations, including Metropolitan Community Church, Gay Men’s Chorus and the LGBT Center, to provide food and volunteers for the event. This is not a public event; it is open to registered Senior Services participants at the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

⚫ COMMUNITY FAMILY

11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

FAMILY FEUDS

` ⚫ BY STAFF REPORTER

SURVIVING FAMILY THANKSGIVING DINNER

to parents regarding practices that promote their child’s health and well-being. • If you are anxious about potential confrontations with family members, make a plan to stay safe. If you are traveling to visit family and can afford it, stay in a hotel, or with friends so you have a refuge if needed. • If you are not out to family and friends, HRC’s “Coming Out” resources provide valuable information, including how to make a decision that factors in your safety. • Remember, you don’t have to spend the entire week or weekend with your family. Sometimes a shorter visit is best for all. It’s okay if you choose to spend time with your family of choice where you know you can feel accepted and affirmed for who you are.

The upcoming holiday season evokes a wide range of emotional friction for the LGBTQ+ community. The Human Rights Campaign frequently receives inquiries in regards to handling uncomfortable situations with family members at holiday events, including class of religion, discussing sexual orientation and coming out. We cannot always change the minds of those around us, but HRC gives some pointers online on navigating the “minefields” LGBTQ+ folks face at family gatherings. Check it out: • To prepare for questions regarding LGBTQ people and scriptural teachings, check out HRC’s “Coming Home” series of guides focusing on Catholicism, Judaism, Mormonism, Islam and general Christianity. These guides will help you craft answers to some of the more common questions, and might inspire you to start a conversation about moving toward a more accepting theology. Also take a look at HRC’s “A la Familia” conversation guide. • Avoid conversations in which scripture about a vengeful God are cited. Religion and

OP-ED

ADVICE COLUMN

` ⚫ BY AIDAN PARK

faith are much more than scriptures. Remind people that God lives in all of us and loves each and every one of their creations.You may want to share our newest publication, Just

As They Are, a resource to help parents recognize when and how conversion therapy is promoted, provides information about the dangers of the practice, and offers guidance

Please remember that you are loved and your community is here to support you. If you need other resources do not hesitate to call The Trevor Project’s hotline at (866) 4887386. You can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 or the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860.

DEAR AIDAN

Bro Wants to Downplay My Relationship with My Husband?

Dear Aidan! The Holiday season is coming up and I am going to be going back to my hometown for the holidays! My brother has never been totally supportive of my being gay and getting married to my partner. This year, I am taking my husband back to the hometown with me and my brother has called me and asked me not to explain the nature of my relationship to his son and daughter (they are 7 and 8) and let him describe us as just being friends. I feel this incredibly insensitive and unfair not only to me but to the children as well. Not sure what to do?

Dear BACK IN THE CLOSET, ACK! What a situation! I am so sorry that your brother doesn't seem to want to educate his children about your marriage and want to disregard the sanctity of YOUR marriage!...This sucks. However. I would comply and not push back for right now. Hear me out! If a reader submits a question i am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the reader and the way for the reader to make it out the other side of this exchange with as least amount of damage done to him/herself or other people or a relationship...

If we go REALLY big picture, we must keep in mind the ideal goal and what at this point is going to help us achieve that ideal goal... NOT for the immediate gratification of proving someone wrong and hurting our big picture! Lets take all emotions out of it. I know it is very difficult to do so but think about it... Emotional Stance: HOW DARE HE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Doesn't he love me? Doesn't he feel like I am a human being? Doesn't he feel SHOULDNT HE SHOULDNT HE BE blah blah... Well the reality of the sitaution is that he HAS told you what to do and clearly he DOESN'T see the marriage as normal so trying to get him to respect you at this point is too much of a challenge for you to take on for things to turn around in 2 weeks. So instead lets look at the end goal. END GOAL: Eventual understanding from your brother to honor your relationship. Eventually being able to show the children that gay people are like everyone else. You know what doesn't help the end goal? Positioning yourself as the enemy int he situation and making your brother wrong. HE IS WRONG in my opinion but opinions don't matter because as much as I think HE IS WRONG he probably thinks HE IS RIGHT! So how do you argue with that. I mean seriously how many of these kinds of

