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This is ONE TRIBE This is YOUR TRIBE! The place to spark conversations and ignite the imagination. This month we launch our new inspirational netowrk for Mind, Body & Soul, www.OneTribeNetwork.com This will be the new home for all the One Tribe Magazine archives 700+ articles and it’s FREE to join for a limited time.
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One Tribe Magazine will transform the way you see yourself and the world around you. So, get ready to LOVE YOUR LIFE, as our creative writers share fresh perspectives, inspiring stories and simple, easy-to-follow steps that will help you FIND YOUR HAPPY. We would like to thank our fabulous creative writers for their amazing insights and you, our wonderful readers for your continued support over these 34 issues. Have a fabulous month and remember to share the love and live your life in glorious technicolour. With love and gratitude, always. Please note our writers are from all over the globe where there are variations in English dialect, to preserve authenticity we have retained these variations throughout the magazine. Photos and text are Copyright to the respective authors and OTM. Articles in this magazine are for entertainment and do not substitute any medical advice. Š2020 One Tribe Magazine | OneTribeMagazine.com | OneTribe.Media
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Contributors
Samantha E. Vax
Joanna Intara
Intuitive Empath
The Intimacy Genius
Trisha Mitchel TT Creations-Ishtar Temple-Sacred Scars
Christine Saunders
Charmaine Barber
Empowerment Coach at Wholehearted Life
Coach, Artist & Writer
Kenny Ball Chief Designer at One Tribe Media Editor in Chief at One Tribe Magazine
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Contributors
Liva Levica
Lenny Hadassah Zulu
Rapid Transformational & Emotional Detox Therapist
Blogger & Writer
Larry Rosenberg, PhD Inspirational Edutainer, The Larry Show, Sedona, Arizona
Andy Ferguson
Burt Kempner
Guide, Author, Mentor, Speaker, Exploring The World Since 1961
Independent Writer/Producer
Mercy Juma Blogger at HoneyRealTalk & Founder of Chajiuz
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Contributors
Adele Mason
Ingrid Meijerink
Founder/Head Coach at WomenShift Coaching, Inc.
Mindfulness & Creatieve Art Therapist
Vanessa Louise Moore Transformational Mentor, Speaker and Writer.
Robert Landau
Join Us...
National Motivational Speaker, Certified Life Coach.
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Contents
10
How To Build My Dream Life. Samantha Vax
16
Ridiculous Times – Call For Outrageous Approaches. Larry Rosenberg PhD
18
The Day I Failed My Mission. Christine Saunders
22
Early Recovery. Adele Mason
24
Are You Your Mind-Chatter? Robert Landau
28
Do You Want To Get Through Your Relationship Soul Lessons And On To Great Soulfulfilled Sex, Love And Closeness? Joanna Intara
30
When Life’s Tough, Make It A Game. Andy Ferguson
32
A Treasure Chest Of Lessons. Lenny Hadassah Zulu
34
Single - Choice Or Reality? Liva Levica
38
Perseverance Rover. Charmaine Barber
40
Are You In A Box? Mercy Juma
42
The Gaian Mind. Burt Kempner
44
Halloween, Trickle Treat, Witches On Broomstick, Day Of The Dead. Trisha Mitchell
48
The Human Prism Principle: We Are Everything And Nothing All At The Same Time. Vanessa Louise Moore
50
Colors Are A Matter Of Course In Our Lives. Ingrid Meijerink
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photo: kiraliffe
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Model: Samantha Vax. Photo: Lanikai Photography.
SamanthaVax
How To Build My Dream Life. [ 11 ]
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SamanthaVax
Isn’t it amazing that many of us go our entire lives working a job or career with a steady income, and are happy because it pays the bills, not because of the genuine passion connection we have to our work. If you’re like me, you may hop from job to job, in search of one that feels like it fits. The real questions are: “Why do we have to fit our job? Why can’t our job fit us?” I wonder what percentage of people would say they don’t love their job, but do it because it pays the bills? Well, I have some statistics I’d like to share with you. 79% percent of people who leave their jobs, say its because of lack of appreciation, and only 12% of employees leave their job for more money. Do you feel you fit in either of these categories? If so, why not make a change? If not, what is the name of the category you believe you fall under, and are you happy with this placement? Long hours, day in and day out. Night shifts, slamming coffee and energy drinks just to receive a check, well under your value. This is the life many of us live today, at least in America. The ordinary lifestyle of undervalue-why do so many of us choose this lifestyle? Why are we so hesitant to shy away from it, even if we dislike the hours, the pay, and the people? What has made us afraid to trust ourselves? What has made us afraid of creativity and leaps of faith? Our system… Our system has frightened us and made us non-believers in the one thing we should trust with all of our heart—ourselves. Who is to say you cannot have what you dream and desire? What does it take to build your own business? Basics: Networking and connections, a brand, $50 for fees, and a platform for your voice to be heard. Wait… its this easy? Then what are we all waiting for? What are you afraid of now? Whatever your passion is, follow it. Whatever your soul feels replenished and rejuvenated by, follow it. Wherever your heart takes you, run with it. You are beautiful and powerful, and absolutely capable of anything and everything. I know because I did it. As a single mom, I can tell you it has not been easy, but I praise and celebrate myself and accomplishments daily. This is self-love. This is what keeps me going. Stay SOCIAL with
Samantha Vax
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Model: Samantha Vax. Photo: Lanikai Photography.
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“
You are beautiful and powerful, and absolutely capable of anything and everything. – Samantha Vax
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”
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LarryRosenbergPhD
Ridiculous Times Call for Outrageous Approaches
Few would deny that the COVID-19 Pandemic Era can be depicted as ridiculous times; with ridiculous defined as “unreasonable and absurd.” Indeed, we are living through a devastating and bizarre chapter in modern history. Shut down, can’t gather, feel depressed, economy sinks, and the disease and death levels go up and down and up again. Is it possible for us to get beyond all the anxiety and confusion, and forge new and creative ways to deal with a world unmoored? In these shocking times, I believe the only reasonable response to move on to thriving is to devise and apply new outrageous approaches. The term outrageous means to “exceed the limits of what is usual,” which is surely what we as individuals and collectively have to do.
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How Ridiculous Are Our Times? In our chaotic and incomprehensible times, many past guidelines, incremental steps and even rational thinking don’t work as well as they did a year ago. As no manual exists for coping in the current pandemic, we’re forced to improvise as we go. That includes individuals, organizations, society and even the global-sphere. It’s unlikely that COVID-19 and its impact on our world will vanish in the short term. Instead, it may morph, linger and challenge us to change in unimaginable ways over the long term. In this article, I’ve chosen highly evocative words like ridiculous and outrageous – because these times appear to be more catastrophic than in the past. I assert that, at least in modern times, we’ve not encountered a juncture of crises of the current magnitude and tenacity. Here are some reasons: First, the pandemic is truly global in scale and connectedness. Previous crises – including financial, political and war – typically involved many fewer countries directly, while the current one has touched most countries. This puts it in the same league as environmental degradation and climate change. Second, the pandemic has revealed the dysfunctionality and even breakdown of core institutions. Hard hit have been public health/healthcare, government programs, economic prosperity, racial relations, educational consensus, and ecological viability.
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Third, at a time in civilized human history when our science and technology are lauded as extraordinarily advanced, they’ve shown themselves to be no match for the uncontrollable natural and social forces unleashed by the pandemic – at least not yet. And fourth, there is the state of traumatized human competency affecting our comprehending and responding in mature and creative ways to the uncertainty and perplexity of our current devastation.
