Ladies what petrol are you putting into yourself? RELATIONSHIPS (Part 4 of 4) kathryns-blog.com /what-petrol-relationships/ Kathryn
Our relationships are a part of us as much as our bodies, minds and spirits. It’s an external part of our being but they still define and affect us in a way. When you say, “I am a wife, mother, sister, friend” and so forth, you are defining yourself in a small way by that relationship. Humans are social beings, even if you are reserved and introverted, you still need at least one person in your life. I know everyone is different, but for me, relationships are my life and as a healer and nurturer, I am not ever truly happy when I’m not caring for others and making their lives better. That’s just me though. So besides the obvious, here are a few little things to think about when it comes to nourishing all kinds of relationships.
Bring out that nurturing side You don’t have to be “Little Miss Perfect” to be a good person. It’s amazing what small gestures can do when done consistently over a long period, even to strangers. And I’m just talking about being nice, asking that lady behind the counter you see every day how she is going, sending a friend a random “you’re awesome” text for no reason, and just taking time to listen to other people. It doesn’t have to be grandiose. I know these days men have their “bro-mance” (hehe) and women can do something the same. Small gestures of appreciation between you and your closest friends can go a very long way. I know a lot of women who have husbands who aren’t very romantic, and they are okay with that, but many women do desperately need something,
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so just looking out for your bestie and giving her a little compliment or gift for no reason can go an exceptionally long way between friends.
Different relationships require different behaviors Things change in life, and I know this sounds obvious but we seem to forget that we shouldn’t treat everyone the same. Share only your deepest thoughts and feelings with the people you trust. It is awful to think that there are bad people who will use your trust to hurt you, but they certainly do. You can keep certain people in your life, just at arms distance. Always try to not send mixed messages to people about whether you want to hang out socially (after work if it’s a colleague) and so forth. I’m speaking in general terms here, not just romantic relationships. Credit: http://kindnessprojectmea.blogspot.com.au/2014/01/genuinelykind.html
Credit: http://ruthiedean.com/2012/12/06/thekindness-of-strangers/
You shouldn’t feel obligated to take everyone new at work out to lunch, but that being said, don’t be mean or exclude anyone. I myself have always had difficulty with men my own age: trying to be friends and send the right signals. I can be quite awkward and I am a bit of a nerd. At school it was difficult, and I don’t seem much better as an adult. I’ve more or less given up and I’m just polite and professional at work. I’m very fortunate to have a boyfriend who is patient and fluent in “female” and who can translate his own and their behavior to me. I guess what I’m saying is, there is not point banging your head against a brick wall. Create your own version of “normal” and chose the friends that you are happiest and most comfortable with.
Negative relationships This is one I feel a bit ambivalent about. So many people are like, “chop them out, you don’t need that in your life”… but what if its family or someone you are close to? It’s never that clear cut and some of the most draining people I have met have been some incredibly fantastic human beings in other ways. Credit: http://spiritualsage.net/boundaries-bossmastermind-program/ Yes the best thing is to not have negative people in your life but if you don’t want to ditch them entirely one suggestion is to try to have a massive amount of positive influences in your life to drown them out a bit. This doesn’t just have to be people; you can listen to inspirational podcasts and so forth as well. You will need a pick-me-up after because drama and negativity take it out of you. Here is a very good article by Psychology Today that makes
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some excellent suggestions about how to handle negative relationships.
Have a laugh! And lastly, don’t forget your bestie is not your therapist. I think particularly when you’re a mum, you need to have a little off-loading conversation about the crap you both have to deal with. The point is though; don’t make every conversation a psychology session. Yes Credit: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/human-laughlines-traced-back-ape-ancestors you need each other’s advice and support, you are probably stressed out and tired and dealing with challenges, but there is no better medicine than laughter… or shopping! If you don’t feel like laughing of course. The point is to remember your friends are there to have fun with, like when you were kids, and don’t get stuck in the habit of getting together for a whine with your wine.
Soooo… A little bit done every day can go a long way. Being with the people we love and helping them recharges us, even if you are a bit introverted like me. Being kind to strangers we see every day nourishes our spirits as well. Don’t put everyone you meet in the same box and you can change the structure of a relationship with a friend if you are finding they are a little more draining of your resources then they use to be. Don’t try to force things with people you don’t click with because there are so many people in the world and your people are out there. Laugh and enjoy life, you only have today! If you liked this article, please share it on social media. Take Care. Digital Marketer and Entrepreneur You can find me on Facebook Email me at: Kathryn@WomenSeekWisdom.com Check out my Home Page Share +1 Tweet Pin Share Share Reddit Stumble Email
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