arguments have you gotten into with insensitve people who thought they were correct that ended up going well for you or the other person? Can you count really... A SINGLE TIME that this has gone well? So do what you can to not do this, by honoring his request. Just tell the children that you are friends... BUT i would have a conversation with your brother. maybe you can say something like... "Okay I will not explain that we are married at this time if you feel that strongly about it but it does hurt my feelings a bit to have to hide this fact. It makes me feel as though you don't see us as a real couple and we in fact are... so I am hoping that maybe we can be a family that is accepting of each other in the future because none of us are going anywhere" Also reader, He didn't ask you CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR in front of children he just requested that you just say you are friends. So hold your husbands hand when you want to... do as you normally do just don't hit the issue on the nose with kids and keep open communication with your bro! You know what else? Thanksgiving is only a few days long... and as the kids get older... THEY ARE GONNA KNOW WHAT'S UP EVENTUALLY and your bro is going to have to face the music so let it work itself out and don't get worked up

to a point where you react and then you become the enemy! No go and try to have fun with your *ahem* friend. Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

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11.15 – 11.28.2019

LOS ANGELES

NEWS

WORLD PRIDE

` ⚫ BY AMY PATTON

LOUD AND PROUD

LA Pride’s Bid to Host 2025 World Pride

Move over, LA Olympics – World Pride might come to Los Angeles in just a few years. Last week, Christopher Street West (CSW), the non-profit that produces LA Pride, announced an official bid to host WorldPride in Los Angeles for 2025. “Los Angeles is a global city where we honor our unique past and work tirelessly to imagine a better future for all,” said Estevan Montemayor, CSW board president said in a press release. “LA Pride celebrates the city’s diverse experiences ensuring all communities are represented, and we are proud to announce our bid to host WorldPride Los Angeles 2025. We are confident that the vibrant infrastructure of Los Angeles is the perfect host city to welcome the world for WorldPride 2025.” As the first permitted pride parade in the world, LA Pride will have been advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and progressive political change for 55 years by 2025. “Given the transformation our city continues to undergo as well as a perfect score of 100 on the HRC Equality Index, Los Angeles stands out as the ideal global destination to host WorldPride 2025,” stated Don Skeoch, Chief Marketing Officer of the Los Angeles Tourism & Convention Board.

Los Angeles is a city of immigrants representing a diverse array of languages, ethnicities, religions and cultures who have created the fabric of its dynamic and vibrant community. Together, the community champions human rights for all people, regardless of race, gender, and sexuality. Viewed by many as the entertainment capital of the world, Los Angeles is gearing up to host multiple monumental events over the next decade garnering exciting attention and spotlighting the trailblazing city. There is a long history in Los Angeles of groundbreaking advancements in the LGBTQ+ movement. Landmark achievements began in the 1950s when activist Harry Hay started the Mattachine Society and not long after, the first US pro-gay monthly magazine ONE was published. In 1959, the Cooper Do-Nuts protest became the first gay political uprising after police arrested LGBTQ+ patrons for congregating at the shop. By the 1960s, many LGBTQ+ bars and clubs opened and police raided these establishments resulting in protests around the city. Never giving up, fast forward to 2013 when the Supreme Court dismissed California’s Prop 8 appeal legalizing same-sex marriage in California. The Pride movement’s storied history of

WorldPride was founded by the non-profit LGBTQ+ rights organization, InterPride, which meets annually in different cities around the world where its members select the host city at the annual general meeting. The inaugural WorldPride was held in Rome in 2000 and other cities that have hosted the celebration include New York, Jerusalem, Madrid and more.WorldPride takes place every two years and in 2021, over 500 Prides from around the globe will attend the annual InterPride conference in Guadalajara, Mexico where the winning city for 2025 will be announced.

Photo: Amy Patton.

City of West Hollywood float at the LA Pride Parade 2019

pioneers and activists paved the way for the rights LGBTQ+ people have today, but the fight for equality is still far from over. LA Pride embraces this rich history as the fuel to inspire, motivate and drive the LGBTQ+ community to its next chapter. In 2019, LA Pride expanded the Festival grounds adding the first-ever free block party with programming and events promoting greater accessibility and inclusivity which resulted in much-lauded celebration. As the organization prepares for its 50th anniversary in 2020, the footprint will continue to expand and unite the community.

Christopher Street West (CSW), a 501(c)3 non-profit, organized the world’s first permitted parade advocating for gay rights on June 28, 1970, as a response to and in commemoration of the Stonewall Rebellion on Christopher Street in New York City the year prior. Since then, we have built a rich history as an active voice for the LGBTQ+ community across the Greater Los Angeles metropolitan area. Today, we continue to produce the globally-recognized LA Pride Parade and Festival every June in the City of West Hollywood. We also organize a number of events throughout the year with our nonprofit, philanthropic, community, and corporate partners. Visit lapride.org for more information.