How Outrageous Should We Act? We dare not be lulled into despair and complacency. But what to do? And how far to go? Because I’m a possibilist, positivist and optimist, I believe that the extreme gravity of the Pandemic Era will not shock and paralyze us for long. I trust in the ingenuity and resilience of humankind, our potential to adapt and evolve our way out of devastating circumstances, and our capacity to reimagine and reinvent our intellectually, socially and physically constructed world. As I see it, we will have to do things very differently in the coming years to put our multiple crises behind us, and learn how to be at home in an era where ridiculousness will be the new normal. Let’s admit that certain institutions and lifestyles that have endured for decades now seem tired and broken. And finally, we will do something about it. Here are examples of three outrageous approaches, or at least up to now they’ve been described that way:
LarryRosenbergPhD
• Redefining leadership in business
and government. Only if the leaders being selected or elected change their inner world will we have the clarity and courage to reform our institutions and thrive again in the outer world – thus, truly serving their customers or constituencies. This might involve bold moves, such as pledges of communal service over self-interests, training to assure collaboration with people of differing views, leaders coming from a diversity of backgrounds and professions, and transparency to assure ethical oversight with strong penalties for violations. nation and balancing global and local settings. Nationalism blinds us from seeing that we live in and benefit from a melting pot of ideas and identities. Along with its co-conspirator of exceptionalism, it drives us to form and maintain cultural, political and social norms that are obsolete in our globally linked world. A grassroots network of communities can take care of local needs, while engaging in a global dialogue on the issues that embrace us all. Few individuals can thrive in a community that isn’t accepting, capable and supportive, nor in an ecological environment that isn’t healthy and sustainable. So, we have to take a radical top-down look at our national structures and change them, and engage in a bottom-up assessment of our personal aspirations and responsibilities.
• Transforming cultures to advance
consciousness evolution. Crises cause havoc, threats and opportunities befuddle, technology and people trade-off, collectivities conflict increased complexity and change interact, control and freedom get confused, exploiting vs. respecting the Earth baffle. Cultures need better approaches to make better choices. The ultimate way to
Photo: Larry Rrosenberg PhD
• Dismantling the structure of the
navigate in this crazy world is first for our cultures (from family life to national policies) to escape the beliefs and habits of ordinary consciousness – ruled by struggle, fear, suffering, violence and separation. And instead instill elevated beliefs regarding personally developing people so they achieve the capacities of higher consciousness – marked by peace, love, joy, unity, harmony, kindness and self-mastery, among others.
A Future Vision According to Albert Einstein, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” The only promising way to create an improved post-pandemic world is to adopt approaches that reflect a paradigm shift.
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What enthuses me about the emergence of outrageous approaches are signs of a global conversation and movement, in which more and more consciouscreative people are looking at our crisis-wracked era and engaging in genuine paradigm-shifting thinking. This shows up as zeroing in on the dysfunctionalities in our world, and developing bold innovations for producing a new reality for civilization and Humanity – such as harmony with Nature, communities that nurture, institutions really serving, a built-environment supporting our humanity, and lives lived with purpose, passion and fulfillment.
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ChristineSaunders
The Day I Failed My Mission. “I must realize God has a plan not only for me, but for everyone on this earth.�
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Model: Christine Saunders
ChristineSaunders
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ChristineSaunders
First, let me share my mission. In 2016 I discovered my purpose, my mission, my why in this one beautiful life. After many years of hiding and pretending to be a different person, I dove headfirst into ME and discovered I will ease the suffering of others whenever and wherever I can. The authentic me was alive and living in and from my whole heart. I am devoted to being in the service of others. Every day I live in and from my whole heart, easing the suffering for others. It doesn’t matter if its friends, family, colleagues, and strangers. It is absolutely amazing! Until one day in August 2020, I failed in my mission of service of others. This is my story. August 2020, five months into the COVID pandemic and I’m working at a local human service department. My job is to lead response and recovery to my group for our clients. Part of this leadership is supporting and performing tasks outside my normal job functions. If you know me, I will do anything for anyone in the service of others and my mission. This means happily providing public assistance to members of my community who are suffering and in need. One particular function is joining another team member and providing lifesaving benefits to our clients. My job this day was to OneTribeMagazine.com
take and deliver the benefit cards to those waiting (we alternate the systems side verses the face to face delivery) It brings my heart joy to help and see the relief on the faces of those assisted, so they can provide for themselves and families during a time of financial uncertainty. I am my purpose and it is energizing This day was slightly different, the energy in the office was not normal to say the least. We had been working long hours, protecting ourselves and our loved ones from the current pandemic. It had taken a toll on us emotionally and physically and we were feeling every bit of it that day plus we were very busy. I contacted a gentleman on foot waiting patiently for me to arrive with his replacement card. He had to walk quite a way to get to our office. He was overjoyed to learn he could now go to the market and be able to buy groceries as it had been a few days since he went last. I was so happy to see the smile on his face! In an instance it suddenly changed! I explained the need to set up a PIN number for his card so he could access his benefits. He shared with me he did not have a phone to set up the PIN and currently, we are not allowing the community into the building. Unfortunately, I did not have a phone for him to use plus regulatory statues along with my integrity would not allow me to do this for him. I was at a loss. I went and spoke to my team to find a solution. Due to COVID, we all were not comfortable allowing him to use our phones. I couldn’t believe it, I had to tell this man who was so happy when he first arrived that I wouldn’t be able to help him now. He was polite but I could tell he was a bit frustrated and I completely understood as to why. [ 20 ]
Without the PIN, he would be stuck and not be able to access his well-earned benefits. I offered a couple of solutions that in my mind were viable and for reasons unknown to me that would not work for him. As he walked away my heart sank, my eyes welled with tears and I felt like I had just failed this person who was counting on me to help him in his time of need. Floods of emotion rushed over me and in reflecting on this, I failed my mission or in my mind, halfassed my mission. The very next person I served was equally emotional. She also received a replacement card and it had been several months since she was able to come to the office. She was so grateful for us and began to cry. She then shared she is dying of cancer and there in the back of her car are these two little angles staring up at me. Needless to say, I lost it. As I watched her drive away with these beautiful little children waving at me, I just stood there with tears streaming down my face. Even though I knew I had eased the suffering of those children for the time being, I knew in my heart the road ahead for these angels was going to be hard and I couldn’t help. As if that were not enough, the last person I had the privilege of serving had driven over 50 miles to get her benefits on her last few dollars of gas. She is a single mother who recently lost her job due to COVID. She lost her home, made the tough choice to have her daughter temporarily live with her father while she got back to work and looked for housing. For those not familiar with where I work, the state is facing a reasonable housing crisis and it is incredibly challenging to find affordable housing. She shared with me the embarrassment of feeling judged as people walk by, stare, and make snide comments from
ChristineSaunders
strangers. It was enough for her to start believing it would be better for her to end it all!! I needed to spend some time with her and see if there was anything more, I could possibly help with Her situation. She told me I am the only nice person she has talked to at our agency and that the person she spoke to earlier in the day was rude, condescending and told her she was suspicious of her living arrangements. This woman made tough choices regarding her daughter and to be told she was basically not telling the truth. It put her in such a hopeless space that suicide was an option she let enter her mind. I reassured I would do everything in my power to make sure she would receive kind customer service from that moment forward. She left in a better place and vowed to contact the suicide hot line if she was feeling that way again. Whew, what a couple of hours of an intense emotional roller coaster of feelings.
Model: Christine Saunders
After multiple days of reflecting on this small but emotionally charged 120-minute span of time, helped me realize I am living my purpose. But it also showed me there will be times in my life I will not be able to help everyone. I must realize God has a plan not only for me, but for everyone on this earth. Did I fail at my mission with that gentleman that had no phone? Yes, and failure is an opportunity to learn and to adjust to the many things we encounter in this glorious life. This day will forever touch my heart and has made me even hungrier to feed my mission to keep going.
Stay SOCIAL with
Christine Saunders
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AdeleMason
Early Recovery. Early recovery is an undefined and undefinable time when a person first gets clean or sober. It is longer than detox, shorter than PostAcute Withdrawal Syndrome (which some say can go on indefinitely) and different for everyone. The earliest days off alcohol or drugs are physically fragile days. Withdrawal from opioids is nightmarish and painful; withdrawal from alcohol can involve uncontrollable tremors, hallucinations, seizures, and is potentially fatal if not handled appropriately. If the physical dependence has been significant enough, the earliest days of early recovery must be focused on surviving withdrawal.
But what then? Life, substance-free. With all that wreckage. All that damage. And all the ghosts that led to addiction in the first place. Where do you start when your brain isn’t working, your body is sick, but to start over, right now?
Safety Addiction is a dangerous disease. Drug houses are not safe places to be. Neither are relationships with others in active addiction, the streets alone in a drunken haze, or some guy’s house for a four day coke binge. Maslow placed the need for safety right above meeting physiological needs necessary for survival. Trauma therapy starts with safety before moving onto stabilization and other areas. Safety is everywhere in human healing. In early recovery especially, both being safe and feeling safe are paramount. Warm blankets. Quiet spaces. The hand of a loved one. A soft word of comfort. Nothing is possible until we know deeply that we are safe.
AA and/NA may be part of the dream team, or they may not. The point is, one is necessary. Doctors, nurse practitioners, counsellors, therapists, peer support workers, case managers - these are the professionals that can be part of the village. Friends and loved ones who are in recovery, as well as friends and loved ones who are simply allies are every bit as essential. We get sick alone. We have to get well with a community of helpful, healthy others.
Adaptation The worst thing you can be in sobriety is rigid. Structured? Absolutely. Systematic? Absolutely. But rigid? That’s a dangerous word for someone in early recovery. Why?
It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a village to help someone recover from a substance abuse disorder.
Particularly if it’s the first time in recovery, it’s hard to predict exactly how it will go. A bit like creating a birth plan during pregnancy, there’s an awful lot you can bet on, and a whole lot more you can’t.
Recovery fellowships like Alcoholics Anonymous and
Some people quit drinking and drugging and crash into hopeless
Dream Team
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Narcotics Anonymous exist in part because their founders recognized one fundamental fact: We cannot recover alone. Addiction is too big, too hard, and too easy to go back to. We need other people if we are going to stay clean and sober, especially in the early days and weeks when cravings are strong and willpower waxes and wanes.
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AdeleMason
and softness everywhere. I think I would have carried that blanket with me through daily life if I could have gotten away with it. I was exhausted. More exhausted than when I was in university. More exhausted than early motherhood. I was so tired, I thought I would be tired for the rest of my life. I remember, at ten months sober, lying in my brand new apartment and seriously contemplating calling my mother over to take my jeans off and put me into bed. I was too tired to move.
depression for months. For others, they sail happily onto what we call “the pink cloud”. Some lucky folks never do get off that cloud. Other crash land off of it, and of those folks, an unfortunate few will relapse on the way down. Lennon said that life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans, and he was right. Flexibility is a beautiful self-care practice, because it honours the changing journey that is recovery and sobriety. It accommodates shifting needs, growth, new healing that is required, and well, the life that happens along the way.
My Early Recovery I got sober in a psych ward, in the middle of a sweltering Ottawa summer. When I was discharged from the hospital, I dove into sweatpants. The summer heat did nothing to warm me up. I had a headache for weeks, and I was cold down to my bones.
I cried and cried and cried, torrents of tears I had no idea that I needed to cry. Sometimes, I would start vomiting (and crying) around midnight, and I would vomit (and cry) all through the night until about ten the next morning. It was like my whole body was purging itself in every way. I cried for almost 22 months before I stopped. Early recovery taught me one fundamental lesson: You can avoid your pain, but your pain doesn’t avoid you. It also doesn’t go away. I had no choice but to face it. There were days I thought the emotional labour of early recovery might kill me. But for a woman who had been drinking mouthwash for years, I knew that NOT doing it meant certain death. So I cracked my heart open, let early recovery have its way with me, and I chose life. Stay SOCIAL with
Adele Mason
I also needed the comfort and warmth of an oversized soft blanket that had come with me from my matrimonial home. Suddenly, my old life in addiction seemed cold and hard and horrible, and I needed warmth [ 23 ]
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RobertLandau
Are You Your Mind-Chatter? The Parable of Maggie It was Maggie’s big day. Everything that she had worked so hard for all these years was about to culminate at 2:00pm in a boardroom. “I can’t believe it’s finally here and you know what? I’m totally dreading it!” Maggie had started her company as a lark fifteen years ago. She never thought it would get this big, this fast. Has it been tough going along the way? Oh yes, more than she cares to remember. Time and time again Maggie thought of calling it quits and closing the door on all she had created. That same feeling proved to be a strong undercurrent to this very day. “I don’t feel like going through this at all. I don’t want to face the board of directors, much less my employees. I’m done, I’m finished and if I could get on a plane and do nothing but lay on a beach somewhere, I’d do it in a flash rather than be here.”
money seemed to be there one minute but was gone the next. The journey was a tough one, something that others might have well given up on early in the game.
Fifteen years ago Maggie Giordano had an idea. “I want to create a place where women can go that need a break in life, that need help. I want them to feel loved and cared for the moment they walk in the door and I don’t want it to stop there. I want them to get the help they need to get their lives back in order and really make something of themselves, to give them hope for the future.”
After two years passed, Maggie started to see some real progress in the form of tangible results. She got to the point where she could have an office, a meeting place, that was easily accessible to any woman that needed her help. “I wanted to help make women’s dreams come true. I once felt that way too, I didn’t think I was going to make it. Because of certain circumstances I totally lost my joy, my passion for life. I didn’t want to be here anymore and didn’t know it then, but desperately needed someone to help me out of the rut that I found myself in. I eventually did just that and now want to return the favor to anyone that feels in need of a loving and comforting hand around their shoulder in the form of help.”
Did Maggie know how to make that happen? Absolutely not. But somewhere deep inside of her, she had a feeling that she would accomplish this goal, no matter what it took. She began with a staff of two and no money.
The one thing Maggie didn’t take in account was how tough things would be along the way to make her Center for Women a reality. People let her down, she let people down, promises were made only to be broken and on top of all of that,
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So today, even during tough times, with a staff of no less than thirtyfive and an impressive record of helping hundreds women get back on their feet in one form or another, Maggie was about to make a presentation to her board of directors that would help launch her business into a whole new world of existence. The catch? Everything depended on what Maggie said during her presentation before the board. The board were some of the most elite, influential and successful people around and all eyes were focused, rather sharply, on Maggie’s efforts on this day. “I want out of this and I want out of it now!”, Maggie heard herself say. Was that how Maggie was really feeling? Well yes...and no. Yes because she had allowed herself to be taken to a place where stresses and tensions concerning her day-to-day existence on the job proved too much for her to bare. Because of this, she wanted to retreat and quickly decided that all of her wishes, hopes and dreams that she had worked so hard to make a reality, were now out of the picture. Her presentation to the board that day would make even more of her dreams come true and would take her business to the next level, a place where making a new life for women in need would be easier and more effective than ever.
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RobertLandau
Robert Landau is a Certified Life Coach that works with people around the world via Zoom. His new website is robertlandaulifecoach.com
Maggie was going to put a stop to all of that because of how she allowed herself to feel about things. Were her feelings legitimate? In her mind they were. This was a storm that Maggie created all by herself, within herself, using her mind-chatter. She let it grow to such emotional proportions that the way she felt ended up blocking her from going any further.
The moral of the story? Don’t ever let your mind-chatter stop you. You are so much more. You are capable of creating great things, if you stand out of your own way. Just ask Maggie. Stay SOCIAL with Robert Landau
Have you ever found yourself in Maggie’s situation? Have you ever come to the place where you’ve had more than you can take? We’ve all been there and feeling this way isn’t totally out of the ordinary. What’s important to remember is that you can’t let the feeling of being fed up or being overwhelmed define you. It’s one thing to feel this way but it’s another to let it go and move on. If you continue to hold onto the fact that things seem impossible, how will things ever change? All of a sudden Maggie jumped to her feet with a new found energy that was fueled by reconnecting with her passion. She grabbed her clipboard full of notes, fixed her hair and makeup and walked into that boardroom that day and delivered an address to the board of directors that not only facilitated the necessary funding her business required to make things happen in bigger and better ways for the women who needed her help, but drove each and every board member to rise to their feet and give Maggie the ovation she deserved for a presentation that was moving and more than effective.