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A F L O A T S U M M O N S Y E S M A N

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A B B B E E L A N U N T S I H E C B U M A R A B L T Y E A S O N T S N O C O W A Y R E I N O F G M S G O

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Answers

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38 Pre-euro currency 39 Smooch 1 Like a bull in a china shop 40 Leave gobsmacked 7 Blue 41 Common plural verb 11 Band whose songs are 42 Staple of many a “Real featured in a hit 2001 Housewives” episode musical and 2018 movie 44 One of the Leewards 15 Tube tops 48 LeBron basketball sneaker, 19 Where Hemingway wrote e.g.? “The Old Man and the Sea” 51 Foe in “Wonder Woman” 20 Instrument whose name 55 – – – sounds like a rebuke of 56 Ready for the recycling bin Obama’s dog 57 Field trip chaperone 21 Case load? 59 Surrender 22 River that formed an extension of the Mason60 Celebrity chef Oliver Dixon line 61 Hunger for 23 One who’s just moved from 62 Will of “Arrested Portland? Development” 26 Bit of baseball gear 64 Determined to do 27 “Jeez, I heard you already!” 65 Flower said to cover the plains 28 Number of Hades 29 Game played with a dog 68 Brand of 33-Down 30 Peak 69 Intense blowback against 31 Tennis great who wrote the a signature Trump policy 2009 tell-all “Open” proposal? 32 Major science journal 72 Large mobile devices, to use a modern portmanteau 33 Satchel for a guy 35 Convert a morgue worker into 74 Hair net a spy? 75 Amazon threat 37 Google ____ 76 Muppet eagle ACROSS

"UH, WHAT?"

BY JOEL FAGLIANO / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

79 Highest draft category 80 Garbage barge 81 Tour de France setting 82 Bad person to get paired with for a class assignment? 87 Bender 89 “Present!” 90 Like more 91 Gulf mogul 92 Rulers during the Time of Troubles 93 Jewish mysticism 94 Harmonized 98 Triple-A requests 99 Nickname for a superserious congressman? 101 Trainer of Rey in “The Last Jedi” 102 Eager 103 Fixtures in every Vegas casino 104 Ontario city across the river from Buffalo, for short 105 Craftsy online store 106 Cay 107 For takeout 108 Exemplar of cruelty DOWN

1 Follower of “ah-ah-ah” 2 Fun adventure 3 Colored layer 4 Hungarians, by another name 5 Noses around 6 Northerner 7 One of the Gilmore Girls 8 Old sports org. with the Kentucky Colonels 9 U.S. food giant 10 Suck-up 11 Red with embarrassment 12 Fad toy of the 1990s 13 Tendency 14 What’s better when it’s fine?

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15 Awaken 16 Yellowfin 17 Workers who are always retiring? 18 “Take that!” 24 Strain 25 Tweet, e.g. 29 Language of Omar Khayyam’s “Rubáiyát” 31 Glows 32 Caution on an airplane wing 33 Dip for mozzarella sticks 34 Affecting radically 35 x 36 Biceps exercise 37 Attack on a big scale 38 Uncool 42 Gig for an aspiring electronic musician 43 Root word? 44 Citation 45 What “…” may represent 46 What “#” means in chess notation 47 Slim 49 Surrendered 50 “Take a hike!” 52 Like an uncorrupted file 53 Academy Awards prop 54 Popular Belgian brews, informally 58 Hurt 60 Ballet jump 63 Music genre at a rave 64 Provider of green juice? 65 Bother 66 Put away 67 Vietnamese broth-andnoodles soup 70 “Yeah, right” 71 Academy Awards prop 73 Garden toilers 76 Saliva

51 57

60 63

69 72 77

101

102

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77 Words from a T.S.A. agent before a pat-down 78 Punk rock hairstyles 80 Guarantee 81 U.S.P.S. package status 83 Purchase at a sports stadium 84 Sophisticated 85 How whiskey is often served

32 36

100

86 Financially solvent 87 Blue man group? 88 Something made to be destroyed 91 Where soccer was invented: Abbr. 93 Hitchcock triple feature?

Andy Warhol's Tomato

94 Should that be the case 95 “Hey ____” (start of a phone voice command) 96 R&B great Redding 97 A bit of disputin’ from Putin? 99 Chairlift item 100 Clickable tag on BuzzFeed beside “LOL” and “WTF”

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