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JoannaIntara
Stay SOCIAL with
Joanna Intara
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JoannaIntara
Do You Want To Get Through Your Relationship Soul Lessons And On To Great Soulfulfilled Sex, Love And Closeness? I’m always fascinated by the way couples come into the room. I observe the eye contact, the walk, the energy. And it often foreshadows the session. Like my clients Lori and John‌ they seemed a bit ashamed, and wanted to be dignified. They were reluctant to come in, and yet knew they needed to. They had an EPIC falling in love period, and that was over and now they had two kids, two self employed businesses and wanted to have things be easier‌ as sex has fizzled, love felt weary and intimacy felt thin. They kept getting stuck‌and owned they didn’t want to feel like victims to their shadows, but acknowledged that they did. They wanted to feel empowered, they considered themselves ‘woke’, and thought they were smarter than this struggle. They were smart, but from my years of training, I know there are many kinds of smart –
instinctual intelligence, emotional intelligence, intuitive wisdom, karmic wisdom and creative wisdom‌and they really needed support on how to access the wisdom in their soul‌and for these particular challenges they were having right now. I’ve studied with some of the most genuine spiritual teachers, who taught me the tremendous value of inquiry‌the practice to access the deeper layers of the self.. (if you don’t know this.. You’ll want to) And so with this couple, we sat with the difficult question‌
I loved watching them get happier and more loved up looking đ&#x;˜‰. Their energy in our space together was palpably more connected, viscerally alive, present, clear and extremely creative. It was like all the lights turned on, excitement about being together and the future was present. So exciting.. And I want the whole world to have it. Including you. Honestly, it doesn’t have to be hard, it is simply a process away and I know I’m the best person to help guide you through the
How intimate are you with the lessons from the difficulties in your relationship?
trenches so you can have it too.
What are the soul lessons that come with the difficulty in your relationship?
deeply to your soul. I can’t wait to
We asked those questions many times. We all listened together. We listened with heart, mind, body and soul. We heard the different responses. We sat with the struggle together. They learned it could be tolerated. We got the clarity – and they used the intelligence they had in one area to access the wisdom from their soul here. And from there, it was integration time. We took the clarity, and then helped that get resourced in the body, in the nervous system, in the heart and the mind.
Tell me what’s ONE thing you’ll do this week to start to listen more hear what it is. And.. I’ve got ONE spot (https:// freecallwithjoanna.com/) open this week for anyone who is really working hard to address the soul lessons that are coming up in their relationship, and know there has to be an easier path‌ Get on this while there’s an opening.. you can tell me any one thing you want help within your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you. Stay SOCIAL with
Joanna Intara
And from there, creativity flowed on what to do next. They went from feeling stuck in their heads, to feeling more open in their hearts. And from thinking they each knew exactly what was going on into a curiosity that loosened the tight grip of their thoughts that caused conflict and contraction. [ 29 ]
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AndyFerguson
When Life’s Tough, Make It a Game As a child, I started off being scared of and therefore hating the sight of bullies. And it was no fun getting picked on and beaten up. In time, I learned that bullies are just people – with issues. That realisation though came via a route that took in fighting, raw and untrained, then a bit more structured, boxing, and finally play. Yes, I found out that if you can distract bullies by getting them to play at something other than their cruel games, you can make life so much more pleasant for yourself and others.
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Today, as I write this, I am exactly six months away from my 60th birthday. As for my life, so far, so good. I have to say though, the memories of those first encounters with (school) bullies over 50 years ago are still so vivid. I remember their names, how they looked, and even how they smelled. Perhaps this was because learning to deal with them so early in my life was a vital step in my development, learning to first put up with unpleasantness. And secondly to finding solutions of my own making. I had had plenty of advice from the people around me: my dad was the one who suggested boxing. To go on a wee diversion for a second.... my dad’s solution to avoid getting beaten up was to get beaten up in a gym/boxing ring ... to me not one of his better ideas. Teachers? Nah, they were pretty hopeless. Friends? They didn’t have any better ideas. Me? Somehow I figured it out for myself. Years later, when I was in charge of adults and kids, trying to teach them how to ski in the fairly inhospitable conditions of Scotland’s subarctic mountains, I discovered a similar trick. When you’re cold, wet and miserable, and you’re finding it ever harder to get your body and mind together to survive, never mind thrive, in that crazy environment, the only thing that’s going to get you through is to change the perspective: To make it all a game. And this applied to me as much as it did to my students.
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Let me pose a question here: Why were fabulously expensive, over-the-top Hollywood movies so popular during the 1930s Depression Era? This was a time when most people had next to nothing. Surely seeing money thrown away on lavish fancy would be a turn-off? Yet these films were hugely successful and the stars often worshipped. The answer, of course, was escapism, pure and simple. Each audience member disappeared into a world of adventure and imagination that was bigger than their own. We all want to be in a good place; and if reality isn’t so good, we use imagination to become a part of something better, more exciting, and that is more fun that reality. It keeps us going, and helps fuel our resilience: Reality hasn’t changed, yet we’re able to cope better. We all want to be happy, delighted and to be having fun. That’s us: Humans, The Party Animals of the planet. Yet most of us have been persuaded that playing games and having fun is just for children. Being an adult is about being grown up and serious. It’s about taking responsibility and being successful, and it’s measured by our achievements. The trouble is, when we hit the really hard times, we lose the very thing that makes finding solutions possible: Playing games that fuel our creativity, adaptability, and ultimately resilience. Having been in a relationship with my partner for over 30 years, we’ve had our ups and downs. After five years of travelling the world together and having plenty of fun-filled adventures, we
AndyFerguson
decided to get married and start a family. That was a really tough journey that seemed endless at times. Yet the only time that I really thought we weren’t going to make it as a couple was when she said, “I can just about put up with everything else, but I can’t stand it when you’re always so miserable”. Being miserable is ... well, it’s miserable, right? Being miserable is unrelenting and debilitating. It’s like being bullied, but this time by the whole Universe. It appears to be the very opposite of fun! “Life isn’t a game,” I heard repeating over and over in my head over those years. But here’s the thing when we’re feeling down, the only way out is to change our perspective. We have to somehow turn it into a game. One we can win. We may have to start small. But small wins build momentum, and small wins accumulate. Soon, as we get a bit of our spirit back, we can laugh at the futility of our efforts, and enjoy the ridiculousness of our situation. And crucially we can also appreciate those little wins that tell us, “you’re not beat or finished quite yet”. And in this we find a tiny morsel of joy, then a chunk of delight, and finally the beaming light of hope!
At this point, I like to remind myself: As long as you can find some wins, no matter how small, you still have something to play for. And then with perspective, we see in the vastness of it all, our issues. They’re vanishing small: Trivial. It’s a cosmic joke that we think we and our troubles are so important – when in reality they and we are insignificant. With this focus, we can say, “I get it, this may be tough, but it’s not a big deal. I will make the next small step”. This is how most of us think about resilience, but it’s even better when we don’t know we’re using it. When we are in our best space, our ability to keep going, adapt and bounce back after a setback or loss is easy, we have plenty of capacity, plenty of room to adjust, give in a little, be generous with ourselves and others. When resilience is high, we don’t even notice the bumps and bangs of the journey; we just flow over them. This is how it is when we’re completely immersed in playing a game. Way back in the first edition of one Tribe Magazine Andrea Reibmayr wrote an article about surrender. She said that when we are prepared and ready, we need
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to surrender the outcome to be what it will be, trusting that being prepared means we will perform at our best, responding to the ebb and flow with ease. This is how to play the game with sustainable resilience. If we take a misstep, then we’ll regroup and continue. If we fail, then we’ll bounce back. We are at ease. It’s all just a game after all. So in conclusion, I urge you to live life for the love of the game. Go on, get out there and have some fun, get creative, invite others to join in, and find that joyful, rewarding and fulfilling space that’s waiting for you to claim. And remember having fun isn’t optional, it’s essential. It’s how we build and sustain personal resilience. Me? I’m heading out now, to crash around on my mountain bike. That’s to maintain my physical resilience by having fun. After all, I only have six months until I’m officially over the hill. With thanks to my fellow One Tribers “Happy as Larry Rosenberg” and “Ferial this won’t take long Puren”. Stay SOCIAL with Andy Ferguson
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LennyHadassahZulu
Photo: Lenny Hadassah Zulu
A TREASURE CHEST OF LESSONS
“The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either.” -NIETZCHE Endings don’t always have to be associated with bad feelings. Endings can be beautiful. Endings can be good, sometimes endings are necessary; for the end of one thing denotes the beginning of another. And in order to reach your goal, something has to come to an end. With that said, stop reliving old memories and scenarios, it’s not necessary. What’s gone is gone. Let bygones be bygones. There’s no use crying over spilt milk, pour yourself another glass if you have to because there’s more to life than a closed chapter. Decide not to reread chapters that no longer benefit nor serve you because there are new and OneTribeMagazine.com
better chapters waiting for you to read and experience. But you cannot experience them nor move forward if you’re still stuck on an old chapter. Close the chapter and determine to never open it again. Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history, do not dwell on the past. Be alert, be present. Something brand-new is bursting out! Don’t you see it? You need to forget in order to see the new thing that is happening. And you literally cannot read a new chapter when you’re still stuck on an old one, it’s either you’ll read the new chapter or the old one, no in between. When you’re stuck on the old you might miss out on something new. So look up in order to see the beauty of the new thing springing forth. It’s time to turn the page and let closed chapters remain closed chapters. The same way we don’t laugh at the same joke over and over again because it stops being funny at some point is the same way you should stop looking back because you no longer live there. According to Sonia Ricotti, “The past is just a thought. Your reliving it makes the body believe it’s happening again...walking in the past is like walking around with a ball and chain attached to your leg. Let go of the past and set yourself free. Focusing on what happened is like staring at a closed door. If you keep staring at the closed door nothing is going to change.” 1 Can you imagine walking around with a ball and chain attached to your leg? You can’t get far because it’s nearly impossible to walk around like that. Who would want to walk around like that? [ 32 ]
Learn all the lessons you can from the past. Glean all you can. Separate the treasure from the chaff. Pick up your treasure and put it in your treasure chest. Here are a few questions to help you glean as much as you can and pick out the treasure from your past: 1. What did it teach you? Analyze everything that experience or chapter of your life taught you. What did you learn to do? Did you learn something new that you didn’t know before going through what you went through? 2. What did you learn about yourself? Every experience comes to teach you something about yourself if you let it. Never throw away the richness of what an experience came to teach you. What did you learn about your strengths? What did you learn about your weaknesses? What about your likes and dislikes? Are you good at setting and keeping boundaries? Time? Your word? etc. 3. What did you learn about others? You can learn a lot about how to live with people through your experiences. You tend to develop tolerance for others, and empathy for those who are not like you. What did you learn about dealing with difficult people? Are you now able to spot them and maybe help them? 4. What not to do? I’m sure you learnt what not to do once you’re presented with a similar opportunity in the future. You know what not to do next time. You know what to avoid or stay clear of.
LennyHadassahZulu
When you’re done gleaning all you can, burn away the chaff. Burn and throw out everything that is of no use to you. Throw it all in the trash and burn it in the fire, you simply don’t need that anymore, it no longer serves you. Like the phoenix burn it all to the ground and then emerge from the ashes with a treasure chest of lessons. Sometimes we go through things in order for us to become better people. Never allow your past to make you bitter, let it make you better. Let it make you wiser. Every experience has a silver lining and it’s your responsibility to find it. I end with these beautiful quotes which summarize everything I’ve been talking about: “Analyze your mistakes. You’ve already paid the tuition, you might as well get the lessons.” - Tim Fargo. Another quote by Robert Kiyosaki says; “Don’t waste a good mistake, learn from it.” And finally Dr. Phil once said; “If you learn from your mistakes, it’s tuition. If you don’t, you have just paid a penalty.” So, go ahead and analyze your mistakes, learn all you can from them, you’ve got nothing to lose. In the end you’ll get the lessons and have a treasure chest full of lessons. ____ Reference: 1 3 Step Formula to bouncing back by Sonia Ricotti
Photo: DragonImages
Lenny Hadassah Zulu
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LivaLevica
SINGLE Choice or Reality?
As we all are adapting “new” ways of living day to day life we are getting more and more concerned about not being able to engage with other people as we have used to! I see lots of people on social media, on news and media speaking about loneliness… Yes, the same monster that so many of us are trying to avoid and so many of us are dreading to experience. The reality here is - “Are we really scared to be on OUR OWN?” “Or is it just another “bubble tabu” that media and society have created???” I have been SINGLE for all my life, I am in my early thirties now, have been living on my own for the last year and have been spending the last two months completely on my own. Most of my adulthood I have been ashamed that I am single and haven’t had any long term relationships. Once a friend of mine, after telling her about my new exciting date, told me with irony that anyway it will last NOT more then two weeks and that was painful!!! But since then things have changed a bit. I have realised ONE thing - what ever happens in my life is my choice! Even if I feel I have NO CHOICE I still understand that this situation, with me NOT having a choice, was created by me! It took me a while to accept that kind of level of responsibility, but thank God, I am here. Since teenage years I have been desperate for love, acceptance and you know that “magic Prince” who would arrive on white horse, fall in love with me from first site, tell me how much he loves me, NO
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not even how much he loves me, but how much he adores me and wants me, who would marry me on the spot take me to his kingdom and we would live “Happily ever after!!!” A nice story for a childrens book - well NO for me it was reality till my late twenties! I started my dating life late, well probably later than most people, but now looking back I understand that it was my saviour. If I would have jumped in it earlier it would have killed me and I a NOT joking. As very emotional and delusional person I would have probably ended up leaving this world just on note of broken heart and crashed illusions. My first BIG love was a bit like that “Magical Prince” only he didn’t have white horse, but white hair though, he was already in age of King more then a Prince and he was more illusional then me. Don’t get me wrong the beginning was trilling NOT to say more! He was telling me how special, beautiful, unique and amazing I am… And it was just SPOT on to keep my illusions / delusions growing wild and free, till I hit the “rock bottom”. But it’s the BEST you can have, because the ONLY way in this situation is UP! I cried for months, not all the time, but lot of the time! I was building castles out of my illusions and hopes that it’s all still possible, it’s all still doable. I was reading any self help book on fixing, building, restoring, creating… anything that would JUST help to make this relationships real and possible. But I refused to see reality - the
Photo: Liva Levica
LivaLevica
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OneTribeMagazine.com
LivaLevica
relationships I was dreaming about was just NOT there! Yes he was real, yes we had a fling, yes we had a illusional chat about “together” future - BUT we actually didn’t had relationships. It ALL was just my illusions built on few words and possibilities that he gave to me in those few moments we spent together. As I said going out of all of this took me a while and even greater while to move on! The other good thing about modern life is that in the moments when you think you could just give up - you realise you CAN’T!!! You can’t because theres another bill coming in that needs to be paid, another tax year ending that needs your attention, another emergency dental appointment, another “catastrophic” thing in family happening… Life just goes on and on and is NOT letting you to sit there and feel sorry for yourself or your lost illusions forever! Next moment I found myself investing “HUGE” sum, which I didn’t had, in therapy course that changed, saved, crashed and put together my life and the way I live it! From that moment things changed a LOT! No, don’t worry, I still did a crazy amount of stupid mistakes and wrong decisions, BUT I was NOT: anymore beating myself up for my mistakes; was NOT sitting there for ages and crying my eyes out; was NOT hopping for “Magic Prince” to come and save me; OH and my “rock bottoms” became one of those dejavu places where I would end up, look around and say “I have been here before; I know what to do” and would just get out of there as soon as possible! And “OH BOY” I went for those life experiences… I allowed myself to go wild, free and “creative” as my sister would say! I would hook up with Uber drivers on my way home from work, I would give my number to guy in Ferrari passing OneTribeMagazine.com
by, I even dropped all my shame and went on site looking for Sugar Daddies and yes NOT to mention Tinder (OLD good friend ;)) In around two years I had more dates then I have ever had in my life, and by that time I was thirty. I explored so many sexual experiences, sex partners and heard about so many experiences that I would have never even imagined to exist. AND I don’t regret any of it, yes I may have been better off with NOT having some of them, but hey “You live and learn!”
place” by hoping that if you find that “special someone” you will get there - it HAS to come from you! You are the “BETTER place” for you! You are the “BETTER everything” for you!
NOW looking back I realise how much I have learned from all of those experiences. How much I have discovered about myself, about who I am as a woman, how I feel about myself, how I want to feel about myself and how I experience world. Also so many things have changed in me and the way I experience myself, they way I celebrate myself as a woman, the way I experience world around me as a woman, the way I am just being ME!
So my suggestion don’t beat yourself up and don’t take everything, especially yourself and life, too serious as you know - NO critic has ever had a monument build for him!!!
There was so much to learn and still is so much to learn, but main thing - EXPERIENCE! So here are some of lessons I managed to learn so far… First lesson learned - “There’s NO place better, if you are NOT better!” I said that to my friend 13 years ago, out of blue came the sentence, but NOW I know why I said it. You see we all are searching for that “BETTER”… Either it’s a relationships, better life, better job, better health, better friends, better life conditions, better something but ONE thing we are forgetting that ONLY thing that needs to be BETTERED is YOU! And you don’t even have to do anything for it - you just have to ACCEPT that you are BETTER! If you think you deserve BETTER then it’s already is there for you, you just have to allow yourself to have it! And trust me you can’t find your “BETTER [ 36 ]
The more time I spend being completely single and on my own the more I find these “BETTER” things in me and also the more I am able to crate them around me. But here is one BUT - you can be your own “BETTER place” and also you can be your own “POISON”! In this case choice is yours!
Second lesson learned - what people think of you IS NONE of your business! I know, know this is hard and how can you NOT listen if even your closest friend tells you something that feels like a cold shower out of blue! Well easy - “One persons opinion is just a drop in the ocean of opinions!” You have to remember that every person who will drop by in your life or even settle in for a longer time will think and require different version of you, I am now speaking of people that drop these “magic suggestions” of how you should be, how you should live your life and so on! You are HERE to write your own story and NO one of them will be there when you die telling you how good choice you did by doing what they told you - it will be just You and You sorting out YOU! And trust me being SINGLE is the best place to build up your “YOU business” and learn how to NOT give a f*** about other peoples opinion! Once you give yourself a safe space to be you and be with you your life changes for better and so dose peoples around you! Also I realised with all the different partners, even ONE off cases,
LivaLevica
unique give away. Where we support each other, we are there for each other and we accept each other the way WE ARE! We grow and develop together, BUT we don’t train or change each other! Our relationship MISSION is to grow, develop and expand as individuals by exploring life together.
how precious my own opinion and myself is to ME! NO ONE will be as charming, as loving, as respectful, as loyal, as caring, as… to ME than ME! If I can’t set the tone and level on which I want to be in relationships NO one else will do that. You are the ONE who creates tone in any of your relationships, by setting the tone in your relationships with yourself! Third lesson learned - You are the MOST precious thing in your life! I used to work in social care and once we were doing training sessions we were always told that the “MOST precious thing to yourself is YOU!” And if you will NOT look after yourself you will NOT be able to take care of anybody. It’s like on the plane, in emergency, FIRST you put on mask on yourself then on your kids, parents, elderly or who ever may need help, because if you go unconscious you will NOT be able to help anyone! In these last two months being at my home, on my own and taking care of myself ONLY - have been the MOST challenging, most exhausting, most amazing, most eye opening and most encouraging experience ever. I realised how much illusions I have been building around my family, friends, jobs, partners and so on.
I told you that I am and ILLUSIONIST! And yes a DREAMER, but that’s how I live life in any direction of my expression.
My mother wants grandchildren, but that’s NONE of my business, my grandmother crys that in my age she already had a house, my dad was 10 years old, she had a stable partner and stable job well it’s DEFINITELY NOT my story!
I saw how AMAZING I am just being me and I learned that NO ONE else even have to appreciate it except - ME! I am the ONLY person that needs to know and understand that I AM AWSOME, no ONE else! And once I realised it and started to accept it things have started to change for better.
I see so many of my school mates, university mates being married for years now, having kids and struggling to be in relationships they are. They are NOT moving one because most of the time it’s just comfortable or they are telling themselves that they are in this for kids sake, but have they ever asked the kids are they happy in this kind of “sacrifice” environment?!? Is that something I wish to have - I don’t thinks so! Yes, I have felt very embarrassed and like an outsider with NOT having relationships, but NOW seeing what’s happening years later I am happy to be where I am and being SINGLE.
I can say that being SINGLE have become my choice at the moment. NOT because I am NOT interested in love relationships - I am NOT interested to be in ONE just for “sake of being in one”!
As I said I am BIG illusionist and my feel of relationships is that they have to be FIRTS - a PARTNERSHIP! A partnership where both of us come in as equals, but bringing in our own [ 37 ]
My give a way to you from all of this - JUST BE YOU! You don’t owe anything to anyone, it also includes your parents! You are here to LIVE your life - so do it YOUR WAY! As that’s the ONLY right way there is and also be PROUD of it as theres NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of BEING YOU! Stay SOCIAL with
Liva Levica
OneTribeMagazine.com
CharmaineBarber
PERSEVERANCE ROVER Anyway, back to the questions I so love to ask. Firstly, are you a perseverance rover? Er, what is one of those Charmaine, I´ve never heard of it before! Bear with me whilst I ask you some more questions that you might not know the answer to, or, you could just start thinking about. So I suggest you take some time out here and settle down somewhere comfortable with a cup of fresh coffee or tea and start to really analyse your life and where you are in relationship to it.
I don´t know about you, but I woke up this morning with a LOT of questions in my head which I think we should all ask ourselves from time to time. I know I ask myself questions constantly because it´s a way of grounding myself in the day-to-day minutiae we find ourselves sometimes drowning in if we´re not careful. For me, it´s a bit like going into helicopter view. What do I mean by that? Well, I simply zoom up into space and get a more separated view of what´s happening to me. It´s more realistic, although it can be a bit scary at times because that´s when I realise how small and insignificant I am in the big picture of things, but, it also makes me sometimes laugh at the absurdity of some of the things I do and say. It´s a way of putting things more in perspective. Try it, I´m sure you´ll agree
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Here´s some of the questions I would ask yourself. Where am I? Am I truly on course and on my way to what´s my mission of the day, week, month, year, decade or even my lifetime? Do I enjoy what I do and am I having fun with it? Am I on my way to a planet full of opportunity, a planet where I can look at things with curiosity, wonder and gratitude? Am I like NASA´s Mars 2020 Mission´s Rover, where I´m curious about the landscape around me, the earth beneath my feet, the water in the air, on the ground, the colour and shape of the planet´s rocks around me. Am I curious about why people do what they do and more importantly, why I do what I do? Is that what you do when you wander through your life, examining everything under a microscope, the way the scientists at NASA will when they get back their rock and earth samples from Mars thanks to their Rover invention? Are you using your Rover intentionally? What is the definition of a rover anyway Charmaine? According to Google dictionary, it is, a person who spends their time wandering, a player not restricted to a particular position on the field. Now that talks about football in this example, which I am so not
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interested in, yawn! But this appeals to me when it comes to life and how we live ours. This is exactly what we need to be doing constantly, radar on and our little insect-like antennae out and probing carefully our path which lies just in front of us if we would only open our eyes and look at the beauty of the journey we are taking part in and of the earth and the world which surrounds us. All we need to do is to have the confidence to take a bold, brave, and courageous step, then we´ll find out what an adventure life is and how fun it can be and that´s when I say, “Great, bring it on, give me more, I love life and I love exploring because there is so much to discover.” When did you last give up on a goal you had in your sights, was it recently, you can´t think of the last time or you´re about to give up because it´s too difficult, too hard, too laborious, too boring, too everything. My advice to you is don´t! Let´s do something wild and crazy and imagine, yes, imagine what we could achieve in our lives if only we took action and became that perseverance rover. The next time you rove your way through your day, do it with play, expectation, and above all, perseverance. Become and stay that Perseverance Rover in the story of your life.
Charmaine Barber
CharmaineBarber
On my way to a planet full of opportunity, a planet where I can look at things with curiosity, wonder and gratitude?
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MercyJuma
Are you in a box? As human beings we are blessed with a type of sense other than the 5 senses that each possesses. It is an inner guide, a feeling we get to do certain things, by gut. It is ingrained inside each one of us. It comes naturally even though for some, it comes more easily than it does for others. When we honor this feeling which guides what we do and how we act, then we become more aligned with our soul and love shines through. Our heart experiences immense peace and some call this having a heart of peace. When we betray that feeling or voice, we distance ourselves from the soul and our heart goes to war and some call this having a heart of war. OneTribeMagazine.com
When we are in a heart of war, we try to make it better and so we start justifying what we did by giving logical explanations for what we have done. For example, let’s say I have a housemate or a sister or brother and we live under the same roof. They do all the house chores while I sit my behind on a couch in front of a television screen and on my phone for the most part of the day. Normally I get this impulse to help out but then I push it back down. “Well they never asked, if they asked I would have considered helping out,” I tell myself. I could also come up with reasons like, “I bring in cash and do the house shopping so it is only right that [ 40 ]
they do it.” I could say I am tired, or I am the eldest and it is their duty. If I was a husband I could tell myself that African men do not clean up when women are in the house. If I was a wife or a mother and she was a house-help or a maid, I could justify the act by saying I pay her to do it, so why would I want to help her? It can be at work, in a project with a work mate, it can be in a family, it can be in our social circle where we may feel a need to reach out to someone, stand up to someone because of a friend who’s character is being shredded and we know we could help. It could also that I do know what I should be doing with my life but I fail to honor that feeling.
MercyJuma
The justification can cut across many divides and the more we do it, the more we stray from our true sense and voice, then it becomes a habit and it becomes harder to realize it when that sense or voice is urging us to do something. This justification, deviates us from our core self and makes us then act in four distinctive ways which the Arbinger Institute calls, being in a box. These boxes depict how we act. It is a simple way of saying that we become trapped in a kind of illusion, where we do not get the results or the life that we truly desire and true success eludes us. 1. The ‘Better Than’ Box Here we feel better than other people. We feel entitled, like we matter more. For example if I am an employer than I will feel better than my employees. If I am a husband, I will feel like I am better than my wife. I may feel better than a co-worker. One race will feel better than another, one university will feel better than another, one ethnic group better than the next, one nation better than another. In short, it may be on a personal basis or with a group of people. But then you might ask, what if it is indeed true than I am better than them? In this case it might be important to notice how you can learn from them too, like there is something special about them too just like there is something special about you. That you might be better than them at one thing or a few things but not everything. 2. The ‘Worse Than’ Box In this case we feel like other people are more important than us and we are way less. It may be a victim mentality. We feeling like others matter more. Like the success of others, overshadows
our presence. Like we do not deserve to be here. We may pity ourselves, wonder why others were created better than us, more talented, more beautiful or handsome, with more money, more prestigious jobs, more success, more confident and sure of themselves? We may feel disadvantaged, and at times even hopeless. It is important to note that this is an illusion too. 3. The ‘Must Be Seen’ As Box Here one has a need to be seen in a certain way. One wants to be seen as perfect for example. To your friends you may want to be seen as a certain type of person, say social, outgoing and fun when you prefer more intimate and personal settings. To your boss you may want to be seen as very intellectual, and a team player so you do and say things that you may otherwise never do. To your folks you may want to appear a very good and responsible person. In short you put on an act, simply because you have a desperate need to be seen a certain way, because you want to be accepted, or liked or adored. 4. The ‘I Deserve’ Box. In this case one feels like the world owes them something, like they were wronged when something happened and were unappreciated or failed to be acknowledged. They may feel like victims, undervalued, mistreated and because of this they may feel resentful, deprived and entitled. The world may seem unfair and unjust and other people may seem unjust and ungrateful.
at work does not acknowledge me like I should or feel like my friends mistreat me for caring like I do. In other words, we feel like we deserve more than we are currently receiving. There are often times situations when we do feel like it is indeed true that we are putting more than we are receiving and the situation is sincerely unbalanced. However one thing we could ask ourselves is whether it is really indeed true. Now that we feel like we deserve more, have we truly, with the purest of hearts, given and showed up for the other person? When we do this normally we will realize that we do not even require payback. If it was really for them then we do not expect anything in return. We give just for the sake of giving. We show up because we honor the sense and it feels right. It is however important to note that, being in these boxes can be temporary. We can get out at any time we choose to. We are always just a step away from where we need to be. How? You may ask. Well, this sense or feeling comes to us all the time, what we need to do is just to act on it. In cases where the boxes have become a habit then more is required. Find out what we can do in this case, in the next article. Stay SOCIAL with
Mercy Juma
For example I may feel like my child needs to appreciate me more, or my husband is ungrateful for the things I do and how I show up for him. I may feel like my boss [ 41 ]
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BurtKempner
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BurtKempner
The Gaian Mind The world is calling out to be restored. Passing new laws might accomplish some good, but we won’t really get anywhere until a large enough number of us cultivate a Gaian mind. That means bringing to the center those humans and non-humans that have been pushed to the edges. It is making major decisions with future generations in mind, not just next quarter’s stock dividends. It is learning to see the sacred in the everyday and the love that seeks to hide itself. It is preserving the Earth not only because it is wise to do so but because it is wonderful.
Something a wise man said to me once, which applies to all of you as well:
“You are a gift, from the heart of creation to this beautiful world that our species has so carelessly damaged. Your life is a gift, to you, and to all of us. You are still here, with an essential contribution to make, not to do more work, but to open this gift of life.”
Burt Kempner
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TrishaMitchell
Halloween, Trickle Treat, Witches On Broomstick, Day Of The Dead.
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TrishaMitchell
All sounds so spooky does it not. Where did all this stem from and why do some religions and society regard this time of the year as evil or taboo?
we know and love to this day.
You already know that Halloween takes place on the last day of October, but here’s something you might not know:
The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago, were pagans, mostly in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1.
The word itself literally means “hallowed evening,” and was previously known to early European celebrators as All Hallows’ Eve. All Hallows’ Eve (October 31) and All Saints’ Day (November 1) both paid homage to saints (“hallows” = saints). The name was eventually shortened to “Halloween,” which
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Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in).
This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. it was called Samhain. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, [ 46 ]
the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints. Soon, All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-ortreating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning
TrishaMitchell
costumes and eating treats. While they began as earnest tributes to saints, that tradition likely fell out of favor at some point…until young Scottish and Irish pranksters got the idea to dress up in scarylooking garb again as a way to spook unsuspecting neighbors. And just like that, thanks to these local hooligans, the costumes, they evolved, too. Halloween costumes and make up became scary, spooky, funny, and creative all at the same time. Halloween draws from both Celtic Pagan and Christian traditions. Witches and their fortune telling gifts were regarded as pagan and evil so naturally after the Salem Witch Hunt,. Witches on brooms with black cats became synonamous with Halloween as many woman would have their fortunes told on that night. Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, is not a Mexican version of Halloween. Though related, the two annual events differ greatly in traditions and tone. Whereas Halloween is a dark night of terror and mischief Day of the Dead festivities unfold over two days in an explosion of color and life-affirming joy. Sure, the theme is death, but the point is to demonstrate love and respect for deceased family members. In towns and cities throughout Mexico, revelers don funky makeup and costumes, hold parades and parties, sing and dance, and make offerings to lost loved ones. The roots of the Day of the Dead, celebrated in contemporary Mexico and among those of Mexican heritage in the United States and around the world, go back some 3,000 years, to the rituals honoring the dead in preColumbian Mesoamerica. The Aztecs and other Nahua
people living in what is now central Mexico held a cyclical view of the universe, and saw death as an integral, ever-present part of life.
Ofrendas can be decorated with candles, bright marigolds called cempasuchil and red cock’s combs alongside food like stacks of tortillas and fruit.
In ancient Europe, pagan celebrations of the dead also took place in the fall, and consisted of bonfires, dancing and feasting.
The most prominent symbols related to the Day of the Dead are calacas (skeletons) and calaveras (skulls).
Some of these customs survived even after the rise of the Roman Catholic Church, which unofficially adopted them into their celebrations of two minor Catholic holidays,
Regardless of culture, belief system or superstition we all feel the loss of someone who passed away.
All Saints Day and All Souls Day, celebrated on the first two days of November.
There are various methods to remember our loved ones such as
In medieval Spain, people would bring bring wine and pan de ánimas (spirit bread) to the graves of their loved ones on All Souls Day; they would also cover graves with flowers and light candles to illuminate the dead souls’ way back to their homes on Earth. In the 16th century, Spanish conquistadores brought such traditions with them to the New World, along with a darker view of death influenced by the devastation of the bubonic plague. El Día de los Muertos is not, as is commonly thought, a Mexican version of Halloween, though the two holidays do share some traditions, including costumes and parades.
How we celebrate and remember them is a very personal thing.
Visits to the grave sites, putting fresh flowers on the grave site, cleaning their grave site, lightening candles, bring them something of their personal items left behind, having a meal with them at the grave site. All these rituals should be regarded as sacred. Our Loved Ones never leave us and they want to be remembered. Many cultures and civilizations revere the Dead yearly with joy and tears. We need to take the Fear out of Death and join them in the Dance of the Dead, Even if its one night of the Year. PUMPKINS, CANDLES, BROOMSTICKS AND SKULLS.......
On the Day of the Dead, it’s believed that the border between the spirit world and the real world dissolve.
WHAT A OXYMORON TIME FOR BOTH THE LIVING AND THE DEAD...
During this brief period, the souls of the dead awaken and return to the living world to feast, drink, dance and play music with their loved ones.
Stay SOCIAL with Trisha Mitchell
In turn, the living family members treat the deceased as honored guests in their celebrations, and leave the deceased’s favorite foods and other offerings at gravesites or on the ofrendas built in their homes.
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VanessaLouiseMoore
The Human Prism principle: We are everything and nothing all at the same time.
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VanessaLouiseMoore
The Human Prism Principle, the concept that’s helped me understand myself better and the world around me. I firmly believe that we are everything and nothing all at the same time. What do I mean by that? I believe there’s an invisible power that turns the world, grows the grass and lives through us and beats our hearts. This power some people call God or Universal source or energy. You could call it Fred, for all I care but I firmly believe that this power that lives in and through us is what makes us truly magnificent. I also understand that too many of us rely on just the physical, finite part of us and believe that this is all there is. In my experience and my understanding for those of us that believe the physical part is all there is, we’re the ones that create disease and burn out, ill health, we find that we’re addicted and we remain angry, frustrated and longing for more. I want us to all understand and appreciate how magnificent we truly are if only we allow this invisible power to live through us. I started asking friends and colleagues to help me with a concept of everything and nothing. I started to ask them, “Have you ever been with anybody who’s passed away or seen a loved one in Chapel of rest?” Those that had said, yes, I asked, “What’s the one thing that you say about your loved one once they’ve passed?” The answer I was receiving was, “It doesn’t seem like the person I knew, it doesn’t look like them.” I asked, “Why do you think that is?” they would say, “Well their essence, their soul, their energy has left their body. I also believe this to be true. So I asked, “Where do believe that energy goes, that essence, that soul ,that you talk about?” And
they would respond with, “Well sort of out in the ether really, sort of out there.” They agreed that it lived on, they couldn’t understand that it would die away. So then I said, “So what happens to the body, the physical part of us?” The response I would get would be, “Well, it is either cremated or destroyed.” So I asked, “So we understand that the physical part of us that’s left, disintegrates back to dust and put back in the ground?” “Yes” is the response I got. Therefore, that’s how I understood and helped others by explaining that there is an everything part of us that keeps our body alive, that once it leaves our body it continues to live on and on and on. The physical part of us once that energy has left dies away and returns to dust. I wasn’t quite satisfied that maybe this concept people would really catch on to. So before I went to sleep that evening, I asked the universe, the higher part of me, to give me an idea of how I could explain myself further. I woke up the next morning to the most beautiful rainbow on my bedroom carpet. Of course, I thought to myself and the Human Prism Principal was born. I recognised that Sun was shining through the glass prism on my window ledge and created a beautiful rainbow. Now, in my understanding, if we could take the sunshine in my observation as the invisible power and the glass prism represents the human part of us, when we allow the invisible power to live and pass through us, when we are connected and aligned to the invisible power, the rainbow represents our authentic expression of who we truly are and we give ourselves the best opportunity to live our lives in [ 49 ]
harmony and flow. This is how I believe we truly express our essential selves, through our connection to Universal source. However I also believe that for those of us that don’t understand this concept to be true or have problems applying it, the stories we create about ourselves act as an umbrella that blocks this energy from passing through our human being, causing disconnection This disconnection results in ill health, feelings of anger and leaving us searching outside of ourselves for fulfillment and happiness, all of which is futile and leads to addiction. So when we align with the higher power and allow it to pass through us, it dissolves our stories of separation and we are able to truly express ourselves; that for me is what connection is all about, learning to embrace the everything and the nothing part of you to feel complete and whole as one. The Human Prism Principle helps me and many others understand that for us to feel truly connected to our whole self, for us to fully appreciate ourselves as a whole and wellbeing, it’s essential for us to do what we can to align ourselves with that invisible power so we are able to express our true colors, express our truest self and live a happy, harmonious peaceful life.
Vanessa Louise Birt
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IngridMeijerink
Colors are a matter of course in our lives. in our lives. We don’t even realize that they are there. As a result, we do not realize how they affect us. Colors are such a beautiful phenomenon. To see colors you depend on 3 factors such as light, matter and you as a conscious observer. I see the color as the soul of our nature and the universe. It moves between dark and light and between spirit and matter. You only see shapes through color nuances. Just think of black, white and gray or dark and light tones. Light has different wavelengths that are measured in nanometers. Each color has its own wavelength between 400 and 780 nanometers. Did you know that colors are frequencies (vibrations) which are visible in the spectrum of the light? We can observe light from 400 nanometer (violet) (high energy photon) to 780 nanometer (red) (low energy photon) We mainly perceive colors through our eyes. Our retina is very sensitive to this. But did you know that we also perceive colors through our skin? Our skin is our largest organ and is actually a kind of antenna and transformer that detects and receives all vibrations and radiation around us and transmits them via small stimuli to our body? Small nerves in the skin receive these stimuli and pass them on to our brains. Special receptors (receivers) in the skin recognize the specific vibrational frequencies of the colors. When the hypothalamus receives these frequencies, a OneTribeMagazine.com
neuroendocrine response is initiated. Knowledge of colors is therefore indispensable in healing drawing and painting. The use of color says something about the physical body, the emotions and feelings. When people come to me for Creative Art therapy they have to fill in a 45 questionnaire. Some people are color blind and cannot see the colors, but they do experience these stimuli through their environment, for example. To create colors, 2 types of energies are needed: light and dark. These are opposite energies that do complement each other, however, you will probably recognize the yinyang sign. Can you find light and darkness in yourself? Behind all the visible of what we see in a human being is often hidden a whole other world. When you are tired, drawing with colors is ideal. It is as if new energy flows back to you when you work with colors. Each color has its own effect. Consider the rainbow. Today the rainbow is still seen as a sign of the covenant between God and everything that lives on earth. When the rainbow is high in the sky, it moves with the person who observes it. When it rains and the sun is shining, you also see the meeting between light and dark. When we see 2 rainbows, the one is usually a bit weaker in color and the colors are in the opposite order of the other! The rainbow lets us experience that there is an infinite electromagnetic field. Our body is [ 50 ]
exposed to all those invisible rays of colors, waves, etc. In these days where people work a lot at home and can experience stress from job loss or the loss of a loved one, I would recommend that you surround yourself in yellow. Yellow calms in stressful situations and strengthens your inner wisdom.The color yellow is healing for the stomach, liver, spleen, the vegetative nervous system, eyes, intestines, pancreas and helps with eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia, but also very good for recovering from fatigue . Also think about the colors of the clothes you are wearing‌. Would you like to know more about what colors can do for you? Let OneTribe know and I’ll devote my next article to it. love and colorful greetings, Ingrid.
Ingrid Meijerink
IngridMeijerink
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DIF FER ENT
religions skin colours languages
EMBRACE DIVERSITY AND PROSPER
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DawnBates
What happens when we get curious? Becoming Annie: The Biography of a Curious Woman
Becoming who we truly are is a defining moment in everyone’s journey; yet many
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DawnBates
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